I hate the way you look at me;
I hate the way you smile.
I hate how you're always pranking me,
And never care when you get into trouble.
Just so long as you get a reaction from me,
Just so long as you've won my attention.
I hate your extensive detention record,
And how despite it you pass all your classes.
I hate that mischievous glint in your eyes,
And who could forget your unruly dark hair?
I hate that you always muss it up even more,
Even though you think it looks cooler.
Let me tell you something: it doesn't, ok?
I don't care what the other kids say.
I don't think it looks cute, not one little bit,
And it won't help you in winning me over.
I hate that you never give up on me,
How you think that I'm the one.
I hate that I can't be the one…
The one who's different from the rest:
I used to hate you with all that I am;
It's too bad that that's not still the case.
I wish that I could keep hating you,
And refusing your pleas for a date.
I wish you'd never changed this year:
If you hadn't I might still be sane.
Then again I'm not sure I ever was,
Since I've always pushed you away.
I've always refused to acquiesce to your requests,
I've always been sure to deny.
If I hadn't you might not still want me right now,
Instead you'd have thrown me aside.
You have no idea what a challenge it's been,
Refuting you all of these years.
You do not know why I have to keep up
This game, this charade, this façade:
Pretending that I still feel nothing for you,
Holding in place my expressionless mask.
I fear what may happen to me if I don't.
I would be losing a part of myself.
If I gave you my heart,
If I let you in…
No! That mustn't happen!
I must not give in!
I can't let you hurt me
Like you have all the others.
I've resisted thus far,
Surely I can endure just a little while longer.
But what if I can't?
What if I've finally fallen?
You might lose your desire for me.
You might discover that I am not worth it.
After all, part of my appeal is that
I supposedly don't share your love for you.
All of these years I've been leading you on,
We both know how I've wasted your time.
It could've been over years ago,
I could have let you move on.
All I had to do was say yes,
So as to let your love for me die.
Maybe I should though,
Just give in, agree.
It would be so easy to do,
Though I'm still not quite sure I want to.