My first outtake from The Forces that Break and Bind. You voted and now I shall deliver.

And just so you know. I doubt any of these will be very long.

So, without further ado, here is my attempt at humor.

Outtake 1 - Remember the Parking Break

EPOV

Sometimes I worry about myself.

Here I was in my garage running my hands over the sleek black paint of my brand new car. The very car I had been saving up for over the better part of the last decade. The Aston Martin Vanquish.

But it was just so pretty.

All smooth lines, shiny paint, and raw power. I had been waiting for this for years.

Just last night I had finally took this beauty home from the dealership. Unfortunately, I hadn't been able to take her out last night because I had to be at an intelligence briefing bright and early this morning. I didn't think saying that I had been out all night playing with my new toy would have gone over well when I feel asleep at the table.

So, like a good little soldier, I took my car home, put her in the garage and went to bed.

I had considered taking her to work this morning, but the last thing I needed in my pre-caffeine haze was gate security hitting me with a random inspection because they wanted a closer look at my car. I'd seen it happen before when Jasper splurged on his Porsche. He still has never taken to base since then.

So, I buried my disappointment at having to wait and took the Volvo.

On the bright side, after the meeting the guys and I decided to head down to the lake about an hour away for some good old-fashion guy time. The kind that didn't involve guns and blood.

One hour on twisting little two lane roads. Perfect.

I finally climbed into my car and started the engine. I may have shuddered.

Once I escaped the city and hit the open roads I opened her up. I smiled as I experience the feeling that only a vehicle of this caliber could provide.

I glanced up in my rearview mirror and realized that my eyes may have looked a bit too bright.

Maybe Em was right. I really did need to get laid.

I brushed off the thought and spent the rest of the trip calmly enjoying my ride. Well, mostly calm.

As I arrived at the lake, I parked behind Emmett's jeep and climbed out. I swear I didn't kiss the steering wheel.

"Man you finally got it!"

Emmett was running up to me at full speed while Jasper tagged along leisurely behind him.

I smiled like an idiot. Yup, I got my car.

A few of the other guys in our unit joined us as we popped the hood and discussed the various attributes of my beauty.

When we were heading back to the picnic area where beer and steaks awaited, I walked backwards a few steps just admire the way the sunlight hit her.

It was about fifteen minutes later, when we were all sitting around eating and chatting, that Emmett's eyes bugged out of his head.

"What's up with you?" I asked.

Emmett looked over at me. I couldn't tell if he was about to laugh or scream in pain. "Parking breaks are your friend, man."

It took a second for his words to sink in before I spun around and watched an horror.

My beautiful car had just finished its decent down the hill and now was splashing in to the lake.

I could only look on in horror as the water bubbled up around the rapidly sinking car. My wonderful, shiny, powerful, new car.

"Dude! You vanquished the Vanquish!"

At Emmett's outburst I turned around to glare at him.

Maybe it wasn't too late to swim down and stuff him in the trunk.