Hi!
So, here it is! My first English fanfic. I hope you like it :)
It's a translation of my Dutch fic 'Nooit alleen'. I wanted to share it with the non-Dutch readers as well ;)
There shouldn't be many mistakes in here; I let one of my teachers correct it. But if you find one, please let me know! :)
Well... Let me know what you think of it anyway! Reviews always make me smile like crazy :D
I don't own anything that has to do with the Hunger Games... If I had, Katniss wouldn't have made the decisions she has now...
Anyways... Have fun reading!
One can survive everything, except death.
- Oscar Wilde
"No!" She screamed. "Jarco!"
"Minna," I called back, but it came out as a whisper. "Minna, go!" Louder this time.
But she wouldn't listen. She came closer and sat down on her knees, next to me.
"Jarco." That was all she said. She didn't need to say more. The scared, sad look in her eyes made clear what she was feeling. I was her anchor, her chance, her hope. And here I was, lying on the ground, bleeding.
"He'll come back. Go. Be safe."
She shook her head.
"Go. For me." She had to go. Her distraction wouldn't keep him busy for long. "Minna, please."
I turned my head away from her when I felt the coughing fit coming. I tasted blood. An immense amount of blood. I tasted it, smelled it, felt and saw it. The grass I had turned my head to had turned red. Everything around me had turned red. And I was feeling it again. Pain. Ripping pain. From my toes to my head. My stomach seemed to burn. For a moment my whole world consisted of nothing else than red and pain.
The hand she had carefully placed on my back brought me back to the grass and the trees.
"Jarco," she said again, calmer this time. But she shouldn't be calm. She had to go away. Away from him. "Minna," I said, pressing. I stretched my hand out to her. The movement went with a shock through my whole body, but I didn't care.
My fingers trickled through her ash-blond hair and over her pale face and they left a blood-red trail. She covered my hand with hers when I had reached her cheek. My broken little finger complained and I felt pain through my whole body, but I ignored it. Why would it matter anyway? In a couple of seconds he would be here again and he would finish his work. I couldn't run anymore, the knife stabs in my torso and the deep gash in my leg ensured that.
Minna had to leave...
But first there was another red coughing fit.
When the world stood still once more, I had no idea when it had started spinning, I took her hand. "Minna, you have to go. You're not safe here."
"Neither are you," she argued.
"Look at me." She looked away. "Look at me! I am dead already. You are not!"
She sobbed. "But I don't want to leave you."
"You don't have a choice," I told her. I didn't want to sound harsh, but that's what the Games are. To be able to survive you had to be hard. I hadn't been hard enough. But it was what Minna had to be right now. "We knew we couldn't survive both. We knew as soon as our names were drawn."
She nodded and sobbed again.
"You need to leave, right now. Then you still have a chance to survive. There are only four left."
"Five," she corrected me.
"After me, four. Can't you see how big your odds are now? Let those others kill each other, you can hide until only two are left. You can win, go back home, but you have to do that without me. I know you can do it!."
When I mentioned home I saw a glint of hope appearing in her eyes, hope I hadn't been able to find in her since I had been lying here.
"But you have to come with me," she cried.
I tried to sit up, but everything hurt so much that I couldn't do it by myself. With some help of Minna I could though. I pulled her towards me and made her rest her head on my shoulder, like I had done the first evening in the arena.
"Sweet Minna," I whispered in her ear. I kept forgetting how small and young she still was, but sitting there I had to think back to when there had been a thunderstorm back home and my younger sister, who was just as old as Minna, had come to sit with me. My sister was about three years younger than I was.
"Sweet, sweet Minna. Listen and listen carefully. You know I'll never leave you. I will always stay with you, no matter where you are."
I kept her at a distance. "You know that, right? You said it yourself."
The first night in the arena she had told me about a good friend of hers that had died, but she thought that he was still with her, because she kept thinking about him.
Minna nodded and she wanted to lean back on my shoulder, but I didn't let her. Letting her lean on my shoulder wouldn't have been as painful as pushing her away, but she had to go.
"Minna, you have to go now. He's coming."
She swallowed and another tear fell from her eyes.
I kissed her on her forehead. "Now go and promise me you won't look around. Hide until there are only two left."
She nodded and shifted her position, so she could reach her backpack. She pulled out a knife and gave it to me. " Will you still try?"
I took it and nodded. Of course I would still try. I'd try to hurt him that much that he couldn't hurt my almost-sister. It was too late for me anyway.
Minna stood up and with a lot of effort I managed to stay seated. She sobbed once more and brushed a blood smeared curl away from her face.
"I will keep thinking of you." Then she turned around and ran away, going in the opposite direction the Career had run into.
I lay back down and waited.
When I nearly had started hoping that he had forgotten me, he came back.
"Where did that bitch go? Did you see her?" When he was ten feet away from me, he stopped. He laughed cruelly. "She's been here, hasn't she? You have seen her. Was she scared? Did you tell her she will be the next one!?" That last part was yelled, probably because he hoped Minna would still be close enough to hear him. I hoped she was already very far away, safe.
He sat down on his knees with a thud, right next to me, in the same spot Minna had sat in, only moments ago. "Where should I continue?"
He looked at me as if I was his latest painting. A painting he would love to see finished.
He leant forward, ready to stab me again with the big knife he held in his left hand. That left his own chest unprotected.
Minna's knife was still clutched tightly in my hand and I drove it upward as fast as I could.
He yelled and leaped up. I was still holding the knife and I saw how the blood was spreading over his T-shirt. I had managed to hit him right in his stomach.
"You... You..." Apparently he couldn't come up with something fitting and that made him even more angry. " You will pay for this! And your little girlfriend will as well! I had wanted to make her death a quick one, but you just screwed that up for her!"
He came closer again and I kept my knife ready. I wasn't planning on letting him anywhere close to Minna, so I had to hurt him badly. I wasn't going to let him walk away from me, not far in every case.
He nearly jumped on me, keeping the knife away, and he tried to hit me with his bare fist. Why he didn't use his knife, I don't know, but I was thankful for his stupidity.
I managed to get my arm between him and me and pushed it back up again.
He was fast this time but I still managed to hit him. My knife hit his left arm. Not very deep, it just scratched the surface, but the more hurt he was, the better.
He growled. It was as if I was fighting a wild beast, if the sounds were anything to go by. And he didn't know how to stop.
"Asshole!"
The look in his eyes was more than bloodthirsty. I swallowed. This was it then, my end. The whole district would see how I died, right now. Great.
He grabbed my right hand and bended it painfully. I dropped the knife and tried to turn away, in a somewhat less unpleasant position, but my other injuries made that impossible.
Luckily he let go even before any more damage was done. Well, I wasn't going to complain. I was not going to tell him that a wrist can be broken easily that way.
He sat on top of me with his bear-like body. I couldn't breathe and tried to get away from underneath him, but that was impossible. I was exhausted from all these days without enough sleep or food in the arena and the blood loss made me dizzy even as I was lying down.
The moron had dropped his knife again and started to finish his piece of art with both of his fists. One blow hit me on my jaw, one hit my temple and another my shoulder. Whether that last one was badly aimed or not, I have no idea. Every hit made my vision go fuzzier and the edges started to turn black. It had to be over soon by now. It was just too bad I couldn't have dealt more damage than just the two cuts. That wouldn't help Minna much.
Minna...
The thoughts of her gave me some strength. I had to help her! I couldn't desert her like this, couldn't let her faith be signed by a bully like him.
He changed his position a bit and I could breathe again. He seemed to be catching his breath as well; apparently, the cut I had dealt him in his stomach hurt him a bit more than I thought, otherwise he would have been able to continue much longer. I was sure of that.
I groped the grass next to me and felt something sharp, cold, metal-like. I grabbed it and drove it with all the strength I had left in his neck.
This time I was faster. He looked surprised when he felt the pain in his neck. Immediately after that he was angry again. He pulled the knife out and wanted to use my weapon against me.
Because of the adrenaline rush I had, I managed to roll over. I was just out of his reach but it was as if the world had started spinning in every possible way. My vision was totally black now and I saw stars flashing by. I heard something fall on the ground next to me and directly after that a cannon sounded. Was it really over now? Had that been my own cannon? Was it even possible to hear your own cannon? And if I was dead, shouldn't the pain have gone away as well?
I tried to look around, but I had no idea which side 'looking around' was. The stars multiplied by even trying to determine which side was the side I had heard something fall.
Then another thought shot through me. If I wasn't dead, the painful beating of my wounds had convinced me of that, where was the Career then? Why didn't he finish his job?
I didn't dare to hope, but as time went by while I was lying there and nothing happened, I got my hopes up more and more.
Slowly, the adrenaline left me. Great, now I was lying on my stomach, with a huge cut on the dirty ground and leaves, and nearly all of my body parts were letting me know they didn't really like being abused as if they were nothing more than trash. Everything hurt. That was only logical, but still, no fun.
I started to get my vision back, but didn't dare to look around yet. Perhaps the Gamemakers had made a mistake and had already set off my cannon and he was still standing there. Waiting until I would turn around, full of hope, and then he would finish it just as painfully as he had started.
The sun slowly started to set when I was done with the waiting and the curiosity. He would never have waited for this long. He would have checked whether I was still breathing or not.
Slowly I turned my head and a body came into view. Whose should that be, except for his? I breathed a sigh of relief but that caused aches all over my body.
I tried to turn onto my back, but quickly stopped that when the stars threatened to reappear.
It kept growing darker and my only company couldn't really be called social. But I knew that, as long as I was lying here, the hovercraft wouldn't pick up his body.
When it had turned entirely dark, the anthem sounded. Today only one cannon had sounded and I knew whom that belonged to, so I didn't need to look to know who was still alive. No more Careers.
Right after the moment I knew his photo would have showed in the sky, a scream could be heard. It sounded very far away. Was it Minna's? I hoped not. She would never be stupid enough to scream in the arena.
I kept listening, hoping to hear more, or in case it was Minna's scream, hear nothing. Of course something did follow. A cannon. And since the anthem had sounded only a few moments ago, I would only find out tomorrow whether that had been Minna or not. If I made it to tomorrow. And I wasn't even sure if I wanted to make it. It would be a long night anyway.
My thoughts ran through my head, I couldn't sleep at all. Sometimes I dozed a little, but then I would get another coughing fit and I was wide awake again. How long could someone survive with a fatal stab in the stomach?
The cannon meant only three people were left. I didn't count myself, I had been defeated already. Minna was one of them. I refused to believe that it had been her cannon. The other remaining tributes were tributes she could handle. Even though she really didn't like it, Minna was a pretty good fighter! The only thing she needed was a knife, about as big as her hand. She knew exactly what spot she could hit best to hurt someone badly. If only she could get past the fact that she would have to kill someone.
I was startled by the rustle of the bushes around me. Great, I thought, there is the next one. I had lost my knife and decided to remain still, hoping that the one that came visiting us wouldn't notice I was still alive. Even though every human in his right mind would know that at least one of us still had to be alive, otherwise both of the bodies would have been picked up and since it had been his photo in the sky, I had to be the one that was still alive.
I heard soft footsteps coming towards me and held my breath.
Hands grabbed my shoulders softly and carefully I was turned around.
"Jarco?" I heard, softly.
My eyes shot open. That voice belonged to Minna. Why had she returned? She had to go, continue! Win the Games! Go back home!
She hugged me carefully. "Jarco, I was so scared that it was your cannon! When I saw his face in the sky... You don't want to know how happy I was!"
It was only then that she seemed to notice how red the grass around me was.
"Oh, Jarco!" She cried. "You look awful!"
"Thanks," I mumbled.
"Are you in a lot of pain?"
I had wanted to say it wasn't that bad, but I started to cough again. The coughing fits came more and more slowly. Was that a good or a bad sign?
Minna saw I grimaced from the pain and sobbed again. "I'm sorry."
I looked at her weirdly and when I had caught my breath again, I asked her: "Why? You didn't do anything wrong, did you? It's not your fault we are here."
She shook her head. "But if I had-"
She was interrupted by another coughing fit. When I was done, she continued.
"But if I had tried harder, if I wouldn't have left those trails, if I had fought, you wouldn't have been lying here."
I grabbed her hand and it scared me how difficult that was already.
"Sweet Minna. If you had done even just one thing differently, you might have been the one lying here on the ground. You might have been dead already. Then we both wouldn't have gotten this far. You did everything right, you just have to hold on a little longer."
A new coughing fit stopped me. Everything turned red and my chest hurt.
"Jarco? Jarco! Stay with me now! Please." I heard Minna sob. I opened my eyes again and pinched her hand. I tried to squeeze it as hard as I could, but did it so softly I thought she wouldn't even feel it. But she did and looked up.
"Never ever scare me like that again!"
"Why? What happened?"
"You..." She swallowed heavily. "You didn't respond any more. And you were barely breathing. Please, don't go away. I need you!"
The tears streamed down on her cheeks and I wanted to lift my hand to wipe them away, but I could barely lift my arm off the ground. How long would I still have left? The end neared. Just a couple of moments and I would be free from this hell. But I needed Minna to know she couldn't give up. She just had to go a little bit further. She was nearly there.
" Minna, I cannot continue anymore. I cannot stay. And you don't need me. There are only two opponents left. You can handle them. Go home, to your brother. Go back and live. Promise me you'll win."
No coughing fit this time. That was not a good sign for sure.
"But I don't want to continue alone. I am scared."
"I'm scared as well, Minna, but you just have to go on for a little longer. In not too long you can go home again, then you don't have to be afraid anymore. Please, promise me you'll try."
Slowly she nodded. "I promise."
She caressed my cheek, softly, afraid to hurt me and hummed some tune
I felt myself dozing off again, but I still had to ask her something.
"Minna, would you do something else for me, please?" I barely heard myself, but Minna apparently heard me clearly enough.
"Just tell me, whatever you want."
I swallowed. It was even hard to talk now. "Would you please take off my necklace and return it to my sister?"
I didn't want her to wait until the Capitol had decided my necklace could be given back. That could take a very long time. I knew from experience.
"Of- Of course." She sobbed.
I looked at her and tried to give her an encouraging smile but I think it was more like a grimace. My end had come.
"You are going to be the first sweet Winner of the Hunger Games."
She gave me a small, watery laugh back and that was the last thing I saw before everything around me turned dark. Somewhere far away I heard the sound of a cannon. My cannon.