All rights go to Disney. Warning: There is nudity, toilet usage, and other gross things. Enjoy.
Today, Jane was going to teach Tarzan how to properly use a toilet. Yesterday, she saw Tarzan sitting on a hole and releasing his bowels. She wasn't too offended by this, since there are worse ways to go to the bathroom, especially in a jungle. What she was slightly offended by is how Tarzan didn't even wipe before putting his loincloth back on. This convinced her to give Tarzan some toilet training, just in case they ever go back to England. The only problem with this is how she was going to find something that resembled a toilet in the jungle. After thinking about it for a few minutes, she came up with a solution. She took an old shipping crate, cut a relatively large hole in the middle, and got some soft leaves as an alternative to toilet paper. It wasn't the best she could do, but it was all she had to work with.
"Tarzan! Are you ready?" said Jane. "Yes, Jane." said Tarzan. Tarzan didn't know what to expect, but he trusted his wife and hoped for the best. He saw the shipping crate with a decent sized hole in it and thought "This isn't much different from how I get the brown stuff out of my body." "Okay Tarzan, now there are a couple you did right when it comes to using the bathroom. You digged a hole in order to make sure no one steps in your poo. But it doesn't work like that in England, so I'm going to teach you how to properly use a toilet." said Jane.
"First, you need to sit in the middle of the shipping container." said Jane. Tarzan listened and sat in the middle of the hole. "Now, you have to pull down your loincloth." said Jane. Tarzan was uncomfortable because he never exposed himself in front of Jane before. "Come on Tarzan, I won't judge." said Jane. Tarzan sighed and pulled his loincloth down to his feet. Jane was a bit distracted and said "Well, it's definitely bigger than I imagined, but anyway, what was I saying? Oh right, now you just go to the bathroom." Tarzan did what Jane wanted and he did his business right there in front of her. Sitting on the crate was far more satisfying than sitting on the ground. Jane could hear his droppings fall into the crate, but she didn't even want to look inside the crate.
Once Tarzan was done, Jane said "Okay good, now there's one last step. You have to wipe your bottom, in order to be completely clean." Tarzan was confused, because he never had to do that before. Usually he would clean his "bottom" in a lake, inside a waterfall, but never after he released his bowels. Jane gave him the leaves and told him to wipe. "Don't stop, until you know for a fact that you're clean." said Jane. Tarzan wiped his bottom a few times with the leaves and it felt weird to him. When he was a child, if the inside of his bottom started to itch, he would wipe it with his hand until it stopped. He would then wash his hand in a river and dry it off with a leave. After he finished wiping himself, Tarzan went up to Jane and told her he was done. "Alright, I think you did a good job for your first time. I still have to teach you how to use a handle, but we can do that another time." said Tarzan. "Okay Jane. It was strange, but I think I'll get used to it. Well, I'm off to swing in the jungle." said Tarzan. Just before Tarzan left, Jane said "Oh and Tarzan! Please remember to wash your hands! That's a crucial step!". "Okay Jane." said Tarzan as he went off in the jungle.
The end.
Hope you all enjoyed this story. I either going to do some Lucas (Ant Bully) one-shots next or write something else, but until then, I hope you all have a wonderful day. Bye for now.