A/N: This is just something I decided to do to kill the time while we wait patiently wait for book six. I'm trying to be humorous, be sure to tell me how much I failed!

The wait was beginning to be unbearable, and looking as if it might never end. Harry sat on the edge of the smallest bed, in the smallest room of number 6 Pivet Drive. To him it seemed as if book five had been years ago, in fact, it had been. Almost three years since Sirius had died, since he himself had learned about the prophecy that claimed his future. It seemed as if he had been sitting there for the three years since then, waiting for the sixth book to start, which is true. But that's not the point of this story, that has absolutely nothing to do with this story, which starts right about here:

As if by magic (which in this case, was probably the case) Harry suddenly disappeared off of the smallest bed, in the smallest room of number 6 Pivet Drive, and found himself in an empty room. From the looks of things, this had to be the most boring room known to man, with it's white walls, and white floors, and if luck would have it, white table with it's white chairs sitting directly in the middle. Harry sat there for what seemed like ages, and just when he realized, that he really needed to use the restroom, a cold, cold mirthless voice rose from above. As he turned his face upwards, it spoke to him.

"Potter, my plan has finally been put into action, you are all mine for the taking now!", said the voice, as Harry began to reply:

"Tom? Is that you? What the bloody hell, am I doing here? Don't you realize that book six hasn't started yet?"

"Oh, I realize this Potter, and the agony of waiting has finally gotten to me, so this is what I force upon you while I am forced to bid my time until I can finally kill you. That's right the worst punishment known to mankind–" Voldermort said as he was rudely interrupted by Harry, "No! You don't mean, you can't mean...bad–" Harry cried, as he too was interrupted "Yes, that's right Potter. Bad Fanfiction!"

He shouted, following it with a cold, cold laugh. Around this time is when Harry burst into tears, but that too is not very important to this story, so I'll just be moving on.

"Yes, there, there Potter, it is indeed very sad, but seeing as how I have nothing better to do with my evilness until book six comes out, you're just going to have to deal with it." Voldermort said quietly, as Harry wept in the corner so Voldermort continued: "But, have no fear, even I am not evil enough to make you go through this all by yourself, I'll bring that poor boy, and that filthy little mudblood in here to keep you company, so they can suffer with you. And yet again, as if by magic (must I really repeat myself?) Hermione, and Ron suddenly appeared. Ron being stark naked, and Hermione holding a half eaten corn dog in her hand.

"Holy Bloody Hell!" Ron exclaimed, as he desperately tried to cover the areas that would make this story get an X rating, as Hermione proceeded to blush something dreadful and drop her corn-dog, and Harry proceeded to grab said corn dog and attempt to claw his eyes out with it.

"I think what Ron is trying to say is that he looks really hot all naked like that-----I mean...where are we?" Hermione stammered as her entire body turned red, well at least as much of we could see of it, like I said people we're trying to keep this rated G. (G FOR GREATTTTT!)

Harry finally came to his senses, and stopped trying to kill himself after seeing Ron naked. "GET OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN! IT'S VOLDERMORT AND HE'S GOING TO TORTURE US!" Harry shouted with a terrifying tremble.

"You can't mean the crutacius curse can you?" Hermione said frightened out of her wits.

"No! Worse, much, much worse. Quite possibly the worst punishment known to man kind!" Harry exclaimed as Ron crouched into the fetal position on the floor so that only his backside was visible (the author thinks it kind of looked almost artistic).

That's right about the time Ron forgot that he was one hundred percent completely naked, and jumped onto his feet and shouted "You can't mean, bad fanfiction!", he yelled in sheer terror.

"That's right! Bad Fanfiction! Only the worst of the worst people! If I have to wait in pure agony for book six to come out, you're all going to be in agony with me!" Voldermort said in a cold, cold, freezing, really cold, chilly, snowy, icy, really, really cold mirthless voice.

"I've read about that stuff in "Hogwarts: A History", it sounds absolutely dreadful." Hermione said trying to keep her eyes away from Ron's naked body.

"That's right! And it's starting right about..." Voldermort trailed off, and didn't say anything for several minutes, as random clanging, and bumping around could be heard overhead.

And then finally, "NOW!" Shouted Voldermort, as from out of nowhere, as if by magic (And haven't we been through this before? I do believe so) a computer appeared out of no where, and while we're at it, it was a fairly crappy computer, it looks like it would freeze at the slightest touch of the mouse, but yet again this is hardly important to our story, besides at least it could have been worse, it could have been a Mac, but you know whatever. Suddenly the trio including naked Ron, were forced into their seats directly across from the not really so good, I've seen a lot better, computer, as the voice shouted: "NOW, READ!"

"I guess, I'll read seeing as how Ron's naked, and you Harry have that scar and all." Hermione said plainly.

"Uhh, since when does my scar impair my reading ability?" Harry questioned wildly.

"Since the author would rather that I read, Harry. Anyways, if I have to do this, read I shall." Hermione said as she looked at the computer screen, and started to read:

"HARRIE AND THE PINCK DRACKON!

BY: MYNAMEISLESLIEWILLYOUMARRYMEHARRIE?"

"Please tell me that they did not just misspell three words in one sentence. Seriously tell me, because if you don't I may go into cardiac arrest." Hermione said weakly.

"Blimey, this really is bad fanfiction, I had no idea anyone would bother to write this, but if we must continue...let's finish it, so we can leave, and I can put some clothes on." Ron said as he adjusted his naked self, as Harry started to cry again.

"One daey, Harrie wuz walking like on the street, and he seen a pink drackon! It was so pinck, and prettie! Harrie decided to take the drackon home to keep as a pet. Harrie loved his pinck and prettie drackon! He gave it bathes, and fed it, and flied on it! His pinck and prettie drackon was the prettiest pinck and prettie dragckon ever! And then like one day Harrie met a girl, she was the prettiest most beautifulest girl ever!1, her name was like Leslie, and she was even prettttier then Harries pinck and prettie dracgkon! Harrie and Leslie like married, and it was the prettiest and pinckest wedding ever! And Harrie and Leslie, and Harries pinck and prettie drackon, lived happily ever after!1

THE END!"

"Oh my God." Hermione said clutching her chest, and catching her breath.

This is right around the time when Ron started screaming bloody murder.

"God, Ron, it was bad, but it wasn't that bad. I mean, I was the star of this horrible piece of fanfiction, and even I'm not screaming because of it" Harry said.

"I'm not screaming because of the fanfiction! I'm screaming because I just realized that Hermione has seen me naked!" Ron shrieked.

Hermione blushed profusely as she faced her head upwards and said, "We read it are you happy now? Can we please leave?" she begged.

"Are you serious? Voldermort giggled. Yes, that's right he actually giggled, but trust me it was a very, very cold giggle. "No Way! You still have to sit through uh about...A LOT more bad fics! I'm not through with you all yet."

"God, help us." Hermione muttered as she slammed her head down onto the computer's keyboard.