Chapter 1: A Caveman's Life

BlueTiger321: Hello everyone! It's me, BlueTiger321 back with another SpongeBob SquarePants parody! After a lot of hard work with doing other important things in my life, I now have time to create another fanfiction. So first, the legal parts: The SpongeBob SquarePants franchise is property of Nickelodeon Studios and Storm Hawks and all characters used in this story are property of Nerd Corps Entertainment. This is one of my favourite SpongeBob episodes and I figured the Storm Hawks would do well with them as the cast. So just sit back and enjoy!

Across the sky of an undisclosed Canadian city, dozens of houses rush by as the narrator begins to speak. He speaks in a French accent to the readers, saying, "It's time for another BlueTiger321 SpongeBob parody."

The screen finally stops on a house sitting by itself on the side of a street. This house did not seem special compared to the other houses. What was so special about it was that it was home to the host of this grand tale.

"But it's not an ordinary parody," the narrator continues, "because today, we go to Canada as it was..." A flash of light then erupts and changes the setting. The house now didn't appear modern but instead changed to stone with a wooden chimney. Around it was a lush jungle with other stone houses, a misty sky, and a volcano in the distance. The narrator continues his introduction by saying, "...one hundred million years ago! So prepare yourself for..."

STORM HAWKS B.C. (Before Condor)

"With your host, BlueTiger321!" As the narrator finished the last sentence, an image of a grinning man is shown. The man is indeed the host BlueTiger321, and he looks rather calm with his hazel eyes, short blonde hair and a blonde goatee on his chin. His clothing consisted of a black tank top that showed his medium build along with his blue jeans and black shoes. Beside the man was what appeared to be a white cat with strings attached to its limbs like it was a marionette.

(A/N: For the role of Polly, I'm using my cat Dusty who passed away back in April. This is sort of like a tribute to honour his memory.)

The screen then switches inside the house. The interior looks like what it would be if it was a regular house, except it had a prehistoric setting with the furniture being made out of stone, the walls being covered with drawings, and a pelt covering the floor to act like a rug.

A loud cheer is then heard, introducing the host BlueTiger321. Unlike the previous image, he wasn't wearing his usual clothes but was now dressed in a black-and-white pelt similar to that worn by a caveman. The man also had a fake dinosaur wrapped around his lower body with his legs sticking out from underneath it; a pair of fabric legs was sewn on the sides of the dinosaur to simulate him riding it.

"Yeehaw!" shouted the host, holding the reins by one hand and swinging around his free hand.

BlueTiger then stops and looks at the readers and realizes that now is the time for him to begin the story. "Hey readers," he said. "Now you're probably wondering, 'Hmm, what's BlueTiger doing in a cave?' Good question, you little..." The host mumbles to himself, thinking it was actually a stupid question.

Walking off to a wall, he then explains the point of this story. "Well, it's because this story takes place in prehistoric times," he said. As the host is telling the story, the screen goes to the wall and shows a drawing of what appeared to be the legendary Sky Knight Aerrow with a spear in his hand and facing off against a swarm of sky sharks. "Back when man struggled for survival and creatures ruled the Atmos." The screen then shows another drawing of a giant Raptor clutching Junko in its teeth and Aerrow running for his life.

"Isn't that right, Bronty?" said BlueTiger to the fake dinosaur. "But I'm ridin' you now!"

The host then smacked the dinosaur's neck and laughed. He then attempted to get it off his body but seemed to be having difficulty. He grunted as he tried to push it off with all his might. "It's stuck," he said. He ended up pushing so hard that he lost his balance and toppled over, yelling as he struck the floor with a thud.

BlueTiger yelled, "Get me out! Help! Help!" while thrashing his legs and trying to self-right himself. Two crewmen appeared on screen and helped him to his feet.

Please Stand By...

BlueTiger was back on his feet with the fake dinosaur off his body. He looked rather embarrassed about the last scene and wished that no one would ever mention it to him again.

"Like I was saying," he said, "prehistoric times were the greatest."

The host then changes the screen to show a video of several cavemen shouting and getting ready to fight. "It was a simpler time," he said, "with simpler pleasures." On the last sentence, he changed the screen again to show a picture of a Neanderthal with a finger up its nose.

BlueTiger was back on screen to further explain prehistoric times. He held up two pelts on hangars and said, "Your clothes always matched." He then went over to a wall and began stroking it with a brush. "You could draw on the walls, and nobody would yell at you." He then picked up an oversized wooden club and cradled it between his hands. "It was much easier to hit a baseball."

The man sat down to centre himself in front of the readers. "Oh yeah," he said. "Prehistoric times were the best." Just then, he held his hand to his ear like he was hearing something getting closer. "Hey readers, are those paw steps I hear a-comin'? I think I know who that is. Please welcome the Sabre-toothed Dusty!"

BlueTiger was right about one part: his cat was coming into the room, but not looking the way he expected him to be. His cat was now wearing silvery high-tech armour over his furry body and a black visor over his eyes.

"Meow," said the cat. "Sorry I'm late."

The host was shocked to see his cat dressed like this. His story was supposed to show how things were like in prehistoric times, and now his cat was ruining the moment by wearing a futuristic costume. "Dusty," he said, "why aren't you wearing your costume?" The man then held up a sabre-toothed tiger suit that was still on the hangar. "I stayed up all night making it," he said disappointingly.

"Meow, you're wasting your time, man," replied Dusty. "Prehistoric stuff is lame. Everyone knows the future is where it's at."

"What?" BlueTiger shouted. Now he was enraged his cat would humiliate him in his own story. A sheepish laugh then escaped his lips when he realized the readers were still watching him. "That's not true," he said. "Don't mind him, folks. Why even the Storm Hawks know that prehistoric stuff is, what the kids say, 'cool!'" The host then made the gesture with his fingers to show he was making a quotation.

"Meow, no, they don't," said Dusty.

"Yes, they do."

"Nope."

"They most certainly do."

"No, they don't."

BlueTiger was now getting annoyed with having to argue with his cat. "Yes, they do," he said, giving a menacing look.

"Nope."

Looking furious, BlueTiger shouted, "I know for a fact that they do!"

"Not," replied Dusty.

The man grunted over his cat's comeback.

Meanwhile...

Onboard the Storm Hawks' ship, the Condor, the crystal mage Piper was at her desk with a bunch of crystals in her hands. She was working normally when she suddenly got this frightening sensation. Whatever it was made her stop working and shiver with fear.

All of a sudden, the Sky Knight Aerrow walked past the room and noticed his teammate's terrified look. Out of concern for the girl's well-being he walked back to her room to find out what was causing her to act like this.

"Piper, what's wrong?" said Aerrow. The call was so unexpected that it almost made Piper jump out of her skin.

"I don't know, Aerrow," replied the girl while holding her hand to her face, "but I've got the strangest feeling that somewhere a man and cat are arguing about us – and the cat is winning."

Back in the cave house, BlueTiger was sitting on the couch pouting while he continued his argument with his cat.

"Do!" said the man.

"Do not!" said the cat.

"Do!"

"Do not!"

"Do!"

"Do not!"

"Do!" the man shouted. He turned his focus away from the cat and went back to the readers. "Look, while we're arguing, why don't you folks go ahead and read about the prehistoric Storm Hawks? On with the story!" Shifting his eyes back to Dusty he said, "Do!"

"Do not!" Dusty retorted.

Once again, the man grunted in frustration.

BlueTiger321: Well folks, I hope you all enjoyed this introduction. I'm sorry I have to end it so abruptly, but that's how it goes, I guess. So anyway, be sure to read and review!