A/N: I cannot be the only one who noticed the way Rachel holds on to Mike as they sing One of Us in Grilled Cheesus, can I? Or they way she looks back at Mike and Tina at the beginning of the song, and his eyes flick to her for a second? This was written in response to that. Originally intended as a drabble for my collection, but then it got too long.
Let me know what you think!
Glee is not mine.
She stands on the stage next to Puck, unable to believe that they are singing this song, this song that once meant everything to her. As her friend begins to sing, she is overcome by nostalgia, and Rachel can't help but turn her head back toward Mike, and smiles when he looks up and his eyes immediately find hers. They both look away after a split second. They had been best friends once, and as the song progresses, they are both transported back to an earlier, simpler (though not easier) time.
"Mike?" Her twelve year old voice is soft, and she hesitates in the door to his room, unsure of her welcome. He is lying on his bed, staring unblinkingly at the ceiling as the radio plays quietly in the background.
"It's not fair," he says quietly. He doesn't look at her, but it is all the invitation she needs, and in seconds she is on her side next to him. "This was never supposed to happen."
"I know, Mikey," she comforts. "I'm so sorry."
"He just started college, Ray. He was supposed to come back in two weeks for Christmas, and he was going to tell me all about California." His voice is hoarse from grief, and she can see the shimmer of tears in his eyes. "And now I'm never going to see him again."
Her heart breaks for the boy beside her, and she wishes could she say something to take away his pain. But there are no words that will make his brother come back to life, and so she has to settle for reaching between them and taking her best friend's hand in her own, squeezing it briefly.
He rolls onto his side to face her, and she aches in sympathy at the raw pain in his expression. "You know I'm here for you, Mikey, for whatever you need. Always."
He nods. "You'll be my best friend forever, Ray." They smile at each other, confident in their promises to each other as only children can be.
"Is there. . ." she pauses, uncertain. "Is there anything I can do for you?"
He looks at her through the tears pooled in his eyes. "Sing to me?"
"Of course," she smiles. A new song has just started on the radio, and it seems strangely fitting. Right on cue, she opens her mouth and sings, her voice soft and sweet. "If God had a name, what would it be and would you call it to his face?"
By the end of the song, he is openly crying, but he holds tight to her hand, and he tugs her closer as the last note fades away. She cuddles in close to him, and he wraps her arm around her as though she is a lifeline. Even as the boy in him hates that he is actually crying and needs this kind of comfort, a small voice in the back of his head whispers how right this feels, tells him never to let go.
For a couple of years after that day, that was their song, sung by one of them whenever the other was feeling down. But then high school had started, and they had been thrown into McKinley along with the kids from the other two middle schools in town. He had joined the football team, she had joined the drama club, and they slowly began to drift apart.
Still, there are times when she catches him staring at her, and times when he offers her a ride home because they both live considerably farther away from school than the others. If he sees her post-slushy, he always helps her clean up, and he does his best to deter the attacks in the first place. They smile at each other in the hallways, and she misses him.
The song continues, and when she finds herself standing next to him on stage, she reaches down impulsively and holds on to his arm as she sings, the touch of his skin on hers bringing feelings she had thought long buried roaring back to the surface. In all their years of friendship, she never said anything to him about her crush on him, despite her candid announcement to his mother when they were five that they were going to get married.
He glances down at her at the end of the number, grabbing her hand and giving it a quick squeeze before letting go, his eyes fraught with emotion. Then his girlfriend is calling him from the exit to the auditorium, and she sees the conflict in his eyes as they continue to stare at each other. She smiles sadly, because he has Tina, and she has Finn, and the timing for her old feelings to be resurrected couldn't be more terrible.
She motions for him to go to Tina, and his eyes darken as he lifts a hand to gently push her curls out of her face before turning to catch up with his girlfriend. He is halfway up the steps to the exit when he pauses to turn and look back down at her. She is still standing on the stage, her eyes sad, but she manages a smile when he stops and they lock eyes.
"Always, Mikey," she mouths at him.
The corner of his mouth quirks upward at her words, and he smiles back down at her. "Forever, Ray."