Title: Stay With Me
Characters/Pairings: Bradley James, Colin Morgan
Rating: K+
Summary: The story behind Colin's improv'd "Stay with me" during "The Diamond of the Day" filming.
A/N: I'm posting this as a stand alone one-shot, but wanted to include it in If These Walls Could Talk also, as it was originally intended to go there. I've had this plot bunny for months, but had to wait until I was in the right mood to write it out…. And it def hurt to write! I'm not sure which pains me more…. Merthur or Brolin. Some bromances are more beautiful than any romance I've ever seen. They just hurt. Anyway….. This takes place in the hotel in Cardiff instead of Pierrefonds, and addresses the rumour that Colin Morgan ad-libbed the line "Stay with me.". And of course, this is written as bromance, not slash, as always. xo
Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin, and sadly, I don't own Colin or Bradley either *cries* All dialogue borrowed from Part two of Diamond of the Day belongs to the Merlin people. And this is not based on real life events, hence the name fanFICTION, but Bradley did say once in an interview that he loved Colin (I'm just throwing that out there).
Bradley ran into his hotel room long enough to change into a pair of soft, worn-out denims and a faded tee. He had reluctantly agreed to meet Colin in his room to do their first read-through together of the final script, and now he was regretting the promise. Tugging his trainers back on, he grabbed his key card and left his room to stride down the hotel corridor.
At Bradley's knock, Colin opened his door, and the blonde immediately sensed the subtle air of dejection in his friend's greeting, and the hooded look shadowing the dark blue eyes. This was nothing new, however. A pensive mood had permeated the set for weeks now, affecting cast and crew alike, as they began to wrap up the final scenes to end the series. There were new projects for some, unemployment for others, but all felt a sense of uncertainty. They would soon be on new sets, with new co-stars and a different set of dynamics. No more Angel to tease and prank good-naturedly; no more Katie, adorable in her bookish nerdiness, slightly scary when she chose to be. No more Colin.
Bradley's musings pulled up abruptly at the thought. No more goofy wide-spread grin greeting him every morning, no sapphire eyes lighting up when he entered the room, no inside jokes and irreverent, dark humour between the two. No steady presence at his side, always nearby, pushing him to find newer depths to his acting skills. Bradley could tell his friend had been thinking much along the same lines, as Colin had become even more introverted and quiet on set the past few days.
The English lad entered the hotel room, and immediately kicked off his shoes, settling on the floor in comfort and familiarity.
When Bradley had initially met his co-star, he had been slightly put off by the boy's reserved behaviour. "Slightly reserved" didn't begin to describe him; he was simply, terribly shy. It had taken a while for Bradley to realize this, but once he had understood that Colin was not rudely dismissing him, he had begun what he liked to call "Operation Breaking Colin". He hadn't been able to accomplish much in large cast gatherings, and if women were present, it was a hopeless case. But off by themselves, Cols had begun to slowly open up, and Bradley had continued pushing with the teasing, the jokes and bullying, until he had finally been allowed glimpses of the real Colin Morgan, and wondered why such a warm, kind soul would hide his true self from the rest of the world.
Over the course of the past five years, the older lad had become very fluent in "Colin-speak", as Col definitely had his tells for those who knew where to look. Bradley had begun to keep a watch during public appearances and press interviews, learning to read Colin's body language easily, especially his hands. He soon understood to look past the cheeky, grinning expression and watch the discreetly clasped hands, fingers squeezed tightly together, or a hand choking the clutched water bottle, knuckles turning white to still the trembling. Bradley had learned which situations made his friend uncomfortable, and had early on discovered that a simple, physical presence offered calming reassurances to the younger co-star. Staying close by whenever possible, he had often offered a light hand to the back or a clasp of an elbow, and the quick flash of gratitude in the cerulean eyes had told him he was doing his job right.
And they had made such a team. Colin was a grounding steadiness to Bradley, as well. Living out of a suitcase in a small hotel room, working long 14 -16 hour days in cold, damp Welsh shoots and sweltering, humid French locations had at times taken their toll on everyone's tempers, and just when Bradley thought he would implode if they did one more bloody take, Colin would appear at his elbow, bouncing up and down like some demented Tigger, and the bitter retort on Bradley's lips would fade to a quick bark of laughter instead. They balanced each other well, soon finding the other's strengths and weaknesses, and their friendship had grown into a functioning unit unlike anything he had ever witnessed before.
And now…. that friendship was weeks away from falling apart, moving on. He knew Cols already had a stage role lined up, and his own agent had a couple of different projects he was seriously considering, most of them on a completely separate continent, half a world away. It was almost over, and while looking forward to new challenges, the thought still made him feel ill, so empty, that he had for the past few days refused to confront it.
For now, though, he and Colin would have to focus on Merlin's and Arthur's goodbye, because saying goodbye to Colin was unthinkable. It would be difficult enough trying to get through the final scenes, as the two actors had grown and developed their respective characters' relationship throughout the five series, and they felt a commiserating sympathy with Merlin's and Arthur's plight.
Bradley watched his friend moving quietly around the small room, pulling a pillow off the bed, searching for his copy of the script. It was only appropriate that they had agreed to meet here to do the finale read-through, as it had been the scene of so many difficult read-throughs and preparations in the past. Bradley suddenly recalled the day Colin had filmed the farewell scene with Laura. The Irish actor had been dreading the scene, and had not looked forward to the personal memories he would be calling on to connect with Merlin's emotional state. The weather had been abysmal that day, and although Bradley had been filming back in the studio in Cardiff, he knew that the location shoot would not have gone smoothly. When Colin's van had arrived back at their hotel later that evening, Bradley had been waiting, pouncing on his friend and dragging him back to his hotel room to ply him with mugs of warm coffee until the shivering, too-lean frame had ceased trembling. The two boys had stayed awake into the wee hours, watching films on the local telly, not talking much but simply being together. It was the first time Colin had stayed all night (because mates just did not do that) but it had not been the last time they had stayed up through the night, waiting out the emotional pain of a difficult scene, until fatigue and drowsiness had won out, and they fell asleep at peace. Bradley knew they would have another difficult night ahead after filming the scenes by the lake, and he grimaced.
"I guess we should do this?" he questioned, meeting Colin's unhappy gaze. The dark-haired man nodded glumly, and settled on the floor across from Bradley, script book and pencil in hand, and they began the read.
Bradley remembered the first time he had been handed this script. He had known it was good, it was beyond good, but it still had left him with a stomachache for the remainder of the day. The two young men gave voice to the dialogue, penciling in subtle nuances and tossing suggestions back and forth, as the lines they spoke cut into their hearts with a swift, clean evisceration.
They worked through the script, and Colin's voice became weighed down more and more with the sorrow of the words he spoke, his mind's eye envisioning a slain and bleeding king, his heart's friend, dying in his arms.
"Just…just hold me," Bradley reached out and grasped his colleague's hand, remembering the notation he had made earlier that day on the page in front of him. He intentionally lowered his voice to sound fragile and weakened. "Please."
"You're not – " Colin paused, taking a stuttering breath and shaking his head, "You're not going to say goodbye."
Bradley's stomach clenched at the teary voice, knowing the unfathomable pain such a scene would cause Merlin, and knowing the all too real pain it would cost Colin. "I want to say something I've never said to you before," Bradley hesitated, his voice caught with emotion. "Thank you." He instinctively reached out a hand to ruffle Colin's – no, Merlin's – hair, the wells of affection Arthur felt for his manservant flooding his soul. Slowly, he let his hand drift back into his lap.
"Arthur, hey…." Bradley noted with a growing sense of alarm the distress in his friend's voice. "No…. Arthur!" Across from him, Colin's shout faltered, and the younger man struggled to continue, his rapid breaths attesting to the inner turmoil he was experiencing. Bradley averted his eyes in the silence, concern for his friend etched on his features, giving Colin space to compose himself enough to continue. But the next sentence threw him off.
"Stay with me." The words, still spoken in Merlin's accent, were quivering and whispered.
Bradley's head shot up. "That's not in here," he frowned, flipping the pages over, scanning the text. "Cols…"
He looked up and met the dark blue eyes, swimming with unshed tears, the expression in them clearly bereft, and ashamed, and lost, and Bradley suddenly knew. He knew. They were no longer talking as Merlin and Arthur, and were no longer discussing the aftermath of Camlann. He looked into the wet eyes again, sorrow thinly veiled behind dark lashes, and his heart twisted mercilessly. "Aww, Cols," he sighed sadly, his own sorrow reaching out to meet his friend's.
Taking one palm to cup the back of the other lad's neck, Bradley pulled his friend forward into a crushing hug, and two thin arms quickly snaked around his back and clung to him tightly. And if Bradley felt a few shuddering, stilted breaths shake the slight body in his arms, he said nothing.
Bradley bent his head to rest on top of the dark hair, breathing in the familiar scent of his friend, consigning to memory the mixture of Colin's pine scented organic soap, and the musty, well-worn hoodie; the sound of Colin's even breathing; the view of his co-star's face, the long lashes that could randomly do the strangest things to even the coldest of hearts; the touch of his best mate as they stood side by side, in freezing, blustery courtyards and scorching Welsh forests.
The blonde held onto his colleague for a few moments longer, offering a non-verbal promise that although they would be separated physically, he would always be there when his friend needed him. Bradley bend his head down to kiss the back of the younger man's dark head. He continued to encircle his co-star until Colin's rapid breathing had calmed and the younger lad pushed away, eyes red-rimmed but peaceful. They had said their goodbyes.
The boys kept the line in, when filming began, and Justin had seemed to like it. And as the cameras rolled through take after take, Bradley was held tightly, clutched in Colin's arms, staring for long, sometimes endless, moments up into the most ethereal eyes he'd ever seen. The crew watched in awe as Colin muttered through the tearful words with each take, but to the two lads, the words had become less of a request and more of a promise. Stay with me. A promise that signified that while this might be the end of Merlin and Arthur, it would not be the end of James and Morgan.