I turned forty-one on the day she turned five . I'd always found it somewhat amusing that the two of us shared a birthday; if anything, it made for less confusion and made it somewhat easy to remember, if only for Kai's sake. This particular birthday was, for some reason, more amusing than the others, the reason being that I was no longer ten times my daughter's age, the way I had been last year. Needless to say, it wasn't something that Abby failed to mention, as she and Rose and I sat on the back porch, watching the kids in the backyard.
"That's just weird," she told me, "I mean, have you ever thought about it?"
"Abby, I haven't thought about my birthday in particular since I turned thirty," I said, "I don't see why it's so weird to you."
"Well, it is kind of rare for a parent to have the same birthday as a child," said Rose. I rolled my eyes.
"You two might want to find Gwen and ask her about that one, then, 'cause I have no idea how that one happened," I said. Abby smirked.
"Of course you don't," she said dryly, "You don't know how anything happens."
"I know how Kai ended up with me," I retorted, "I'd say that's about all that matters right now."
"We all know how she ended up with you," said Rose, "And we all know she isn't going anywhere."
Not if I had anything to do with it, anyway. As far as I was concerned, Kai's mother had already made her decision: she hadn't wanted her, but I did. I wondered briefly why Gwen had even bothered having Kai in the first place and felt guilty.
"You all right?" Abby asked, waving a hand in front of my face. "You've got this weird look on your face…"
"I was just thinking," I said vaguely.
"Uh-oh," said Rose, but she was smirking at me, so I ignored her until she went on. "About what?"
"About why Gwen even bothered staying pregnant if all she was gonna do was drop Kai off on me," I admitted, not really wanting to get into this conversation, but it was too late to get out of it now.
"Why the hell would you bother thinking about something like that?" Abby asked. "Honestly, John, why would you go around with that in your head?"
"Don't tell me you honestly think I mean to say that Gwen should've just been done with it when she found out," I shot back.
"She doesn't," said Rose, before Abby could say anything further, "And neither do I. But you do have to admit that it is a strange thought to have on your kid's birthday, not to mention yours."
I knew that already, but didn't feel like pointing this out to Rose, who must've noticed, because she poured a glass of lemonade and handed it to me. I took a sip and glanced out to where the kids where. Kai and Michelle had discovered the sprinkler and had put it under the trampoline, where Liana was, lying on her back in a bathing suit. Abby and Rose had discovered something else to talk about, and didn't notice, but I did. Kai came sidling over as Michelle disappeared from view.
"What're you doing?" she asked, reaching with both hands for the glass I had. I held it away from her.
"I'm sitting with Abby and Rose," I replied, "What do you say?"
"Can I have a sip?" she asked. I nodded, and handed her the glass.
"Where'd Michelle go?" I asked. Kai shrugged.
"I don't know," she said, in that vague way that told me she knew exactly where Michelle had gone. Liana yelled suddenly, and Abby and Rose and I looked out to the yard to find that the sprinkler had mysteriously gone on. Laughter from the side of the house gave Michelle away. Rose rolled her eyes.
"Michelle, come here a minute, will you?" she said loudly. Michelle came into view, and Kai set the glass in her hands onto the table before climbing up into my lap and leaning back against me.
"Little distraction," I said, ruffling her hair, "You knew exactly where Michelle was, didn't you?"
No answer. Kai had discovered the lemonade pitcher and had come this close to tipping it over in an attempt to lift it. I sighed.
"Let me do that," I said, reaching for it. Kai watched as the glass filled again and took it when I set the pitcher down.
"Thanks," she said, her voice muffled by the rim of the glass. I laughed. This day might've started out as odd, but it was slowly getting better, if only marginally.
"Don't drink too much or you'll get sick," I said. She eyed me over the glass and then looked at Rose.
"Am I really gonna get sick if I drink too much?" she asked.
"Depends on what you're drinking," said Abby. Rose gave her a look.
"Yeah, you will," she said, "Slow it down, kid."
"OK." Kai took one last sip and shoved the glass at me before sliding off of my lap and running off. I watched her go, and then leaned back, shaking my head.
"I'd have taken her anyway," I said. Abby and Rose exchanged looks.
"That was out of the blue," said Rose, "What prompted that one?"
"I don't know," I said, "I just…I'd have taken her even if Gwen had showed up and given her up instead of just leaving her there on my damn doorstep."
"We know you would have," said Abby, "You don't have to tell us that."
"Yeah, well…" The sun was in my eyes. I lifted a hand to block it and sighed. "Now that I've got her…it's not the thought of dying on the streets that scares me, it's the thought of leaving her behind. And the thought of losing her. I don't…I don't think I'd be sitting here right now if it weren't for her."
"No, you'd be at work and Abby would get to see you every day, and I'd be lucky to see you once a month," Rose quipped. All three of us laughed, and Abby pushed at my foot under the table.
"So, you gonna explain what's behind the sudden sentiments, or am I going to have to get Meldrick to beat it out of you?" she asked. I shrugged.
"I was just thinking, that's all," I said. "It's been kind of odd today; don't ask why, 'cause I Couldn't' tell you. And I just…I think it'd have been a lot worse if I hadn't had Kai around."
"What'd she do, trip over untied shoelaces again?" Rose asked.
"You should've seen her when I got up this morning," I said. "Apparently, Michelle attempted to teach her how to make pancakes or something, I couldn't tell what it was, but she tried, and it didn't work."
"That can't have helped whatever mood you were in," said Abby, "You didn't yell at her, did you?"
"No. We ended up getting into a water fight while we were cleaning up. That's what took us so long coming to meet the lot of you this morning."
"Figured it was something like that," said Rose, "That's exactly what happened last year."
"No, last year she found her way into the flour at Kay's place, because we stopped there first so Kay could give her whatever it was she'd gotten her, and it got everywhere," I said, "That was almost funny. You should've seen Kay's face."
"Four is one of those ages, though," said Rose, shaking her head as she poured more lemonade into her own glass. "They're adorable, and you love 'em, but sometimes, they're a pain."
"And what's three, then?" I asked, dryly, as Abby laughed. Rose shrugged.
"Three is three," she said, "They're not exactly babies, but they're right in the middle, because they're not old enough to start any sort of school yet…"
"A perfect age, then," said Abby, "Not too old, almost too young…"
"Convinced they know everything, even if they don't…Oh, wait, no, that's just Kai…" I said.
"Well, if you'd disagree with her once in a while," said Rose.
"D'you have any idea how much of a pain it is to argue with her? She's worse than I am." I replied.
"I wonder why," said Abby. A red and blue blur came shooting past us, dripping wet, followed by a green and yellow one.
"Don't look at me," said Rose, "I might be around her most of the time, but I had nothing to do with it."
"Sure you didn't," said Abby, "You know better than either one of us that the early years are the most impressionable ones."
"Yeah, and that reminds me," I said, pushing at Rose's foot with my own, "What've you been telling her when I'm not around?"
"I haven't been telling her anything," said Rose, with a pointed look at Abby, "Why?"
"Because she asked me yesterday if getting knocked up was where kids come from," I said. "She just turned five. She doesn't need to be asking me that just yet."
"She really…I told her not to say anything…" said Abby, shaking her head as she laughed. "She must've heard me talking to Gee."
"The hell were you talking to Gee about getting knocked up for?" I demanded, startled. "You're not pregnant, are you?"
"Hell no," said Abby, "Had something to do with an old case, ask Crosetti. He was there."
"I'll bet," I said. The red and blue blur came back out of the house, slowing down beside me and tugging at my sleeve.
"What d'you want?" I asked, reaching down and lifting Kai back up into my lap, ignoring the fact that she was still dripping, and I was in work clothes.
"Can I have more lemonade?" she asked. I handed her my glass, which was still half full from the last time she'd come around. She drained what was left, and then settled back against me, yawning.
"You ready to go home, kid?" I asked. She shook her head.
"I wanna stay here." she said.
Of course she did. Given the choice, I doubted she'd ever leave willingly. The sun was starting to set, painting the sky above Charm City in shades of orange and purple and blue. Kai had fallen asleep in my arms, her face hidden in my shirt. The day's events had worn her out, and I felt almost guilty, knowing that I would not be there when she woke up again in a few hours. The first shift had been delegated to the night run again.
"Penny for your thoughts?" Rose asked, and I looked up.
"You ever find it odd how when you get to a certain age, you start thinking about everything about those closer to you that are younger?" I asked.
"What d'you mean?" Abby asked in reply.
I motioned down at Kai. "Like today," I said, "Here we are, forty-one years old, thinking on the age of five, and things are so much more different now than they were for us."
"If only we could keep 'em this way forever," said Rose, glancing out at her own children. "Innocent, carefree…"
"Tell me about it." The sky had started to darken. I glanced at my watch and sighed, rising to my feet.
"I take it you have to go," said Rose, as she and Abby followed suit.
"Unfortunately," I said, brushing Kai's still damp hair out of her face. "You don't mind keeping her for me, do you?"
"Do we ever?" Abby asked. I offered up a faint smile and kissed the top of Kai's head before handing her off to Rose, and reaching for my jacket.
"Duty calls," I said dryly. Rose shifted Kai in her arms and followed me into the house.
"You all right?" she asked. I nodded.
"Yeah, I'm fine," I said. "I just haven't had a lot of time to think about things lately."
"And then when you do, you realize that you're forty-one thinking on five," said Rose, "What a thing to think about before work."
"Yeah, really." I reached for my keys, and opened the front door. "Take care of my baby."
"You know I will."
I left, and Rose closed the door behind me. I looked back, in time to see her walking up the stairs.
That was life, though, I thought, as I headed to work, the most unexpected things come at the most unexpected times. Kai was five now, and I was forty-one, both of us one year older, though it was yet to be seen if the two of us had gained anything other than age.
Then again, that was half the fun.