Sincerely Yours Forevah!
Well, here's the legal version. Enjoy!
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So it has come to my all-knowing, all-seeing attention, that my beloved fan letters through the form of a fanfic have been removed. Flabbergasted, I held my lazy editor by kunai-point, demanding her to upload the chapters once more. The otaku just shrugged, and told me "interactivity between the writer and the reader isn't allowed apparently. Besides, my computer deleted all my old files."
I went up to my Uchiha fan-covered room and sat on my fan-covered bed with its plushy fan-covered pillows, contemplating.
No, not about my family's awesome fans. About what to do.
You see, I've grown accustomed to…(shudder). To actually conversing with rabid fangirls. It's sorta…addictive. Hell knows what'll happen if I don't get my fix.
So I thought. And thought. And thought. And then I fanned myself, while I thought some more.
Finally to break the silence, my brother dearest coughed. "Y'know Sasuke, your editor probably already has a solution."
"Pfht. How could a mere mortal comprehend what the great Sasuke can't?"
"(Sigh.) Just go."
So I visited the Lazy One, and questioned her. "Yeah, I've got a solution." Even more flabbergasted, I listened to my editor's plan. "So basically…you're gonna get all my friends and enemies to write letters to me?"
"Yep."
"And then the reviewers could send in questions that a character could ask, or they could request a character?"
"Yep."
"Wow…that's genius!"
"I know. Okay, I'm gonna go on vacation now, bye!"
". . ."
With nothing to do, I, Sasuke "teh MAN!" Uchiha will organize the first chapter of the Sincerely yours Remix. Now all I gotta do is harass a few people, then we'll have some letters!
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Dear Sasuke,
Hey man, heard you were in need of some letters.
Could you do me a favour and check my email for me? Kabuto and me are going grave digging till 9. I'm expecting an important email from Karin. She…um…well, I won't go too much into it. Bye!
Yours truly,
Itachi.
Dear Itachi,
Congrats bro, you're mah first customer.
Email?! Do I look like some sorta slave to you?! Argh…fine, I'll do it anyway.
…
…
…Wow.
I…never would've guessed you and Karin were…y'know…FRIENDS.
I can't believe you're hanging out with her! What about the "bros before nin-hos" pact we made?! I am so never gonna talk to you again!
Sincerely yours,
Sasuke.
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Yo Sasuke,
Guess what man? I just developed Mangekyo Sharingan by killing Gai. Awesome huh? Well, I'm gonna go now, and Tsukuyomi myself into Iruka's pants!
See ya never,
Kakashi.
Dear perverted sensei,
Oh gawd. My eyes are burning from the inside with just the thought of your actions. I hope Iruka finds out about this, and drowns you in your own fluids.
Sincerely disgusted,
Sasuke.
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WHOOOOOO! WHHHHOOOOOOOOOOO!
Guess what Sasuke-kun! Kakashi killed me, the sly fox! Now I'm eternally youthful! Yay! WHOOOOOOOO!! WHOOOOOOO!! Man, I'm really good at this ghost stuff! I just youthfully dropped by to ask you for a teeny favour. Seeing as I'm a ghost, I can't use my dumbbells or my weights anymore, So I'd like you to have them! No need to thank me, my youthful young friend. Just promise to help Lee out once in a while, that handsome devil can get into love problems with the ladies.
Farwell for now!
Gai's ghost.
Dear Gai's ghost,
Hmm, interesting. What might be the value of said exercise equipment? (evil eye glint)
Lee gets into…love problems? Tch. How can you have love problems when there's no one who loves you?
…BURN!
Sincerely your King of Ownage,
Sasuke.
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Dear BFF,
Ummm…not to alarm you or anything, but I've just been captured by the Akatsuki. Could you run down their hideout and rescue me? I'd really appreciate it. Yeah…anytime would do, but preferably now would be great, because…yeah, I think they're trying to kill me…
Hopefully alive still,
Naruto.
Dearest Naru-chan,
Wow. I leave you alone for one minute and look what happens! Don't worry my precious uke! I'm-a coming!
Sincerely your seme,
Sasuke.
Dear BFF (or not),
Hey Sasuke! Good news, you don't have to rescue me anymore!
I happened to walk into- well not really walk into per se, Sai burst through the hideout door looking for love, and he just picked me up as a side-quest I guess.
I was pretty weak from all the mind-numbing torture, so Sai had to carry me all the way to Konoha…afterwards he gave me a back-rub, and helped me take off my clothes for a shower because I was still in a state of shock. Thanks to his care, I regained most of my motor skills! Oh, gotta run, it's time for Sai to feed me dinner. It's hilarious, the guy phails so bad in the kitchen that the only thing he can make is strawberries in whipped cream. Funny, huh?
Love, Naruto.
Dearest BFF,
Oh.
Erm, I'm really happy for you. (sniffle)
Excuse me, I have to go angst in my bathroom.
Sincerely heartbroken,
Sasuke.
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Dear Naruto's ex-BFF,
Hello, my adversary. (Smirk) Looks like Naruto seems to favour me more now, doesn't it? Heh…just dropped by to return the Loveless mangas you lent Naru-chan…mines' are in better condition.
Smug and smexy,
Sai.
Dear ugly rival,
Puh-lease. Naruto doesn't have a clue what your gestures mean, and only thinks of you as his creepy friend. I, on the other hand, am worth training 3 years with a perverted toad man for. Heck, Orochimaru's more likely to do the tango with Tsunade on Zabuza's grave, then Naruto loving you more than me.
Smuger and sassier,
Sasuke.
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Want more? Need more? Then review! And remember, don't send in letters, send in requests!
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