Doves and Sake
by Anya Mikato

Have you ever seen a pure white dove? Sure you have. Everyone has. Aren't they the most beautiful thing when you catch them at the right moment? Not at some zoo, or the opening of some memorial and there's a bunch of doves released, but a dove. A plain, white dove you see out of chance. Nothing gives you such a feeling of peace, a sense of knowing that life will take you to where you need to be.
The first time I saw a dove, I was eleven. I had just gotten out of bed, and there it was, perched above a weeping willow. I know it seems like it wasn't a big deal, but at the time, it was. Actually, even now, it's still a big deal. See, I had been through more things at eleven years old than the average person does in an entire lifetime. I was orphaned by five, lost all my best friends by seven; at nine, I had my surrogate family killed right before my very eyes. So I guess you could say seeing a pure white dove, the symbol of peace my own church used, it kind of lifted my spirits.
Kind of like how this cup of sake was lifting my spirits. And how, all these empty cups that _were_ filled with sake was making me feel better by the second. Doves and sake. The only way to heal a broken heart.
I lifted the cup so I could look at it closely. The liquid was swirling slowly at the bottom of the cup, becoming a blur. I smiled. The beer was finally taking effect. I downed the rest of it, and slammed the cup onto the table. I found the bartender's eyes, and ordered another round.
If you drink one more cup, he said in perfect English, you won't wake up until next Tuesday.
Next Tuesday, eh? I pretended that what he said would actually persuade me to stop drinking that night. I said, folding my arms on the table. Gimme another one.
The bartender raised an eyebrow. I looked at him. I decided I was starting to like the guy. There was something about him...
I don't know, pal, he said, shaking his head. I'm not sure how you gaijin respond to Japanese beer.
Japanese beer, American beer, it's all the same. I smiled politely. Now how's about we stop talking about beer, and you go pour me some.
What's a good looking guy like you doing here? It was cute, really, him trying to change the subject so I'd forget about the sake.
Why wouldn't a guy like me be here? Since my decision to like the guy, I played along. It was nice of him to even give a shit.
'Heaven of Roses' isn't your typical gaijin bar. It's just a regular bar. There's far more better places guys like you could hang out in. Say, I know a guy who's the head of this big corporation, he's throwing a party tonight. I could call him, tell him some hot-shot American's here-
I waved my hand to cut him off sentence. It's okay, man. Really. I smiled again. You don't have to care so much.
You look like a pretty decent guy. Not too many out there any more.
I looked at the empty cup in front of me and wrapped my hand around it. I let my thoughts wander for a while before I caught myself doing what I told myself I wouldn't do. I squeezed the cup tightly for a moment while holding my breath, and as soon as I let it out, I let go of the cup.
the bartender said, a smile dancing across his face. I know why you are here. He took a towel out from behind him and started to dry the glasses he just washed. It's a girl, isn't it?
I kept my eyes on the cup, feeling his stare on me. I tried to mask the truth, but gave up, knowing that it would be a waste of time since it never worked in the past. I took a deep breath, and nodded. Yep. A girl. I looked up and handed him the empty cup. Now you know why I need to get drunk tonight?
The bartender let out a whole-hearted laugh. That's reason enough, buddy. He gave me a fresh cup. This one is on me, but only if you promise me it's your last. He stopped and looked at me. Wanna talk about it?
I sighed, and slowly found his eyes once again. Do I look like I wanna talk about it?
he said, taking a step back as he placed a dried glass on the table. Just trying to help ya out.
I sat there for a moment, not saying anything. Maybe it would make me feel better if I talked about it. I mean, I kept it inside the past few days, and someone once told me that it's unhealthy to keep things inside.
Like I would ever see this guy again, or he knew the people I was talking about. I shrugged. What the hell. Maybe my story would make him feel even more sorry for me and offer me another round of beer.

The bartender looked at me. What did you say?
The girl. Her name...her name is Relena.
***
I met Relena Darlian Peacecraft almost nine years ago. We were fifteen at the time, fighting in a war we both didn't want to be in. But that's another story. You want to know about war, go to some newspaper archive in the library.
So anyway, we meet. It wasn't love at first sight, let me tell you that. For one thing, that wasn't my main concern at the time. And two, she was all over this other guy, anyway.
But this other guy, I can't really be mad at him. He's got it all. Looks, smarts. She's totally head over heels in love with the guy. Everyone knows it except him. After a couple of years though, he finally figures it out, and decides to tell her he's in love with her. Badda bing, badda boom, you got your fairy tale romance, happy ending, right?
No. There ain't such thing any more.
***
So...what happened next? the bartender asked, wiping another glass. I glared at him.
Hey, buddy! I'm just getting started. You say another word, and I'm not gonna finish the story. Ya understand? He kept quiet.
***
Heero gets this job as a Preventer.' Kinda like the police, but they work harder and they have better technology and resources. Since Heero's a top-notch soldier, he's always on these missions, leaving Relena by herself all the time. But she knew it was worth it, anything at all for the one you love, right?
So every time Heero went on his missions, I'd stop by Relena's every once in a while, you know, to check up on her, lend a shoulder to lean on, stuff like that. Back then, I didn't see her as anything more than Heero's Relena,' just a friend. She'd cry on my shoulder, pouring out her misery while I'd sit there and try to provide some kind of comfort. It felt kinda good whenever she'd smile and thank me for my time, not that I felt I was wasting it.
Over the years, we got kind of close. Writing letters back and forth, visit each other when we were in town. Of course, at this time, Heero and her were falling more and more in love. I didn't mind, though. It made him happy, it made her happy. In the end that's all that matters.
But there's this one mission. Lady Une, his boss, tells Heero he has to work undercover for an entire year in the underworld of Japan. Something about staking out some drug overlord. Of course he accepts, he's the kind of guy willing to do anything. Even leaving the one he loves alone for a whole year.
It's not that he didn't love Relena. He loved her with all his heart. It was just...after the war, Heero didn't know anything about peace. There was always something tugging on his soul, telling him to fight. That's what he needed. Inside, he really never could have the ability to fully settle down.
Relena understood. She loved him, so she had to understand.
***
Hey! You're that Gundam pilot, aren't you?
I turned around to see some guy in an orange suit, a huge grin on hisface.
he continued. I cringed. His voice, his hair, hell, everything about him was hurting my feelings. Uh...what's your name...Maxwell! That's right! Duo Maxwell! He put out his hand. I just looked at it. I was in the middle of a conversation. I hate people who interrupt conversations. Especially fruitballs in orange suits. I dunno. There was something about this guy I didn't like. So...what are you doing in a bar like this? he asked.
If you don't mind, I'm going to go back to the conversation you so rudely interrupted, I said. I knew I really didn't have a reason to be angry at him, but I just really hated his suit. Orange?
The guy stood behind me for a while, then left. the bartender said. We get some nuts sometimes. Even crazier than you Americans. He picked up another glass. I knew you looked familiar. I smiled, and took another sip of my beer. You gonna continue your story, or what?
I put my cup down.
***
Relena Darlian. I know you've heard that name before. Who hasn't? She's probably the biggest political icon out there. Not only is she drawing a crowd of other political leaders, but also a teen mob who look up to her. Also...a bunch of assassins looking to start another space war. When Heero left, she was vulnerable to attacks. Not only was he her boyfriend, but also her bodyguard.
So that's where best friend Duo' comes along. She calls me, suggesting I should move in to the apartment next to hers. I agree. I don't want my best friend to come back to his dead girlfriend. Plus, I was beginning to enjoy her company a lot. There was always this feeling I got whenever I was around her.
So I pack up, tell my roommate Hilde that I'm leaving. It's not what it sounds like. Hilde's like a sister to me. She's a cute girl, I can't live without her. But she's just Hilde to me. Like...Relena was just Relena to me.
That was about a year ago. I settle in, accompany her on her trips. Peace conferences, stuff like that. Nothing too wild happened, there were your would-be assassins, amateur rebels, stuff like that. Nothing I couldn't handle.
About a month ago, we fly to Paris for some interview she had to do. After that was over, she was invited to this big party. A real bash, presidents and kings were gonna be there. She really didn't want to go, but I tried convincing her. She was the leader of a nation, and it would be good publicity if she showed up to it. She agreed, only on one condition. That I would escort her.
I said yes. Why not? I'd rather be out having fun with her than scoping out the city by myself. So she buys me this fancy suit from some gay French designer across the street from our hotel. I remember it, it's still in my closet. It was a black suit, with a kind of dark blue-violet dress shirt. She said it brought out my eyes.
I take a shower, dry my hair, put it on. One of the best things I love about being a guy. No matter what the situation, give me ten minutes to get ready. That, and I can pee standing up.
So I go over to her room, and knock on the door. As soon as she opened it, I felt like one of those guys in an after school special. Heart skipping a beat, breath was gone, you know, the works. And if you saw her that night, you'd be in cardiac arrest, too.
I'll start with the dress. It was crimson red. Not exactly her preferred color, but she told me she was twenty-four, and wanted a more grown-up' look. Boy, did it make her look grown-up. It clung to her body like a second skin, and had a neckline that plunged to the beyond. There was a thigh-high slit, leaving her left leg fully exposed. She had on these black strappy sandals that tied around her ankle, and she held a black purse in her hand. Her hair was let out of its usual bun, and fell across her shoulders in soft curls. Her turquoise-blue eyes were brought out with a deep black eyeliner, and her lips shone a pale pink. The way she looked that night, it was...well...there's only one word I can think of to describe her.
Hot.
She was hot.
I told her that, too. She just rolled her eyes and giggled. I don't think she's ever going to know how truly beautiful she is. I took her arm, and we were on our way.
***
Hey, Duo!
I turned around, getting quite irked at these interruptions. Great. It was Orange Suit.
I hissed. I was just beginning to get drunk, _and_ getting to the chunk of the story. This cheesepuff was starting to piss me off.
Do you think I could have an autograph?
I blinked. I said. Don't you get it? I don't like you! Now go away so I can finish my story! I turned back around and ran a hand through my hair. I muttered under my breath.
Want me to kick him out for you? the bartender asked. I looked up. For a second there, I almost forgot about him. It almost felt like I was re-living the past events.
I shook my head. It's all right. I think I scared him away.
he said, signaling me to continue.
***
The party sucked, to say the least. I could see why she hated going to these things. This was the first time I'd ever been to one of them, and this was probably her millionth. I didn't know how she'd been able to live through them all.
That's when it hit me. Her boyfriend was gone, the party blew, there was only one thing I could do as her friend. I interrupted a conversation with some Duke, which she told me later on she was eternally grateful for, and snuck her out the back door.
Where are we going? she asked. I knew by the look in her eyes, that no matter where I took her, she was glad to be out of there. I led her to the car.
Don't worry Ojousan. (My nickname for her.) Trust me.
I drove for a while, not knowing where I was going. I knew where I _wanted_ to go, though. I stopped in front of a building with neon lights and a bunch of people standing at the entrance. I looked up at the lights. Neon Butterfly,' it said. Sounds like a dance club to me.
A club? she asked, her eyes skeptical.
What? You don't trust my methods of fun?
she said shyly. I've...just...never been to a club before.
I smiled. I took her hand. Don't worry, just stay with me, and you'll be fine.
After a couple of hours, and a couple of drinks, we were both getting really tired. I called for a taxi, I really didn't feel like driving, and we got to our hotel.
That was _amazing!_ she laughed as she twirled around me. I've never had so much fun! She smiled.
You should go to bed now, Relena, I said, not wanting to be around her any longer. It wasn't that I didn't have any fun that night...it was just...if there ever was a night I could fall in love with her...that would've been the night.
But I knew that was impossible. That's why I wanted her away from me. It was just the ambiance of the night, I told myself. Tomorrow, I'd wake up with a slight hangover, and I would be me, and Relena would be Relena. Nothing changed, no one hurt.
Good-night, Duo, she said softly. Thank you for tonight.
No problem, I said, avoiding eye contact. I'll see you in the morning. I unlocked my door and walked in.
I took my jacket off and threw it on the bed. I walked into the bathroom and splashed some cold water onto my face, hoping it would knock some sense into me. Like I predicted...it didn't. I shook my head, dried my face with a towel, and took my shirt off. Maybe a nice, cold shower would do the trick.
It was _Relena_. That's all I was saying in my head. _Relena_. Heero's Relena. But...Heero wasn't here. I shook my head. No. She's just...Relena. Beautiful, magnificent Relena...I slapped myself. No!! It was universally impossible. Heero loved her. She loved Heero. And I...I loved her. I shook my head.
Let's get to that shower, shall we?
Before I undid my pants, I heard a knock on the door. Walking to it, I opened it slowly.
More towels, Monsieur Maxwell?
It was that god damn French maid who kept chasing me around. She was cute, yeah, but annoying. And annoying always cancels out cute.
No, Jeanette, I sighed. I don't need any towels. I glanced at the clock. And it's three o'clock in the morning, what are you doing up?
I saw you coming up the stairs, she said in a high-pitched French accent. I thought you might need some towels...or me. She smiled.
It was pathetic. No, Jeanette, I said again. I'm okay. Before she could protest, I slammed the door in her face. Crazy people always have the best timing. I locked the door, and headed for the shower. Before I could take another step, Jeanette knocked on the door again.
Damn it! I yelled loud enough for her to hear. I walked to the door and opened it. I DON'T- I looked out and blinked.
You don't what?
It was Relena.
I swallowed. I don't...I don't... I took my eyes off her. ...I don't know. I looked up. What are you doing he-
Before I could finish, I felt her hands grab my neck and pulled me close. Her lips touched mine, and I could only stand there, in shock. Oh, now I got it. She was kissing me!
Soon after, I returned the kiss, feeling every flame of passion arising from both our bodies. She slammed the door shut, and pushed me towards the bed, keeping her lips locked on mine.
Her body was hot pressed up against mine, and my own body was feeling a new wave of ecstasy. Her hands rubbed themselves on my bare chest, causing my body to call out even louder than before.
She climed onto my lap, pushing her tongue deeper into my mouth. I countered every passionate kiss with an even more passionate one. Her hands danced above my belt, and I gasped softly as they did. As if it had a mind of its own, my hand trailed down to her left leg, the one that was exposed by the slit of her dress. It climbed higher up her smooth skin, past her knee, up her thigh. Higher even more, until I could almost feel the warmth, that if I allowed myself to capture it, it would fill all the voids and coldness in my body.
And with that realization...I pried her off me.
I looked at her, face shining in the moonlight. Her makeup was running, and I saw where tears had stained her angelic face. I shook my head. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do.
she argued, trying to hold the tears back.
I said firmly. We can't.
she said again, more desperate than before. I tried to think of something to say, but...there was nothing. She continued. We've grown close, Duo. And the past year, we've just gotten even closer. And...more than close. I think...I think I've-
Don't say it, Ojousan! I said, looking at the floor. Don't...say it.
What? Don't say what the two of us have been hiding the past year? I've fallen in love with you!
I looked up at her, eyes filled with spite. No, you haven't. You just think that because your beloved Heero isn't here.
I don't care about Heero!
Yes you do! I got up. If Heero was here, you wouldn't even be with me right now. I looked at her. See, I'm right.
No, you're not-
How do you know? Heero will be back to you in a month, Relena. When that time comes, tell me you still love me. She was quiet. You're confused, Ojousan, that's all. I sighed. You love Heero. Not me. I looked at her once more, and took her face in my hand. I stared in her eyes for a moment, and walked away.
I never told her I loved her.
***
I looked down at my cup, and saw I had finished it. Gimme another, I said.
The bartender shook his head. No. You promised me that would be your last one.
When did I promise that?
No more, American.
Yes, more. I sighed. Plus, I'm almost done with the story, but my throat's dry.
The bartender sighed, and poured me another beer.
***
It was a good thing she never knew how I felt. It was better that way. That next morning, I took a plane back to the states. She stayed in Paris, waiting for Heero.
A month later, I got a call from Heero. That was like...a week ago. And that's why I'm here in Japan. It looked like the guy missed me!
Actually the Preventer branch wanted to offer me a job there, but I refused. But I wanted to see Heero anyway. He was my best friend, after all. I get to Japan, and see Heero...with Relena.
She smiled as I left the Preventer building. she said softly. Her eyes never met mine.
Ojousan, I'll seeya around. I looked at Heero. Hey man, I said, putting out my hand. And if you don't make it a point to come see me, I'm never going to speak to you again.
He took my hand and shook it. You sure you don't want to take that job?
Nah. Too much work for me. I smiled.
So where are you off to, now? he asked.
Just a little sightseeing. Maybe I'll pick up a geisha or two to have fun with. I looked at Relena. Well, I'm off. I turned around and left. Just like that.
***
That's it?
I looked up.
Don't look so disappointed, I said to the bartender. You knew the ending wasn't going to be happy from the start.
I know, but...still. He stopped wiping glasses, and rest an arm on the table. You should have told her.
No, I shouldn't have. I looked at him. That would have made a mess, a mess I don't want to be responsible for cleaning up.
She loves you.
No, she doesn't! She just thought she did.
She really did. And she still does.
I threw him a scowl. What do you know?
Why do you think she wasn't able to look into your eyes?
Because she was embarrassed. I don't know. I was beginning to get irritated.
Because she is still in love with you.
I slammed my glass down, causing some sake spilled on the table. Hey. I already ended my story, and we're dragging it a little too far.
You gaijin are always lazy, he sighed. Do something for once, and tell this girl you're in love with her.
And mess up my friendship with Heero? Mess up her relationship with Heero? Be the one thing that comes in between their perfect relationship? No thank you. It's not worth it.
Love is always worth it.
I looked up at him. You're not gonna shut-up, are you?
Japanese are as stubborn as Americans.
I laughed, downing the rest of the sake. You're all right, buddy. You know that?
Yes, of course.
Duo Maxwell. It was the voice of that really annoying orange guy. I didn't bother to turn around.
Would ya get the fuck away from me? I said, waving a hand.
I looked at the bartender, ready to take his offer and kick the guy out. But a caught a glimpse of panic on his usually calm face, and looked at the reflection on the glasses behind him. There was one orange blur behind me, and about five big black blurs behind him.
Great. It was yakuza.
I turned around, slowly. I _was_ drunk, after all. It took a while for my eyes to focus. I was right. They were yakuza, Japanese thugs.
This guy, Orange Suit pointed a finger at me. He's the one who wouldn't give me an autograph.
One of the guys in the black suits stepped up. He was the usual. Tall, big built, slicked back hair. You dare treat Samo Yaguchi's nephew with such disrespect? He spat. Just like you gaijin.
I looked over at Orange Suit. If he told me he was the nephew of Samo Yaguchi, the biggest crime lord in all of the Asian hemisphere, I would've been nicer.
I said, not wanting to cause any trouble. Sorry, I had no idea. Here, let me get you an autograph.
the big guy said. After we're through with you, you won't have a hand to write with. Yakuza are so cute, they say the darndest things!
I sighed. Guys, I really don't want to kick your asses right now, I slurred. As you can see, I'm kind of wasted, so let's save both of us some time and-
Yakuza are also never patient.
He aimed for my head, but hit air instead. Even with a truckload of alcohol in my system, I was still pretty quick. The entire gang rushed after me, obviously without a clue who I really was.
In about ten minutes, all the thugs were on the ground. I sat back down in my seat, and finished what sake I had left. I looked over at Orange Suit. Still want that autograph? He glared at me for a second, and turned around to leave.
Sorry, buddy, I said to the bartender. I'll pay for all the damages.
He smiled at me. Pretty impressive, for a drunk guy.
I shrugged. I try.
Now, don't go thinking just because our conversation was interrupted by yakuza you can avoid the previous topic.
I don't want to talk about it anymore! I yelled. My head was starting to throb.
You can't keep running from the truth! You've been running for nine years, I'd say it's time to stop.
I glared at him. Before I was about to say something, another reflection on the glasses caught my eye. A big black blur holding a small black blur. I turned around, but it was too late.
The smoke steaming out of the gun was the last thing I saw before everything went black.
***
I squint to see it. Perched on top of a weeping willow. There it is. A dove, its presence alone drawing me to it.
Hmmm...heaven? Or perhaps a dream. Oh well. Let's play along.
I walk over to the tree, and look up at it. It sees me, and flutters down, landing at my feet. It plucks a feather out of its wing, and flies away.
I watch until the bird is out of sight. Then my eyes find the feather it left. I stare at it for a long while, then bend down to take a closer look.
As I pick it up in my hand, a strange sensation sweeps over me. The world I was in before is no longer there, instead my eyes are being bombarded me with visions.
Visions...of my parents being shot right in front of my very eyes...my best friend Solo dying of an epidemic that killed all the children in L2 only I survived...the Maxwell Church burnt down...Sister Helen dying in my arms...Father Maxwell lying dead on the altar of the church...Professor H teaching me the ways of the Gundam...me possessed by the ZERO system...blowing up Libra...destroying a bunch of Mariemeia Serpents...then...Relena...
I open my mouth to call her name, but change my mind. I just stand there, looking at her.
She turns around to look at me, then back at a figure standing next to her. Heero.
She looks back at me, her eyes pleading to give her a reason to walk over my direction.
Heero calls out. She turns her head to him. She takes a step towards him, but looks back at me, eyes with the same expression as before.
I look at her, still, saying nothing.
After a moment or so, she looks down. As much as I want to say something, I know I cannot. I watch as she sighs, and turns back to Heero. She closes her eyes and raises her arms, throwing her head back. She opens her eyes and looks at me one last time. She murmurs something I can't hear, and turns her attention to the heavens. She shakes her head and begins to walk towards Heero.
A pain starts to swallow me as I watch her walk away. My Relena...walking away. Walking away from me, from my life. Because I let her. Because I didn't tell her that I loved her. Because I didn't say a damn word.
I make a fist as the pain consumes me more. I close my eyes, seeing the black void become larger and larger. It fills me, it drains me, it kills me...until I can't take it anymore.
I call out. She is nearing Heero now, but she does not turn her head at the sound of her name. I call out again, but she does not hear me. I chase after her, calling her name while I try to catch up.
Suddenly, the dove I see before flies in front of me, and disappears again.
I look around.
I can no longer see her.
Everything is black.
She is gone.
I fall to the ground.
I whisper her name.

My head drops down in defeat.

***
My eyes opened abruptly. It takes a moment for my vision to clear. After it does, I focus on the whirling ceiling fan above me. I don't know how long I lied there, staring at the fan, but after a while, I heard a door creak open.
I tried getting up, but my head protested against it. One slight move triggered a series of throbs in my head, so I decided to stay still. My eyes found the steady spin of the fan once again, and to my amusement, it timed perfectly with the throbbing pain in my head.
Finally, you are awake. The voice was familiar. My mind takes a few seconds to process it.
Don't try to move though. I know you've got one hell of a headache. It was the bartender. He moved into my field of vision. How are you feeling, American?
I blinked once, twice. Three times to humor him. A quiet gaijin? he laughed. I never thought I'd live to see the day. He took a step closer and looked at me. Aren't you going to thank me for saving your life? I looked at him. Oh, that's right. You were probably out cold after that damn yakuza shot you in the head. I raised an eyebrow, which I shouldn't have done. Another series of pain shot up right above my left eye. I told you not to move. I sighed, and pressed my lips together. What the hell happened?
Well, you're probably wondering what the hell happened. I loved this bartender. The yakuza thug was about to shoot you in the head. Geez, all this because I wouldn't give some fruit my autograph? But you turned around, and he missed. It didn't feel that way to me. The bullet grazed your head. One inch more to the left, and you'd be a pile of brains right now, you lucky son-of-a-bitch. He laughed. Anyway, you hit the ground pretty hard. Landed on the hard-as-rock head of yours. Be grateful you're
so damn stubborn, otherwise I don't think you would've made it. I
attempted a smile, which, again, I shouldn't have done. What did I tell you about not moving? Okay, so you're down on the ground, and the yakuza's about to shoot you again, so I take my machine gun out. Machine gun? I was contemplating making a face, but I figured I learned my lesson. Threatened them if they tried to make a move, I'd call the police. They backed off, but I called the police anyway, didn't want the yakuza after me. Police got them. Paramedics got to you, cleaned you up, and told me you'd be fine, just needed a place to stay until you woke up. He smiled. That was about a day and a half ago, and now you're awake. But you'd better take it easy.
The pain was beginning to dull, it was getting bearable. I looked around.Where am I? I was surprised at the hoarseness of my own voice.
My house, he said. I smiled. There was something about this
bartender...
I took a deep breath. I need a drink, I whispered.
I don't think so-
I need a DRINK, I said, even more sternly than before.
The bartender shook his head. No way, not after all that. Plus, there's someone I think you'd like to see with sober eyes. I looked at him, bemused. A thought crossed my mind, and stayed there.
You didn't...
I had to, pal. Been sitting through too many stories like yours, figured it was time to do something about it. He smiled at me. Maybe you should do the same.
A flurry of curse words raced through my head, but they were canceled out by thoughts of how he managed to contact Relena. I figured I mentioned she was affiliated with the Preventer branch, and their HQ was a few blocks away from here. He must have contacted them someway. Oh well. That didn't matter.
I glared at him. It wasn't your place to do anything.
I think it was. Someone up there obviously made plans for us to meet. Those words echoed in my mind. I felt like you weren't the typical love-sick stranger. Something about you made me take initiative, kid.
Something about him was making me think I should do the same.
Well, I shouldn't keep her waiting. She's out in the living room right now. I watched as he left the room.
I got up, slowly, and leaned my back against the headboard. I winced as I felt the gash above my eye.
You'd be better off if you kept your mouth shut half the time. Yeah. I would. I look up at her.
Where's Heero? I asked. I saw her eye flicker at the mention of his name.
I...didn't tell Heero. She looked down. I wanted to see you by myself. Her eyes looked back up, at me. I still love you, Duo. That hasn't changed.
I shook my head. We've been through this before, Relena-
Stop running, Duo! Please! For once, stay still...stay still and listen to what I have to say! Her voice was quivering. Yes, it is true. I love Heero. But I love you, too. She walked closer to me. I need for you to say something. Say _anything_ so I can move on. She bit her lip, and took a deep breath. Tell me you don't love me, Duo. Please. She smiled. Tell me you don't love me, so I can move on with my life. Something inside me was telling me that's not really what she wanted. But...
I looked down. How could I tell her I didn't love her? Of course I loved her! But...my barriers were holding me back. My conscience was holding me back. Everything was holding me back.
One; Heero. Two; Heero and Relena. Three; everything I ever loved, I lose. Four...
Four...me. _I_ was holding myself back. But...I figured it was for the best. I looked her in the eye, and told her the words she wanted to hear. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do, telling her I didn't love her. But I had to. I figured it was for the best.
I watched as she left the room.
***
Desu baka! The bartender paced around the room. It was about the fiftieth time he called me that. Stupid idiot.' Trust me, I wasn't hurt. In fact, I was used to it. I hung out with Chang Wufei, for crying out loud.
You are probably the stupidest man I know! He threw his hands up in disgust. I don't know why I even bothered with you.
I sat in bed, saying nothing. I watched as he paced around the room in his white bartender uniform. His black jacket was draped over a nearby chair.
I brought her here so you could tell her you loved her. And what do you do? Watch as she walks away in tears!
I started getting pissed. You think it was easy for me?
No! Of course not! But why didn't you-
Because I had to, all right? I had to. I looked him in the eye. I let my words trail off on purpose as I started to calm down.
But what?
Somehow I know things are gonna be okay with me and her.
He raised an eyebrow.
I smiled as I looked at him in his all-white regalia, looking like...I laughed inside. A dove.
So call me corny, call me a fruit. I don't care. That's what the old man looked like. That's when I figured that God must have sent him down...to be a dove..._for me_. Doves are a symbol of peace, that everything is going to be okay. And at that moment, that's what I truly believed. Everything was gonna be okay.
I loved Relena Peacecraft. With all my heart, I loved her. And inside, I knew she felt the same way for me. Maybe someday I'd tell her. Maybe I wouldn't. It didn't matter, though, because...I knew whatever happened, it would be for the best.
Ever heard of Noah's Arc,' old man?
He frowned. You won't live long enough to tell it to me if you call me old man' one more time.
First, get me some sake. He looked at me skeptically. Hey! My throat's dry. You wanna hear this story, right? He rolled his eyes, walked out of the room, and came back with two cups of sake. One for him, one for me.
Doves and sake. The only way to heal a broken heart.
You gaijin, he said, shaking his head.
I laughed, took a sip of beer, and proceeded to tell him the story.

~OWARI~

Author's Note: A few things I'd like to point out.
Gaijin is a term the Japanese use for Americans.
The bartender is a guardian angel figure for Duo. I'm sorry if it got a bit corny at the end.
The story of Noah's Arc...God punishes mankind by flooding the entire world, purging it of sin. He chooses Noah, a pure man, to build an arc and bring two of every animal on it so they can reproduce once the flood is over. He brings his family, and for forty days and forty nights, it rains. Not knowing if things were going to be all right, Noah looks and sees a dove holding an olive branch in its mouth. That meant there was land, there was life. After seeing the dove, Noah and his arc end up on land.
I don't quite see Duo Maxwell as the story-teller type, so I played with his character a bit. It's always interesting to get into his head. So I apologize if he seems a bit OOC.