Disclaimer: Don't own them, never will...

A/N: Hey, this is my first fic ever. This is a Sara/other eventually C/S pairing. Thanks for reading! Hope you like it! Oh, I'm not a native speaker.

From beneath you…

It was a beautiful day in June. It was a rather special day, actually it was the longest day of the year. The day that introduced the summer, the good times, vacation,…and more specific my birth. I'm still not sure whether I'm a child of spring or summer. Anyway, in 1971 people were too high to know whether it was spring or summer. My parents named me Sara, after Sara Garcia, a great actress. I'm glad they named me Sara and not Moonray or something like that. My parents run a B&B in Tamales Bay, California. It wasn't a class star B&B, but they had enough visitors to get food on the table. The entire B&B breathed flower power. And with that I don't mean just the people who visited but you could smell the 'flower power' from miles away. Maybe that's why I can't remember that much of those years. My parents always seemed happy. The perfect little family, they and my brother.

11 years had passed and then they decided just like that, to have another baby. They said that I was actually planned and that my brother Matt was the accident. That they had to marry because of him. The only thing I can say about that is, where's the love? Even if it would happen to me, I would never marry a guy because I got pregnant, but those were the days that when you got pregnant you had to marry and that's what they did. I never knew why they waited 11 years… Maybe my brother got too old for…I don't know and actually, I don't care. I don't remember much of my childhood, some little things but nothing worth mentioning and I can't say that the only things I remember are happy things either.

My earliest memory…I believe it was my first day of school… I was 5 years old… I was so happy to go… meet other kids, play, learn and the most important of them all… away from home. I was always home, I didn't know any other kids, I wasn't allowed to play outside, so you can understand why I was so happy. I just loved school, it was something I was actually good at. I even skipped a grade, I went straight to the second grade. My parents didn't care. When I was gone they were happy. I really couldn't understand back then why that was, when I grew older… It doesn't matter anymore. My parents were always drunk or high or both. I was too young to understand…until I was 7.

It was March, I still remember it, I thought it was gone forever…A friend of mine (yes, I really had friends now), Angie, was moving to another country! She was my best friend! I remember I was angry at first, but later I understood why she had to move. Her parents were originally from the Netherlands and they decided to go back in March….March that is when it al begun. I went to Angie, to say goodbye. My mother told me that I couldn't stay away too long because the rooms needed to be cleaned. If I wanted to eat at night, I had to work for it, nothing is for free. That was one of the finer lessons they taught me. An hour, that's what she gave me! My best friend moved and never came back and all she gave me was ONE HOUR!! I smiled and said thank you, I turned around and started to run. She lived 10 minutes from my home, so the faster I ran, the longer I could see her.

Her house was so different than mine. They had a nice front garden with flowers…so many flowers. It was like a rainbow. Between those flowers you could see a path. I ran over the path to the door. Above the door hung a 'Welcome home' sign. It almost felt like I was home. Her parents were so nice. They always gave us milk and cookies. When you would see my 'garden' you would say that it was more like a desert. Sand everywhere, stones, cars,… But at the far end of the 'garden' was a big tree, and there was grass and some flowers. It was like an oasis. I always felt safe there, it was my little place. I even had a tree house. Made for me by.. who else than myself. I was really proud when I finally finished my tree house. My parents said it was absorbing too much of my time and threatened to break it down if I didn't do what they asked.

When I arrived at her home, she was already waiting for me. Every time I walked into her house I felt happy. The house was very bright and friendly. Her mother always said hello even if she was in the backyard. And she always talked to me like I was important, she always wanted to know everything. Angie and I went upstairs to her room. She had a beautiful room. I remember I was even jealous about that. My room was dark, her room bright. I had a thing that some people called bed. She had a big bed with beautiful sheets. I had a window to entertain me, she had a TV. But I had something she didn't have and that were books. I hid them in the back of my tiny closet. We sat on her bed and we talked and talked…and laughed and cried. She gave me her new address and she promised to write and if she could, call. I promised the same. I looked at my watch… Still 23 minutes to go. Make that 13 because I still had to run home. I really didn't want to go, she meant everything to me, she was my best friend. I was just staring at her when she talked, I tried to memorize everything so I could remember her better when I got older.

I was brought out of my stare when we heard loud banging on the door. Angie's dad opened the door…that voice…NO!...not that voice…Angie talked to me but I couldn't hear her, the only thing I heard was his voice…

"WHERE ARE YOU???!!!"

I was so scared that I could faint. The only other time when I heard that voice ended with my mom crying. And the next day she had a bruise somewhere. I felt like a robot. I didn't want to move but something drew me to that voice.

I turned to Angie "I'm sorry, got to go, bye…" was the only thing I said to her. "Don't forget me!" was all she said.

I never forgot her. I went downstairs, everything was a blur. Angie's dad told him to stay calm and that 'she' will be down within minutes. I just had to obey that demanding voice. Even if I wanted to run, I couldn't. 7 steps and I would see him, 7 steps to my road to hell, 7 steps from the biggest change in my life, 7 big steps that I didn't dare to take. On step 7 I promised myself that it wasn't my fault and it would never be mine, on step 6 that it wouldn't be that bad because hey, it's me Sara, on step 5 that I was stupid to think that it would happen to me, on step 4 that whatever happened someday the sun will shine again, on step 3 that I really should see a doctor because I'm not doomed to failure, on step 2 that in case I still wanted to be alive I really should breathe and on step 1 that from that day on I would never be like them.

He was still there, shouting to Angie's dad. By the tone of his voice I could hear he was drunk, again. I looked at my watch. I'm not late, still 16 minutes. I still needed to turn the corner and then I would finally face him. At some point I really wished it was God that I would face. Thinking about that seeing on how things went further, I would say that I almost faced God. Okay, here goes nothing!

I turned around the corner and immediately I felt his gaze. I didn't dare to look up. Maybe he was just angry with mom, maybe with Tom from the bar, maybe with…

"What are you doing here!!! You're supposed to clean the rooms! Can't you remember one little task!!!"

Just leave the maybes, he was angry with me. He never had been angry with me. I was always his little girl, I would make him proud! One day I would be the queen of the world, that's what he told me.

"Listen you spoiled brat, you better be home before I get there! Otherwise…" He looked at Angie's dad and back at me.

"Go!" Angie's dad said something to my dad but I couldn't understand what he was saying. The only thing I could think of was to get home…and fast!

I never looked back. Never. I ran out the door, through the garden, that beautiful garden with those beautiful flowers. I ran as fast as I could. I looked at the street, he was with his car! That means that he would be home in less than 5 minutes. I could never be home before him! I really think that I broke the world record then. I ran over the fields, the nice path with trees, the street where my teacher lives, I passed old Maurice's place and my uncle's workplace. One corner and I would be home.

I turned the corner and…NO! I'm too late!! He's already home!! I could have stopped running, but my legs ran even faster. I stood in front of my house with the broken porch, the filthy brown door with a broken glass and a sign that says: 'only cash'. Yeah 'nice' I know, but it was my home. I opened the door and stepped inside. In the room stood: my mother who was crying, my brother who looked like someone dearly died and my uncle who looked at the ceiling. Oh yeah, and how could I forget, my father who looked, well, beyond furious. I didn't understand, what were they doing here? My mother and brother yeah, I could understand that, but my uncle?

"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!!! THAT YOU COULD GO OUT AND PLAY? YOU'RE NO LONGER A BABY, YOU HAVE HANDS, YOU CAN WORK!! PLAYTIME IS OVER FOR YOU, YOU DIRTY LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT!!

I know his vocabulary wasn't that great but he spoke English or something like it, he was drunk so talking was difficult. I was already crying, he never yelled at me. Before I could even answer him there was a BANG! I fell on the floor. He hit me!!! Why? I didn't do anything wrong, did I? "Why did you go there?" I got up again, my head hurt really bad.

"I…" BANG! Once again he hit me, but now on the other side of my head.

"Don't talk to me, you're too stupid to talk!" I fell on the floor again.

The others just watched and stood there. My mother cried even harder, my brother looked like he felt the pain and my uncle just stood there like a statue.

"From now on the only times you'll leave this house, is to go to school or to go to the shop! Understood!" I got up again.

"Yea.." I couldn't finish the sentence, he pushed me! I fell with my head against the cupboard. I was crying so hard that I didn't shed tears anymore. I didn't have the time to get up.

"I told you, retard, that you need to shut up!" Where did all the air go? I can't breath. Help? Not that they would come and rescue me. He was kicking me in the ribs. Now that I think about it, what kind of coward is he, kicking people when they are down!! I was counting: 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, … I don't know why I did that, maybe to forget the pain. He stopped at 12.

"I hope you'll learn that from now on things will be different, bitch. You're going to work for me and your mother, just like Matt, isn't that so Mattie boy?" Matt immediately answered "Yes sir!"

"Good boy! You see Stupid, oh that's your name by the way, if I call for Moron and Stupid then I mean your brother and you, remember that. And if you would like to walk again, Stupid, I would stop crying! Babies cry, weak people cry, a Sidle never cries! Now get up Stupid and go to work, Moron will tell you what to do." He wasn't even angry anymore.

He talked to me like I was an object. No, sorry, even that is too good, more like a dog or a donkey. My brother helped me to get up and walked with me to the kitchen. He was going to tell me something that would change my life forever.

My brother… He almost turned 18. My big brother, who would protect me from any evil. He always told me that. He never went to college, he stayed at the B&B. I remember that he once told me that when he was all grown up, he would like to be a lawyer or maybe a police officer. Well what a change of careers! I once heard him saying to his friend that he would probably die in Tam Bay. He didn't have much friends. The only friend I know he had was Dan. They were friends for as long as I can remember. Matt didn't have a girlfriend or at least, not that I was aware of. I think he was scared to have a girlfriend, scared that the parents would find out.

"Sar?" He called out for me. Every part of my body hurt. He looks at me and I don't see pity in his eyes, I see anger and hate and… understanding? I look away.

"Sar, look at me. I have to tell you something, you need to know. I know you are young, but you need to know. You are smart, Sar, never forget that, you are 7 and even now already you are smarter than the most of us. If someone tells you that you are stupid, remember that I told you that you are not. Never forget that!" I never forgot.

I sit on a kitchen chair, Matt is looking at the bruises that are starting to form. I still think that he could be a doctor. He knew always what to do when I had bruises, scars, pain, scratches and so on. He took some ice out of the refrigerator and wraps it in a towel. "Here, for your head." It still hurt when I thought about it. He walked over to a kitchen cupboard. It was an ugly kitchen. The cupboards were acid green, with a blood red sink, a blue refrigerator and a black dining table and chairs. Really, the person that decorated the place should be shot. Matt gives me a tube of something.

"It's something for the bruises, put it on them." I still hadn't said a word. I'm scared that if I said something he would be back. Silence is better, silence is good, silence means no pain.

"Sar, stay focused. Look at me. Does the light hurts?" The only thing I could do, was nod. "I'm sorry, sis. I'm so sorry. I wanted to take you and run, but I couldn't, I just couldn't!" Matt never cried. Never. Not a single tear was ever shed from his eyes.

"I have to tell you a story, remember every word I say, maybe you can help yourself, you are smart enough." Matt's story begins in 1958, my uncle was 12 years old. He tells me that my uncle lived with my mother. He is her brother. My grandparents died in a car crash and my mom was his legal guardian, so she took care of him. It were a hard times, but they could manage. In August 1959 mom met my dad. Everything was great, they really loved each other. In November my mother told my dad that she was pregnant and they decided to get married. From the day they were married things changed. He started to drink. And when he was drunk, he would hit mom. My uncle saw this once. From that day on, whenever he was drunk, he beat up my mom and my uncle. When Matt was born everything changed again. He turned into a loving husband and father. At least for a few months. They had just bought the B&B. Most of the costumers were real hippies. They lived of love and peace. I still think it's a misprint and that it should be love and weed. The customers paid with drugs and some paid with money. My dad started to use and my mother followed him. It didn't take long before they were using coke. My uncle tried to keep the B&B running and actually bring in some money. He took a second job at the age of 15. My dad still hit him and my mother. When he wasn't high he was drunk and vice versa. Matt was 3 years old and my dad really loved him. He gave him everything he wanted and more, but he never laid a hand on him, never shouted, never… my uncle moved out when he was 17. Around that time he met my auntie and she got pregnant and…yeah well you know the rest of the story. Matt was 6. My father lost a good and cheap employee, so he had to replace him. Now it was Matt's turn. The beating, the hurt, the pain,…he was even younger than I was! Matt gave me some 'tips', things I needed to know to be safer. Matt learned a lot during the years, he could tell when dad would hit him or mom, what he did to be safe. That sometimes it was better to lock yourself in the basement and stay there for a few hours, if necessary a few days. But he gave me one golden rule: never talk about it, with anyone. I didn't understand, he talked to Dan. Matt said that when I got older there might be someone special, a best friend or maybe a boyfriend I could talk to, but for now…no one. I just nodded. And then Matt told me the worst thing anyone could ever tell me.

"Sar, I'm moving out. Dan and I are going to New York and work there. I'm sorry." I asked him to take me with him, but he refused. He said that it would be better for both of us if I stayed. He said that he would come back for me.

He gave me a red crayon. "Take this and put it somewhere safe, you know, a secret place. Find a secret place in your room and put on that wall 365 lines, like this. Every day you have to strike out one. When they are all crossed, I'll be back to take you with me. Can you do that?" Again a nod.

"Now here's a list. You have to do this every day. Never forget a single thing. Never ask them anything, just do it. Never stay away to long, always come home immediately when school is out. Never bring friends home. Never ask questions. If dad asks you something, you will say yes sir. If you need anything, you'll find it in the kitchen. If you need a place to hide, remember, the basement or my room, okay. After uncle moved out, he never set foot in that room again, so I suppose it will be the same. Now go to your room and try to sleep. Never forget that I love you with all my heart, lil' sis, you are brave and strong, you are a survivor and most of all, you are smart, kid, never forget." I never forgot. That night he moved out. I never saw him again. I took the pencil out of my pocket and wrote above my window one word: FREEDOM.

It's my first time so...R&R please, it would help me a lot! Thanks for reading!