"Hmmmm..." Eridan thought. "Wwhere am I gonna get some of that juicy man?"
Eridan's eyes darted across the room. He was in his kitchen. It had plain grey stone walls with a small mini bar, chair and table. Only one chair.
He opened the small fridge. Nothing left. He looked further into the cool cabinet. There is one thing. It resembled the sexy mans cum. Same colour, same texture. He felt the cheese through his fingers. He heated it up with his warm hands, carefully moulding a small hole, just big enough to satisfy, just small enough for an orgasm.
He held it in his hands, shaking with excitement. Slowly, he penetrated the hole, thrusting forward and backwards carefully. He sped up gradually, sweat trickling down his face. He started to finger his asshole, faster and faster. He slurped the feces of his hand.
"Hmmmm, tasty" he whispered, ending in a quiet scream. His cum went everywhere. He started to lap it up, continuing to thrust.
"Fuck." he screamed. More cum exploded out of his fat dick.
He collapsed on the floor. Desperate times calls for desperate measures.