Disclaimer: I don't own them, they own me.

Summary: The true story behind the Nibelheim incident.

Warning: AU, crack, MPreg and hormones - if this is not your cup of tea, please don't read any further.

A/N: This is what happens when Ice Lady encourages me to write after midnight! She likes this, so be very, very afraid! I take no responsibility for any trauma or brain damage caused by this piece. Flames will be laughed at and used for lowering this winter's heating bills.

Since this piece already gained a sequel, I'll leave the label as "incomplete" - let's hope that inspiration never decides to struck again, shall we?

"Gen, love, please calm down..."

"I'm NOT!" a red gloved fist was shoved to the side, letting off a Firaga that flew straight to the nearest house, nearly making the shack explode with its power, and Sephiroth and Zack cringed.

"Songbird...," the silver hero tried with clear desperation, but the only effect was that it seemed like Genesis was going to explode too, blue eyes shining furiously.

"I had enough of this! I will not be left behind like some bothersome baggage in the middle of nowhere while you are having all the fun without me, DO YOU HEAR ME SEPHIROTH?"

"But... I thought you'd enjoy a few days with Angeal in Banora...," he stuttered, promptly ducking another fire spell aimed at him, glancing at Zack to make sure the boy was all right too. Speaking of which...

Just where the fuck was Angeal? He was supposed to make sure Genesis stayed in Banora for the weekend with him and his parents until Zack and he got the mission in Nibelheim done and joined them.

"Don't you ever dare to utter that name before me!" Genesis practically screamed with rage, hands balling into fists once again and releasing new fireballs into their surroundings. Then suddenly, his shoulders slouched and he let out a sigh, his stance weavering before he clamped a red gloved hand over his mouth and doubled over, retching.

Sephiroth was just quick enough to close the distance and catch him before his legs decided not to support him any longer.

"Let me go!" Genesis tried between horrible sounds, but if Zack had ever heard something that wasn't convincing, this was it.

Sephiroth just wrapped his arms tighter around his beloved, resting his chin on top of that pretty head. "Shhh," he soothed, and Genesis sagged against him, face pale.

"This is all your fault."

"I know."

"I hate you."

"I know."

"And I hate that pathetic excuse of a friend of mine," the redhead murmured quietly, tiredness etched to his voice.

"Of course you do," Sephiroth took to slowly rocking the lithe man in his arms.

"Stop agreeing!"

"As you wish," the silver hero nuzzled Genesis' temple, finally daring to smile a little when those slim fingers clutched at a few strands of his hair and his lover rested his head against his shoulder pads. "Feeling better?"

"I hate when he's kicking like that," came the grudging response, and Sephiroth's smile widened as he sneaked a hand down to palm over the slight bump of the other man's belly, rubbing soothing circles over it.

"Come on, let me take you back to the helicopter," he gathered Genesis' slender frame in his arms and shot Zack a glare. "You call Tseng," and with that, he was already on his way towards the fields.

Zack sighed and shook his head, then pulled out his cell phone, cries of "Put me down, you idiot, I can walk!" and "Sephiroth, I'm telling you for the last time I'M PREGNANT NOT CRIPPLED!" reaching his ears from the distance. He glanced at the town behind his back lighting up the approaching twilight with roaring flames, and he flipped the phone open with a sigh.

"Tseng? Yeah, it's Zack, heh... Hey, look, we have a... khm, situation here..."