Disclaimer: I do not own Skins or any of the characters recognizable from that. They are all out of the brilliant mind of someone else!
A/N: This is predominately a Katie/OC fic, but will have Naomily bits. It's based off of the Skins characters so there will be sex, drugs, swearing, etc... There will probably be spoilers for all of series 3 if you haven't seen it yet. The title comes from the Eddie from Ohio song "This is Me". Please Read and REVIEW!
The new girl had an air of confidence. She also had the vaguely Effy Stonemish attitude of "I don't give a fuck," which Katie couldn't help but envy, because really she gave too much a fuck too often. Of course she also had the looks to pull off the attitude. Long dark brown hair, piercing green eyes, high cheek bones, and nice tits (even Katie couldn't help noticing that). On the girl's first day, even Freddie's head had turned away from Effy. Raven, Katie'd remembered her being called by one of their professors one day. It had suited her, Katie had thought at the time. Katie had considered talking to her, but after the humiliations she'd suffered the previous year, she just didn't have the self-confidence to do so. Not to someone who was so clearly together, and if Katie was honest, a bit intimidating.
She was surprised then, when she stumbled across the brunette slumped against a wall outside of school in the middle of a class they were supposed to be in together. Katie had decided she needed a smoke…or rather, she needed to not have seen Naomi and Emily holding hands under the table while the professor droned on and on about true love in some of the greatest works of literature, blah, blah, blah. So she'd claimed she was ill and needed to go to the nurse. She slipped outside, started to wander away from the school, and pulled out a fag. She was about to light up when she spotted her. She approached cautiously, slowly, wishing like crazy that she didn't feel so fucking intimidated by the girl.
"Hey," she said softly, and the girl's head shot up.
Katie was startled to see tears streaming down the girl's face.
"Fuck," Raven wiped the tears from her face vigorously. "Sorry. Hi." Her voice was ragged and low. It sounded nothing like the way it did in class.
"You ok?" Katie asked. She felt like the biggest idiot on the planet. Of course she wasn't fucking ok. She was crying for fuck's sake. "Sorry. Stupid question," Katie mumbled
Raven laughed, and the sound made Katie's stomach flutter. It was light and musical. "No. It's fine," the brunette replied. "I'm just…God…Have you ever had an argument with someone where you just can't seem to win, and everything you say just comes out wrong and makes it worse?"
Katie nodded mutely. She was startled. She'd never heard the girl talk so much before. She'd never heard her say anything outside of responding to a professor's question.
"Just had one of those arguments with someone I care about a lot. Makes me feel a bit helpless. Just couldn't deal with class, you know?"
Katie nodded a bit more whole heartedly. That she could most definitely relate to.
"You don't say much, do you?" Raven commented.
Katie had to laugh. "I think you're the first person to ever say that to me," she admitted.
Raven smiled broadly, revealing a row of dazzlingly white, perfectly straight teeth. Katie couldn't help thinking that it was the first time she'd really seen the girl smile. "So are you particularly attached to attending the rest of the day's classes? Or would you like to fuck off somewhere with me and have a drink or something?" Raven inquired as she stood, confidently. She quickly wiped her eyes again and straightened up, looking much more like herself.
Katie glanced back at the building. Emily would be mad at her, and probably lecture her later about how with uni applications coming up soon and futures to think about it was hardly the time to ditch school, but right now she couldn't be arsed. Right now, a mysterious, confident girl who she couldn't help wanting to be friends with was asking her to hang out. Katie only took a second to make her choice. "Drink sounds good," she managed.
"Good," Raven continued to smile. "By the way, are you going to smoke that? Or just let it burn down until it's a long string of ash?" She nodded at Katie's cigarette.
Katie glanced down and was embarrassed to find that the ash was already rather gone. She tapped it a few times, took a drag, then flicked it to the ground and stepped on it.
"Come on then," Raven said expectantly. "You're Katie right?" she asked as they started walking.
Katie tripped over her feet. She had no idea that Raven had any idea who she was. She nodded dumbly.
"Twins with the little redhead who's dating the blonde, right?"
Katie nodded again, feeling slightly smug that Raven didn't appear to know their names. "Emily. And the blonde is Naomi."
"Ok," Raven replied nonchalantly. They walked a little further. "If I offer you a spliff are you going to let it go to waste like you did that fag?" she teased with a grin.
Katie blushed slightly and hated herself for it. "N-No," she stammered.
"Good," Raven pulled out a small tin and extracted a spliff from it. She lit it, inhaled deeply then passed it to Katie as they continued to walk. "Sorry that I was such a mess back there," she commented after a while.
Katie found herself surprised yet again. If that was what Raven being a mess was: crying for all of a few seconds before pulling herself together and looking gorgeous, then Katie really didn't want to know what Raven would think of her recent past. They walked for a ways, making turns here and there, before Katie realised that she didn't recognise where they were. Raven turned down a small alleyway, and Katie followed hesitantly.
"Almost there," Raven flashed her a smile. They walked a bit further before Raven stopped in front of a dingy old building, crammed in between what appeared to be two apartment buildings. A small sign over the door read simply "Pub". Raven pushed open the door and held it open for Katie.
Katie hesitated, but after an expectant look from Raven, she took a step inside. Raven stepped in behind her, forcing her further inside. Katie was surprised to find that the inside looked much more respectable than the outside. The place was small but tidy, and had a warm, welcoming feel to it.
"Hey, Jo!" Raven sat down heavily on a stool at the bar.
"Rae? What're you doing here? Don't you have classes or something you're supposed to be attending?" the pleasant looking, dirty blonde behind the counter replied.
Raven shrugged.
"You fighting with Grace again?" the woman sighed.
Raven nodded. "What else?" She turned and motioned for Katie to take the seat next to her. Katie did so hesitantly, feeling a little like she was intruding into Raven's life.
"Two ciders please!" Raven ordered.
The woman behind the counter eyed Katie like she was about to ask for I.D., but then shrugged and served them each a pint of cider. "So who's this, Rae?"
"Jo, this is Katie. Katie, this is Josephine. Old family friend," Raven introduced them.
"Nice to meet you. Didn't feel like attending class either I take it?" Jo stretched out a hand which Katie shook tentatively.
"I'm not one for discussions of romantic literature," Katie explained.
"Cheers to that!" Raven lifted her glass and Katie toasted with her.
Jo just laughed. "Need any food?"
"I could go for a plate of chips," Raven admitted. "Will you have some if I get them?" she turned to Katie who just nodded.
"Coming right up," Jo smiled before disappearing into a back room.
"Come on, let's go to a table," Raven said grabbing her drink and heading to one in the corner, even though the place was fairly deserted besides two old guys grumbling at the far side of the bar, eyes glued to a small telly that was showing a horse race.
Katie followed her and sat down across from her, feeling inexplicably nervous, though Raven had been nothing but friendly. She found herself not quite sure what to say.
"You really are quiet, you know," Raven commented while watching her thoughtfully.
Katie blushed and shrugged. "I'm really not normally."
"Just with me then?" Raven cocked an eyebrow.
Katie's blush deepened, but she said nothing.
"So tell me a bit about yourself Katie," Raven prompted.
"Like what?" Katie felt herself squirm uncomfortably.
"Your last name would be a good start," Raven grinned.
Katie laughed nervously. "Fitch."
"You wouldn't in anyway be related to the Rob Fitch of Rob Fitch Fitness? Like a 'Don't get fit, get Fitch' Fitch?" Raven's eyes widened.
Katie put her head in her hands. "Oh God! Don't tell me you go there and you know my dad!"
"Haha, no! But my dad does! I've heard a few stories. Your dad sounds like quite a character, you know."
Katie just shook her head in her hands. That could not have been a worse discovery. "If by that you mean ridiculously focused on fitness and slightly delusional in his willingness to believe that his daughters are still completely innocent at seventeen, then yes: he's quite a character."
"Are you not innocent then?" Raven's eyebrow shot back up. She looked genuinely curious and had a bit of a mischievous glint in her eye as she grinned.
Katie felt her blush coming back. "I mean...I'm..."
"Don't worry. I'm not either," Raven winked.
Katie let out a small laugh. She had no idea why she was acting so ridiculous. Raven just made her nervous. She didn't know why, and she knew it was silly.
"Here you go, love," Jo appeared beside them setting a plate of chips between them. "So what do you think, Rae? Is this it with Grace?"
Raven shrugged as she opened the malt vinegar and sprinkled it over the chips before popping one into her mouth. "I think it might be, yeah. We're just arguing all the time and making each other unhappy."
"Definitely seems like she's excelled at making you unhappy recently," Jo said sympathetically.
"Yep. I'm not completely innocent in this. I argue with her when I shouldn't and I say things without thinking sometimes, but I think it's about time we stopped," Raven explained.
"Well, I'd say I'm sorry, love, except I think you can do better," Jo rubbed Raven on the back.
Raven smiled half-heartedly. "Thanks, Jo."
Katie had listened to the exchange in silence, a sneaking suspicion forming in her gut and making her a tad uneasy. "So Grace is a friend of yours?" Katie finally voiced.
Jo raised an eyebrow and gave Raven a curious look. "I'll leave you two be then," she said as she wandered away.
Raven turned an amused expression in her direction. "Katie, I'm gay. Grace is, or was at any rate, my girlfriend."
"Oh," Katie murmured, feeling herself go a bit pale as her stomach twisted in knots. What did she just attract them now that her sister was gay?
"Does that bother you?" Raven still seemed vaguely amused, but her tone was quiet and serious.
Katie shook her head, not trusting her voice.
"You sure? Cause you look a bit pale," Raven pointed out.
"No. Yeah. It's fine. I just...I didn't expect it," Katie replied, feeling a bit idiotic as she said it, because why would she expect it when this was the first conversation she'd ever really had with the girl.
"I don't broadcast my personal life at school, so no reason you would no. Don't worry," Raven smiled, and Katie felt her stomach flip. "Anyway...Like I was telling Jo: Grace and I...I think we've just run our course. I mean I love her, I really do! She's an amazing person, but I think us together...we make each other worse somehow. I dunno. We were great in the beginning, but these days we just fight all the time. It's time to let go, you know?"
Katie nodded.
"You sure you're ok with me being gay? I mean, I know your sister is, but you two don't seem overly close...Is that one of the issues?" Raven pried.
"No, it's fine. And Ems and me...It's not so much that she's gay, it's who she's gay with," Katie mumbled, feeling like a prejudiced little prick at the moment.
"Not a big fan of Naomi then?" Raven inquired.
"Have you seen the way she dresses?" Katie retorted.
Raven laughed lightly. "Yes. True. She could use a bit of help with her wardrobe. You could always step in and help though. You've got a flare for style." She let her eyes drop over Katie's outfit.
Katie felt the blush return to her cheeks. "Thanks," she replied. She was a bit shocked that Raven had noticed.
"So what else about Naomi makes you not like her then?" Raven asked after a brief pause.
Katie shrugged. "It-It's stupid really."
"Tell me anyway," Raven encouraged.
"It sounds really petty," Katie tried again to get out of it.
"I won't judge," Raven grinned, and the twinkle in her eye as she did so made Katie relent.
"It's just that she's...Well, she's hurt Emily before, for starters. Last year, before they really got together. And she's always been more or less a bitch to me, though maybe not so recently, and probably righteously so," Katie admitted. "And then she just...I mean Emily's my sister. She just took her..." Katie rolled her eyes at herself and cut herself off.
"She took her from you," Raven finished.
Katie nodded self-consciously.
"I get that," Raven said after a minute. "I mean especially given that you're twins. You must have a really strong bond, and now there's someone new, testing exactly how strong that bond is. Someone else who's forming a new and completely different bond with Emily."
Katie's eyes widened in surprise. She hadn't expected the brunette to understand it so thoroughly. "Yeah," she agreed, feeling like someone understood her reasoning for the first time.
"Makes sense," Raven nodded. "I like that you're not completely the same, you know. Like not the type of twins that have the same haircuts and wear the same outfits and everything."
"We used to be. When we were little our mum and dad dressed us alike. Then I started getting...well...some style. But we still always had the same haircut and same hair colour until sometime last year I started curling mine, and then after...Well after the end of last year, I needed a change, so I dyed it," Katie explained.
Raven reached across the table and picked up a piece that had fallen into Katie's face, rubbed it gently through her fingers before tucking it behind Katie's ear. The gesture sent a small shiver of excitement down Katie's spine. "I like the colour. I think it suits you," Raven smiled. "So are the rumours true then? You got hit in the head by your best friend and then started a brawl at the end of the year ball?"
Katie laughed. "Not quite. For starters, I don't think Effy was ever really my best friend. And it was hardly a brawl. Naomi and I fought, and then Emily and I fought, and I lost both fights. Well all three if you include the one with Effy." Katie's fingers flew automatically to the small scar on the side of her head that she knew was covered by hair.
"Can I see?" Raven gestured at where Katie's hand now hovered just above her scalp.
Katie hesitated for a second before pushing her hair to the side.
"Ouch," Raven murmured, almost to herself. "I hope you gave her a bruise or something at least in return!"
Katie smiled. "I tried," she admitted.
Raven leaned back and popped another chip into her mouth. "You going to eat any of these then?"
Katie nodded, and picked on up, nibbling on it daintily.
Raven watched her for a minute then started to laugh.
"What?" Katie demanded defensively.
"Nothing. It's cute. The nibbling, I mean," Raven grinned, green eyes gleaming.
"Oh shut up," Katie glared playfully before shoving the rest of the chip in her mouth.
"Oh yeah! That's much more attractive! And very ladylike," Raven teased.
Katie picked up a second chip and threw it at Raven. She felt herself relax a bit at the playful teasing. "Cause you're so ladylike then?" she shot back.
Raven laughed. "I never claimed to be, Katie," she winked. "Now chips, are for eating, young lady, not for throwing," she put on a mock parent's voice.
Katie laughed and threw another chip at Raven, and it landed, resting on her cleavage.
Raven picked it up and started to eat it, mumbling "Food waster," as she did so.
"So tell me more about this Effy girl. She's the super skinny brunette always on the arm of that scrawny skater dude, right?" Raven prompted.
Katie started to explain, and they fell into easy conversation. It was the first time in ages that Katie had really talked about all of the events last spring, because most people were too nervous to bring it up around her. It was kind of nice to let some of it out. The chips were gone before she knew it, as were another two pints of cider.
Raven glanced at her watch, and jumped up. "Shit! I've gotta go!" She pulled on her jacket and Katie couldn't help feeling slightly disappointed. She'd ignored the text she'd gotten from Emily while they'd been talking, and was sure that it was something about how she shouldn't just have left college, especially without telling her twin. She wasn't especially thrilled at the prospect of going home and listening to Emily admonish her for it.
"Oh, ok," Kate muttered, hating that the disappointment was evident in her voice.
Raven pulled out her wallet and went up to the bar, handing Jo some cash. Katie started to protest but Raven just rolled her eyes. "I invited you, didn't I? Besides, it wasn't much."
"See you girls," Jo called to them.
"You coming then?" Raven smiled at Katie, who seemed hesitant to leave the pub.
Katie found herself surprised once again. She'd assumed that wherever Raven had had to go to, she was leaving Katie behind. It appeared that she'd been wrong. "Sure," Katie mumbled, grabbing her own jacket and following Raven out of the pub.
Raven waited for her to slip her jacket on, and tugged on her arm, and said, "Let's go."
Katie walked beside her, idly wondering where they were off to now. She couldn't help thinking that the whole afternoon felt like a bit of an adventure, and she was a bit excited to see what would happen next.