FAMILY PORTRAIT
By Kiddo
~*~In Loving Memory Of Jonathan Brandis~*~
Information:
seaQuest, Lucas Wolenczak, and all the other characters and places in this story don't belong me. I have no rights for them and I am not making money with this story. The story is a translation of my German story "Portrait einer Familie".
The song "Family Portrait" was written by Pink. When I heard this song for the first time, I thought that it would make a good SeaQuest songfic about the divorce of Lucas's parents. I was sure that someone would write it. But I never found one. So I decided to do it myself. :-)
This story takes place before the show started; Lucas Wolenczak is 13 years old.
I love the first episode of the first season, but there is one thing that I always found strange. It is at the end of the episode, when Bridger and Lucas talk together in the captain's cabin.
In their short conversation, Lucas tells Bridger that his parents were never happy together and that he had wished that they would get divorced. But I never could really believe this; I've never met anyone who wished that their parents would divorce. And therefore I decided to write a story about this.
Feedback is always welcome.
A spezials thanks goes to my beta reader Jackie.
**************************************************************************
Uh,uh, some deep shit, uh, uh
* It was late in the evening, but 13 years old Lucas Wolenczak lay still awake in his bed. He couldn't sleep. He could hear the loud voices of his parents downstairs. They were tearing each other up. The blond boy turned around on his other side, groaned out loud and rolled his eyes. He had vacation for three days, and was at home in the big villa. His parent had argued every evening and every time they had even seen each other. The 13 year old had hoped that his parents had changed for the better while he had been away at school. But it just hadn't happened; it had stayed the same. Lucas could not often understand why his parents were always fighting. Sometimes it just was enough when they were able to be in the same room. And then, on other days, his parents were like heart and soul. Sometimes the young genius couldn't understand his parents.
*
Mama please Stop cryin', I can't stop the sound
Your pain is painful and it's tearing me down
I hear glasses breaking as I sit up in my bed
I told dad you didn't mean those nasty things you said
*
Lucas pulled himself together and sat up in his bed. Something made of glass had just broken. It had sounded like it had come from downstairs. A few seconds later, the boy's trembling calmed down. He could still hear his parents' voices. Hadn't they heard the sound? Or did they just ignore it?
*
You fight about money, about me and my brother
And this I come home to, this is my shelter
It ain't easy, growin' up in WW3
Never knowin' what love could be, you'll see,
I don't want love to destroy me like it has my family
*
It hurt deep in his heart when his parents argued. He could remember wishing for a brother or a sister when he was younger. Somebody he could talk to, someone who could comfort him and who could understand his problems. But now, he was glad that he was an only child. Because he was the only one who had to suffer through the fights his parents got into. Because he was the only one who couldn't sleep at night, instead staying up and thinking about his parents and hoping that the arguments would stop soon.
*
Can we work it out? Can we be a family
I promise I'll be better, Mommy I'll do anything
Can we work it out? Can we be a family
I promise I'll be better, Daddy please don't leave
*
Lucas pushed back his covers and got up. He didn't even turn the light on; he knew his room good enough. He went, barefoot, to his door and opened it. He went slowly down the stairs, his feet not making any sound. At the end of the stairs, he saw two big black bags. They were his father's bags. Was his father leaving on a business trip this evening? No, this couldn't be right...his father would have said goodbye...
*
Daddy please stop yelling, I can't stand the sound
*
Lucas went to the door he could hear his parents' voices coming from. The boy jumped when he heard his father scream and closed his eyes for a second. His father had screamed something about custody and Lucas's name. He hadn't understood the other words.
Lucas had a bad feeling about this. He took a big breath, and then he opened the door.
Cynthia and Lawrence Wolenczak looked shocked and surprised to see their son. Dr. Wolenczak was the first to speak. "What are you doing here? You should have been asleep 2 hours ago!"
Cynthia Wolenczak looked coldly at her husband. Lucas could see, that his Mom had been crying. "That's a really stupid question Lawrence, he can't sleep because you are screaming!"
Lawrence looked angrily at his wife. "I'm not the only one who is screaming!" Lucas wished he had never opened the door to this room; he hated it when his parents argued about him.
*
Make mama stop cryin', 'Cause I need you around
My mama she loves you, no matter what she says its true
I know that she hurts you, but remember I love you too!
*
Lucas felt that his parents were uncomfortable with his presence; what was going on?
Cynthia Wolenczak wiped away her tears and sat down on one of the sofas. She patted the place beside her with her hand. "Lucas please, sit down."
The boy did what his mother had asked. In a corner of the room, he could a precious Chinese vase; the vase was broken in many pieces. Something was very wrong. His bad feeling was becoming bigger and bigger.
Dr. Wolenczak sat down on the other sofa in the room. He looked his child in the eyes. "Lucas... your - your mother and I have decided to divorce."
Lucas had a feeling like someone had just taken away the ground from under his feet. He looked aghast at his mother, and then at his father. He couldn't - no he didn't want to believe what he had just heard.
Cynthia tried to take Lucas's hand in between her own, but the boy pulled it away. The blond woman tried to give her son a smile but failed. "Lucas, this is best for all of us. Nothing will change for you. You can visit both of us during your school holidays. The only change is that you can't visit us together; you have to visit one after the other. You will see, we will always be there for you!" Lucas looked unsympathetically at his mother. Did she really believe what she had just said?
Lawrence looked at his son, concerned. Lucas's blue eyes were wide open; they showed all the hurt, disappointment, anger, and helplessness he felt. His son was not known to sit quietly for such a long time. He had expected that the boy would scream at them. At the moment he would prefer the screaming, and not this depressed, silent look on Lucas's face. He couldn't handle such a thing. "Lucas please, say something, talk to us."
The blond boy could only shake his head, nothing more. Suddenly he jumped up and stormed out of the room. Cynthia stood up, she wanted to follow him. "Lucas!"
Dr. Wolenczak shook his head and held her back by the arm. "No, let him go. He needs time alone...time to calm down." Both sat down on the sofas again. Without saying anything, they looked at each other. Both their thoughts were with their child.
*
I ran away today, ran from the noise, ran away
Don't wanne go back to that place, but don't have no choice, no way
It ain't easy, growin' up in WW3
Never knowin' what love could be, well I've seen,
I don't want love to destroy me like it has did my family
*
Lucas closed his door with a loud bang. He turned the key behind him, and threw himself down on his bed. Tears were running down his face. He took his teddy bear that had been sitting in the corner of his bed and hugged him. His parents had tried to convince him that he was too old for a stuffed animal. He would never give his teddy away, though. How often had he cried to his teddy? How often had he told him his problems as a small child?
*
Can we work it out? Can we be a family
I promise I'll be better, Mommy I'll do anything
Can we work it out? Can we be a family
I'll promise I'll be better, Daddy please don't leave
*
Why did his parents have to divorce? Yes, they argued a lot, but was that a good reason? Other families argued and still stayed together. Had he been so bad in the last three days that he was the reason his parents were arguing? Was he the reason why they wanted to divorce?
*
In our family portrait, we look pretty happy
Let's play pretend, let's act like it comes naturally
I don't wanna have to split the holidays
I don't want two adresses
I don't want a step-brother anyway
And I don't want my mom to have to change her last name!
*
His mother had told him that nothing would change for him. But that wasn't true. His whole life would change. But which parent would he stay with when he had holidays? Or would they each try to get rid of him and tell him to go and stay with the other?
*
In our family portrait, we look pretty happy
We look pretty normal, let's go back to that
In our family portrait, we look pretty happy
Let's play pretend, act like it goes naturally
*
Lucas's glance fell on the photo on his night stand. It was a family portrait. All three people smiled happily at the camera. The boy could easily remember where and when the picture had been taken. They had all been so happy on that day. Why couldn't they be as happy as when the family on the portrait had been taken.
*
In our family portrait, we look pretty happy
(Can we work it out? Can we be a family?)
We look pretty normal, let's go back to that
(I'll promise I'll be better, Mommy I'll do anything)
In our family portrait, we look pretty happy
(Can we work it out? Can we be a family?)
Let's play pretend, act like it goes naturally
(I'll promise I'll be better, Daddy please don't leave)
In our family portrait, we look pretty happy
(Can we work it out? Can we be a family?)
We look pretty normal, let's go back to that
(I'll promise I'll be better, Daddy please don't leave)
*
Lucas thought of a few of his friends that had divorced parents. He had never thought that he would be like them one day. Cynthia and Lawrence had always said, when they got married, they made a promise to God to stay together forever. And when somebody did that, they had to keep that promise. But now, they had apparently changed their minds. Maybe they didn't count on things changing.
Lucas knew that for his friends, things had changed a lot with the divorce. He wasn't so naive as to believe that wouldn't happen to him. The boy knew that some friends didn't see their fathers or mothers anymore. But because of his school, he only saw his parents a few times in the year anyway. And now, those times would get less and less.
*
Daddy don't leave
Daddy don't leave
Daddy don't leave
Turn around please
Remember that night you left you took my shining star?
Daddy don't leave
Daddy don't leave
Don't leave us here alone
*
Lucas heard the front door close. He got up off his bed and went to his window. His teddy was still in his arms and he didn't let go of him. He saw that his father leave the villa with the two big bags he had seen before. The scientist went to his car. He lay the two big bags in the trunk of the black Mercedes. Without looking back at the villa, he got in his car and drove away.
*
Mom will be nicer
I'll be so much better, I'll tell my brother
Oh, I won't spill the milk at dinner
I'll be so much better, I'll do everything right
I'll be your little girl forever
I'll go to sleep at night
*
Lucas went back to his bed. The tears were still running down his face. He had always wished that his parents would stop fighting. But he hadn't wanted this solution. The blond boy tried to tell himself that this was the best for all of them. Just like his mother had told him. This was for the best, and now his parents wouldn't argue anymore. This solution was the best for all of them.
*
Daddy don't leave. Daddy don't leave
*
Lucas buried his face in his teddy bear. Maybe he could really believe that one day, he just had to tell it himself, over and over again. Maybe he could believe that this was the best for all of them and that he had always wished it. He just had to tell it often enough to himself...
THE END
Written July 2003/ Transleted January 2004
By Kiddo
~*~In Loving Memory Of Jonathan Brandis~*~
Information:
seaQuest, Lucas Wolenczak, and all the other characters and places in this story don't belong me. I have no rights for them and I am not making money with this story. The story is a translation of my German story "Portrait einer Familie".
The song "Family Portrait" was written by Pink. When I heard this song for the first time, I thought that it would make a good SeaQuest songfic about the divorce of Lucas's parents. I was sure that someone would write it. But I never found one. So I decided to do it myself. :-)
This story takes place before the show started; Lucas Wolenczak is 13 years old.
I love the first episode of the first season, but there is one thing that I always found strange. It is at the end of the episode, when Bridger and Lucas talk together in the captain's cabin.
In their short conversation, Lucas tells Bridger that his parents were never happy together and that he had wished that they would get divorced. But I never could really believe this; I've never met anyone who wished that their parents would divorce. And therefore I decided to write a story about this.
Feedback is always welcome.
A spezials thanks goes to my beta reader Jackie.
**************************************************************************
Uh,uh, some deep shit, uh, uh
* It was late in the evening, but 13 years old Lucas Wolenczak lay still awake in his bed. He couldn't sleep. He could hear the loud voices of his parents downstairs. They were tearing each other up. The blond boy turned around on his other side, groaned out loud and rolled his eyes. He had vacation for three days, and was at home in the big villa. His parent had argued every evening and every time they had even seen each other. The 13 year old had hoped that his parents had changed for the better while he had been away at school. But it just hadn't happened; it had stayed the same. Lucas could not often understand why his parents were always fighting. Sometimes it just was enough when they were able to be in the same room. And then, on other days, his parents were like heart and soul. Sometimes the young genius couldn't understand his parents.
*
Mama please Stop cryin', I can't stop the sound
Your pain is painful and it's tearing me down
I hear glasses breaking as I sit up in my bed
I told dad you didn't mean those nasty things you said
*
Lucas pulled himself together and sat up in his bed. Something made of glass had just broken. It had sounded like it had come from downstairs. A few seconds later, the boy's trembling calmed down. He could still hear his parents' voices. Hadn't they heard the sound? Or did they just ignore it?
*
You fight about money, about me and my brother
And this I come home to, this is my shelter
It ain't easy, growin' up in WW3
Never knowin' what love could be, you'll see,
I don't want love to destroy me like it has my family
*
It hurt deep in his heart when his parents argued. He could remember wishing for a brother or a sister when he was younger. Somebody he could talk to, someone who could comfort him and who could understand his problems. But now, he was glad that he was an only child. Because he was the only one who had to suffer through the fights his parents got into. Because he was the only one who couldn't sleep at night, instead staying up and thinking about his parents and hoping that the arguments would stop soon.
*
Can we work it out? Can we be a family
I promise I'll be better, Mommy I'll do anything
Can we work it out? Can we be a family
I promise I'll be better, Daddy please don't leave
*
Lucas pushed back his covers and got up. He didn't even turn the light on; he knew his room good enough. He went, barefoot, to his door and opened it. He went slowly down the stairs, his feet not making any sound. At the end of the stairs, he saw two big black bags. They were his father's bags. Was his father leaving on a business trip this evening? No, this couldn't be right...his father would have said goodbye...
*
Daddy please stop yelling, I can't stand the sound
*
Lucas went to the door he could hear his parents' voices coming from. The boy jumped when he heard his father scream and closed his eyes for a second. His father had screamed something about custody and Lucas's name. He hadn't understood the other words.
Lucas had a bad feeling about this. He took a big breath, and then he opened the door.
Cynthia and Lawrence Wolenczak looked shocked and surprised to see their son. Dr. Wolenczak was the first to speak. "What are you doing here? You should have been asleep 2 hours ago!"
Cynthia Wolenczak looked coldly at her husband. Lucas could see, that his Mom had been crying. "That's a really stupid question Lawrence, he can't sleep because you are screaming!"
Lawrence looked angrily at his wife. "I'm not the only one who is screaming!" Lucas wished he had never opened the door to this room; he hated it when his parents argued about him.
*
Make mama stop cryin', 'Cause I need you around
My mama she loves you, no matter what she says its true
I know that she hurts you, but remember I love you too!
*
Lucas felt that his parents were uncomfortable with his presence; what was going on?
Cynthia Wolenczak wiped away her tears and sat down on one of the sofas. She patted the place beside her with her hand. "Lucas please, sit down."
The boy did what his mother had asked. In a corner of the room, he could a precious Chinese vase; the vase was broken in many pieces. Something was very wrong. His bad feeling was becoming bigger and bigger.
Dr. Wolenczak sat down on the other sofa in the room. He looked his child in the eyes. "Lucas... your - your mother and I have decided to divorce."
Lucas had a feeling like someone had just taken away the ground from under his feet. He looked aghast at his mother, and then at his father. He couldn't - no he didn't want to believe what he had just heard.
Cynthia tried to take Lucas's hand in between her own, but the boy pulled it away. The blond woman tried to give her son a smile but failed. "Lucas, this is best for all of us. Nothing will change for you. You can visit both of us during your school holidays. The only change is that you can't visit us together; you have to visit one after the other. You will see, we will always be there for you!" Lucas looked unsympathetically at his mother. Did she really believe what she had just said?
Lawrence looked at his son, concerned. Lucas's blue eyes were wide open; they showed all the hurt, disappointment, anger, and helplessness he felt. His son was not known to sit quietly for such a long time. He had expected that the boy would scream at them. At the moment he would prefer the screaming, and not this depressed, silent look on Lucas's face. He couldn't handle such a thing. "Lucas please, say something, talk to us."
The blond boy could only shake his head, nothing more. Suddenly he jumped up and stormed out of the room. Cynthia stood up, she wanted to follow him. "Lucas!"
Dr. Wolenczak shook his head and held her back by the arm. "No, let him go. He needs time alone...time to calm down." Both sat down on the sofas again. Without saying anything, they looked at each other. Both their thoughts were with their child.
*
I ran away today, ran from the noise, ran away
Don't wanne go back to that place, but don't have no choice, no way
It ain't easy, growin' up in WW3
Never knowin' what love could be, well I've seen,
I don't want love to destroy me like it has did my family
*
Lucas closed his door with a loud bang. He turned the key behind him, and threw himself down on his bed. Tears were running down his face. He took his teddy bear that had been sitting in the corner of his bed and hugged him. His parents had tried to convince him that he was too old for a stuffed animal. He would never give his teddy away, though. How often had he cried to his teddy? How often had he told him his problems as a small child?
*
Can we work it out? Can we be a family
I promise I'll be better, Mommy I'll do anything
Can we work it out? Can we be a family
I'll promise I'll be better, Daddy please don't leave
*
Why did his parents have to divorce? Yes, they argued a lot, but was that a good reason? Other families argued and still stayed together. Had he been so bad in the last three days that he was the reason his parents were arguing? Was he the reason why they wanted to divorce?
*
In our family portrait, we look pretty happy
Let's play pretend, let's act like it comes naturally
I don't wanna have to split the holidays
I don't want two adresses
I don't want a step-brother anyway
And I don't want my mom to have to change her last name!
*
His mother had told him that nothing would change for him. But that wasn't true. His whole life would change. But which parent would he stay with when he had holidays? Or would they each try to get rid of him and tell him to go and stay with the other?
*
In our family portrait, we look pretty happy
We look pretty normal, let's go back to that
In our family portrait, we look pretty happy
Let's play pretend, act like it goes naturally
*
Lucas's glance fell on the photo on his night stand. It was a family portrait. All three people smiled happily at the camera. The boy could easily remember where and when the picture had been taken. They had all been so happy on that day. Why couldn't they be as happy as when the family on the portrait had been taken.
*
In our family portrait, we look pretty happy
(Can we work it out? Can we be a family?)
We look pretty normal, let's go back to that
(I'll promise I'll be better, Mommy I'll do anything)
In our family portrait, we look pretty happy
(Can we work it out? Can we be a family?)
Let's play pretend, act like it goes naturally
(I'll promise I'll be better, Daddy please don't leave)
In our family portrait, we look pretty happy
(Can we work it out? Can we be a family?)
We look pretty normal, let's go back to that
(I'll promise I'll be better, Daddy please don't leave)
*
Lucas thought of a few of his friends that had divorced parents. He had never thought that he would be like them one day. Cynthia and Lawrence had always said, when they got married, they made a promise to God to stay together forever. And when somebody did that, they had to keep that promise. But now, they had apparently changed their minds. Maybe they didn't count on things changing.
Lucas knew that for his friends, things had changed a lot with the divorce. He wasn't so naive as to believe that wouldn't happen to him. The boy knew that some friends didn't see their fathers or mothers anymore. But because of his school, he only saw his parents a few times in the year anyway. And now, those times would get less and less.
*
Daddy don't leave
Daddy don't leave
Daddy don't leave
Turn around please
Remember that night you left you took my shining star?
Daddy don't leave
Daddy don't leave
Don't leave us here alone
*
Lucas heard the front door close. He got up off his bed and went to his window. His teddy was still in his arms and he didn't let go of him. He saw that his father leave the villa with the two big bags he had seen before. The scientist went to his car. He lay the two big bags in the trunk of the black Mercedes. Without looking back at the villa, he got in his car and drove away.
*
Mom will be nicer
I'll be so much better, I'll tell my brother
Oh, I won't spill the milk at dinner
I'll be so much better, I'll do everything right
I'll be your little girl forever
I'll go to sleep at night
*
Lucas went back to his bed. The tears were still running down his face. He had always wished that his parents would stop fighting. But he hadn't wanted this solution. The blond boy tried to tell himself that this was the best for all of them. Just like his mother had told him. This was for the best, and now his parents wouldn't argue anymore. This solution was the best for all of them.
*
Daddy don't leave. Daddy don't leave
*
Lucas buried his face in his teddy bear. Maybe he could really believe that one day, he just had to tell it himself, over and over again. Maybe he could believe that this was the best for all of them and that he had always wished it. He just had to tell it often enough to himself...
THE END
Written July 2003/ Transleted January 2004