Author's Note: Another fic inspired by a line of dialogue, this time from Amy in The Septum Deviation: "He wore me down. And I was distracted. He has on extra baby powder today." Also from Sheldon in The Champagne Reflection: "Stop looking at my legs." Haha. Enjoy! :)

Disclaimer: The Big Bang Theory © Chuck Lorre and Bill Prady

"…and I specifically reminded Leonard to purchase the blue dish soap, but what did he go and do? He bought the green bottle. His excuse was that the store was out of blue, and that it shouldn't bother me anyway because they're 'exactly the same thing.' Can you believe that? Don't think I didn't write him up for it, because I did, at which point Leonard crumpled up the piece of paper and tossed it at my head like an immature child, so of course I had to write him up for that as well."

Amy gave nothing but a short hum of acknowledgement as she wound a strand of hair around her finger.

Sheldon was busy preparing tea for himself and Amy, who sat on one of his kitchen stools, listening to him prattle on, or, at least, pretending to listen. He had his back to her, and Amy's attention had unintentionally slipped far away from his complaints about his roommate as her eyes wandered down to stare at his shapely posterior.

She couldn't help herself. It was just…there. Right there, a mere two feet in front of her. In fact, if the kitchen island weren't in the way, she could've easily reached out and given it a good, hard smack.

"Amy. Are you listening to me?"

The moment Sheldon turned around, Amy clenched her hand so tightly that her hair was now constricting her index finger. She felt a flash of heat to her face, and, after a moment of simply gawking at him, she forced a small grin and let go of her hair.

"Yes," she said with as much full-fledged confidence as she could muster. Apparently, though, that simple answer didn't suffice, as Sheldon was now wrinkling his eyebrows. Amy went into panic mode then, realizing she'd have to prove that she was listening before he got too suspicious, so she did her best to summarize what he'd just said based on any and every scattered detail she could actually remember. "Leonard bought the wrong type of laundry detergent, and you're disappointed in him for being such an incompetent roommate. You're now thinking it's finally time to get yourself a new roommate, perhaps a female one who knows how to follow simple instructions and happens to be sitting right in front of you."

She smiled a little too hard, and Sheldon's look of doubt hardened into that stern look of disapproval she recognized all too well.

"Nice try," he said. "And it was dish soap, not laundry detergent. You weren't paying attention at all."

Amy let out a sigh. "Fine. You're right. I wasn't listening. I apologize. It's just that I was a little…distracted."

"By what?" Sheldon asked.

Amy's eyebrows sprang up. She hadn't even meant to admit that last part, but now, it was out there, thanks to her brutal honesty. What was she supposed to say now?

I was distracted by your perfect rear end.

She couldn't tell him that. She racked her brain for a plausible excuse.

"By…feminine…issues."

The crease between Sheldon's eyebrows deepened again, and Amy's heart started pounding. After a tense moment of silence, Sheldon's facial expression finally relaxed, and he nodded.

"I pity you women, slaves to your reproductive organs and your menstrual cycles," he said sympathetically.

With that, he turned his back to her again, and Amy sat there, feeling a bit stunned. Mostly, though, she felt a tide of overwhelming relief crash against her. A wide grin stretched across her face as she brought up her hand and dropped her chin into her palm, allowing herself to once again indulge in the stimulating sight of Sheldon's well-proportioned backside. Her guilt for ogling him was completely gone now, replaced with a blissful feeling of satisfaction.

After all, it certainly wasn't her fault that her boyfriend was such a delectable piece of eye candy. Besides, she was his girlfriend, which gave her the right to sneak as many looks at him as her restless heart desired. As long as he never found out about it, she was golden. It wasn't like she even ogled him that often. Only on occasion. Extremely rare occasion.

Of course, Amy was aware that she probably had to be a little more discreet about it, as it would only be a matter of time before Sheldon picked up on how often she secretly checked him out. Still, as long as she kept her cool and delivered an alternative and logical reason for why she was distracted, she knew she'd always be in the clear.

"You want apple cinnamon tea, correct?"

"I was distracted by your perfect rear end!" Amy blurted out.

They both froze. Time seemed to stand still for a painstaking second, and then, it seemed to move in slow motion as Sheldon turned around and asked, "What?"

Amy's heart slammed against her chest.

Well. So much for maintaining composure.

Damn her brutal honesty.

Her mind was fizzling now.

"Uhhh…"

What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?

"You were…distracted by my…buttocks?" Sheldon asked.

Amy's face went scarlet. How unbelievably mortifying. Worst of all, there really was nothing she could do about it now. She dropped her gaze, too embarrassed to look him in the eyes.

"You're not going to write me up, are you?" she asked sheepishly.

"Why on earth would I do that?"

Amy blinked, allowing herself to look up at him, only to see that his look of confusion had returned.

"Because…I was ogling your behind instead of listening to what you were saying," she said.

"Amy. I'm surprised at you," Sheldon said. "Do you honestly think I don't understand that you're only human and that you have natural urges just like everyone else?"

Amy found herself holding her breath all of a sudden, as though her heart were on pause.

"Besides, I'm well aware that I have a superior behind," Sheldon said, a boastful smile on his lips. "It's clearly difficult not to stare at it."

"So… You're not angry with me?" Amy asked.

"Of course not," Sheldon said with an unexpected tenderness in his voice that brought a completely different wave of heat to Amy's cheeks, a soothing warmth that had her heart tingling and her lips turning up again.

"Plus," he went on, "now you know how I feel."

Amy was grateful that she didn't have the tea sitting in front of her, because she likely would've knocked it over with the force of her hand as it involuntarily slipped from her chin and hit the counter with a heavy thunk.

"Excuse me?" she asked, nearly choking, and she was only met with a scoff from Sheldon which had her feeling like she was crazy.

"Don't act innocent now," he said in an admonishing tone. "Do you have any idea how long it takes me to return to my train of thought after you so successfully derail it with those flirtatious texts you constantly send me?"

"I… I'm sorry. Did you say… My flirtatious texts?"

"Yes," Sheldon said simply. "In fact…"

He proceeded to reach into his pocket, where he dug out his cell phone. After swiping the screen and tapping it a few times, he found whatever it was he was looking for.

"Here we go. This was a particularly saucy one from a few nights ago," he said, and he cleared his throat as he read from his phone: "'Have a good night, Sheldon.'" He turned the phone to her. "You seductive little vixen."

Amy's heart thumped wildly. She was rendered speechless in that moment, partly because Sheldon hadn't called her a vixen in years and she'd forgotten how much she liked it, and partly because she was so blown away by the revelation of this apparently powerful and thought-consuming effect that she never knew she had on him.

Sheldon was now shaking his head to himself as he returned the phone to his pocket, while all Amy could do was stare at him with her lips parted as she rapidly blinked over and over in her state of total shock. Finally, though, she forced herself to snap out of it.

"That's not a flirtatious text at all, Sheldon," she said, "and, to be frank, it genuinely puzzles me that you can misconstrue a simple goodnight text to be even remotely…suggestive."

He paused, considering her words. "You know what? You're right. It's not flirting. It's blatant sexting."

Amy's mouth fell open again, and this time, she almost wanted to laugh, as she found it so ridiculously absurd that he'd consider something as innocent as a goodnight text to be so…well, dirty.

"Are you… You can't seriously think…" She trailed off and let out a loud scoff of her own, yet again at a loss for words. She was suddenly aware of how hot her face felt, and she was starting to feel lightheaded from this conversation. "That's not what sexting is, Sheldon," she finally managed to get out.

"Then how would you categorize those good morning texts of yours with the suggestive smiley face emoticons?" he asked. "Or the fact that you always send me a text asking me how my day is going, or simply to wish me well? I get so distracted by those little messages that I typically can't think of anything else but you for the majority of the day. I don't think you realize how much of a temptress you truly are, Amy Farrah Fowler."

Amy's head was spinning now. How did the conversation end up here?

"Wow," she breathed, her entire body pulsing with arousal as she smiled as temptingly as she could, ready to throw all caution to the wind. "I'm not sure whether to kiss you, or to give you a good clunk on the head to knock some sense into you."

Sheldon's lips suddenly twitched, his pupils bulging as he swallowed hard and said, huskily, "Well…I know which of those options I'd personally prefer."

There was a beat of hesitation, until Sheldon took the choice away from Amy by promptly bowing his head and crushing his lips to hers in a passionate kiss.

Not that she was complaining.

She swept a hand around the back of Sheldon's neck, holding on tightly, while both of his hands came up to enclose against her back. The next thing she knew, his tongue was snaking its way into her mouth, hot and wet and eager, and Amy moaned loudly and threw up her other hand, entangling it in his hair. The kitchen island was digging sharply into her stomach, an uncomfortable and slightly painful feeling, but Sheldon's wonderful mouth moving hungrily against her own was the perfect distraction.

"Amy," he moaned.

"Mmm," she moaned in return.

"Amy," he moaned even louder.

"Sheldon."

"Amy! Are you listening to me?"

Amy shook her head so hard that she had to blink several times to adjust her momentarily bleary vision. When she stopped, it felt like she'd just rattled her brain around, leaving her a bit dizzy. Her chin was still in her palm, while Sheldon was standing directly in front of her, staring at her with a unique mixture of bafflement and impatience. She stared up at him, her heart racing with the realization that her fantasies had gotten so out of control that she'd completely lost sight of the conversation.

"I said, you want apple cinnamon tea, correct?" Sheldon asked.

"Uhh… Yes," Amy said. "Thank you."

He stared at her a moment longer, a wary look on his face, as if he were trying to figure out what was going on in that overly active imagination of hers. Finally, he turned around again, and Amy released a quiet breath, putting a hand to her chest as her heart pounded away. She grinned in spite of herself.

Sheldon really was her favorite distraction.