"The concept is simple," Abed said. "We use the geospatial metadata on our cellphones to lock onto the latitude and longitudinal coordinates of the cache. Getting to the cache is the easy part, provided you don't lose any cell coverage. When you get to your location, the cache itself could be anywhere around you. It could be in the tree. It could be behind a rock. It could be in a crack in a wall. But it can never be underground. There are three rules of geotagging: no food, no money, no burying."
Abed addressed the rest of the Study Group in a camp clearing in a heavily wooded national park. It was mid day. Annie, unable to completely parse Abed's fast-paced patter, nodded absently. Troy looked incredibly thrilled, rubbing his palms together in anticipation. Britta shook her head and looked over at Shirley, who shared the same look of confusion. Dean Pelton nodded his head, feigning ignorance.
Jeff Winger, dressed in a crisp flannel jacket from L.L. Bean and brand new Timberland hiking boots, had his head buried in his cellphone, as usual. Annie slapped him on the chest to get his attention.
"What?" Jeff said defensively. "I was trying to find the app for the damn … geo- … whatsit."
It was Pierce who finally said what everyone was thinking. "Why are we doing this again?"
"To find the legendary four buried caches of the Rocky Mountains," Troy explained. "We told you this already on the ride over. Legend says they were buried in these mountains during an untold past."
"Three years ago, to be exact," clarified Abed.
"When geotagging was yet young and innocent and not ruined by corporate sponsorships," Troy said wistfully. "Anyway, people have been looking for these caches for years. Many expeditions have been sent up to the mountains but to no avail. If we find these caches, we are by default the heroes of the geocache community."
"Bigger than those people who found the geocache on top of the twelve foot pylon in the middle of the Potomac River, which legend says was set down there by helicopter."
Abed and Troy slapped their own chests and clapped their free hands together.
"Oh, that's nice," said Shirley.
"Well, I don't know about you, but this sounds like fun," Britta said encouragingly.
"So, dare I ask what's in these 'caches' that makes people want to look for them?" Jeff asked irritatedly.
"Usually it's just a piece of paper in a 35 mm film roll canister," said Abed. "There's a list where you can mark your name off, then register it online. Then we have to rehide it."
"Yeah," said Troy. "But sometimes… it's a Tupperware box."
"Filled with Crackerjack toys."
"Like a sheriff's badge."
"Or little green army men."
"I really want that sheriff's badge, though."
"Okay," said Britta. "Suddenly I'm a little less interested."
"No kidding," said Shirley. "This sounds like something my kids do during recess."
"How about we do something a little less lame," said Jeff, "like limbo competition."
"Mmmm…" said the Dean. "I like where this is going…."
"Did I say 'limbo'? I meant white water rafting."
"I still like where this is going…."
"GUYS!" Annie said, screaming loudly enough so that everyone stopped talking. When they gave her their undivided attention, she continued. "We've done a lot of things together that on the surface seem lame, but ended up being a fun time in the end. Pierce, do you remember Dungeons and Dragons? You and Neil actually ended up forming a the Greendale Gaming Club! And Jeff, don't you remember Glee Club? You were super excited when you got to be lead tenor!"
Jeff rose to say something smart-mouthed, but he stopped himself.
"The important thing is that we do these activities together. The important things is to respect each other as friends."
"Ooooh," Abed muttered. "She Wingered us."
The rest of the group nodded, giving encouraging voices to the task at hand.
"Friends?" Annie said.
"Friends," the rest of the group said in their own ways.
"Very good," said Abed. "So our first task as friends is to split up."
"What?" said Annie, a little crushed that he undermined her speech.
"Four caches, two groups of four," said Abed. "That's why I invited the Dean."
"Thank you, Abed," said the Dean, genuinely touched.
"Abed and I are the A-Team," said Troy. "We're going after the toughest one. Five star difficulty, five star terrain."
"Naturally, I'm Murdock," said Abed, "and Troy is…."
"Mr. T?" chimed Pierce.
"No, he's clearly Face," said Shirley, annoyed. "That's racist."
"I'll leave it among yourselves to pair up the way you see fit," said Abed. "Normally, I would have done it, but last time I came up with rankings the emotions stirred were less than idea."
"Well, in that case," said Dean Pelton, "I choose…"
"Shirley!" Britta said. "Hey! You said your kids are pretty good at this, right? That give you some sort of innate … genetic predisposition with radar senses or something, right?"
"I'd be offended, Britta," Shirley said, "if it weren't so true. I'm in."
Annie looked around. She looked at Jeff. Things hadn't been so great between them lately, and she sensed that he was sorta warning her off away as well. So there was Pierce and Dean Pelton. She and the Dean were often on the same wavelength on a lot of things. She started to speak up….
"Then I choose the Dean," said Pierce.
"What?!" the Dean said, a little shocked.
"C'mon," said Pierce. "We're the team of getting things done. Hey, remember when we single-handedly created the school mascot? Those were fun time."
"I suppose," said the Dean, bobbing his head back and forth in a sign of tentative agreement. "But your health…."
"Hey," said Pierce, "if I suddenly collapse from a heart attack, I give you full permission to use my body as a sled to get down from the mountain."
"Well," the Dean said, flashing a glance at Jeff Winger. Jeff suddenly averted his gaze toward his phone again. "Well, all right. Offer accepted. Next time," he whispered under his breath.
"Cool," said Abed. "Cool cool cool. So that leaves Annie and Jeff."
"Again," Britta muttered. "Big surprise."
"I'm… OK with that," Annie said, flailing her arms in no discernable pattern. "Jeff's OK with that. Right, Jeff."
"Yeah," said Jeff. She noticed that he wasn't looking directly at her like he usually did. He was actively trying not to make eye contact. "I mean, we're friends, right?"
"Right," said Annie, now addressing the group. "Good friends," she said, her voice catching a little.