Part 1

Chapter 1

Kakashi's Mansion

One morning, Naruto walked into Sasuke's room to a very strange sight. Sasuke was lying on his bed, completely naked, attempting, somehow, to make out with himself. Sasuke had always been "emo", but today was the day that he finally broke and went just a little bit nutty.

After pulling together his courage, Naruto edged slightly closer to Sasuke's bed and whispered, "Sasuke?"

Sasuke gave no indication that he had heard, or even that there was another human in the room.

"Uh… Sasuke?" Naruto said, a little bit louder. Sasuke still made no reaction. Naruto reached out tentatively and poked Sasuke gently on the shoulder, withdrawing quickly. Sasuke froze for a second, staring up at Naruto. Then, he jumped behind the bed and stood up, still naked, holding several various weapons. Shortly afterward, after a short but vicious affair involving two kunai, a blender, a plastic fork and a meat processor, Naruto and Sasuke were lying on Sasuke's bed together, mercifully covered by a blanket this time, engaging in yaoi sex.

Matt and Kat Nashida were cousins. Both had brown hair and brown eyes, but Matt was 8 days older and considerably taller. He was always teasing her about this, with the consequence that Matt's head was always sore (Kat liked to hit). They lived in a huge mansion (known as Kakashi's Mansion) on Name Street with Sakura, Sasuke, Naruto, Ino, Choji, Shikamaru, Tenten, Shino, Temari, Kiba, Neji, Hinata, Lee, Gaara, Kankuro, Kakashi-sensei and Iruka-sensei. As you can tell, life in such a Mansion was bound to be interesting.

Two houses down the row was the Akatsuki's house. In it lived a large number of S-ranked evil spies. Although Kakashi (who made most of the decisions) had forbidden them to go to anywhere near the Akatsuki's house, Kat had a strange weakness for a couple of the Akatsuki members, namely Itachi and Deidara, and stopped by after school most days, attributing her lateness to "walking slowly to enjoy the nature." However, the other members of the household could not help but wonder when she occasionally returned home wearing her shirt inside out, or with her headband mysteriously having gotten a slash through it (which would somehow disappear by the next day). Still, no one truly worried about Kat, because there was always too much else going on in the Mansion.

Kat was looking for Naruto. He didn't seem to be around today, and whatever he was doing, it was bound to be interesting in some way. Maybe he had found some way to break into Kakashi's stores of ice cream and cookies and lemon bars! There were other desserts there too, but ice cream, cookies, and lemon bars were Kat's favorites.

She walked aimlessly into Sasuke's room, where she heard strange moans and shuffling sounds coming from his bedroom. She carefully poked her head into the room and let out a little cry of surprise. You know what she saw. Fortunately, the boys were too involved to hear her cry. She edged away from the door, closing it quietly behind her, and walked off to write yaoi.

Matthew was participating in his favorite hobby… Homework! Yet, for some reason that he couldn't quite place his finger on, he wasn't able to concentrate as well as he usually could.

He paused in the middle of diagramming a sentence and looked up from his paper. It was the silence! Naruto was always running up and down the halls, and had never gone for more than 15 minutes without being beaten up by Kat for disturbing her peaceful writing of Fanfiction. He stood up and went to Naruto's room. It was empty. He ran downstairs to ask Kakashi if Naruto had gone out, but was distracted by a strange noise: moaning. He traced the sound to Sasuke's room, which had a large DO NOT DISTURB sign on it in Kat's messy handwriting. He listened more closely. It was two male voices, of that he was certain.

"Hmmm…" He made his way slowly toward Kat's room, where she undoubtedly sat in front of the computer, writing fanfiction. He knocked on her closed door.

"Come in," he heard Kat's voice say. He opened the door to see her sitting, as he had suspected, in front of her computer.

"Whaddaya want?" Kat was annoyed, as she usually was when she was writing fanfiction.

"Kat, what are Naruto and Sasuke doing?" Matt demanded.

"Writing a report," Kat replied instantly.

"On what?" Matt looked slightly disturbed.

Kat wasn't ready for that. "Uh… medieval torture devices," Kat said, playing with a strand of hair.

"Hmmm…" Matt said suspiciously, and walked out of the room.

Dinner that night was interesting as usual. Sasuke was sitting next to Naruto, for some strange reason. On Naruto's other side sat Kat, and the Matt. Tonight, Kat was working on what was apparently an especially interesting fanfiction, and Matt was a little bit miffed that she wasn't paying attention to him. He tried talking to Naruto instead, who was usually quite interesting, but today, he seemed distracted. His eyes kept straying toward Sasuke, and he appeared lost in thought. So Matt was forced to try to talk with Hinata, but she was busy contemplating how best to tell Naruto she loved him, and didn't make for good conversation.

Then, about halfway through the meal, Kat was writing away when she heard someone burst out laughing behind her. Kiba had been reading over her shoulder.

"What… the… fuck… is… that!" he shouted, rolling on the floor and laughing. Kat turned beet-red and immediately hid her fanfiction under the table.

Neji activated his Byakugan and stared through the table at her fanfiction. A moment later, he started choking very loudly.

"Dei… da… ra…" he managed to wheeze while choking and laughing at the same time.

Once Kiba had returned to his seat and Neji's airway had been cleared, Kakashi stood slowly up and walked over to Kat.

"Fanfiction," he said quietly, holding out his hand. Kat turned redder and passed the fanfiction to Matt under the table.

"Why thank you, Kat," Matt said politely, and passed the fanfiction to Kakashi.

"Why… you…" Kat said, and smacked him, but the damage was done. Kakashi read the fanfiction with lightning speed, and then looked up at Kat.

"Well, we appear-"

He was broken off by another outburst of choking from Neji. He was trying to say something, but he was choking so hard that it came out "Nalgox!"

Kat hurried around to Neji, dodging Kakashi's half-hearted attempt to stop her, and whispered in Neji's ear:

"What did you see?"

Between coughs, Neji replied, "Sasuke and Naruto are holding hands under the table!"

"Don't tell anyone, please!" Kat whispered.

Neji tried to give Kat a suspicious look, but failed horribly, as he was coughing too hard.

"O-okay," he managed to whisper.

Kat walked back to her chair, where Kakashi was standing, looking very ominous. He waited until Lee had finished thumping Neji on the back, and then said, "Well, we appear to have an Akatsuki admirer in the Mansion." Several people giggled; Hinata gasped, and Naruto groaned.

"But… no…" Kat tried to argue feebly and turned a stunning shade of violet.

"If you don't like the Akatsuki, then how can you explain this?" He cleared his throat and read from the paper in his hand.

"'"No…" Amaya moaned. "Don't leave me." Deidara's fingers slipped through hers, and he was gone.

"'"Deidara!" she shouted. "Deidara, I love you!"'"

At least half of the people around the table were laughing now, but Kakashi and Iruka both glared down at her, their faces as hard as stone.

Kakashi glanced at Iruka, with whom he shared the head of the table, and back at Kat.

"You may return to your dinners," he announced to the room at large, not taking his eyes off Kat. He and Iruka walked off together into the kitchen.

The whole table was buzzing with conversation now. Everyone was talking about Kat and Deidara; only Kat herself was quiet. She was trying to ignore everyone, her head on the table. Even Matt was ignoring her, talking with Naruto, and only glancing back at Kat every few minutes to make sure that she was still there. He was disappointed that not only had she written that stuff, she had allowed herself to be caught with it, too. She should have kept it in her room, at the very least.

After everyone was done with dinner, Kat retreated to her room, hoping to avoid the wrath of Kakashi, even at the price of losing dessert. She failed horribly. As she turned the corner of the landing, she saw Kakashi barring the hallway a few feet ahead. She squeaked and turned around, deciding that dessert might not be so bad after all. She had made it down two steps when she felt Kakashi's iron hand on her shoulder. She squeaked again and blushed.

"Let's go to your room," suggested Kakashi.

"Whatever you say," said Kat, her voice at least three octaves above normal.

"Did you say something? You sound like you're practicing to be a bat," Kakashi said, but evidently he had understood, because he wheeled her around and walked her to her room. Now, she was starting to feel a little bit nauseous. Kakashi walked into her room as though it was his own, and invited her to sit down on her bed next to him.

"So," he said calmly, "I want to ask you a few questions."

"Sure," Kat squeaked.

"First of all, have you ever been to the Akatsuki house?"

"Um, well," Kat was playing with her hair again. "Not really, well, you see, I mean, um, maybe? I mean, no."

"I see," said Kakashi slowly. "Perhaps we'll come back to that one later. Have you ever had a conversation with an Akatsuki member?"

"Well… Uh…" she felt like she was going to be sick. If she answered truthfully, she would get in trouble, but she had never lied before, and was obviously very bad at it. "I… um… no?"

"Kat, is there a reason that I don't believe you?" Kakashi sounded stern now.

Kat turned red, which stood out, considering she had been as pale as Orochimaru.

"Maybe," she muttered.

Kakashi sighed. "Well, I tried. What do we need to do to you?" He sighed again. "Maybe it would be best if we had someone escort you when you're outside. And seal your window shut. That should be good enough." He stood up, slowly turned, and walked out of the room.

Kat ran to the bath room. She was definitely sick.

Editor's Note: Lolz. :) This chapter always makes me laugh. This fanfic actually started when Matt-kun wanted to show me a pairing I had never seen before - SasukexSasuke. And it somehow turned into a SasuNaru. And KatxDeidara. And... -giggles- Also, I'm actually working on the fanfic Matt so nicely stuck in this one. Well, now I'm working on it. He gave me the idea.

-glares at Matt- Appearently he has nothing to say... So, no author's note this time, but I have the full discription!! :D

Description: Here it is, my very first fanfiction! Since the original purpose of this fanfiction was to give a crack description of a year of life with all the Naruto characters (hence the title), it doesn't have mush of a plot. But that's okay, because my best friend Kat (/~katninja) likes it. I tried to make it as funny as possible, and it spawned from a short story I wrote in an attempt to make a yaoi that no one had ever seen before (Sasuke-Sasuke), so it ended up being a little perverted (see my profile). Anyway, I hope that you like it...