Just Another Day - Chapter 2
Author: Eclypse
Summary: Just what is it that Major Lorne does in Atlantis while Col. Sheppard and his team are off getting themselves into trouble? The back story continues and a relationship develops ... Lorne just isn't exactly sure what that relationship is. (Lorne/Parrish)
Author's Notes: VERY special thanks to Lady Taevyn for the beta and for her encouragement and insight!!
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"Good morning, Major. How are you feeling?" Doctor Beckett's Scottish brogue permeated the haze of Lorne's consciousness.
"Hey buddy, welcome back." Colonel Sheppard's relaxed drawl chimed in.
He opened his eyes slowly against the bright lights of a room he realized must be the infirmary. His head hurt terribly. "What…?" He tried to speak but found his mouth to be terribly dry and only a rough gargle emanated from his throat.
"Easy now lad. You've lost a lot of blood but we're getting you fixed up. Everything's going to be okay."
Something about those words were strangely familiar … "David!" The word burst from his mouth even as his body tried to burst from the little hospital bed. He felt a sharp, burning pain sear across his lower back.
"Whoa there, son," Beckett and Sheppard had each taken a hold of one of his arms. "Dr. Parrish is fine. So is Dr. Crawford. Lt. Reed is a bit banged up, but he's going to be okay too. You need to lie back and rest now."
The haze was clearing now and slowly it dawned on him that Beckett must have taken him to surgery. Belatedly, he realized how David must have felt after being intubated. It wasn't pleasant. He could understand now why he had been so thirsty. He accepted the doctor's assistance to lie back down.
"Reed's okay?" The rest of Beckett's words had just sunk in.
"Yes, Major," the doctor replied as he turned to pour a glass of water, cold water, with a straw, and offered it to Lorne who took it gratefully. "Ack. Little sips!" Beckett abruptly pulled the glass away and gave him a stern look. But damn it, he was thirsty. He rolled his eyes but only after he nodded agreement did Beckett return the water although a cautioning glare persisted. The doctor reached over to adjust something on one of the IV lines as he continued. "The rescue team that went to retrieve Dr. Crawford found him not far off. A bit of a concussion but he should come around just fine."
"Coughlin?" Lorne looked hopefully to Sheppard who only shook his head in reply. He sighed in disappointment. Still, that was at least one less casualty than he had believed.
"Can you tell me what happened out there, buddy?"
Lorne understood the implied meaning of Sheppard's question. If David ... If the others were okay as Beckett as had just said, they would have already given him a synopsis of the basics. The real question now was, why? That planet was uninhabited. There was no reason for the Wraith to be there unless they had been tipped off to the survey party's presence. And even so, why send so many darts? Hell, why send darts at all? A small patrol of Wraith warriors on foot could have easily killed or captured five relatively lightly armed people. So why just turn around and let them go? No. The more Lorne thought about it, the more he realized something else was going on. He just had no idea what it was.
"Wraith darts, sir." The water had helped immensely but his throat was still scratchy. "Five of them that I saw but it seemed like there might have been more. Sir, I don't think they were there for us. I think maybe we were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. They impressed me more as hunting for something … and with a vengeance too. Something way more important than us." As he drew his hand up to massage his neck, the realization of what he had just said struck him. By the look on Sheppard's face, the same thought was crossing his CO's mind as well. They were hunting for something. "Ford!" Both officers exclaimed in unison.
"Damn it!" Sheppard slammed his fist hard against the side rail making Lorne wince, his throbbing head quickly reestablishing precedence over his sore throat. "Any sign that he was there?"
The faint discolorations still present on Sheppard's arm and hand reminded Lorne that the 'de-conversion' process was not yet fully completed and that his CO had not yet entirely regained his usual composure. He ignored the outburst. "Didn't see anything, sir. And frankly, the area wasn't particularly defensible. If he had been there, I suspect he abandoned it for a better location."
"You're probably right." Sheppard was clearly frustrated as he continued to absently bang his fist on the rail of the bed. The preoccupation wasn't doing much for Lorne's headache and he shut his eyes tightly trying to block out the vibrations. "We must have just missed him." The pounding stopped abruptly. Fortunately it was just before Lorne felt the need, superhuman strength be damned, to reach out and break Sheppard's arm. "Well, sounds like you did one hell of a job back on that planet." Lorne's eyes flew open on that comment. "Good to have you back, Major." His superior smiled and saluted him in that Sheppard-casual kind of way as he departed leaving only the doctor in the room.
'Did one hell of a job?' He didn't do anything! What the hell had David told him?
"Okay now Major, I need to take a wee peak at my handiwork." The doctor helped him to turn carefully to his side. "Have to say, for no training Dr. Parrish certainly did a bang up job as a field medic. Not much to work with either." Damn straight, Lorne thought, he's the one that did 'one hell of a job.' "There was a good sized bleeder in there and definitely an awkward spot to reach by yourself. I dare say you might well have bled out without that pressure dressing. Nicely absorbent. Without a doubt, one of the more inventive solutions I've come across." The doctor continued his somewhat one sided conversation as he worked and Lorne realized this must be what bedside manner was really all about – distracting your patient. "Granted it took a while to pick out all the little pieces of mold but surprisingly, it was a very clean sample. May well have prevented a nasty bit o'septicemia from setting in too. Guess we all too easily forget our roots sometimes, eh?"
The doctor chuckled at his own little joke as he replaced the dressing then gently helped Lorne roll onto his back before providing him with some more desperately desired water. He finished jotting down his notations on the chart, pointed out the little button for the pain medication, the PCA he called it (sweet!), and assured him he would be back to check on him again shortly. But Lorne was already lost in other thoughts. The morphine was working well enough now, at least as well as that stuff David had given him, so the movement and prodding didn't bother him too much. He was warm enough, and comfortable, yet he couldn't help feeling there was something missing. In the stillness of the room, it dawned on him that the 'something' was the peace the rhythm of David's breathing had given him back on the planet. Like floating on gentle ocean waves. He tried to shake it off to the drugs, the adrenalin and the whole 'almost dying' thing but that instinctive little part of his brain resurfaced and cloudy as it was, refused to let it go. He couldn't remember the last time he had felt that content, that … safe.
As if his thoughts alone had conjured the man, he looked up to find David peering in from the doorway. He could see the lines of worry easing from his face, replaced by the shy smile that Lorne was somehow not surprised to find was far more effective in allaying his discomfort than any medications. He wanted to say something, he had a million questions he wanted to ask, but nothing came out. Just a contented sigh as the placidity of sleep washed over him; the other man's presence alone providing exactly what he felt had been lacking a moment before.
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Col. Sheppard, Dr. Weir and Laura Cadman all stopped by the infirmary several times during the ensuing week. David however had not returned. Lorne couldn't figure out why this bothered him so much other than he expected his friend to have at least checked up on him. After all, he had sat by him through his ordeal. But then Lorne reminded himself that he was the team leader, it was his responsibility to do that and David didn't owe him anything for it in return. Of course there was also the little fact that David never actually knew he had been there either.
He considered that maybe the entire experience had been far more traumatic for the botanist than he had thought, especially since it had fallen to him to get them both back alive. In all fairness, it was his job to protect the science staff, not theirjob to drag his sorry ass home. Really, when he thought hard about it, David had every right to never trust in him again. And that was another thought he found profoundly disturbing. Fortunately, Cadman kept him unwittingly distracted with progress reports from Sheppard regarding some derelict Ancient warship that Dr. McKay had discovered. The circumstances surrounding the loss of that ship and her tragically ill-fated crew somehow belittled any of his own personal concerns.
Having finally convinced Beckett this morning that if he really wanted him to get some rest it would be best to let him return to his own quarters to do it, Lorne was relieved to throw on some old sweats and collapse contently onto his own bed ... if you could call it a bed, really more of a cot. For the life of him he couldn't figure out how the Lanteans ever managed to make more Lanteans on these narrow little things but he supposed that was hardly the point right now. After the infirmary, it was a small bit of heaven in a peace and quiet that was nothing short of downright luxurious.
He slept most of the afternoon awakened only by the door chime early in the evening. He was completely taken aback when David stepped cheerfully into his little room carrying a tray of food from the mess. "You know Major, for some reason we seem to be getting this far more often than we used to." His eyes held a rather mischievous twinkle as he indicated the large bowl of orange jell-o on the tray and Lorne felt just a touch embarrassed about having abused his position overseeing the supply requisitions to make sure it would be a regular staple on the Atlantis menu … he just hoped no one else had noticed. Regardless, he felt an overwhelming relief that David wasn't holding anything against him after all. Maybe it was just that after all the times he had landed there himself, the botanist was simply uncomfortable around the infirmary and all that medical stuff. Yeah, that made sense. Refreshed from his nap, Lorne turned his attention to the tray.
He hadn't realized how hungry he really was until he started to eat, nor did he realize until he was more than half done how the tray contained a generous variety of all the things he tended to like best and none of the things he would have avoided himself. If was almost as if his friend had actually been paying attention to what he ate or something.
Dinner had come complete with a backgammon board and David busied himself setting up the game on the pseudo-bed/cot-whatever thing as he finished eating at his desk. He was nearly done when the door chimed again.
"Don't move, I got it," David enthusiastically sprang up to answer before Lorne could explain that it wasn't necessary. That he could open the door from here. Damn, where did he get all that energy from anyway?
"Ah, Dr. Parrish. Come to check on your patient too I see?" Doctor Beckett whisked into the small room and directly over to where Lorne was sitting. "Dr. Seifert is trying to put together a short field medic course," he continued to address David over his shoulder as he set up his equipment. "You might want to consider attending. Better yet," he checked himself, "perhaps you could offer to help her teach it!"
The doctor was evaluating Lorne at the time and so missed David's reserved but appreciative smile at the well deserved compliment. Lorne caught it though and couldn't help but smile privately in response.
"Now then Major, I need to take a quick look here and change the dressing." Beckett stopped his work and nodded questioningly, implying David's presence.
"It's okay, doc. Go ahead." Hell, David had dressed the wound in the first place, Lorne saw no reason he should be bashful about it now. Then he reconsidered his earlier rationale about David's possible discomfort with this kind of thing. He stopped Beckett with one hand and looked over to his friend. "You okay with this?" David nodded as if wondering why he wouldn't be and crept forward to observe over the doctor's shoulder when he lifted the bottom of Lorne's t-shirt to access the bandage. Okay, so much for that theory.
"Very good." The doctor sounded satisfied, unaware as to Lorne's observations. "Healing nicely, minimal inflammation, no sign of infection." David smiled and nodded his head in satisfaction as well while Beckett placed a clean, fresh dressing over the wound area. "What's your pain level?"
"Really not bad doc. More of a constant dull muscle ache."
"Num-ber?" The doctor's heavy Scottish accent dragged out the word.
Lorne sighed. "Two, maybe three." Okay, after all the time he spent in infirmaries, he should have known better than to use a description rather than their little 1-10 number system. They were really weird about that.
"Very good then. Continue your antibiotics, take the analgesics as you see fit, get some rest and …" he glanced down at Lorne's almost completed dinner. "Nice. Well balanced. Perhaps you could teach the rest of your command a thing or two about good nutrition." Lorne noticed David trying to restrain another small smile and he tried, he really did, to explain who had actually prepared the tray. But Beckett had already gathered his things and was sweeping out the door in the same manner he had entered. "If you would Major, please stop by the infirmary tomorrow morning so I can change the bandage one last time." And he was gone. Lorne wondered if there was ever a hurricane named 'Carson'?
He turned apologetically back to David but the botanist had already resettled himself cross legged at the foot of the bed and was waiting patiently to make the opening move.
"How come you get to go first?" He finished up the last few bites of his dinner, grabbed the bowl of the jell-o and walked over to join him.
"I brought the food."
Okay, if there actually was any logic in there, it completely escaped Lorne. Nevertheless, he sat down gingerly and dug into the jell-o as David tossed the dice. The other man said nothing. Honestly, he never even so much as looked up. But for some reason, by the third bite Lorne found himself inexplicably passing the bowl over to his friend who happily finished the contents as if he had been expecting this all along. Lorne just shook his head, no less confused than he had been a moment before. Must be the drugs.
They settled in to a familiar, companionable silence and a nice relaxing game. Okay, maybe not so relaxing since he was losing again. He had just rolled a six and a two and was intently trying to figure out how to make that work since he really needed an odd number here.
"Evan," David broke the quiet, then paused a moment as if uncertain he should continue. "I wanted to thank you. For what you did back on that planet."
Lorne looked up to find that 'unworthy' looking expression once again painting his friend's face. The game disappeared from his mind. "I didn't exactly do much of anything. Really, I'm the one that owes you the thanks. According to Beckett, you saved my life."
"If you hadn't been trying to protect me, you wouldn't have been injured in the first place. I just … well, no one ever …" The door chime interrupted David's words but the distraught look on his face had already cut Lorne to the core. A second chime forced a premature end to the conversation as he thought the door open from where he sat. This time it was Laura Cadman who entered with apparently similar ideas as David.
"Hey Major, how ya doing? Broughtcha something to eat from the mess. Hi doc." She didn't seem at all surprised to find the botanist there but was clearly as dumbstruck as Lorne when he packed up everything mid-game and took off with the rather lame yet omnipurpose geek excuse of having forgotten to check on something in his lab.
"Just exactly what is a plant going to do that requires supervision?" She countered as David made an uncharacteristically silent and hasty exit. "Wow, what the hell was thatall about? First he's skulking around outside the infirmary all week trying to look inconspicuous, he's not very good at it by the way, and now he's running out the door. Seems a bit unstable if you ask me. You sure it's a good idea to let him off world?"
David had been outside the infirmary the whole time? Why didn't he come in? Cadman didn't notice Lorne's reaction to this. She had just reached the desk and was placing the tray she was carrying down next to the one he had already finished.
"Hmmn, guess you're probably not still hungry?" Without waiting for an answer she removed the cover from one of the plates she had brought and began munching on some fries. He was secretly glad that Beckett had not seen the contents of that tray. Meandering back, she casually discounted her own statement. "Guess he knows no one else'll go off world with him and felt he'd best keep an eye on his only ticket to research the botanical wonders of the Pegasus galaxy." She was laughing … Lorne was not.
Was that what this was about? David didn't think anyone else would go off world with him? That was ridiculous. Sheppard would never stand for that. Then he looked over at Cadman. Lieutenant Cadman. He sighed. Of course. The botanist had seemed perfectly comfortable when Beckett was there.
While Lorne knew that Cadman's impatience was universal and had nothing to do with his friend specifically, he couldn't deny that there had been others that hadn't exactly been kind to the man either. That some of the military might be uncomfortable with David was one thing. Orders would override that. Until now though it had never occurred to him that maybe David might be uncomfortable with the military. What was it his friend had started to say? 'No one ever...' Even after having put an end to all the little jokes, was it possible David now felt no one else would really protect him? Lorne felt simultaneously honored and concerned. This was something he would need to address.
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Lorne felt a weight almost as great as the ship itself lift from his shoulders when the Daedalus finally departed from its extended stay a few days later. He had no doubt this was only because Col. Caldwell could no longer justify to the SCG his concerns that Col. Sheppard might yet experience some insectoid side effects from his latest Iratus encounter or that either the CO or XO were not fully competent. While he certainly respected the Colonel's station, Lorne was not unhappy to see Caldwell leave. The friction between he and Sheppard had been palpable and he really hated being stuck in the middle of it.
Still confined to light duty, he turned his attention toward tackling the stack of mind bogglingly boring paperwork sitting on his desk while he waited for off world clearance. He was halfway through an ordinance requisition form, damn Sheppard went through a lot of ammunition, when David literally bounded into his office. His first reaction was that they must be under attack because David had never come to his office before. He wasn't sure if he should consider the real reason any less catastrophic when he heard it though. After suggesting Lorne's office needed a plant, it turned out his friend was simply curious as to what was going to be expected of him as an 'official' team member.
Team member? Lorne felt certain this was somehow the result of Cadman trying to be 'helpful' again, an incredibly scary thought in and of itself, but worse when it involved him. He sighed but accepted his new team member as a given. What else could he do? After her comment in his quarters and David's odd behavior, he wasn't comfortable assigning anyone else to go with the botanist now anyway and this would certainly solve that problem. David however seemed thrilled with the new prospect. Lorne shook his head. What wasn't David ever thrilled with? He didn't think he had ever met anyone with such a good natured outlook on life or who could put such positive spin on damn near anything.
Per protocol, he informed his CO of the change in status. He was surprised when Sheppard, as laid back as he usually was regarding most everything on this base, raised an inquiring eyebrow at his choice; that was presuming he could really call it a 'choice'. The Colonel had never impressed him as the type that would ever judge anyone on anything less than their abilities or potential. Then he realized the uncharacteristically pointed response wasn't regarding the man but the disciple. And granted, botany wasn't exactly a field one thought of as essential to a first contact team. But in the botanist's defense, it actually did make better sense than having someone like McKay. The vast majority of cultures they encountered were more on an agrarian level of development rather than in possession of any high degrees of technology. The Wraith having seen all too efficiently to that. So having an exuberantly cheerful botanist around to make nice with the farmers by pointing out simple things they might do to dramatically increase their food production could, and in fact did, turn out to be a huge bonus in negotiations. Similarly, David could continue his research in the process. Besides, in Lorne's book it was considerably easier to deal with David's sometimes annoying over-optimism than McKay's always annoying complete lackof it. It didn't hurt that his new teammate wasn't deathly allergic to just about everything in two galaxies either. And if he were to be really honest here, Ancient technology gave him a headache anyway.
With yet another deep sigh though, Lorne faced one inevitable fact. If he had learned nothing else during his time at the SGC, it was that it wasn't fair to either David or the rest of the team to take a civilian out on any kind of real mission without at least some knowledge as to how to defend himself and cope with adverse situations. It was also possible that a bit of training might help alleviate at least some of the other issues as well. He kicked himself. Really, he should have thought of this himself.
Thankful for any excuse to get out of his office, even a Cadman generated one, he scheduled time in the gym to introduce the decidedly non-military botanist to some basic hand to hand skills. Not yet medically cleared for such activity himself, Lorne sought out Teyla's assistance for this task feeling the Athosian woman might put him more at ease than any of the military personnel as well as provide a good example of how size was no indication of proficiency.
He watched as Teyla patiently taught David how to use his opponent's weight and momentum to his own advantage. The botanist was understandably clumsy at first, almost amusingly so, though Lorne was very careful to not show any such affect outwardly. Amusement however shifted quickly to concern when Teyla in turn recruited Ronon. It had been months since he had to cart David to the infirmary and he wasn't relishing the idea of returning to that routine again. But the giant Satedan turned out to be both amazingly gentle and accepting of allowing himself to be grasped and thrown to the floor multiple times. Lorne had to admit, while there was absolutely no way that David could ever take Ronon in a real fight, it did instill a great deal of confidence in him to find that it actually was possible to manipulate the huge man's larger bulk using Teyla's methods. It would clearly take some time, a lot of time, but he was at least getting the idea and Lorne was sincerely grateful to both Teyla and Ronon for their help.
He met Teyla's invitation that David 'rough it' for a few days with an Athosian hunting party on the mainland with similar amusement. But that too shifted quickly to concern when she clarified that Lorne himself was not invited. He didn't imagine that creature comforts would mean much to the botanist and expected instead that he would be nothing short of delighted to be sleeping in the middle of a dense forest. Still, this was David Parrish we were talking about here and so Lorne found suitable excuses to spend the time skulking around the jumper bay ostensibly performing maintenance checks while he waited for the inevitable 'accident' call. As it turned out, after identifying several plants that help preserve their kills, and spiced up dinner a bit too, the hunters had adopted the botanist as one of their own and were reluctant to give him up. Lorne shook his head. Only David.
Now, seeing his very academically oriented friend fitted in BDUs and a tac vest made for an image Lorne could not help but find openly amusing. In his experience, regardless of who you were BDUs only came in two sizes, too big or too small. He was certain the damn things didn't actually fit any living human being. As was the botanist's way though, he happily took it all in stride.
When Beckett finally cleared him and Reed for off world duty again, Lorne took the opportunity to test his little team out on several short follow-up missions to planets previously determined to be friendly. Not surprisingly, David's outgoing personality translated easily into good diplomatic skills, way better than his ever were, and things went smoothly enough that he felt more confident rotating back into first contact assignments. He scheduled a mission to the next planet in the Ancient database, a place called Jenev, next week.
The problem was that he was still one team member short. Admittedly far more preoccupied with his friend's comfort than he should be, he had reviewed a number of personnel files and was mulling over several potential candidates on his way over to the mess for dinner. When he arrived, he found David and several of his colleagues having a lively and somewhat animated conversation with one of the newer arrivals. It was a record he hadn't pulled yet and he had to think a moment to recall the man's name. Grant, Lieutenant Thomas Grant. No wait, Flying Officer Thomas Grant. He really needed to get used to all those different ranking systems.
Grant was a tall, somewhat gangly younger man in his mid 20's; a junior intelligence officer with the Royal Air Force. Blonde and blue eyed, Lorne thought he bore something of a passing resemblance to Prince William. Maybe a bit taller. But unfortunately lacking the grace, charm and charisma of the young Prince. Sort of as if he had gotten more of Charles's genes out of the deal. Withdrawn and somewhat uncertain of himself the one and only time Lorne had ever spoken with him, Grant now appeared quite at ease sitting among the group of botanists. More importantly though, David was clearly comfortable with him and well, sometimes finding a team that could work well together was more important than the proficiency of each individual. His choice made, Lorne decided if this went well he would schedule another movie night, welcome their new teammate and life could finally go on. He would figure out how to get even with Cadman later.
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And the mission did go well, sort of. Okay, maybe not great but at least it didn't go poorly. As he had reported to Dr. Weir, the people of Jenev were 'polite' and 'courteous' so really, he was very surprised when his hold card failed to play and despite David's best effort, the Jenevians graciously but curtly declined to have any further interaction with them whatsoever.
Being told that Col. Sheppard's team was overdue … again, however, was no surprise at all. So what else was new? The man never followed rules, even when he made them! Why did Weir think this was any different from the dozens of other times that team had 'gone missing'? He sighed. Probably because it wasn't any different. All those other times it turned out they really had managed to get themselves into some serious trouble. He should have known the lull wouldn't last. Back to bizarre and unimaginable disasters. He put Jenev out of his mind and despite having only just stepped back into the Gate room, turned right around and headed immediately back out again. So much for lunch.
Turned out dinner would be a bust too as he spent most of that trying to convince Weir of the logistical problems involved in checking the list of some fifty planets Zelenka had generated. He had already suspended all off world missions as well as reassigned all available teams to the search long before the expedition leader had even requested it. What exactly did she think he actually did around here anyway?
He shook off the feeling as she continued to talk of other things he had also already considered and mused briefly if perhaps Zelenka could come up with some Sheppard sensitive electronic device – a Sheppard shepherd? It could save huge amounts of time searching for the man if they had some way of knowing right at the Gate whether he had even set foot on any particular planet or not. He would have to check into that. As often as this happened, it certainly seemed like a worthwhile investment. He politely agreed with her one final time, despite not really having any idea what she had just said, and left to go coordinate the search effort.
Several days later, he found himself sitting in the horticulture nursery amidst a small jungle of exotic alien plants. Having exhausted the vast majority of his fifty option, he vented to David, in a somewhat more animated than normal fashion, how he was going to be doomed to remain in command here forever. His friend merely smiled, clearly restraining an amused chuckle at Lorne's expense as he listened to his frustrations. Just when he was ready to capitulate all hope of ever finding Sheppard or the rest of his team again though, he received a message that a mixed blessing in the form of Dr. McKay, hyped up as he was on that enzyme stuff, had just stumbled through the Gate. Lorne shuddered at the thought that the man could possibly be even more obnoxious but jumped immediately to head back to the command center. As he reached the door, he stopped and turned for just a moment to look at David. The botanist had already returned to calmly tending his plants and was unaware of his attention. It was honestly the first time Lorne had ever realized the affect David had on him. How much he appreciated, had taken for granted, having a friend to lean on and to listen to him at times like this. He really needed to do something about that.
He successfully dispelled the image of a highly irritated little Asgard engineer from his mind after the Daedalus, having pushed it to the max, returned nearly a week ahead of schedule. With the information McKay provided on recovering from his cold turkey detox experience Lorne was now at least able to present Caldwell with a rescue plan that was finally one step better than merely warning a planet's inhabitants of their impending demise. To his utmost surprise, the Colonel actually complimented him on his command of the situation and pretty much left that plan intact. Again, David simply smiled when Lorne shared this information, pointing out that his ideas were well thought out and why shouldCaldwell change them.
In his typical fashion however, Sheppard, miraculously alive and with the unexpected bonus of being unscathed for a change as well, managed to find his own way home. So much for best laid plans. The man was nothing if not tenacious and Lorne made a mental note to factor that in when making future plans. Notice - not if, when.
With the crisis du jour resolved, he made his way once more to the botany lab only to find that his own team had taken off just moments before he returned from retrieving his prodigal CO. Okay, so it was only back to Jenev and only to retrieve a scanner that Grant had inadvertently left behind. But still, without him? David had apparently convinced Weir to give him one more shot at trying to open a dialogue and had gone along too. Well, considering how resolute the people of Jenev had been regarding any further discourse with them, Lorne figured said item would be returned 'politely' and 'courteously' and the team sent immediately packing. They would be back in no time.
-----
Except that they weren't. Of course they weren't. This was Pegasus. According to Chuck, they had been gone over three hours now and had just missed theirscheduled check in.
Beckett's words from months before once again came back to haunt him. There are just some people you can't be too careful with. Lorne was suddenly overtaken by an unexpected, unexplained and very powerful surge of panic. A sick feeling gnawed at the pit of his stomach and the bitter taste of bile tingled in the back of his throat. Damn it, he should have checked on this immediately when he came back. Except he didn't know that David … that his team had even gone anywhere and who would have anticipated any problems with the Jenevians for god's sake. So this was really about as immediately as he could have found out. ... Right?
His scattered thoughts finally coalesced and he found the presence of mind to assemble an assault team. Okay, maybe not quite coalesced. He would get Sheppard's permission later. Considering his own team's experiences, he felt sure his CO would not question the possibility of trouble in even the most unlikely of forms. He needed a jumper next and turned to find Dr. Weir. Literally. She had just walked up behind him and, whether by the extremity of his intentions or the fact that he had just nearly plowed right into her, was more than a bit startled at his request. He found it extremely disconcerting to see her take that step back, cock her head and aim at himthat uncertain facial expression that she got whenever she was talking to someone she thought might possibly have been taken over by some alien influence. He could see now why it made Sheppard so edgy. The Colonel called it the 'Jooohn? Is that … yooou?' look and he nearly lost it when her first words were "Maaajor? Are you suuure?"
Seriously though, he didn't have time for this right now and was just about to say so when the Gate activation alarm sounded.
"Incoming wormhole," Chuck announced, and seconds later, "I'm reading Dr. Parrish's IDC."
"Drop the shield," Weir returned calmly, still eyeing Lorne with suspicion. Or maybe just due caution. It was hard to tell. That Chuck was looking a bit dubious too didn't help.
Lorne looked back sheepishly. Okay, maybe he did overreact just a little bit. He felt his heart rate and breathing return slowly to normal as his stomach started to settle.
The Colonel was just arriving on the lower level as David emerged from the event horizon pulling along an apparently unconscious Lt. Reed. That heart rate shot back up again as Lorne hit the stairs in a dead run reaching the Gate just as it closed. David was doing his best to set Reed down gently but was trembling from muscle fatigue and in danger of collapsing himself.
Sheppard relieved the botanist of the Lieutenant's weight while Lorne grasped his friend's shoulders from behind just in time to support him as he crumpled to the ground. The sick feeling in his stomach was now verging on full out nausea.
"David?" The botanist's color returned as he settled but Lorne maintained a solicitous arm around him regardless, kneeling beside him and preventing him from moving until he could better assess his condition.
"Yeah, I'm ... um. Just got a little dizzy there. I'm fine now." David looked at him questioningly when he did not move away. "Thank you, Major." The use of his formal title seemed to be intended as some kind of subtle hint but Lorne wasn't sure at what and at the moment, he didn't care either.
"Adrenaline buzz is wearing off," Sheppard supplied helpfully as medical personnel descended upon them with stethoscopes, blood pressure cuffs and a variety of other things that beeped and flashed. "Butterflies in your stomach and legs feel like jell-o?"
David nodded in astonishment as if Sheppard had just displayed some kind of amazing feat of clairvoyant skills.
"Been there," Sheppard reassured him. "Just sit still right now."
Lorne felt a combination of stupid and relieved. Of course it was just adrenaline. He'd been there a hundred times too. So why was his heart sitting in his throat right now?
"Major. Major?" The medic was asking, apparently not for the first time, for him to move clear of his patient while David was politely protesting his assistance stating that he was fine now, he really didn't need a stretcher and could certainly walk to the infirmary himself.
"Doc," Lorne interrupted flatly, "lie down and shut up. Now. That's an order."
Without taking his eyes off of his team leader, David swallowed hard once but did as he was told. Oddly, the medic did the same. Lorne sighed in relief as the mollified botanist was taken away. He glanced up just in time to catch Sheppard raising one eyebrow at him. "Don't suppose you'de be willing to spend some time with McKay?" His CO was clearly awestruck.
"No sir." He stalked off to follow his teammates. Well, if nothing else, there was one thing that was for certain. After dragging two unconscious officers back home single handedly, no one was going to be making disparaging remarks about Dr. David Parrish ever again.
-----
He said nothing more but stood close by as David moved apprehensively from the gurney over onto the small medical exam bed. Stance base wide and hands clasped solidly behind his back, he hadn't even realized he had assumed such a provoking posture until Sheppard arrived and gave him a clearly questioning glance before looking over at the still silent and subdued botanist. Honestly, he was really only concentrating on getting his stomach to settle again.
David seemed to understand the Colonel's unspoken request for additional information and began an account of the mission from their arrival and unexpected ambush to the villagers 'incapacitating' Reed to prevent his capture while Grant was taken away by some unknown band of mercenaries. Lorne winced. It hadn't even registered in his mind that Grant was missing.
"He was still fighting when they dragged him off." David's demeanor shifted suddenly from concise and collected and he paused as if he was in pain. Lorne instinctively moved closer. "They said I was worthless to them. They were going to kill me but the village leader somehow managed to trade his continued 'cooperation' for my life although I could tell he was taking a huge risk in doing so."
David looked away from Sheppard toward Lorne, "They were trying to protect me, not themselves. Evan, I'm not worth other people dying over." His face held a depth of sorrow beyond comprehension and his voice was so … broken, Lorne's heart broke with it. The unconscious switch back to informal was not missed either and was a more profound indicator of David's current emotional state than even the tears that he could tell were being resolutely forced back.
Lorne felt an icy cold sensation penetrate his chest. His team had taken every measure they could and then some to protect one of their own no matter the cost to themselves. That was their duty and he couldn't possibly be more proud of them for doing it. Yet while knew he would have done the same, suddenly he wasn't quite so sure if it would have been for the same reasons. To him, David simplywas worth dying for. In honesty, he wasn't even quite sure why, just that he was. It was the first time he had ever truly considered the full extent of what he had so casually asked others to do.
"Hey, Grant was still alive the last time you saw him right? We'll find him." Even as he said it he knew that it could never be a promise but his friend needed consolation right now and Lorne wanted desperately to provide it. What he didn't realize was how much he needed consolation too. He felt an inexplicable desire to reach out and David's eyes remained locked with his as if begging for that touch. But even as his hand started to move, something restrained him. "We find Sheppard every time don't we?" He joked lamely instead, nodding toward his CO who looked appropriately affronted by the good intentioned jibe.
David took a disappointed breath and regaining his composure turned quickly back to Sheppard. "They looked loosely military and I tried Colonel, honestly I did, but I really couldn't identify any particular affiliation. My impression was that the villagers had been expecting those men to return and were sincerely trying to protect us as well as themselves when they sent us away. They made it quite clear we were not to return again under any circumstances."
Sheppard pursed his lips as he processed this information, his thoughts apparently interrupted when Dr. Beckett walked in. Having first attended to Reed and an Athosian elder, the doctor came to address his most stable case last. In his usual manner, he proceeded to distract his patient with extraneous questions and conversation while he performed his exam. He concluded that David was exhausted but otherwise physically fine and prescribed the usual hot meal, good night's sleep and chat with Kate Heightmeyer.
He turned to exit but Lorne grabbed him sharply by his sleeve. "Wait, wait, wait. That's it? Aren't you going to do tests? Take blood? Run an MRI? Something?"
Beckett looked at him blankly. "He's fine, Major."
"Yeah, but ... I mean ... are you sure?"
The doctor blinked in an alarmingly Asgard-like manner. He then looked to Sheppard who returned a similarly quizzical glance but only shrugged in reply.
Beckett slowly turned back to David. "Doctor Parrish, how do you feel right now?"
"Fine," David replied impassively.
Beckett turned back to face Lorne again, "He's fine Major."
Lorne noticed David stifling a smile as the doctor, Sheppard behind him with his head cocked in a very Weir-like manner, turned to leave. What was it today with everyone treating him like he was nuts?
When he turned back, the botanist had just landed wrong on one foot in the process of hopping down from the little exam bed.
"I gotcha." Lorne jumped to help him, grasping him by his waist with both hands as David reached up to his shoulders. It was just a tiny little action, one that anyone would do for a child without so much as thinking about it. But David wasn't a child.
The botanist regained his center quickly. "Yeah, I guess you do," David observed. Lorne had not realized that David had since released his shoulders. There was a rather prolonged and awkward pause. "Um, Major? I'm okay now." David dropped a questioning glance to the hands still lingering on his waist.
"Oh, right. Um, you're sure?"
"Yeeesss." The response was extended out in that same leery fashion that Weir had used. What? David too?
Then he realized he had still not released his friend. He pulled back sharply trying hard to appear as if his actions were intentional. Okay, perhaps everyone was treating him strangely for good reason. Really, what the hell had gotten into him today? Unable now to even look in his David's direction, he changed the subject abruptly. "Hey, you hungry? How about we go over to the mess?"
David rolled his eyes but elected go with the abrupt change. "Yes, but can please we ask how Lt. Reed is doing first?"
Lorne kicked himself again. The whole time Beckett was there he never even thought to ask about Reed. That the doctor confirmed the lieutenant would again be fine, commenting it was fortunate the man had such a hard head, did not console him. Damn it, what was the matter with him? He tried to rationalize that as the only civilian on his team, his attention should center on David. That Sheppard had been closer to Reed in the Gate room and was already evaluating him before Lorne had managed to lower David safely to the ground. That Becket was the finest doctor he had ever met and Reed was in the best hands possible with the medical staff here. But that little portion in the back of his brain reminded him sternly that this wasn't about the competence of others. It was that he had forgotten completely about both Reed and Grant. That his team had three other members! And that he was responsible for allof them.
-----
His confusion at the gamut of emotions he had just experienced left Lorne feeling vulnerable and disconnected. Worse, he realized heading down to the botany lab wasn't going to be an option this time. The fact that without further access to the Gate on Jenev there was no way to narrow down to even fifty planets where Grant might have been taken only compounded his misery. But in its usual fashion, Pegasus provided more than adequate distraction from his personal issues.
The very next time Sheppard stepped through the Gate, he managed to get himself stuck in some sort of time dilation field. Lorne sighed. Could a galaxy really 'hate' someone? Fortunately, nearly six months for the Colonel equated to only a few hours for Lorne so he hadn't quite needed to fully reassume command mode nor had he needed to call the just departed Daedalus back before his CO was once more safely recovered. He considered only that it was a shame the situation hadn't been reversed, he would have really appreciated that kind of respite himself right now.
But it was not to be had. Sheppard hadn't been back five minutes, no really, the man was still shaving off that beard when the Daedalus relayed an emergency message from the SGC warning of a bomb planted somewhere in the city. Having finally learned that when it rained in Pegasus it poured, Lorne cleared his mind and focused on coordinating a desperate hunt for the, as of yet still unknown, explosive device. The threat of a bomb at some point evolved into the threat of a Wraith attack which in turn became the threat of a ZPM overload. Frankly at this point, he really didn't care which it was, a big explosion was a big explosion regardless of what caused it.
Again the Daedalus rushed their return and again the image of a highly irritated little Asgard flitted through Lorne's mind, quashed only when Sheppard radioed him that Dr. Weir had called for an emergency evacuation of all personnel. He reported immediately to his duty station. With the always present threat of Wraith attack he had written several protocols for exactly this scenario months ago. At this point they were well practiced drills among the military contingent … though not so much for the civilian community.
The Gate room and jumper bays were a mass of organized chaos with people being beamed up to or loaded aboard various ships. There was just shy of twenty minutes left ticking on McKay's clock and by his count four members of the science staff were still unaccounted for as well as the sizeable gathering of Athosians attending the Ring ceremony for Teyla's recently deceased mentor. Exactly what good was it to insist on holding a funeral for someone if it was only going to result in more funerals?
He delegated a security detail to escort the Athosians to a jumper as soon as their solemnities were complete or at the ten minute mark, whichever came first. And it was not open for debate. Several others were assigned to hunt down the various missing scientists with his permission, no, make that his blessing, that they be physically carried to and tossed aboard the jumpers if need be. The marines seemed to like that. When his teams dispersed, he headed straight for the botany lab.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Sure enough, David was still there.
"I just couldn't leave without …."
"Without what? Samples? Specimens? Data? I don't give a damn if you have the cures for cancer and taxes in here. Don't you hear that klaxon? You're evacuating. Now!" Yeah, he was yelling again and he didn't care. He reached out and grabbed his friend's arm. David tried to pull back but Lorne's hold was firm as he turned, dragging the botanist behind him and out toward the jumper bay.
"Evan? … Major!" David jerked back hard redirecting Lorne's attention down to his arm. "You're hurting me," he said quietly as they both looked down at the vice-like grip Lorne still had on him.
He closed his eyes and tried to count to ten but only made it to three before frustration overruled reason. "David, there's a …" Shit, which was it again? "Something in this city is about to explode and take half the planet with it. You are NOT staying here another minute. Get it?"
"But you're still here," was the still quiet but all too effective reply.
"I'm supposedto be here! I'm..." Lorne found himself at a loss for any reasonable retort.
"Expendable?" David finished quietly.
God no! Was thatwhat he was thinking? For Christ sake, he had no intention of dying trying to disarm the damned whatever it was. He just wanted to get everyone out of here so he could leave too.
"It's very important to me, Evan."
Not as important as youare to me. That instinctive little part of his brain obligingly snuck in the piece that had been missing these past several days but he found himself unable to counter David's argument with such a powerfully personal sentiment. Especially since that sentiment had decided to make itself known at such an extremely inopportune time. Besides, David was clearly fixated on his samples right now and it wasn't like anything he said or did would pry the botanist's attention away from them anyway. Nothing could distract David's attention from his research when he got like this.
"What could possibly be so important?" His irritation was unconcealed but David only stared back at him.
That attention remained unbroken when two marines arrived to report the other civilians had been accounted for and loaded aboard the jumpers. They seemed quite surprised that Lorne had not yet taken his own advice and was still down here. But apparently two very large hovering marines provided significantly better incentive than a single Air Force Major and David, still resigned, finally allowed himself to be led to the jumper bay.
Lorne couldn't remember ever feeling so relieved about anything in his life as he watched that one particular puddle jumper depart. Turning back to his duty he was all at once horrified by what he had just done. Duty? Damn it, he was second in command of this facility and ensuring the well being of everyone on the base fell just as much to him as it did to Col. Sheppard. How could he have let himself be side tracked like that? Again! He would never have taken that much time if it had been anyone else. But wasn't it his duty to protect David too.
He anger at himself and his own internal conflict only escalated when Dr. Weir's voice announced the "All Clear" over his com. Just because everything ended well today didn't mean that he did not have a serious problem to contend with here.
-----
Considering the nature of that problem though, it would have been a bit difficult to clarify his rationale for requesting formal leave in any kind of report that the US Air Force could actually read. Fortunately, the solution was easy enough. He lamely used Reed's current convalescence and Grant's loss as justification to immerse himself in a pile of paperwork that he hoped would be deep enough to keep him from seeing the light of day for weeks. That part of that workload entailed arranging for the formalities surrounding Captain Griffin's sacrifice on behalf of Dr. McKay however, only served to reinforce yet again his uncertainly regarding the nature of his own motives.
He tried to rationalize that he was only going to the mess hall at odd hours because he had a lot of work to do and couldn't seem to make it during the regular meal times. That his thoughts at night seemed to dwell repeatedly on the comforting rhythm of gentle waves on a blue grey ocean was attributed simply to the sound of the Lantean sea outside his window rather than to anything else in particular.
When David, no, Dr. Parrish he corrected himself, required an escort for another off world study he was able to conveniently and honestly point out that he was unavailable at the moment and assigned another team to accompany the botanist. The general consensus among the military personnel had been that he only assigned Parrish to his team in the first place because he knew no one else wanted to deal with him and now that consensus shifted toward presuming he couldn't deal with the man any more either. Lorne let the rumors circulate. They distracted him nicely from considering the point too hard himself anyway. But he found it becoming increasingly difficult to ignore the comments from other team leaders about what a menace 'that botanist' was when he knew damn well that wasn't true. Being aware of how such gossip would hurt David when he inevitably found out didn't help either and Lorne felt a pang of guilt when sure enough, he stopped requesting time off world.
Col. Sheppard took what would have been Lorne's next first contact mission despite being keenly aware that McKay would gripe over a trip to another 'primitive agrarian' society. Okay, maybe it was because he was aware the physicist would gripe, it was hard to tell with those two sometimes. There were some days Lorne was sure it was more about the bickering itself rather than the actual point of the argument. Really though, it truly was more David's forte. That it ended up being exactly McKay's forte after all was nothing but pure luck. He ignored the whole part about the beautiful woman. What was it about Sheppard anyway? That never happened to him. Subsequently though, it became even easier for him to stay busy coordinating teams to accompany the various scientific staff to the duplicate Atlantis to inventory the drones and jumpers there.
The whole little incident of Dr. Weir and Col. Sheppard having their bodies hijacked by aliens intent on fighting a war thousands of years old to the last man … or woman as the case had been, only buried him deeper in his elusion. Damn, Weir could really pack a punch and he was sure his throat was never going to be the same again. The log entries alone for that whole fiasco had been a nightmare, never mind having to clean up the logistical mess of resetting command codes and establishing new security protocols in the event such a thing might ever happen again. It took a seriously warped imagination to conceive of and plan for such otherwise inconceivable events and he discovered a whole new appreciation for the people who drew up the emergency disaster protocols for large cities. Hurricanes and earthquakes he could see but really, who would ever have imagined anyone could be so deranged as to intentionally fly commercial aircraft into buildings? He redirected his concentration to his reports but again his suppressed feelings forced their way back to the surface. The whole two hours he spent trapped in that damned corridor while Phebus threatened to release halon fire suppressant into the living quarters, all he could think about was David.
Throughout it all, Sheppard never made any comment or even seemed to have any opinion regarding Lorne's choice of assignments. He was very a much a 'don't ask' personality when it came to anything regarding anyone's personal decisions. Lorne had initially considered this a bit of an unorthodox command style but came to see that it did make a strange kind of sense once he learned that in reality, the only reason the Colonel ended up here himself was because of other people questioning and judging his decisions. That in fact, Sheppard's entire command was nothing more than some big cosmic mistake. Oddly, that was probably what impressed Lorne the most about the man, what really earned his respect. How the Colonel had risen to the occasion, continued to make his choices based on what he felt was right regardless of what the repercussions might be and turned that 'mistake' into something tenable. Whatever his record might say, the man's strength of character was unquestionable. Lorne wasn't sure he could have done that under the same circumstances and sitting, okay, hiding, in his office right now, he was even more doubtful of it. He thought about that bleakly as he assigned himself to this week's detail of assisting Dr. Lindsay with an ongoing anthropological study.
-----
The Genii holding cell was pretty typical for a prison; cold, dark, damp, smelly, rat infested, or at least some nasty little creature that was close enough to a rat for Lorne's taste. Did he miss anything? But still, they had been provided with crude bunks and blankets and oddly, they were provided food and clean water as well. True, it wasn't anything he would describe as good, but it wasn't inedible either.
Surveying the cramped environment for the hundredth time, the common thread finally struck him. Everyone in the cell was a natural carrier of the ATA gene. Himself and Reed, Solomon from Edison's team who had gone missing almost a two weeks ago and Grant. Yep, on the bright side, at least he managed to find his missing team member. Poor guy. Seemed he was assigned to Pegasus based on the same criteria that Lorne and Sheppard had been – a mutant gene and a pilot's license. He wondered briefly if there had ever been any other criteria.
He sighed; yes, again. After the blood sampling thing, the who's and why's all came together. He had absolutely no doubt they were in this for the long haul and that the Genii had made good on their affirmation that no one in Atlantis would be looking for them; that it had been arranged so there would be no question they were all dead. He imagined this must be how the crew of the Aurora felt; perceiving themselves as very much alive yet knowing they were already dead and not being able to do a damned thing about it. At least their deaths ultimately had value.
He glanced around at the composed faces of the rest of his cellmates. Had they put it together yet too? What were these men thinking about – families left behind, promises unfulfilled, whether that last electric bill got paid or not? It wasn't like any of them would ever talk about it though. They were good soldiers and stoic to the last.
His thoughts turned inward. So what was weighing the most on him right now? How his mother would take the news of his death? No, she was an amazingly unique woman and had come to terms with the possibility of his loss quite some time ago; when he was first recruited for the SGC and could no longer tell her where he was or when he might ever see her again. Every reunion with her was a sanguine occasion. That was just her way. The thought that there might never be another always remained unspoken.
He envisioned her at his funeral, accepting a flag. Okay, now he was getting just plain morbid. But then he found himself wondering if David would be there. His mom would like David, they had a lot in common – particularly that untainted fascination with everything the world has to offer and a die hard optimism to go with it. He envied them both for that. Maybe they would become friends. He smiled privately at the thought. They really would be good for each other and somehow it gave him comfort to think that they might take care of each other if he was gone.
Yeah. He finally had to admit that the thing weighing heaviest on him right now was his friend. Knowing that David was sitting in Atlantis right now thinking Lorne was dead and believing he had done something wrong that Lorne could or would not forgive him for. Go figure, of all the things he could be sitting here regretting in his life, it was upsetting a botanist that took precedence. How funny was that?
Maybe not so funny. The events of the past several months flashed before him in crystal clarity. The movie nights, the meals, the quiet evenings of backgammon, the conversations in the nursery. Those were just the surface. Trying so hard to learn military skills that were completely foreign to him, steeling himself under the most adverse of conditions to care for him when he was injured, resisting evacuation when he would still be left in danger. Damn it, David never said it was the samples that were important. It was the thought that Lorne might be sacrificing himself. 'Expendable.' Instantly it hit him, David had never been afraid that other soldiers wouldn't protect him, he was afraid they would. That Lorne would.
The subtlety of David's actions suddenly made sense. He would never have said nor done anything that he felt could either jeopardize Lorne's position or worse, possibly disgust him. Yet in his own way, he did still manage to say it each and every day. It was just that Lorne wasn't listening. Realization washed over him … and belated as it was, it still felt as wonderfully warm as when he awoke in that forest. David loved him.
As if one life changing revelation while sitting in a prison cell wasn't good enough, no, he had to go and have two. The tightening in his chest when he found David on that damn ventilator in the infirmary, the sick panic when he was missing on Jenev, the urgency to keep him safe above and before all other things, that David was worth dying for.
The comfort he found as his mind kept returning time and again to the thought of David holding him when he was injured.
That little part of his brain finally broke through. He loved David too.
Shit, how could he have not seen that? And here he had accused David of not being able to see the forest for the trees. That David just happened to be a man somehow didn't play into the picture at all. Only that suddenly he realized that this person was the most important thing in his world. And what an idiot he had been.
For what he was pretty sure was the first time ever Lorne was actually happyto see Doctor McKay, even unconscious … okay, maybe because if it. He knew as the scientist was dragged into the cell that there was absolutely no way Col. Sheppard would ever write off the physicist's loss regardless of how immitigable the circumstances. Rescue suddenly became a possibility again and maybe, just maybe, he could survive this and return to Atlantis. No, no maybes. He would survive this because he hadto return to David and apologize for being such a jerk. And tell him how he really felt.
He remained calm, making suitable small talk when Sheppard was forcibly shoved into the cell a short while later. Couldn't just one member of that team ever stay out of trouble? This was definitely more of a problem than he anticipated but still Lorne kept his newfound hope alive. They would find a way out of this, they had to. And with the unexpected help of Ladon Radim, they did.
-----
He tried very hard to not think about how very close things had come to not working out as he stepped through the Gate seconds before the impact of a nuclear explosion reverberated off the shield behind him. Instead, he focused on being once again surrounded by the familiar activity of the command center. Medical and security teams were standing by and the Genii soldiers were escorted to detention while the Atlantis personnel were herded away to the infirmary.
Somewhere in the midst of the flurry of activity, while he was sitting there on an exam bed awaiting his turn to be poked and prodded by yet another nurse with cold hands, he caught a glimpse of David. He was standing just beyond the door, anxiously scanning the crowded room for … his eyes met Lorne's. Lorne could feel just as clearly as he could see the soft sigh, the eyes closing gently and the unmistakable look of relief that swept across David's face before composure resumed and he approached.
"Major," he began formally, "it's, um, it's good to see you are well. Dr. Lindsay had reported that you … um …" his voice broke and he couldn't seem to bring himself to finish the sentence.
"It was a Genii ruse," Lorne began stoically. "They were trying to capture people with the ATA gene hoping that would somehow help them understand and operate the technology." He shrugged off the entire incident in a matter of fact manner. He couldn't do this. He was finally back in the city and despite everything he knew to be true, suddenly now he couldn't do this. Endless moments dragged on until the silence became awkward.
"David." "Evan." They began simultaneously. "Go ahead." "No you." Followed in equal unison. It might have been funny under any other circumstance but the tension was too thick right now for any levity to be considered. "David," Lorne began decisively, he was goingto do this damn it. "We need to talk."
David nodded quietly and Lorne could not tell whether resignation, anxiety or fear was dominating. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come here … I just … I had to know." His friend's eyes glistened with the most consummate sincerity Lorne had ever seen and he instantly regretted his own outbreak of cold feet moments ago. "I'm sorry, really." It wasn't an apology for coming here, it was an apology for something he had never done wrong in the first place. He turned quickly to go.
"No, no, David, wait … please. That's not …" As Lorne jumped off the exam bed to follow his retreat, a firm hand planted itself squarely in the center of his chest.
"Not so fast, Major." Lorne did a double take as the tall, thin, red-haired duty nurse pushed him back to the bed then grabbed his wrist with, yes, ice cold hands, to take his pulse and begin the exam. David had stopped by the door and Lorne knew he had only this moment – a slight nod accompanied by a gaze that he hoped with all his heart conveyed his desire to make things right. David's face softened and an almost imperceptible smile appeared. God Lorne loved to see that smile. He hadn't realized how much he had missed it, how important it had become to him and how much he wanted to see it every day from now on. Content that his message was received as intended, Lorne turned his attention back to the nurse just as she was about to shove a thermometer in his mouth.
-----
An eternal, or maybe an infernal, hour later he was finally cleared by medical with 48 hours of down time and the standard hot meal, good night's sleep, chat with Heightmeyer, etc. He headed directly for David's quarters.
The door opened and David stood to one side. Lorne entered tentatively. He felt the whoosh of air as the panel slid shut behind him. Anxiety and uncertainty were etched on David's face and again, Lorne's military training tried to assert itself as he wrestled with how to even broach this kind of conversation. Fortunately, that tiny portion of his brain that tended to disregard everything logical, reasonable, and conventional made its presence known yet again. Lorne considered that maybe that little portion wasn't such a pain in the ass after all. Instead of even trying to verbalize something that he knew was just impossible to communicate with words he reached out and gently enfolded David in his arms.
He could feel his friend initially tense up before ultimately accepting the embrace. He felt a flood of pent up emotions finally release en masse as David began to sob quietly on his shoulder. And he felt a surge of guilt in himself for everything he had put this man through during the past several weeks while he wrestled with his own stupidity.
Hesitantly, he placed a light kiss on David's head and felt the gentle flutter of his breath in response. Pulling back only just far enough to wipe the streaks of still trickling tears, Lorne felt somehow compelled to say something. As he opened his mouth though, that very wise little portion made yet another executive decision. Words were discarded and he brushed his nose ever so lightly against David's cheek before leaning down to meet his lips. A simple, gentle kiss; returned ever so softly and with great trepidation as the man he held in his arms gradually accepted his offer.
His hand still resting against the side of David's face, he looked deeply into those beautiful blue-grey eyes. They were glazed over with moisture; a sparkling kaleidoscope of reflected light and emotions playing off the wetness. Fear, loss, sadness, relief, hope … love. He watched as the understanding that it was 'Evan' that had initiated this action slowly penetrated David's conscious thought. That it wasn't a mistake or an accident. That it was a choice.
Evan waited. He wanted to let David make the next move; to give him the chance to choose for himself. As if in slow motion he followed the progression as he heard David's breath catch, saw his eyes brighten and then tasted the flavor of salty tears mixed with love never expected when David finally pulled him back for another kiss. A real kiss. Evan responded with every bit of conviction in his soul and was so relieved to feel every bit of that conviction returned in kind. He tightened his embrace to assure the other man that this was something he had no intention of ever letting go of.
For the first time since coming here, Evan felt certain that no matter what, tomorrow wasn't going to be 'just another day'.
To be continued…
Footnote: Papaver somniferum is the opium poppy. The pain medication morphine is manufactured from the seed pods of this plant. Early in this story, when Lorne is comparing the morphine in the PCA (patient controlled analgesia) pump to what David had given him in Chapter 1, he is essentially comparing morphine to morphine! Little joke there -