Title: Into the Wild

Rating: T

Summary: Sasuke is homophobic. And Naruto, is his worst nightmare. Especially since he wouldn't stop stalking him.

Pairing: Naruto/Sasuke

OOOOO

"He's here again," said Shikamaru, blowing across his cuppa and smirking over to Sasuke, relishing the scowl marring the elder's features. His skin turned pink just with a flush, and Sasuke lowly, and discreetly, turned, to see the tall man with a giddy smile and dark eyes, staring. His chin moved so abruptly, that Shikamaru had to hold the table when his knees banged hard for him to settle his anger.

"He's fucking stalking me," he hissed, squeezing his Styrofoam cup. "Does he not understand that I'm straight? Fucking gay men. Can't they understand that men are supposed to be with women? Women and men, together, not two men sleeping together."

Shikamaru nodded, blowing again. "True, but there's no right or wrong I think," looking up when Sasuke's face darkened. "Oh Sas, stop looking at me like that. Haven't you ever tried to think like someone else?"

"I can only be myself, Shikamaru," he drawled, and Shikamaru grinned at that.

"Vain," he said, "Vain ass. But…I don't think there's any right or wrong in love. I'm just saying, that if someone chooses to love a man, who are we to judge?"

"Um…society?" Sasuke's raised eyebrow made Shikamaru laugh, watching over the other man's shoulder to see his stalker blinking and trying to follow their conversation. From the softer smile, Shikamaru thought him as intelligent. Well, at least the bastard was reading his lips well.

"Maybe society is filled with idiots."

"Don't dump your professor bullshit on me Shikamaru."

"You're an environmentalist and I'm well…smart. Let's listen to what I have to say," Shikamaru reminded him, and Sasuke, in spite, flicked the crumbs from his bun onto his shirt. Shikamaru stared down, dusting it away. "Real mature Sas. Real frickin' mature."

Sasuke shrugged, as his expensive boots bent as he crossed his legs. "Maturity means nothing. Besides, your fault that you actually act mature these days. I refuse to keep to my age."

"You're thirty, Sasuke," Shikamaru stated dully, "And you have yet to settle with a woman. You haven't dated in more than five years, and you have never stuck with a woman. I don't think you even like humans. Why don't you just fuck a plant and get it over with?"

"Who says I haven't?"

"God," Shikamaru swallowed. "I hope it bit your dick off."

"Sadly, it didn't bite. It did enjoy sucking my cock though. Interesting little thing."

Shikamaru chuckled, downing his warm coffee with an extra teaspoon of sugar. "But really, Sas, why haven't you dated? You're getting older…and…"

"And what?" Sasuke's mouth was firm, and he was getting testy. "I hate relationships. Women are annoying. And I'm not gay. You know how much I hate gay people."

"Mhm," Shikamaru sounded, licking his lips when cream hit his tongue, and he split the bun down the middle. "I'm sure you do."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing," Shikamaru responded with a smile. "Maybe one day you'll dream of our old lecturer Hatake-san, and you'll remember your fascination for him."

Sasuke bit back another scowl, lips curling. "Fascination," he sounded, "Has nothing to do with love. I wasn't in love with him, Shikamaru."

"Yes, so you say. And yet, you can't hold your alcohol well."

Sasuke sat back, cocked his head, and held a piece of creamed bread between his fingers. "What, in fucking hell, is that supposed to mean?"

"You get plastered in three bottles, what do you think? You never remember what you did when you drink. I'm sure you're missing something."

"Shikamaru," Sasuke growled, but Shikamaru smiled, chewing.

"One day, Sasuke, one day your old ass will stop with your constant, depressing, denial."

OOOOO

"The laws of physics–"

" –states that you are a high class idiot. Shut up," Sasuke muttered, walking away from the physicist who had decided to join them on their little trip to survey a new patch of nearly untouched land. Sasuke didn't exactly have a job, not necessarily needing to work, with his parent's money and all. His parents had come from Japan, and had only recently, returned to their home country, to pick up the business his brother decided to leave.

But Sasuke stayed. He loved nature, loved plants and what they could do – from medicines to teas to food and new cures, to extracting what he could from a simple little leaf with so much wonder, and to flowers and beauty and then to the hills and his fascination with what mother nature had gifted them with. He could spend hours staring, not knowing, and then, when he went home with three cameras loaded with pictures, gobbled up what the books could offer.

"I'm telling you," Neji whispered, an engineer friend who frequently made trips with him, "This land is owned by a man that we haven't been able to contact. The further we go in, we'll be breaching his territory."

"Land is free," Sasuke said, and Neji held him back, sighing.

"So you say, but the world doesn't work the way you want it, Sas. Someone has took claim to this land here long before you were born, and regardless of how pretty or wondrous or beautiful you find it, we can get in trouble if we just–"

Sasuke brushed him off, grabbing his camera and ignoring his groan of frustration. The physicist, sadly, another acquaintance, joined him as he walked.

"Well you seem angry," mentioned Kiba, tipping his cigar. "Have a smoke. There's a pack of cigarettes in my pocket if you want an offer."

"Smoking," Sasuke hissed, grabbing the cigar and crushing it as much as he could, "Is fucking detrimental to your health, and the bloody environment."

"So is certain types of food, and cars, but I'm pretty sure you use those anyway," he countered.

"I'm a vegetarian."

"Mmm…I see…and your car…"

"I don't have a car. I walk unless a car is absolutely fucking necessary."

"And you don't smoke."

"No."

"Alcohol?"

"It doesn't settle well with my stomach."

Kiba coughed, fishing out the packet of cigarettes he had only just offered to him. "Well then…you don't belong here…or anywhere. What kind of man are you? You don't drink or smoke, and you don't own a car. Please tell me that you at least have a woman."

Sasuke's teeth clenched. "I don't."

Kiba blinked, and then, he looked almost sheepish. "I'm sorry," he said a little too quickly. "I always thought but…I didn't think it was true."

"Thought what?"

"That you're…you know…um…gay."

Sasuke gave him a crooked smile, before punching him.

OOOOOOO

"I just had to be surrounded by the most crass, and classless idiots," Sasuke mumbled, feeling hunger pangs and touching his stomach. He had left Kiba and Hyunuke to wander off on his own, not bothering with their arguments and laws and Neji's face when he had punched Kiba. He didn't stick around to find out, either, Kiba's reaction to that. The bastard deserved it, calling him gay simply because he did not smoke, could not drink like a Korean, and…did not have a woman. What were women when he had his hobbies?

And…he was reminded…a fucking stalker.

He didn't crave anything else in the world, when his happiness was already there. Only on those lone days in his apartment, he felt something missing, but then he opened up his notebook and flickered through pictures and found another article to read up on. And he was content.

The sun was still out, fading slightly as it was late afternoon. The sandwich he had packed was long gone, and he should have expected to be fascinated enough that he would forget time, hours, minutes, and become engrossed in nature's simplicity. If he could pinpoint what he loved, he would not be able to, because there were the flowers, the scents, the fragrance, and the scent of fresh grass, just sprinkled with raindrops, or wind, that had a smell. It did, just not its uniqueness. Instead, it was a mixture of scents, picking up and whisking away whatever it could find. He had spent too many times when he was younger, dreaming under trees and laid upon grass curled into himself. Father spent too much time in Japan, and his mother could only handle a wild boy for so many hours of the day.

Stopping, he raised his camera to capture a bird, perched off way near a tree. It was upon a thick branch, little claw like feet, bright yellow and vivid against dull grey and mottled brown. His shutter was silent, and he checked back, biting his lip as he smiled.

Being twelve, twenty, fifty, or a hundred, he didn't think love and fascination for something ever dimmed. Everyone felt it, and he didn't think himself childish, of still watching in childlike wonder, at the beauty of things humans could not understand.

Slipping his camera back around his neck, he continued walking, pushing away a branch, and nearly tripping when he saw something move. He worried his lip, scraping back dark hair, and pushed further past a clump of feathery leaves to see – what was it? – a body, long, and lean and…male? Stifling the sound that was bubbling, Sasuke stepped back, wincing, when he made a noise. It wasn't loud, but his heartbeat was terrifying, the way it pounded. The man's back was to him, and he was thick, in a muscular way. Sasuke was all muscle but lean, never having that thickness and tan lines with his own pallor. His arms thickened to an extent, but never stayed, and he envied the man's back as he stretched.

It was water he was in, a stream, river – Sasuke didn't know. He normally would, but his brain didn't function when there was a naked man in front him, ass clenching in his sight. It made him flustered and embarrassed, to see another's man's buttocks, bare, only to return under water. His hair was a mixture of sun and gold and hair, and his hair was…wet…sticking near the back of his neck and clumping where there was a thick chain.

Just who was that? Sasuke knew there weren't anyone else who came here often, except for the – oh – owner. So this was the owner.

Stepping closer, Sasuke flinched when the man turned, hair flapping and then sticking to his cheeks. His eyes were blue, a brilliant blue, and cheeks, harshened by too many hours in the sun. His mouth was open, because he was near hissing and shouting a few profanities because it was him. This man, this was his stalker. His stalker was in the water…naked.

Sasuke gaped, and his stalker did the oddest thing ever. He waved. He waved, and grinned at him.

"Hello Sasuke Uchiha."

"I…" Sasuke's shock was dampened by anger, and curiosity. "Just how the hell do you know my name?"

"If you get in the water with me," he grinned, "I'll tell you."

"I'm not–"

"You don't have a choice you see. You're on my land. In my property. Under law, I can get you arrested for trespassing. If I were you, I'd join me in the water."

"I'm not gay," he told him, gritting his teeth and slinging off his bag and then his camera. His boots were off along with his socks, and he unbuttoned his outer coat to bare his thin tee.

"Of course you aren't."

"You…excuse me?"

"You hate gay people right? Why? And how do you know I'm gay? I've never said that I was."

Sasuke stepped near the water, checking the temperature with his toes.

Cold, it was fucking cold.

"Why else would you be stalking me?"

"Could it be that my father was Uzumaki-san?"

Sasuke's arms shook, open mouthed again as he stupidly gaped. "Your father…" he said, "Your father was–"

"The one you admired when you were younger. But I don't suppose, you remember our parents meeting up."

"You're his son," Sasuke breathed, making the connection, remembering, when he had seen a young boy with yellow hair and crooked teeth. But his teeth weren't so crooked anymore, and that lanky boy was all grown up now.

"So, Sasuke, join me!" he chuckled, swinging his arms in an offer. "The water awaits you."

His toes stepped in, sighing and deciding to throw off his shirt. His skin burnt easily, and Uzumaki was watching him like a predator, with wickedly dark eyes that ate away at his flesh, and he almost regretted it.

"You're very pale. I wouldn't have thought that you spent all your time outdoors."

"My skin burns, but never tans," he told him, and the younger Uzumaki nodded. Sasuke wadded until he reached where he stood, taller than him, but not so significant anymore, as he watched him close up. He was still a handsome man, uncharacteristically Japanese, yet, his face was made up right, squinty eyes and hard cheeks, lines in his face and tanned to the colour of an outdoor man.

"What do you do?" he asked him, still wary.

"Things," he replied, shrugging and keeping his eyes on him. "Most of the times I'm off following you."

"Why?" Sasuke pressed. "Why do you keep following me?"

"Because…you fascinate me," he said, smiling, almost wistfully. He looked how Sasuke imagined he looked, when he stared out at the environment, and unorthodox sceneries.

"I…" Sasuke calmed himself. "Why would I fascinate you? I'm not anything special. I'm not a woman."

"So you have to be a woman, to fascinate me?"

Sasuke thought he sounded too much like Shikamaru. "No, I didn't mean it like that, I just–"

"So if I were to say I liked you, you would be disgusted?"

"Yes of course I would–"

"So then why wouldn't you date women? Why is it that you never stick with a woman, more than a few days, until they bore you? They don't fascinate you, do they? Not like nature does."

"Stop it! You're…"

"Fucking with your mind?" he laughed. "I figure Shikamaru does it all the time to you, doesn't he?"

"I…" Sasuke reeled on him. "You know Shikamaru? Wait…you know Shikamaru?"

He was laughing harder, lines creasing, and Sasuke looked away before he could capture his attention. "Of course I know Shikamaru. We went to uni together. Unfortunately you just didn't notice me because you never left your apartment."

"I…" Sasuke's head spun, "What's your name?"

"Naruto," he told him, and Sasuke pressed wet fingers to his cheeks and forehead, thinking. Naruto…Naruto…

He did know that name. Shikamaru had mentioned him far too many times, but Sasuke was too caught up in watching–

"Shikamaru…thinks I'm gay," he whispered, understanding why his friend sent him those looks, even back then. He had a fascination for their lecturer Hatake-san, loving his legs and his face and his muscles. It wasn't a crush, it was fascination, but even then, Sasuke hadn't been fascinated or captured by any of the girls on campus. Only…

"Fuck," he said. "Oh god. Oh god oh god oh god."

"Sasuke–"

"No…" he moaned, "You mean Shikamaru knew? He figured that I liked men because…"

"It wasn't hard, Sas, to see it. I was there, the night you were drunk. That night, as we recall it, when you were all against our lecturer, whimpering his name like a drunken fool. We all saw it, and you were so damn cute I couldn't help falling for you. Even if you don't remember, Kakashi had to force himself away from you, so that he wouldn't lose his job and…I had tried to help you back. To your um…apartment." Naruto was flushing, and Sasuke stared, appalled.

"You helped me back and…"

"You were drunk and we…"

"You fucked me when I was drunk?" Sasuke whimpered now, cradling his head. "Oh god oh god oh god." His chest heaved and he grabbed Naruto's shoulders. "How could you have sex with a drunken man?"

"How could I have not fucked you? Do you know where you mouth was that night? It's hard to concentrate on anything but cumming when you were busy–"

"Oh god oh god oh god shut up. Shut up shut up shut up. Oh god." Sasuke heaved. "I'm gay. I'm gay. I'm gay." He moaned. "I had sex with a–"

Naruto's laughter stopped him from heaving again, and he shook him, hating when his laughter continued.

"It's not funny!"

"It is," he said. "When you think about it, it is. Is there something so wrong about being gay?"

"I…well yes, it's wrong."

"So you're religious?"

"God, no," Sasuke rebuffed, face twisting. "I'm certainly not. I hate those–"

"Then why?"

"I–"

"Had sex with a man. Repeat it after me. I, had….sex…with–"

Sasuke whimpered, clutching his chest. Naruto grinned, uncaring, but his hands seem to find their way to his head, stroking the still dry hair there.

"It's alright, you know. Pretending, is worse than actual living. A straight man…wouldn't…blurt the sort of things you did for Kakashi, and certainly, you wouldn't have–"

"Please don't," Sasuke crooned, shaking his head. "I'm not ready to hear about…that…and…"

Naruto stifled his laugh. "Alright then. I'll wait to tell you about the time we had sex."

"Stop saying it."

"Sex. With you."

"Oh god, shut up."

"Now I understand why Shikamaru does it. You're an easy target."

"I despise you," Sasuke stressed. "Despised. Both you and Shikamaru. I can't believe that little…" Sasuke tightened his fingers.

Naruto had stopped talking, and Sasuke shivered when the wind hit, feeling the slight lull in the water, and the hissing of leaves and branches. Surprisingly, he wasn't as angry as he was confused, stuck on trying to remember about Kakashi, and Naruto…

He was…he could remember though, how much he was…obsessed with their professor, his legs, his arms, his –

His hair shook, as he willed the image away. Was he always like that? Was he always so…

"Hey Sasuke."

Naruto's hand was by his neck, stroking behind and underneath his hair, and he shivered, not knowing what he was supposed to do. He had no close contact with anyone except for his mother, and Shikamaru, and the little few dates he went on, he broke it off only after a few days, too short for there to be affection…or touches.

And he was a virgin. He shook as he corrected that. He had thought that he was virgin. Apparently, he was not.

"Go out on a date with me. This time, for real. And maybe, you can figure out for yourself, where you want to go with this."

"I can't–"

"As friends, Sas. As friends."

Sasuke flushed at the teasing smile, and splashed water to get that look off Naruto's face.

"Only if Shikamaru tags along," he muttered, shoulders hitched as Naruto's hands continued rubbing.

"Why?"

"So I could punch his fucking face in for lying to me all these years."

oooooo

This fic, might I add, is a comedy. Please don't take it too seriously.