Hey, Readers. This is my first story I've ever written, and, to be honest, I have no idea where I'll be going with it. I mean, I have some ideas, but none are for sure. So, I'd appreciate if you just review to tell me your thoughts on it. I don't really care much for reviews, but I do care knowing that I'm doing okay, so, if it's not too much to ask, can you leave a review or even a follow or favorite just so I know I'm doing good? Thanks!
-/-
She never believed in love. Not after the childhood she was brought up from. Sure, her father was rich and she was the heir to the Heartfilia Konzern, but that wasn't love. That was power. And, such power and influence would usually have made a child spoiled and ungrateful. But, fortunately, Lucy wasn't. Instead, she became an emotional wreck behind the walls she had instilled to protect herself.
When she was 6 years old her mother passed away, and, as much as she wished she hadn't died, she was glad Layla was given a painless death during her sleep. Even as a child, she could tell her mother had been suffering. She just hadn't known what from at the time. Until now, at least.
The family doctor that her father hired to examine what could have affected her mother's health so badly had diagnosed it as just another case of major depression. And she was proving to be more and more like Layla everyday. She was never officially diagnosed, but she could tell. That life with no friends or family had done a number on her. She only had acquaintances during that time, and they were the staff of the mansion. On a good day, a maid or a butler would exchange a few "how are you?"s or "good morning"s and she would return them in politeness, but that was all she ever received. She hadn't seen her father come out of that damn office of his for several years.
At a younger age, she had attempted to earn her father's love by making a plate of rice balls, only to have them be splattered across the marble flooring as he swiped the tray off his oak wood work desk. The profanities he had screamed still rang in her ears to this day, and she doubted that they would ever leave.
She closed her eyes and sighed.
It would do her no good to dwell on the past when she has her entire future in front of her. She was in Fairy Tail's hands and that's the safest place for her to be right now. Surrounding herself with happy people would eventually make her happy. Or, it could contribute to building up a mask of false joy, in her case. She didn't want to fake it, though. She wanted to be herself around her nakama, but her insecurities remained even after they had assured her prior to her joining that they would always love their family no matter what. She still had problems accepting that, even with all she and the guild had been through within the year she had been there. She knew that the mask she had formulated would crack and crumble at some point. She knew that from the very beginning, but sparing her nakama the pain of seeing her face blank and eyes clear of all emotion seemed like a better option than showing off the emptiness she truly felt.
She internally groaned in frustration, dropping her head to the guild table with a thud. A few of the early members looked over in surprise, before brushing off the blonde's rare presentation of detachment. Except for one, who furrowed her brow in concern while towelling a glass behind the bar.
How much longer can you keep up this charade, Lucy? You'll have to give in eventually. No, I don't. I-I can keep doing it. I owe it to them. They've done so much for me already, and I'm not going to burden them with anymore of my problems. Sureeee, we'll see how that works out for you.
She clenched her fists. That damn voice always knew exactly what to say to push her buttons. And, why was it that she always stuttered her retorts to the traitorous voice?
Because you don't want to accept the truth. You know I'm right, Lu. She held back a growl as she grit her teeth. It was official. If she hadn't hated the voice before then, she definitely did now. Come now, that's not nice, the voice laughed.
She quietly let out a disgruntled hiss she had been holding in. She was pretty sure that her nails had pierced her palms by now. This voice was grating on her nerves. Even though she knew everything it said was true, it's not like she could just slide the disguise off so suddenly. It would have to happen gradually over time or they would notice something was wrong.
Really? You think they actually care? Ha! That's the funniest thing I've ever heard from you. Stop, Lucy, its just playing with you. They do care. They do care. They do care. They do ca- A soft hand on her shoulder interrupted her mantra. She lifted her head from the table with a quick smile plastered on her face, acting as if she wasn't going crazy arguing with herself. Her chocolate eyes met Mira's worried, blue shades. She angled her body towards Fairy Tail's resident barmaid with a questioning look upon her face.
"Hey, Mira," she greeted. "What's up?" She pushed down the nervousness as best she could. She had a feeling this wasn't going to go down as well as she wanted it to.
"Hey, Lucy. How are you?" Lucy kept her composure on the outside, but on the inside she was so skittish she was scared that she would jump out of her skin.
"Oh, I'm good. Just like normal," Oh God, she probably just fucked that up. Why did she have to add that last part? She winced inwardly. Now, Mira will know something's up. For a second, her mask cracked and her edgy features seeped through before it was sucked back up into the confines of a replacement. She glued on a spurious grin before replaying the question in politeness.
"Same," Mira answered with knowing glint in her sapphire eyes. Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shitshitshitshitshit.
Mira knew.
Mira knew.
Mira knew.
Shit.
You done? the voice asked sarcastically. You curse like a sailor.
Shut. Up. This is serious.
Just be glad they don't hear you. God knows what they'd think then, it snickered.
She growled. Damn voice.
"Lucy? Lucy? Lucy, are you okay?" Seconds after, she became aware of the hand waving in front of her face as her eyes refocused on reality. "Huh? Oh, yeah. I'm fine, Mira," she replied.
"Why do you ask?" Lucy was hoping that her friend was just asking, and not because her insanity was finally shining out even though she had already established that Mira knew something was up.
Mira made her sweet, innocent smile. "No reason."
Yup, that definitely confirmed it. Mira only ever did that when she knew something, and, though Mira didn't know what it was she knew, she obviously realized she knew great of importance.
Damn. This wasn't going to turn out well. Why did she have to be friends with Magnolia's biggest gossip?
Lucy settled for a look of confusion before faking a shrug of disinterest. Oooo, ha, ha, ha! Somebody's already on your case. What what will our favorite crazy do, folks? Keep up the façade, or grow up and quit being A FAKE?! Lucy wouldn't deny it. That last one got to her. And it made her wonder if the voice was right. Was she really a fake? Did she need to grow up? NO, you are NOT a fake. You are perfectly fine the way you are. This is a sacrifice. For Fairy Tail. For nakama. It's worth it. Don't let the voice get to you.
It was quiet for a moment. Mira, wiping down Lucy's table with a wet rag, looked over during the blonde's musings and narrowed her eyes at the blank expression of the blonde's face. She refrained from shivering. It was kind of unsettling.
"Lucy?" The white haired girl questioned. She watched as the celestial mage jumped slightly in her chair. Lucy's eyes widened for a split second before throwing on a fraud veil of curiosity over herself.
"Yeah?"
Mira looked her straight in the eye, traces of her earlier smile were long gone and replaced with an earnest demeanor. Lucy was caught off guard and Mira noted it. Something was wrong with Lucy, and Mira needed to find out. And she would. She would just have to be patient.
"You know you can come to me if you ever need to talk, right?" She imperturbably awaited the response the - even more now - surprised blonde, who nodded dumbly, not trusting her voice at the time. Mira smiled and bided her goodbye as Cana walked through the guild doors.
Lucy didn't know how long she sat there staring at the table. She just knew it was still early and she was tired as hell. Home sounded like a good idea. Warm bed, soft pyjamas, and a blissful, dreamless sleep. Yeah, home sounded really good.
-/-
Mira watched worriedly from her place behind the bar counter. Lucy was acting odd and, so far, she was the only one that saw it. The nerves in her stomach rattled as she observed the Stellar Mage nod to herself, obviously in deeper thought than earlier. The eldest Strauss' eyes followed the blonde move out of the guild, practically unseen. She sighed.
Cana paused her binge, eyes flickering up with a questioning look on her face at Mira's unusual behavior. Generally, the white haired woman would be all smiley and carefree, so the creases upon her brow were rather strange to witness. After a few minutes of scrutinizing the S-class's stare into space with a distraught appearance while drying the same glass, she spoke up.
"What's wrong?" Maybe it was just catching her off guard that made Mira jump, or the serious look Cana had presented her with.
Or, maybe it was the realization that the Card mage had stopped drinking.
Mira struggled for the right words. This wasn't gossip. This was valuable information that shouldn't be spoken of until Lucy came out about it. The barmaid wasn't even aware of the actually problem, but she could tell when something needed to be hushed. She wasn't stupid, just incredibly worried. As Cana's gaze intensified, Mira knew it was impossible to avoid the awaiting confrontation forever. Who knew how long it would be until Lucy was ready to come out about whatever it was that was bothering her.
"What's wrong, Mira." It wasn't a question, it was a statement. Cana wanted an answer and Mira would deliver it.
"Nothing," she replied in her usual, bubbly tone, adding a sweet smile to sell her friend. Cana didn't buy it.
The brown haired woman set her barrel on the counter and stood up abruptly - startling the Take-Over mage and garnering the attention of the few early guild members in the vicinity. "Don't lie to me," the alcoholic said in equanimity. "I've never seen you like this."
The S-class cringed inwardly. She knew there was no way she would last against Cana's persistence. The Card mage would end up glaring at her if she played it down and Mira was never able to handle her glare. True, she hadn't seen it very often, but when she did she always gave in. Offhandedly, Mira wondered if her glare had ever bothered Cana when they were kids. Then she remembered the terrifying eyes boring into her, awaiting a response. She quickly weighed her options: she could come up with something very convincing and risk getting caught later, she could tell Cana, or she could tell Cana and ask for her help. After careful consideration, she decided on Option C. She bowed her head and apologized.
"It's fine, but what's wrong? You look like you're really focused on that glass," Cana joked with a smile, trying to lighten the mood. "You've been drying it for, like, 5 minutes."
Mira blushed a light shade in embarrassment and set the glass down. "Can we go somewhere else to talk? In private," she added the last part, seeing as half of the early members were still looking in their direction. "It's something I'd really like to keep secret."
Cana raised an eyebrow before her mouth formed into an involuntary 'O' as she caught onto the discrete tilt of Mira's head in the direction of the guild members that were still watching. She sneaked a quick peek at them. Don't any of them have a life? They were still watching.
Obviously not.
She turned back to Mira and shrugged in response to her previous question. "Sure. Lead the way," gesturing with her arm. Smiling gratefully, Mira lifted the gate that connected the counter and let Cana behind the bar. Cana attempted to sneak a few bottles of wine, but Mira slapped her hand and made her walk in front of her into the kitchen.
"So what's up? Is something wrong?" Cana questioned as they entered, Mira closing the door behind them.
Mira was quiet for a moment, trying to piece the right words together like a puzzle prior to saying them, but nothing seemed to fit, so she gave up and came straight out with it. "I think something's wrong with Lucy."
Cana looked taken aback for a second before composing herself and raising a questioning eyebrow, silently telling Mira to elaborate. "I mean, she's been acting off lately. Her smiles seem forced and she's been almost unnoticably distant. And, just last night she passed out on one of the tables out there! She wasn't even drunk or anything!" Mira ranted worriedly, waving her arms around as she travelled from cabinet to cabinet, mentally taking inventory.
The Card mage stood in shock at the revelation. She had always considered herself perceptive, but for her not to pick up on it proved that Mira was more observant than the barmaid made herself out to be. Neither made a sound for several minutes. The air became heavy after Mira's much needed outburst as they both thought over any plausible reasons to Lucy's odd behavior. Cana broke the silence.
"When did you first notice?"
Mira sighed. "I don't know. Maybe a few weeks ago? I know couple days ago when she asked me for a milkshake I tried to make conversation about Team Natsu's last mission and she just . . . shut down. She was pretty quiet after that, finished her shake and went home. I think that's when I started to realize something was up."
The silence returned in the room and Mira was beginning to get freaked out. Cana looked even more serious than before, the gears turning in her head were practically visible. The Take-Over mage was not used to witnessing the uncharacteristic accounts of her friends, and it was starting to mess with her head, so she kept still at the kitchen counter fiddling with spices, waiting for the alcoholic to say something.
But Cana didn't say anything.
Mira's head snapped up at the familiar flop of her friend's sandals, and her jaw dropped in shock when she saw her move out the door. She couldn't keep the hurt from flashing across her face, nor the pain of betrayal that swirled in her sapphire eyes. I just told you something super confidential, and you walk away like it's nothing?! You better watch out, Cana, you may end up getting cut off for a very, very long time. Hurriedly, the barmaid followed the Card mage's actions and entered the bar.
She was quite surprised to see that, rather than downing as much of the toxic liquid as she was known to, Cana was rifling through the pages of Fairy Tail's mission log. "What are you doing?"
The brown haired woman merely glanced at her before her eyes continued scanning the entries. "You said you asked Lucy about a mission a few weeks ago, right?" Not waiting for a reply, Cana got to the point. "Well, maybe if we look into it, we can find out when and why she started acting weird."
Mira felt shame weave itself into her chest. How could she have even thought that Cana would just walk away from a problem, especially something as dour as this. They were Fairy Tail, for Mavis's sake! They didn't do that to each other, yet had Mira allowed herself to believe it. She swallowed the feeling down. "Good idea."
Cana just hummed and flipped another page. Mira decided to make herself useful and poured a mug of beer for her friend as a form of apology for doubting her, setting it on the counter next to the occupied woman. Cana mumbled a thanks, the mug already at her lips the second the glass touched the wooden surface.
Two mugs and five shots later, Cana flagged Mira down, having finally reached missions dated at least two weeks back. The barmaid quickly finished serving the guild members on the other side of the bar and rushed over to hear the results of Cana's search. "What'd you find?"
"Nothing helpful."
Mira's jaw dropped for the second time that day. "You're telling me that it took you-" she looked at the guild's wall clock "-an hour and a half to find nothing!?" Cana just shrugged. "Nothing very memorable has happened recently. Well, except the whole 'Edolas Thing,'" she said.
"And, Lissana coming back," Mira added, drying another glass subconsciously.
It was quiet as realization hit them both in the face with a possibility, and the air behind the bar counter became thicker. "Do you think that's the reason?" Mira asked, almost inaudibly, in consternation.
Cana thought it over before replying. "I'm starting to. I mean, think about it. Natsu and them could be so excited over Lis that they forget about Luce. Or, maybe she feels kinda like she's out of place or tagging along. A third wheel of sorts, I guess. It's possible either way, though."
Mira sighed and set down the - once again - over dried glass while Cana closed the mission log, putting it back under the bar in the shelf where she found it.
The quiet between them had returned, but didn't spread as far as it had before. Neither talked for a short time, the two friends relishing the silence, pondering the next step in their current quandary. "You should work the bar with me today. That way you can see how different she acts," the S-Class suggested after a while.
"As long as I get free drinks." Mira smiled. "Of course."
-/-
Uploaded: 11/1/14
Again, thanks for reading. Please, please, please, let me know if I'm doing a good job. Anyway, I'm not sure if this will be continued as it kind of just... happened, but I'm definitely going to try. Also, if I do continue it, I don't know when updates will be. School absolutely SUCKS and I never have time for anything, so I apologize for update times in advance.
I think that's all, so ...yeah. Thanks!
Darktense34