Due to the astonishingly high number of poorly written stories that make you want to cry before you finish the first sentence, my friend photo-gerk and I decided to create a list of things readers find frustrating and irritating when reading fiction. Collaberation done for a laugh.
Horrifyingly Realistic Things Not to do in FanFiction
Number one on our Not to do List:
Not double spacing between paragraphs. It makes it irritating to make your eyes try and separate the words and sentences, especially since computers damage your eyes enough when reading.
Number two:
Unless you are writing fiction for a musical, do not post song lyrics every five lines. When writing for a musical, put songs in occasionally, but don't let it interrupt the natural flow of dialogue.
Number three:
Do not write entirely in bold, unless your goal is to make people go cross-eyed trying to get used to the unnatural thickness of the letters, and then give up on the fiction. We don't care how talented you are, but we do care if you ruin our eyesight.
Number four:
dOn'T wRiTe LyKe ThIs. It'S iRrItAtInG eNoUgH.
Number five:
Don't post a two sentence long chapter and then leave an author's note saying "sry its shrt hve wrtrs blck plz rvw." If you have writer's block, DON'T POST ANYTHING UNTIL YOU GET OVER IT. Usually what you force yourself to write when you have writer's block is your worst possible work.
Number six:
Don't leave a note saying "I won't update until (insert number here) reviews. Your writing should be for the joy of it. Reviews are there to critique your writing and give encouragement and tips for literary improvement, NOT THE ENHANCEMENT OF YOUR OWN EGO.
Number seven:
Use proper grammar and English, and if your grammar skills are less than stellar, get someone to proofread your fiction. No one wants to read "liek then the kid said, 'Im going to my frends house now, and you're backpack is on the table.'" There is a reason spellcheck was invented, ladies and gentlemen, and it was not to have a pretty little button take up space on your desktop. If your writing is truly that substandard, then get a beta, perhaps someone who actually knows how to write, and have them proofread. If at all possible, get someone honest enough to tell you not to post the garbage that has come spewing out of your thoughtless fingertips.
Number eight:
Before you post a story, make sure it has a plot. There are so many stories floating around out there in the "Dear Diary" format, and hardly any of them have a defined direction; their authors are simply spewing nonsensical rubbish into a Word document, and uploading it to reduce the overall number of brain cells in the human mind. If the story has no point, revise it until it actually has a plot, or simply delete it. If you wouldn't want your friends to know it was you who wrote it, chances are no one wants to read it.
Number nine:
Every single detail of the characters' daily lives does not have to be known in the story. There is a reason why the bar was created between paragraphs—to show the passage of time throughout the story without knowing details such as "Danny wanted to go to the local Wendy's to meet up with his current love interest, Anne. Danny then picked up his keys, tied his sneakers, opened the front door, turned around, locked said front door, and then walked down the front steps. Danny then discovered that he had left his cash inside the house. Danny unlocked the front door, walked up the stairs to his room, picked the cash up off his dresser, and went back downstairs. Danny locked the door again, climbed into his car, and had to stop at precisely three red lights and two stop signs before finally pulling into the parking lot at the Wendy's. He opened his car door, pulled the keys out, got out of the car, closed the door, walked a few feet, and locked the car with the keypad." All of the explanations of his whereabouts and actions are only a waste of valuable space.
Number ten:
Managing to create what could become a fiction masterpiece, building it up towards twenty or thirty chapters, gathering a loyal base of readers who look forward to your next chapter, and then stop updating. When people get used to a schedule of updating (say every Friday or so) and then you abruptly drop it and don't update for months at a time, it tends to tick people off. Even leaving a note that says "I'm sorry, have writer's block" or "Out of town" or "I'm sick" is more respectful of your readers than leaving them in the black.