"You're doing what?" Karma asked her jaw dropping open and practically hitting the floor.
"I'm going on a date" Amy said frowning at her best friend.
"Please stop making that face it's not that much of a big deal"
"Um yeah" Karma said evidently "It kind of is"
Amy sighed and continued looking through her closet for something to wear.
"Well I can't keep moping around after you forever" she admitted and tried to ignore the twang of her heart as those words left her mouth. Behind her Karma remained silent and eventually Amy turned around to see if she was planning on replying.
"I don't mind the moping" Karma said and gave a small shrug when she saw Amy looking straight at her.
"I do" Amy said holding a cream coloured jumper up to the shiny black jeans she was wearing and looking in the mirror.
"It's pathetic" she added.
"Amy it's not pathetic" Karma said picking at the blanket on Amy's bed.
"You can't help who you love"
"Except Liam" Amy smirked pulling her top off and changing into a dark green tank before pulling the cream jumper over the top, completely unaware of Karma's roaming eyes, grazing over her temporarily bare stomach.
"You're practically forcing him to love you"
"I'm not" Karma tried to argue but Amy just shot her a look.
"Okay" she said "How do I look?"
Karma wanted to say awful, she wanted to say anything that would make Amy not go on this date. She didn't understand why suddenly she felt so protective of her friend, it was a good thing that Amy had admitted her feelings and had chosen to move on right? Well, no. Karma wasn't sure how much she liked that idea.
"You look good" Karma said nodding her head "Are you sure you want to do this? I mean do you even know this girl?"
"Isn't that sort of what dating is for?" Amy laughed and Karma just furrowed her brow in frustration.
"I've got to go" Amy said with a nervous smile "Um, I'll call you when I get home yeah?"
"Okay" Karma said and got up to hug Amy goodbye but she had already disappeared out of her room. Karma sat back down on Amy's bed and let out a deep sigh, falling back onto her pillows she stared up at the glow in the dark stars on the ceiling that she and Amy had spent most of the weekend trying to put back in the exact same places that she had them in her old room.
She wished she didn't feel so shitty about her best friend going on a date, I mean she should be happy for her, but she just wasn't. She wanted to keep Amy all to herself, they should be under a pillow fort with snacks and a movie right about now.
Karma didn't want to go home, what was she going to do at home that was possibly going to distract her from the fact Amy was off with some girl she barely knew? Karma groaned and pulled one of Amy's pillows over her face, immediately being greeted with the sweet smell of Amy.
With her eyes closed she tried to picture the girl that Amy was out with, was she blonde? or did she have dark hair? or red hair? or weird green hair? Did she look like Karma? was she taller than Amy? Did she play sports? Did she go to parties every Friday night?
"Fuck" Karma groaned throwing the pillow aside and sitting up. Whoever this girl was she didn't have a piece on what Karma knew about Amy. Karma knew everything, literally everything about Amy. She had to be better than whoever this girl was, right? But what if she wasn't? She dreaded the idea of Amy coming home ready to gush about how perfect this girl had been and how well they had gotten along. She didn't know what would happen if suddenly she wasn't the most important person in Amy's life anymore and that feeling scared her. Amy was hers. She didn't want anyone else knowing all her quirks and secrets, that was Karma's job and it had been since kindergarten.
Drumming her fingers anxiously on her leg she leapt up. Jealousy. This was jealousy. She had looked straight into the eyes of the green monster and had been unfortunately consumed by it.
"Okay" she muttered to herself pacing around Amy's noticeably smaller new room.
"Distract yourself Karma" she said and started poking around Amy's stuff picking up a tray of nail polish and deciding to paint her nails. Black she decided. Black was an angry colour, it was a bold, protective kind of colour. She painted her nails and then glanced at the clock as she flapped her hands around waiting for her nails to dry.
It had barely been over an hour. This was ridiculous. She stared at the framed photos Amy had of the two of them scattered around various table tops in her room. They had millions of photos together from their childhood, millions of memories and moments they would never forget. None that any new person in Amy's life would ever have the slightest chance of understanding about.
Once her nails had dried she pulled open Amy's closet doors and folded her arms in contemplation as she looked at all her friends clothes. She dug towards the back of the closet and pulled out a short black dress that she had never once seen Amy wear. She hung the dress on the outside of the closet and pulled her phone out to check the time and saw a message from Liam.
What are you up to?
He asked and Karma just groaned slipping her phone back into her pocket, she didn't want to reply to Liam, in fact at that moment she didn't even know what she saw in him. He didn't even know anything about her, and what he thought he did know wasn't even true. All she wanted was Amy.
Eyeing up the black dress for several seconds she eventually gave in and slipped it on, doing a twirl in front of the mirror before collapsing back down on Amy's bed, letting her cloud thoughts consume her. What if she had made a horrible mistake in telling Amy that she didn't feel the same way. What if she had completely lost her chance. She didn't understand what these feelings were she was having about Amy tonight but she knew that she'd never had them before. Everything had been so simple between them before they had started pretending they were girlfriends, and now everything seemed to be a mess and only getting messier. This wasn't just a platonic protectiveness she was feeling towards Amy, this was definitely something else. But it wasn't the same as how she felt about Liam, it wasn't a flirty, giggly excitedness, it was something else, something much stronger and that terrified her.
"Um…Karma" a voice filled Karma's ears and something nudged her side gently. She let out a soft groan and rolled over onto her back, her eyes opening sleepily she realised that she had fallen asleep in Amy's room.
Amy stood beside her bed with an eyebrow lifted in intense curiosity at what her best friend was still doing at her house, asleep on her bed.
"Oh god" Karma mumbled still half asleep but beginning to realise the situation, she ran a hand through her hair.
"What happened?" she asked and looked up at Amy who was trying to bite back a smile.
"Ohmygod did you have sex with her? What happened to your hair?" Karma asked suddenly looking at Amy properly and seeing she looked more dishevelled then when she had left.
"What happened here is a better question I think… is that my dress?" Amy let out a small laugh and folded her arms across her chest awaiting an answer.
"This" Karma said looking down at herself and realising she was still in Amy's black dress.
"This has no decent explanation" Karma admitted and looked up at Amy with a guilty grin.
"Well it looked like you had fun" Amy smirked sitting down on the bed next to her friend.
"Uh, no" Karma said honestly, knowing there was no way she was going to be able to handle another Amy date night ever again.
"Here's the thing" she said turning herself to face Amy.
"You're not allowed to date"
"What?" Amy asked confused.
"You can't go on dates, like ever again" Karma said looking at Amy and nervously chewing on her cheek.
"You're not making any sense" Amy said a crease denting her perfectly smooth forehead.
"Aren't you just supposed to ask me how my date went and like…giggle with me about the details or something?"
"No" Karma shook her head "Absolutely not, I can't do that"
Amy stared at her blankly.
"Are you okay?"
Karma exhaled loudly and looked up at the stars on the ceiling. Why had she opened her mouth. The way Amy was looking at her was not good, it was the borderline frustrated angry look that she wore before she started getting pissed off.
"Karma, if you're not going to let me date what am I supposed to do?" Amy said her eyes staring directly into Karma's demanding some kind of explanation.
"You stay here with me under a pile of blankets and binge watch Netflix shows with me" Karma said softly and let her eyes drop down to her hands which were tucked in her lap.
"How is that going to help me move on, Kar?" Amy said her voice softening as she tilted her head looking at her best friend curiously.
"It's not" Karma admitted.
"Then what Karma? What do you want?" Amy asked and Karma could hear the frustration behind the soft tone she was using.
"I want you all to myself" Karma said and glanced up at Amy's light eyes that changed colour like the ocean.
"But you said- "
"I know what I said" Karma cut her off staring at her suddenly unable to take her eyes off that beautiful face.
"But maybe I was wrong"
Amy lifted her eyebrows looking at Karma through her thick eyelashes with a confused pout on her face.
"What I felt tonight…I think it's something along the lines of what you felt when I was with Liam" Karma tried to explain.
"And I never want to feel that ever again because it sucked, so much"
She could see Amy processing what she was saying and she could see the tiny hint of a smile trying to tug at the corners of her mouth.
"I like it when it's just the two of us, we're good without other people" Karma said looking down at Amy's hands and daring herself to reach over.
"It's been you and me since kindergarten and I don't think I'll ever be ready to see you with someone else after what's happened this year"
"What are you saying" Amy said quietly her voice was thick.
"I like holding your hand at school" Karma said with a small smile as she reached over and slipped her hand into Amy's.
"And I like kissing you and spending Friday nights avoiding parties because you'd prefer to be home, and I've lived without peanut butter for so long now that's not even a problem anymore" Karma laughed nervously and Amy stared at her cutely before lowering her eyes to their entwined hands and then looking back up at her nervous best friend. Amy leaned in not knowing what else could possibly follow what Karma had just said and so she kissed her, once, lightly. Then she pulled back so their noses were still touching and she looked into Karma's hazel eyes seeing the same sparkle that she knew was in her own eyes. Leaning back in she kissed Karma again slipping her arms around her waist and pulling her closer. Karma melted into Amy's arms a feeling of solace and comfort filling her as she realised this is exactly what she wanted. The touch of Amy's velvety lips against her own, the sweet taste of her tongue as it danced it's way into her mouth, the warmth of her hands around her waist.
"I kinda like that you were jealous" Amy mumbled against Karma's lips and Karma slipped a finger under Amy's bra strap pulling it out and letting it snap back against her skin as revenge for that comment.
"Ouch" Amy squeaked and Karma smirked in satisfaction. But suddenly Amy was pushing them both down onto the bed and stretching herself out comfortably on top of her Karma, letting her fingers run gently through her dark hair as she continued to kiss her lovingly. Karma wrapped her arms around Amy and tried not to smile widely against the feathery touch of her lips.
"You and me?" Amy asked lifting her head a little leaving their noses touching still, her voice was slightly breathless.
"You and me" Karma confirmed with a beaming smile.