A/N: I recommend you've read up to vol. 25 since this is my take of what (a girl can dream) happens in vol. 26. Definitely has some spoilers!
Fear. This was probably the first time he had felt this emotion so strongly. The helplessness he felt when he watched her pale face sink to the bottom of the lake. The icy cold fear gripping his heart making the freezing waters gentle in comparison as he dove in after her. Shit, not like this. It can't end like this. The desperation that drove his actions didn't allow him to linger on the thought of how her lips felt as he pressed his own against hers. Forcing air in, just a breath to keep her alive, nothing more. His fingernails cracked and bled as he attempted to scratch at the ropes holding Rin's limp body underwater. Fuck! Not like this! He felt his consciousness fading. The edges of his vision grew black, and his grip on the ropes slackened. If only I had…
He jerked up, his chest heaving as he coughed harshly- shoulders shaking with each vicious attack his lungs dealt him. His arm seemed to have been restored to him, and he was surprised when he looked down at his left hand. Another fit of coughing racked his body. Clutching his chest, he quickly looked around his surroundings. He scanned over the large fire that was lit in the middle of the room, but his attention was immediately caught by the haphazard breathing coming from the other side. Rin! The girl was laying stiffly on the other side of the fire, her chest heaving with each breath, and sweat beading on her temples. He threw off his own blankets and crawled to her side, that icy cold feeling gripping his heart once more.
"Did you wake up?" That girl, Tanpopo, looked both startled and relieved as she opened the sliding door.
"Shit girl, what the fuck happened to us?" Manji snarled. He didn't want to take his frustrations out on her, but he seemed unable to control his emotions lately. Tanpopo didn't seem at all affected by the comment- her expression actually becoming apologetic.
"I managed to pull you both out of the lake. However, Meguro-chan and that man…" She trailed off, "Anyway, Rin-chan was an inch away from death. Erm, she still is… Her body's taken by fever, and if her temperature doesn't go down…" her knuckles grew white as she clutched the bowl of water she had fetched from the kitchen.
Manji turned his attention once more to Rin, and he watched the way her small, frail frame trembled. Her lips, those damn lips which he had wanted to ravage time and time again, were chapped and slightly parted- her breath harshly escaping through them. She had recently proven to him that she was not the helpless girl he had initially thought she was. She had saved his god damn life. Something which he had been unable to do. And now she looked absolutely defenseless, as her life slipped by with each haggard breath.
"Go away."
"Excuse me?" Tanpopo, who had just knelt down beside Rin and set the basin of water next to her, looked at Manji in disbelief.
"Don't make me repeat myself, woman. Get lost." Manji's voice was short and definitive.
Tanpopo hesitated a moment, anxious to leave her ill friend, but the man in front of her didn't look like he would take any resistance. She knew that the two cared deeply for each other, despite both being too stubborn to admit it. With a sigh, and a final pitiful look at Rin's pale face, she left the room.
Manji loomed over Rin's pale figure in silence, lost in his own thoughts momentarily. That bastard, Shira, had done this to her because of him. He was her bodyguard, and yet she had knocked on death's door because someone wanted to get revenge on him. With hands that acted steadier than what he felt, he removed the upper half of his yukata, and pulled back the covers that were covering Rin. He positioned himself so that she was cradled in his arms as they lay together, one arm encircled possessively around her waist. Throwing the blanket over them both, he slowly, and gingerly began to remove Rin's clothes.
The firelight cast shadows on the nape of her neck, and as his free hand slid into her kimono and began to pull it down, he watched the curves of her chest as it became exposed. He'd caught glimpses of her figure before, and his imagination had filled in the gaps. He hadn't been with a woman since their journey had started, but he couldn't bring himself to share that with her when she had asked him about it. He leaned in close, breathing her in as his hand trailed lower, over the curves of her waist. He'd wanted her, shit, had he wanted her. When she had offered her body to him, it had taken everything in his power to control his desires. He had to see if she was ready. Her hesitation, however, had stopped him from proceeding.
He'd managed to remove her clothes, and as he pressed her heated body against his he remembered why he hadn't taken her yet. Her skin was soft and smooth, contrasting bitterly with his own. Rough and full of scars, he resembled a demon. A demon who wasn't allowed to die. Someone who could never lead a normal life. A man who could never make the girl in his arms happy. Sometimes temptation was too strong, and basic instincts would kick in. He wanted to hear her say his name as he made her his. Those times, while she slept, he'd go out into the night and get as far away from her as possible.
He wasn't aware of how much time passed as they lay there, but his added body heat seemed to be working against her temperature. Her breathing became more regular, and some color returned to her cheeks. His face close to hers, he watched her expression relax, and he knew that she was no longer in danger. Growing comfortable, and still feeling exhausted from his own near-death experience, he pressed her closer to him as he began to doze off.
He wasn't sure how long he had slept- or if he had slept at all- when he felt movement. Rin was squirming in his grasp as she regained consciousness. Blinking weary, and feverish eyes, she looked at him in confusion, not realizing their current position.
"M-Manji…?" she spoke his name softly.
He remained silent, his arm still wrapped around her despite the voice in his hand urging him to release her. If he let her go now, he wouldn't have to explain himself. He wouldn't have to make excuses. He could just call her a kid, and pretend her body held no interest for him.
As if reading his mind, Rin lifted her weak limbs and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer. Their foreheads rested against each other and she closed her eyes, smiling faintly, "If this is a dream, I hope I never wake up…"
"You dumb girl…" he nearly growled between his teeth.
She looked up at him, blinking her big, startled brown eyes. The kiss that followed was nothing like the sweet kiss she had laid on him that day when he had been asleep. He was hungry, almost desperate, to taste her. She was so sweet, just like those teahouse snacks she indulged in far too often. She innocently opened her mouth in bewilderment and he took advantage of it, needing more. He repositioned himself so she was pinned helplessly beneath his weight, as he continued to explore the insides of her mouth.
When he finally pulled back for air, she was still all wild-eyed surprise. Her lips, now full and red from his attentions, matched her flushed cheeks. He could tell that she was still struggling with temperature, and was too weak to continue further- much to his chagrin.
"Next time you pull me in close like that, I won't go easy on you." he grumbled half-heartedly as he rolled off of her.
Resting his head on his arm, and closing his eyes in a pretense of sleep, they lay for a few moments in silence. He felt her hand on his back, as she leaned in close once more. His broad shoulders were a comfort to her, and represented an unyielding strength. She paid no heed to the scars that marred his back, the sight of them only enhancing his strength in her eyes. She was still weak, and unsure of wether this was a dream or reality, although she hoped for the later.
"Thank you, Manji…" she whispered.
He waited a few moments as feverish sleep overtook her once more, gaining comfort in her steady breathing against his back. Her presence beside him only furthering those urges that he was now trying to stifle. She was always so unaware of the power she held over him.
"Dumb girl…" He grinned.