This was inspired by the talk of Jude's big decision in the season finale regarding Tommy and Jamie. I guess this is what I want to happen.

The song is FlyLeaf's cover of 'Something I can never have' (originally by Nine inch Nails).

Shoutout to AG for her help in choosing a title.

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Decisions A One-Shot

Stepping out of the inky blank night, she entered the deserted G-Major building. She made her way through the dark lobby, seeing the light spilling out from under the Studio door. She took a deep breath before pushing the door open and stepping inside.

Tommy was sitting by the soundboard staring blankly ahead of him. When she entered the room he glanced up. His eyes were hollow with dark rims from lack of sleep framing them. He looked as if he hadn't shaved in days and his normally perfectly styled hair was a mess.

I still recall the taste of your tears
Echoing your voice just like the ringing in my ears

She took a few steps toward him then stopped. "Jamie is waiting in the car for me," She told him, motioning behind her absentmindedly.

He nodded, turning back to the soundboard, "So you're leaving with him?"

"Yes," she said softly, "I need to get away from everything for awhile, start afresh." She shrugged softly.

"Jude, I love you," He whispered.

She shook her head, taking a step back, "You say that like it's a solution but its not. Jamie understands me; we've known each other forever. He won't hurt me."

My favorite dreams of you still wash ashore
Scraping through my head 'til I don't want to sleep anymore

He snorted, "Jamie dated Patsy when he was claiming to be in love with you. What does that say?"

She smiled, "You dated Sadie when you were supposedly in love with me and I dated Spied when I was in love with you. Everyone does it. It doesn't mean anything."

"If you leave we may never see each other again." He said hoarsely.

She lowered her head, examining the polished surface of her shoes. The thought saddened her, "I know."

You make this all go away
You make this all go away

He stood up quickly, knocking his chair over as he did. "Don't leave Jude. You don't love Jamie, not the way you should."

She shook her head again, backing away and reaching for the door handle, "I do, Tommy and I'm sick of you hurting me."

He took a few steps toward her, shaking his head, "I won't do it again. I swear. Jude, please give me another chance."

I just want something
I just want something I can never have

She didn't answer.

"I get you, Jude. I understand how you think and what you feel because I think and feel the same way. We're the same Jude. Jamie will never understand you the way I do."

A tear spilled down her cheek and she angrily brushed it away. "I'm so tired, Tommy."

You always were the one to show me how
Back then I couldn't do the things that I can do now

He walked over and put his hands on her shoulders, looking down at her, "Don't leave, Jude. Please don't leave."

She looked up at him, meeting his steady gaze.

"Choose me," He whispered.

This thing is slowly taking me apart
Grey would be the color if I had a heart

She stood frozen in place, one hand about to reach for the door. She should leave, she should run and flee that room that contained all their memories and should have contained their future. She could feel the history wrapping around her like loving arms, stirring poison that tasted like honey through her mind, blinding her from the truth.

She was going to get hurt.

Come on, tell me
You make this all go away
You make this all go away

She couldn't bring her feet to take those last remaining steps to the door. She couldn't bring her arms up to push him away as he walked over and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into a comforting hug. She couldn't stop the tears that streamed down her cheeks as he ran a hand through her hair and whispered pointless promises into her ear.

She'd always thought Tommy was enough. He was that one component she needed in her life to make her blissfully happy. She could take life's disappointments and heartaches if she had him with her. Everything would be okay.

I'm down to just one thing
And I'm starting to scare myself

But it was wrong to place your happiness on one person. Especially when that one person who swore undying love had kept so much from her, had hurt her so many times, all the while looking at her with those intense eyes, casting those furtive glances in her direction when he thought she wasn't looking; melting down all those walls she'd built around her heart to protect herself.

She wanted to protect yourself from people like her father; who swore a lifetime of love then threw it away for some random travel agent. People like Shay who liked the idea of being a better person until they found it wasn't something not everyone would require.

You make this all go away
You make this all go away

"Don't," She said softly, pushing Tommy away from her and crossing her arms over her chest, "I'm over it, okay? I'm over you!"

He shook his head, his desperate eyes on hers, "We both know that's not true."

I just want something
I just want something I can never have

He grabbed her then, kissing her with three years of pent up passion and she prided herself on the fact that she only melted for one heart stopping second before wrenching away and slapping him. She was breathing deeply and glaring fire at him as she declared icily, "I said don't!"

He stepped back, nearly tripping over the fallen chair behind him. Raising his hands in surrender he uttered, "I'm sorry. Okay?"

She turned and pushed open the studio door and ran through the G-Major lobby, ignoring his desperate calls for her to wait.

In this place it seems like such a shame
Though it all looks different now I know it's still the same

She exited through the back alley. Running across the fire escape she navigated the slippery steps at a breakneck speed. She slipped on the last two steps and fell to her knees on the hard pavement.

She felt Tommy's arms around her waist as he gently pulled her up, checking her over to see if she was hurt.

No, not physically hurt; just her pride… and her heart.

Everywhere I look you're all I see
Just a fading reminder of who I used to be

Seeing the warning look in her eyes he took a step back, his hands falling away from her. She stood on the spot, tears stinging at her eyes as ice cold rain pelted into her skin with furious force.

She turned and started walking toward the street and the waiting car, her head bent forward against the blinding rain, her arms wrapped around her torso for additional warmth.

Come on, tell me
You make this all go away
You make this all go away

She knew he was following though she didn't once glance over her shoulder.

Don't look down. Don't look back.

I'm down to just one thing
And I'm starting to scare myself

She was on the street now, facing her old mustang and watching the rain slide over the windows, dripping down to the road. She sighed, her shoulders drooping and looked up into the dark night sky. The stars twinkled back at her, offering support and encouragement as she turned back to Tommy.

You make this all go away
You make this all go away

"How do I know I can believe you?" She asked her voice barely audible above the howling wind and the pattering of the rain.

He was surprised at her question but responded quickly, "I've given you a lot of useless words in the time we've known each other. I'm not going to do that again. Words are cheap right?"

She shrugged.

"Do you think you can trust me?"

I just want something
I just want something I can never have

She turned back to the car and he glanced over her shoulder and peered into the interior. "Where's Andrews?" He asked.

She shrugged and took a few steps toward him, "Choosing him would be the easy option, the safe option. Maybe that's my problem? I like taking risks, I like danger. I like looking for the best in people. Sure, I want that safe life with the boy next door when everything's easy and simple but I just want something I can never have." She looked up at him, "Because that world can't compare to you… and I choose you." She whispered the last words as she stood on the tip of her toes, reaching up to crash her lips into his as the rain continued to beat down upon them and every last ounce of doubt was washed away with the life giving water.

I just want something I can never have