(movie-verse ; What was really behind the knowing smile that Susan gave Caspian at the end of the movie.. and why were the subsequent kings not named Caspian after their father?? This is what I think the reasons are.
(Part one is told from Susan's perspective and is in the first person.)
(I hope you like it.. this is my first foray into the realm of Narnia fiction)
Peter, Edmund Lucy and I returned to the train station where we'd been standing. Narnia was gone and there was nothing left but us and our things, ready to board for school.
Lucy looked around as if to ask where it had all gone. Ed seemed in a dull depression and Peter, well, he was the same as before. a King with no country. He looked lost. Me, I felt odd to say the least. There was no way I could tell my brothers and sister what I'd done. There would be no forgiving of it. But I'd done it as Queen Susan, not plain old Susan Pevensie. There was no going back. My only hope was that it didn't lead to anything that would be difficult to explain to my parents.
The boy I'd spoken to earlier, before Narnia, beckoned me onto the train. I smiled as I picked up my bags and stepped aboard. He'd be the perfect explaination if things went... awry for me. So I chatted him up.
The train ride was uneventful. The boy, whose name was Ashley would have been a very nice boy if he hadn't been so... odd. He wasn't like the young men I thought myself attracted to, but it was all for the greater good, should the subject arise later. And... it did.
I sat on my bed, feeling ill. School had been in session for just over three weeks and I'd not gotten my... visitor. My room mates all said I should go see the nurse or better yet a real doctor. I bit my lip and said nothing.
The next day I told Ashley about my predicament. He was shocked but I assured him that It hadn't been my intention to end up this way.. The heat of battle was something of a mystery, it lead to feeling that one didn't normally have toward another individual. Luckily he didn't ask about my using the word battle, for which I was grateful. He did, however ask me the name of the "individual" that had gotten me into my current mess. I lied to him and told him I didn't know his real name, he told me it was Benjamin, but I didn't believe him. Ashley told me something then that shocked me.
"I'll tell everyone it's mine." He said. "I'll tell them it's mine and you'll go stay at my house when the time comes and afterward we'll live together and raise the baby as if it were mine all along. Susan, you're a great friend and I care about you. I'd never see you be thrown out of school for something as trivial as a one night fling."
I started to cry. I imagine he thought it was because of the tender words he'd just said, but in truth I was weeping for the real father. A King who would never know his oldest child. I wept for Caspian.
Another week went by and Mother and Father came to the school to get me. Assembled in front of my family I again lied and told them that Ashley was the father of my as yet unborn child. Mother cried and father was stern and quiet, which meant he was angry. Ashley's parents arrived the next afternoon to give him a tough scolding but he remained in school. I, however was taken straight home and arrangements were made for the baby's adoption. I was aghast.
"No!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. "I'll have no stranger raise my child. This is MY baby, not yours!" I must have sounded terrible because I heard my mother crying some time later from her room.
Christmas break arrived and with it brought Peter, Edmund and Lucy. All of them knew, or had done the math and figured it out. Peter came into my room where I lay with my head on a pillow reading a book. His one word sent me into tears. "Caspian's." I nodded and turned over onto my side. My rounded belly revealing what one night's indiscretion had done. Peter must have seen this as confirmation because when I turned back around he was gone. Of all my siblings it was Edmund who spoke to me most over the holiday. He and I would sit and talk for hours until Mum and dad told us to go to bed. I had decided that night that I really was going to keep this baby. Whether or not Ashley would help me like he said or not, I was going to do this. I was determined.
I woke up on Christmas morning to a knock on my bedroom door. "Go away Lucy, it's too early." I groaned as I rolled onto my back from sleeping.
"It isn't Lucy and It's nearly noon." came Ashley's voice from the other side. I sat bolt upright in my bed. How on earth did he get past my folks?! I flung the door open and there he was. Ashley stood before me, smiling. "We still on?" he asked me in a whisper. I nodded, thankful that he was there. He took my hand and led me downstairs where his family was sitting with mine chatting. It was an odd sight. Two families who knew nothing about each other were chatting as if they'd known one another for years. Honestly I couldn't see then how grownups did it. Of course I understand now.
It had been decided, unbeknownst to me, that after term ended, Ashley and I would get married. Our mother's admitted that we were both a bit young but this child needed married parents. I felt bad for Ashely as I thought of the possibility of some poor girl out there whom he was meant for and she being left alone in the world because of my stupid mistake. Susan the Gentle indeed.
Holiday break was over and I tearfully said goodbye to my brothers and sister as they headed off back to school. I was told by my mother that as punishment for my misdeed, I would be going to a public school the next year after the baby was born. Ashely and I would live near Finchley and we'd be left on our own. I guess it was mum's way of teaching me a lesson, forcing me to be on my own. If only she knew how alone I really was.
The months became warmer and my middle became much larger. I had already decided that if it were a boy I'd call him Caspian. Were it a girl I thought about the name Beverly.. it means 'Beaver field" which I thought was appropriate concerning where the child is from and all. Of course I told nothing of this to Ashley. He thinks I made up Caspian and Beverly just "sounded pretty" to me. Naturally, Peter, Edmund and Lucy all know the real reason, but they're not telling anyone around here.
I sigh as I look out the window of my new home. A small flat in Finchley just outside of town. Far enough from home that I feel like I'm actually on my own but close enough that Mum can coem help me in the dead of night should I need her. Ashley is coming home soon, term is ending in three or so weeks. I feel badly for him, having to raise a child not his own. But he insists that it doesn't bother him.
Oh, it was terrible. The pain and the way the room seemed to swirl about me. The way I felt like things were out of control... and then I held him. Caspian Peter Johns... Ashely's last name by the way. My family came by to see me and the baby and to shake hands with Ashley. Poor fellow, I think I may have squeezed his hand a bit too tightly during the process, but it doesn't look too serious. I guess this was what Aslan mean when he told me things would change for me and I'd never be able to come back.. I was a mum now and as such I could never go back to Narnia... Narnia was my childhood and that time of my life was passed. I was a grownup.