Late January 1945
Even though I had known for quite some time that this day was coming, I found myself still struggling with unexpectedly mixed and unsettled emotions. My men obviously deserved to know the truth; yet I still agonized over how to describe such a shocking, virtually unbelievable event. I had to somehow find a way to maintain a facade of calm detachment and it was proving much more difficult than I thought it would be.
When London had personally assigned me this top-secret mission, the men had repeatedly asked me about it. The exact words I had told them that day remained burned in my mind. I couldn't tell them anything other than that London wanted confirmation of reports of certain German activities in Poland. The box Newkirk had retrieved from the Underground contained photographs and eyewitness accounts that had been smuggled out. The Underground had entrusted us with the responsibility of safely delivering them to London.
Being the exemplary men they were, they contented themselves with my explanation at that time and carried on, trusting that I knew what I was doing. Now, however, with the Allied juggernaut pounding towards the heart of Germany from the east, west and south, the shroud was being ripped off the rotten corpse of National Socialism, exposing the horrific extent of their crimes against humanity. The world was just beginning to find out the heinous truth about the atrocities committed in the name of racial purity by the so-called "Master Race."
A year earlier, I had personally rendezvoused with the courier plane and delivered the box for transport to London. I had demanded that London keep me informed on this matter and they, to my great surprise, agreed. Their most recent transmission via emergency code informed me of the latest grisly discoveries made by the Russian forces as they swept westward across Poland; London urgently requested any additional intelligence I might possibly come across, especially any observed movement of SS troops, renegade or otherwise. Apparently the mighty SS were fleeing the scenes of their horrific crimes as quickly as they could.
It was at that point that I requested permission to reveal the nature of this transmission as well as the previous mission to my command crew. London grudgingly agreed, but with the stipulation that I not give them any graphically specific details of the Nazi extermination program. I was to simply inform them about the death camps and reveal that proof of the camps' existence was what had been in the box we had forwarded to London back in early 1944.
Frustrated by London's intransigent mandate to stick to generalities, I reached back to recall what I had told Kinch the previous November. As Kinch had decided to leave the team, I decided that I owed it to him to reveal the entire nature of the mission, as he and Newkirk were the ones who had been most closely involved with me in the delivery of the box of evidence to London. I knew I could trust Kinch to keep the matter confidential, since at that time I didn't have London's permission to tell him what I did.
When I revealed the existence of the death camps to Kinch he was understandably shocked; however, perhaps due to his own intimate acquaintance with the shameful racism so rampant in our own military, he did not appear to be overly surprised. He told me that he couldn't help but figure that it had been something extremely distressing by my reaction to the material in the box. I still regretted losing my composure in front of my men back then, even if it was for their sakes.
Another of London's stipulations required me to invoke the Official Secrets Act upon my men so that this information would not be shared with anyone else. It was a sham formality, of course; I trusted each of my men with my life, why wouldn't I trust them to keep this information to themselves? I made it a point to apologize to each of them when I told them I needed their solemn promise not to violate the terms of the Act.
Neither Baker, Carter or LeBeau had any problem when I asked them to agree not to divulge what I was to reveal to them. Of course, it was Newkirk who snorted with derision when I asked him to give me his word. I sighed and shrugged. What could I do? I was expected to obey orders just as they were. After I had secured each man's agreement to adhere to the Official Secrets Act, I called all four of them into my quarters to finally explain what had been in the box we couriered to London the previous year.
I discreetly observed each of my men as I explained what had been in the box. I chose my words carefully as I described the photos and first person accounts I had seen and read. I gave as many details as I could without blatantly disobeying London's mandate to the contrary. I made sure they realized that the operation of these extermination camps was an official Nazi government policy, euphemistically known as "The Final Solution." I also made it clear that too many good people had lost their lives collecting and routing this intelligence to the Underground and to us so that it could be sent on to London.
When finished, I folded my arms, sat back, and awaited their response. The men's initial reaction was a collective blank stare of shocked disbelief as they struggled to wrap their minds around what I had told them.
Predictably, it was LeBeau who became livid, muttering curses under his breath in French. Carter looked sadly puzzled. Baker's expression reflected shock mingled with disgust. And then there was Newkirk, who sat far too quietly, his eyes narrowed in anger.
It was Carter who eventually broke the uneasy silence. "Why didn't the Allies do something?" he asked. "Why didn't they bomb those camps?"
Baker also spoke up, "I'm with Andrew, sir. Why didn't our side take action?"
I wish to God I knew how to answer their questions. I could only shake my head and say, "I can't tell you because I don't know why. I wish I did."
Newkirk muttered, "I wish we 'ad known." His voice rose as he continued, "We coulda done somethin'. We shoulda done somethin'!" He then looked me directly in the eye and I could see his anger clearing away to understanding as he said, "I see...I see now, Colonel, 'ow you felt. And why you acted the way you did. I don't blame ya, I don't blame ya one bit."
He then cocked his head to the side and asked, "Did you explain this to Kinch before 'e left?"
I nodded, "Yes, I told him everything I just told you."
Newkirk nodded back in reply, satisfied that his absent friend hadn't been left in the dark regarding the contents of the box.
LeBeau finally spoke, "Colonel, isn't there anything we can do?"
It was obvious my men felt just as helpless and impotent as I still did. Their expressions revealed that each one of their personal attitudes towards the war and their part in it had suddenly changed. I walked over to the window and turned to face them. I had been constantly rehashing what I was going to say to them after they found out and now that it was time, I decided that I just had to explain it the best way I could.
"I know you all feel just as sick and disgusted as I did when I first found out about what the Krauts were doing and I also know you want to do something about it. A year ago, I asked London's approval to carry out an information gathering mission but they nixed that idea. They issued strict orders that I was not to take any action unless they specifically instructed me to do so. Unfortunately, London never issued those orders."
Each man shook his head in disbelief as I continued.
"I toyed with the idea of trying anyway, but found that the mission would be extremely dangerous and difficult, given the fact that the camps are located in Poland. I want you to know that I explored every possible avenue and I just couldn't come up with a plan I felt confident in. I'm sorry, fellas. I finally decided that we could best help by completing our mission, using all of our abilities to harass and distract the enemy. By doing so maybe we could bring the war to a close sooner and help save some of these innocent lives."
They all sat silently. What could any of us say? We'd never yet turned down a mission and it simply felt wrong not to have made any effort, even if we were forbidden to carry out what I had in mind.
Baker finally posed the question that I had asked myself so many times in the past year.
"Do you think that Klink knows about the existence of these camps, Colonel?"
I shook my head as I replied, "There's no way of finding out whether he does or not. If I had to guess, I'd say probably not. These death camps seem to be operated exclusively by the SS, who as we know don't play nice with the rest of the Wehrmacht. Plus, I would imagine the SS doesn't want general knowledge of what they are doing to get out."
I looked each of my men in the face before I said, "I was under orders from London to keep all of this to myself, but that's not the main reason I didn't let you all know what was in the box. My silence ensured your protection; any knowledge of what the Krauts are doing in these camps is a one way ticket to torture followed by a firing squad."
"Why are you tellin' us now, sir?" asked Newkirk.
"First of all, because you deserve to know. Secondly, because the world is finding out what they've been doing. The Russians have uncovered what's been going on in Poland."
"Are there any of these camps in Germany or other places?" asked LeBeau.
For some inane reason, that horrifying thought had not occurred to me; everything I had seen or been told about concerned Poland only. London hadn't mentioned anything about death camps located elsewhere.
"God, I hope not!"
I took a few steps away, shaking my head, the very idea of additional camps repugnantly impossible. Why hadn't that question ever crossed my mind? How could I have missed this? Could it even be possible? Wasn't the genocide being carried out in Poland bad enough? The terrible images from the photos that were seared in my memory raised their ugly head. I swallowed hard, trying to keep calm.
Although it was true that the Krauts had overrun virtually all of Europe and deep into the USSR before they had been beaten back, I didn't even want to think about the possibility that extermination camps were operating anywhere else. I especially didn't want to think they could be located within Germany, maybe even in close proximity to Stalag 13! Even though we had never run across anything suspicious during our missions outside of the wire, I'd never forgive myself if even one of those camps was located within an acceptable travel distance from our operation here.
I told my men the truth. "London hasn't communicated anything about any additional camps to me. If they do exist, either they don't know or they aren't telling. All I know is, they haven't told me."
Everyone again fell silent as we all tried to make sense of a senseless situation. In the end, it was Carter who summed everything up.
"Don't feel bad, sir. You're right. We need to do our job here so that the war will end as soon as possible. Our guys are nearly across France and they're going to be in Germany in no time! They beat the Krauts back at the Bulge, didn't they? We just need to hang on! The war can't last too much longer, can it?"
Newkirk spoke up as well, rising to his feet to put a hand on Carter's shoulder. "Andrew's right, Colonel. You needn't feel guilty. It's the bloody Krauts' fault! We all know you'd do somethin' if you could."
LeBeau and Baker also said the same thing, that I had no reason to blame myself because we couldn't help the innocents in the camps. I appreciated their sentiments but couldn't agree with them. My head told me one thing, while my heart told me another. Damn this war! Damn these arrogant psychopaths! Damn the people who put them in power!
Well, there was nothing to do but take my own advice to keep working from here to put an early end to both the war and this evil regime. I looked at my men and thanked my lucky stars I had a team such as this behind me. They gazed back at me in expectant concern and I couldn't let them down. I grabbed my crush cap and headed for the door.
"Okay, fellas! We've got a lot of work to do! Let's get down into the tunnel and get ready for our next mission."