Hello, My name is Isabella Swan, although I prefer to go by Bella. Isabella sounds too old, like a grandmother's name. I will never have to worry about that. You see, I am a vampire. How I came to be a vampire, is a long story, but if you are interested I have nothing but time to tell you the story.

It all started the summer before my Junior year of High School. My parents were divorced, my mother took me as a young child with her and she moved from a small town in the state of Washington called Forks. We moved to Phoenix Arizona, where the sun shone constantly, it hardly ever rained, and I was happy. Happy until my mother met and married a minor league baseball player named Phil.

Not that there was anything wrong with Phil, he was a nice guy, and he said and did all the right things as far as I was concerned, and I could not fault how he treated my mother, although older than him he treated her like a goddess. But he traveled, a lot of the time playing Baseball, and my mother wanted to go with him, but since she was a good mother and loyal to me, she stayed with me at home, but although she tried to hide her feelings, I could tell, so I decided to let her off the hook and announced I would like to go stay with my Father in Forks.

I loved my father, but hated Forks. I shared my mothers opinion of Forks Washington, dismal and depressing.

So I moved to my fathers house, and was enrolled into high school, and quickly made some friends. I had never really been popular in Arizona, but here I was like a celebrity, and it was when I met a boy named Edward Cullen when all my problems began.

You see Edward Cullen was as I found out a Vampire. And also a complete and total asshat. I now hate him for what my life, or well death has become. Then way I see it he made me fall in love with him, then he got all guilty about it and made his whole family move away. I had made up my mind I wanted to be a vampire so I could be with him forever and live with his family whom I loved with all my heart.

I was almost turned by a nomad named James when he tricked me into coming to see him, but the Cullens killed him, and his mate vowed revenge.

I thought his Family would one day change me into one of them so I could be with them, until the day of my 18th Birthday. Alice my BFF or so I thought, his sister and the cutest little Vampire in the history of forever, insisted on a party. I hate parties, but Alice is an unstoppable force of nature when it comes to parties, so a party it was. I however ruined the party when I got a paper-cut because I am clumsy and can do nothing right. The drop of blood that came out was enough to get Jasper, Edwards "brother" to try to attack me. Edward threw me across the room almost killing me to get me out of the way, and he stopped Jasper, but I was all cut to hell on a broken vase, Carlisle, Edwards "Father" who is a doctor stitched me up and I was not mad or anything actually blamed myself but the damage was done, Edward decided without even talking with me that they were putting me in danger, and had to leave so I could have a "Normal" life.

Yeah, I know what you are thinking "Well son of a BITCH!" But at the time I was devastated, He took me out in the woods for a walk to tell me he didn't want me any more, and I was just a distraction, and was safer and better off without him. Then he said goodbye and just took off. I followed after him crying, begging promising anything just to get him to reconsider. But I was just a plain ordinary old human who was not as pretty enough to hold his interest for long. In my haste to follow after him tears filling my eyes and blurring my vision I was hopelessly lost, deep in the woods. I looked around, and couldn't even see any signs of a trail I left when crashing through to woods. So I just did what my father taught me and just sat down to wait for someone to find me. I sat there crying for hours, screaming for Edward, for Alice, for anyone to come back. Hoping someone would find me soon so I could get into my truck and drive over to their house and hopefully catch someone before they left so I could beg and offer anything to get them to stay, or take me with them or change me in hopes I would be pretty enough to capture Edwards interest again.

I got found all right. The mate of the Vampire James, Her name was Victoria, you know the one who swore to get revenge? Well she must have been watching, because as soon as the Cullens abandoned me she came to get her revenge on the insignificant human girl who was the cause of her mates death. She grabbed me by the arm and lifted me up in front of her glaring at me with those red eyes.

"Remember me Bitch? You took from me the only thing that mattered to me. So now imagine how sweet my revenge is going to be because you just lost your mate. If I wasn't so angry I would be laughing now. SO where was I?" She said then she squeezed my arm and I felt and heard the bone snap. It didn't hurt at first, I have broken bones before, her mate James in fact had broken my leg, and it is funny they don't really hurt at first, but I knew I was in for a long agonizing death and just collapsed, not even bothering to scream when she began breaking other bones. She took a hold of my arm and looked at my wrist with her mates bite mark on it and became even more enraged and bent my wrist backwards snapping it. And began twisting the fingers on that hand backwards snapping bones and dislocating my fingers.

The whole time she kept up a steady dialog asking me how I liked it, and if it hurt as much as my love leaving me never to return. She kept at it for hours, and the broken bones had long since begun to hurt the pain was overwhelming. She wouldn't let me pass out. She would slap me awake if I fainted from the pain, one time she slapped me so hard my teeth were loose on that side of my face. She laughed the whole time. And said when she was done torturing me this way she would change me, then once the change was over she was going to dismember me and burn one piece of me at a time to ash forcing me to watch. As bad as it hurt, I tried to take comfort in the fact that it didn't matter, because I would be dead eventually and the pain she was inflicting was better than a lifetime of the pain of losing what had become my whole reason for being.

True to her word, she bit me, venom flowing into me, the pain was unimaginable, I screamed. I screamed till my voice was gone and nothing came out but air, but I couldn't stop screaming, then the venom began working on repairing the damage to my body my broken mangled body and my voice came back too and my screams continued. Victoria laughed and kicked me occasionally laughing and telling me all manner of horrible things. Now understand, as I tell you this horrible story, I am sparing you from the worst of it. Let me say she was diabolical, and there were indignities she forced me to endure, promises of how she was going to go after all of the people in this town she had seen me with and knew I loved, including my father. And she had found my Mother, and would get her too, making her watch while she tortured her new mate to death the same way she was doing to me. I begged for mercy, not for me but for those I loved.

I hoped that she was just saying these things to get her revenge upon me, but knowing she was not. So I did the only thing I could, I screamed, and writhed in pain and suffered while Victoria Laughed. Sitting next to a campfire she had just started for me to burn in when the transformation was over.

Finally after what was an unmeasurable length of time for me, the burning slowly faded. And I died, breathing my last breath as a living human being as my heart thudded in my chest and stopped. As Victoria approached me out of the forest into the clearing came 5 of the most gigantic wolves I had ever seen, they were as big around as grizzly bears and as tall as ponies. The pounced on Victoria and began tearing her apart throwing pieces of her into the fire. I did the only thing I could think to do, I tore off my blood soaked jacket and threw it back at them and ran escaping into the forest. I ran for days until I was somewhere where I could not read the road signs any more. I realized I was in French Canada.

I learned later that those wolves were boys from the tribe the Quilluetes some of them are shapeshfters. Including Jacob black he found me as I spied on my father one day wishing I could tell him I was not dead not really, but knowing I could never have contact with me ever again. Jacob walked up on me at the edge of the woods, so intent on watching my father grieve, all these months later still and lost in my own grief Jacob spoke to me. I was going to run but he quickly told me it was OK, and he wanted to tell me about that day, that I had a right to know.

That is when I learned about the wolves, and Alice had seen a vision of me being tortured and Edward had returned to save me, but arrived after I had already fled, and seeing my bloody jacket and the wolves chucking body parts into the fire, he assumed the worst that it was he fault, and I was dead,not bothering to stay and read the wolves minds to learn what happened, so feeling guilty he went to Volterra and provoked them into ending his existence, Jasper went after him to try to stop him, but since he was also a Cullen, he was implicated and blamed and was also destroyed alongside Edward.

Stupid Edward, you didn't even want me, what were you thinking? Why? And poor Jasper, and my friend even if she didn't care enough to stay after Edward got everyone else to just leave me, I still loved her. Alice now without her Mate.

I asked Jacob how he knew all this, he told me Carlisle had called their Alpha Sam and gotten the details from him about Victoria and how I was now a cold one, and Carlisle in turn told them about the loss of Edward and Jasper.

I turned and ran sobbing the whole time ran to the ocean and swam heading west. All my fault, because I was not enough for Edward, because I was an accident magnet, and cut my finger, all of this my fault. The love of my life dead, Jasper, My Alice my Best friend, forever without her mate, I swam down down down hoping the ocean depths would crush me, but knowing they wouldn't when I got to the bottom, I just held onto a large rock and sat immobile for I do not know how long. Long enough for my clothes to begin growing sea life, long enough for the burning in my throat to become a raging fire, until it was my constant companion, but I reveled in the pain, on some level enjoying the suffering that I deserved for what I had caused. Finally I decided I would do the only thing I could think of. I would find the Cullens, and present myself to them for my destruction. I had no way to atone for the loss and pain I had caused them. It would at least tie up the loose end of why did I get to go on when they lost a son, a brother, a mate.

I swam to the surface, and I then headed east toward the sunrise, and the west coast of North America. I did not know where to begin my search, but I would find some clothes then go to a public library and begin searching for cloudy rainy climates and search those areas for the Cullen Family. I remember them telling me about another family of Vegetarians they knew in Denali Alaska. I could start there I suppose maybe I would get lucky. I would have to be careful, if they found out who I was maybe they were close enough to the Cullens that they knew about Edward and Jasper and would kill me on sight?

Well I did not want that, It was all I could do to give the Cullens that. It was their right after what I had done to cause them so much pain.