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A/N This is my very first fanfiction, so constructive criticism is very much welcomed. I plan to update once a week, but I can't promise anything.
English isn't my first language and I don't have a beta, so if anyone is interested in betaing for me, please pm me.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything (except Sarah)
Welcome in Mystic Falls greeted me the big sign. Welcome back, I thought to myself while I drove past the sign in my red cabriole. I parked my car on the outskirts, took my suitcase and decided to walk the rest of the way. I wanted to see Mystic Falls in all its glory and enjoy it. It had truly been too long. It felt good to be home. The last time I had been here, it had only been Stefan and me and I wasn't in a good place back then. This time Damon was here as well and I couldn't be more excited.
Flashback 1987- Mystic Falls
"Sarah? What are doing here?" I groaned inwardly. I should have been more careful. I didn't even check if I was the only one at home. I just went straight to my room.
Stefan entered my room without knocking. I swept my hand across my face to hide the few tears that were still visible. I didn't really think it made a difference, an idiot could see that I had been crying, but I didn't want Stefan to worry. I stared straight at the ceiling in hope Stefan wouldn't see my face.
"I wanted to come home." I said. It was true, I couldn't think of a place I rather wanted to be right now and no one would expect me to be here. The place didn't even hold any special childhood memories for me, it wasn't even the house I grew up in, but it was the closest thing to home I had right now. I just wanted a fresh start and forget that the last years happened. It was the perfect place to hide. "Is Damon also here?" While I didn't anticipate Stefan's presence, it could be comforting to not be alone, to have my family around me. I didn't have anyone else anymore. This thought depressed me. It would be really nice to have Damon around too, but I knew that his and Stefan's relationship was still everything but easy.
"No, I heard he is in Canada." I could feel his gaze one me. I could imagine how I looked without having so much as glanced at a mirror in days. My blonde hair was unwashed and probably looked like a bird had made it its nest. I spent the last days hiding and fleeing, the last thing on my mind had been basic hygiene. I had been too much occupied with crying my eyes out, a fact that could be clearly seen by my red and puffy eyes. No makeup in the world could hide that. I wore an oversized sweatshirt and jeans. I think this was by far the worst I had looked in my entire life.
To save the rest of my admittedly shrinking dignity I tried to act as if everything was perfectly normal, as if I didn't look like someone had hit me with a bus.
I really wished Damon would be here instead of Stefan. Stefan was too sensitive. I couldn't keep a secret from him. That was one of the things that annoyed me the most about him. Even when we were children he could see right through me and while he didn't go and tell father about me sneaking out, Stefan went always to Damon, because he knew I wouldn't listen to him. Nothing was more annoying than your little brother trying to lecture you. Damon was more oblivious to things like that, even though I doubted he wouldn't catch on my current state, he would have to be blind to not notice. Maybe it was better, he wasn't here after all.
"Is everything alright? You look kind of sad." Stefan observed. That was an understatement and we both knew it. I felt miserable, but I stayed silent. I wanted to tell him the truth, I really did, but at the same time, I just wanted to pretend it never happened.
"I am fine, Stefan." I lied therefore. It was just easier. I wouldn't know where to start and I just couldn't bring myself to relive the whole story by telling him. I would have to start at the very beginning and I just couldn't bring myself to do it. There was so much he didn't know about my life. Things I didn't tell him, because they were too complicated at the time or because they happened before we made up again. Damon and Stefan still had no idea what I had been up to in the nearly 70 years after we turned that we didn't talk to each other. 70 years are a lot to catch up on. I never had the patience to tell my brothers it before and I sure as hell didn't have the patience now.
"You know you can talk to me right?" He looked at me worryingly.
"I know, Stefan. Thanks." I said gratefully. He still didn't leave.
"Did you break up with your mystery guy again?" I quickly sat up and stared at him in surprise.
"My mystery guy?!" I repeated in shock.
"That's how Damon and I call him. You never did tell us his name." He pointed out and waited patiently as if I would change that now, I wouldn't.
"How do you know there is one mystery guy? Maybe I had multiple boyfriends." As far as I remembered I only told them once or twice that I was dating someone. I never told them it was serious and I never told them it was the same guy. Stefan just shrugged.
"The way you talked about him and the necklace you are always wearing that was obviously a gift from your mystery guy, the necklace that you're currently not wearing. So you did break up?" He concluded, but still phrased it as a question. I nodded slowly.
"Necklace is gone." I emphasized, hopping Stefan would finally leave, so I could go back to being miserable and crying. This time in the comfort of my own bed, which I didn't plan on leaving anytime soon.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"Nope. I just want to lie here. I am fine, Stefan." I reassured him. "Nothing, I didn't go through before." I cringed at my own comment. Sadly, that was true, but that didn't make it any easier. I really thought this time would be different. I thought we could make it work. I tried to blink the tears away that were threatening to roll out of my eyes again.
"I wish I could help you. I hate seeing you like this." His statement made me cry silently. There was no helping me. I didn't know if I would ever be okay again. I just couldn't get over him, no matter how much I tried. Every time I was fully convinced that I would never ever fall for him again, he just appeared out of nowhere and reminded me, why I fell for him the first time. It was pathetic really. I should know better. I did, it was just that I still loved him and overlooked our problems and his flaws. Did he have flaws? Nothing came to mind, nothing except him repeatedly cheating on me. I would always love him, but he would never love me enough. I started sobbing uncontrollable. I couldn't stop crying.
"I am fine." I said through tears. "I can handle it." That didn't even sound convincing to me. Stefan looked at me with pity. Normally, I hated that look, but right now I just needed my brother to hold me and tell me everything would be alright. Even though I knew it was a lie.
Whenever my brothers were in Mystic Falls, there was only one place they stayed at. That was exactly where I was going, the new Salvatore boarding house. I think the last time we three were together in the same town was 1912, also in Mystic Falls. That was almost 100 years ago!
Nevertheless, I didn't put much effort into packing, most of my things I kept here. Over the years I visited many places, but Mystic Falls would always be my home. I had my own room here, where I always kept some of my clothes and stuff I needed whenever I stopped by. Sure, most of my clothes were useless when I didn't visit for a long time. The fashion just changed too quickly, but when you're over 160 years old, you learn to adapt and just focus on the important things and throw everything else away.
No matter how much time passed between my visits, Mystic Falls never changed much. Of course the cars parked in front of the buildings changed with time, but otherwise it stayed the same. The Lockwoods still owned the same property they owned in 1864, it just expanded. Even the bar I knew from 1864 was still around. Women of class weren't allowed back then to enter, but father, Damon and George spend a lot of time in there. Now it was pretty much the only place to meet in Mystic Falls.
"Sarah?" A melodic voice with a strong British accent suddenly called behind me. Grinning, I turned around.
"Nik.", I didn't expect to meet him here, but it made sense. This was after all his hometown as well.
"What are you doing here?" He asked surprised, he caught up with me and hugged me.
"That's my hometown, I came to visit."
"Why?" Nik was so paranoid that he expected his downfall behind every innocent visit. I always thought I didn't trust easily, but Nik was even worse than me. Maybe that was why we bonded so fast.
"I could ask you the same thing." I was never good in this 20 question thing. I didn't like to talk about myself just like Nik didn't like it. I realized he still wanted an answer. He also was impatient, another thing we had in common. "I am visiting my brothers. I heard Stefan lost his way again." Niklaus saw briefly guilty to the ground. I added one and one together. "And you are in the same town. I am guessing it's all your fault?" I should have figured earlier. The last time Stefan had been consumed by his bloodlust, he was with Nik too.
"I have waited for you to finally make an appearance." He changed the subject, how predictable. The Mikaelsons were all the same, stubborn until the end.
"So yes." I said, why else should he avoid my question? "Really, Nik? Did it have to be my brother?" I asked slightly annoyed. I should be mad, but honestly, Stefan's bloodlust was something that had to occur eventually again. He couldn't keep up his bunny diet forever, Damon and I agreed on that. Nik just made the inevitable happen faster.
"Sadly, yes, it did." He answered honestly. I didn't expect that. What did that mean? But I knew Nik, he wouldn't explain it to me in the middle of the street where everyone could just listen in. Again, he was paranoid. As if some human would care about what we talked about.
"I want to see my brothers first, settle down for a moment." I said pointing to my luggage. "Let's meet in an hour at the grill. You have to tell me everything!" I stopped for a moment while I remembered something. "Wait, are you alone?" He smiled at me knowingly.
"I tell you everything, later, when we meet at the grill." That was not a satisfying answer and he knew it! Now I had to wait until later to figure out if it was a good idea to come back or if I should take my stuff and leave as fast as possible before I didn't have the chance to anymore. I wasn't ready to face my past. I wanted to hide a bit more. I just came to terms with myself, I was happy again. I traveled the world, met different people, made clothes for all kinds of people and studied at every imaginable university. I didn't want anyone to ruin my current happiness.
Nik just watched while I debated whether to leave or stay and did nothing to ease my worries instead he kissed me on the cheek and left me.
My stay in Mystic Falls seemed to become more interesting than I had anticipated.
I entered the Salvatore boarding house without any problem. I expected to need an invitation, but apparently, Damon still owned the house. I told them many times they should compel a human to live with them, so that no other vampire could enter, but they never listened to me. Damon was still under the impression that he could kill every intruder. He obviously didn't know the nosy Mikaelson family. I had enough unwelcomed guests to last me a lifetime.
"Damon, Stefan! I am home again!" I shouted through the house. It still looked the same, very antique and very Damon like. I heard noises in both of their bedrooms upstairs. A few seconds later they were both standing in front of me. I smiled at them both.
"Sarah? I didn't know you wanted to come!" Damon hugged me instantly. Stefan on the other hand stayed back and just watched.
"I heard Stefan lost his way again. I thought a little family reunion could help him get back on the right track."
"Ha. Ha." Stefan seemed unamused. "I don't need your help."
"Of course you don't." I replied sarcastically.
"We can always need your help." Damon gave his brother a meaningful stare. "This time it isn't Stefan's fault that he went nuts."
"Yes, I heard about that, but that doesn't change a thing." I looked at Stefan more closely. His facial expression was harder, his power stronger, I could basically feel it radiating through his body. This kind of power only came from drinking human blood, massive amounts of human blood. Stefan scoffed, apparently already bored of our talk.
"Did he turn off his humanity completely?" I asked Damon once Stefan was gone.
"Not on his own, but yes, he did. He was compelled to do it. He didn't have a choice. Well, he is free from the compulsion now, but his humanity isn't completely back yet." Damon probably expected that I would be confused by what he was saying, but I was more than familiar with the rules of the originals. It was annoying really. I drank vervain since 1902, by now I had come to be used to it, but that didn't mean I enjoyed drinking it. It still felt as if I would drink acid, but it wasn't as bad as it was in the beginning.
"We're going to fix him!" That's what we always did and until now we were always successful. That wouldn't change. Stefan just went through a phase, he would be fine.
"Let's hope so." Damon didn't seem convinced. "Do you want to head to the grill to drink something? You know a brother-sister bonding day. We didn't do this in ages!" He seemed excited to see me. I was too, but I already had planes.
"Sorry, I already have a date. But don't worry, I'll stay for a while." If the talk with Nik didn't change my mind on how long I would stay, I added to myself.
"You're not even five minutes back and you already have a date?!"
"Well, on my way here I met an old friend."
"Who?" He asked skeptically. I laughed. Damon could play the role of the overprotective brother perfectly. He used the same tone of voice he used back when I was dating George Lockwood. Damon and George were friends, but he never liked that his friend spent that much time with his little sister.
"Niklaus Mikaelson."
Damon's face turned white. "Klaus? Sarah, Klaus is the guy who did this to Stefan!"
"I thought so. Stop worrying so much, I told you, we'll fix everything" I reminded him again. It was clear that Damon didn't believe me. I sighed. "Nik isn't as bad as he seems when you start to know him. The stories of him are just exaggerations." Damon scoffed.
"Nik?!"
"I told you, he is an old friend." I shrugged. Hopefully, Damon wouldn't ask how I met him. I was tired of lying.
"Please don't tell me you slept with him!" He asked disgusted.
"EW! NO! Never!" I exclaimed. "And even if I had, I wouldn't tell my big brother about it!" Damon chuckled, obviously relieved. He didn't know that I sometimes thought about what would have happened if I had met Nik first and not his brother. Maybe I would have hooked up with him and my life would have been easier. Nik was attractive and charming, if he wanted to be. I was sure that if he wouldn't think love was pointless, he would have had a line of women waiting for him.
But I didn't meet Nik first and now I couldn't imagine being anything more than friends with him. He was my best friend, nothing more.
"I still don't like you meeting him." Damon said. I rolled my eyes.
"Well, it's not your choice to make." I replied and headed up the stairs to unpack my stuff.
My room was in between Stefan's and Damon's. I was supposed to be the buffer.
Damon had bought the house in the early 1900's when our family house had burned to the ground. He was the one who assigned the rooms. After I decorated my room, I told my brothers they were not allowed to enter. I am pretty sure Damon broke this rule several times. That's why I hid all of my more personal things under a loose plank next to my bed.
I opened the door. I didn't expect to see my room like this. It was a mess. I forgot that I destroyed it the last time I had been here. My otherwise neat red painted room with my sewing machine, my king sized bed and the pictures on the wall, was now a disaster. I had burned half my closet, everything that could remind me of him and I burned all his clothes that he kept here. My desk was broken. My books lay all over the place. The picture frames lay on the floor shattered. Some of the pictures I burned with his clothes. My sketchbook was ruined and fabric lay everywhere. It would take forever to clean that up. I looked under the plank. I kept a few pictures and drawings. Even in my crazy mind I was smart enough to keep some memories. I opened my suitcase, took my necklace with my ring on it and put it to the other things my brothers weren't supposed to find.
I went into the adjoining bathroom. Even that I destroyed.
"Damon! Stefan!" I called for them. They rushed to me immediately.
"What happened?" Damon asked looking at me worriedly.
"What happened? Are you blind?"
"I believe this was your doing." Stefan jumped in.
"I know that, but that's over 20 years ago. Why did no one fix it?"
"We are your brothers, not your servants!" Damon interjected. "As far as I remember we are not allowed to go in to your room. Besides, you should learn to clean up your own mess. Why did you even destroy all your things?"
"I needed to get rid of memories and my anger." I explained. "So you just left it like that?" I couldn't believe them! The windows were broken for 20 years!
"Next time you are heartbroken, don't destroy your entire room." Damon said smugly.
"Thanks, for the advice!" I replied sarcastically. "Where am I supposed to sleep now?"
"We have enough extra bedrooms. Why did you destroy your bathroom, too? Your room wasn't enough?"
"I told you, I had to get rid of memories!" I repeated.
"What memories do you and your mystery guy have in your tube?" He asked confused. I just looked at him. "Never mind, I don't want to know." Damon said quickly. I laughed and then I stopped. I didn't like Damon calling him my mystery guy so casually, as if he knew that there was a guy since the beginning. It made me feel like I sucked at keeping secrets and my ability to keep secrets was something I was pretty proud of.
"Get someone to fix that." Stefan said and left the room.
"Great, I thought I could come home and enjoy my room and now I have to sleep in the guestroom. I feel really welcome here, thanks." I said hurt. Damon laughed.
"You are always welcome here, but really, you should fix your room." It didn't look like I had much of a choice. I couldn't sleep in my room.
The grill was full this time of the day. I could see Nik sitting at the bar across from the entrance. He waved me over to him. He had already ordered for the both of us.
"Damon just lectured me. Apparently you're the devil himself and you ruined Stefan." I joked, while sitting down next to him.
"I just helped him accept his true nature. I am completely innocent." He defended himself and I laughed.
"Like always." I took my glass and emptied it immediately.
"So why are you in Mystic Falls?"
"I told you, because of my brothers." It was the truth. "Why are you asking?" I didn't look at him. I had a pretty good idea why he was asking.
"No particular reason." I could see that he tried to hide his smile. The next question came out of my mouth before I could stop it. I hated me for it. "Did you think I am here for a different reason?" He pretended to be surprised.
"Should I?" He knew exactly, what I wanted to know! Why did he have to make it so difficult for me?
"I don't know. Would I have a different reason?" I really couldn't get any more obvious! We both knew what I was talking about, but we both refused to say his name to stubborn to let the other win.
"Shouldn't you know that best?" He said grinning widely. He enjoyed my pain. "You are so obvious when you are fishing for information."
"I am not!" I denied quickly. He laughed and turned around, away from me to order the next round. The bartender came over to give us a refill. I told him to leave the bottle, I had a feeling I would need it.
"I am not really in the mood to chit chat, if you want to know something, ask!" I just stared at him angrily. No wonder no one liked him!
"Fine! How is your family?" I gritted and took a big gulp from the bottle. He laughed at me.
"Now we're coming closer. I am glad, you still care."
"I don't!" I denied again childishly.
"Of course not." Nik replied sarcastically.
"How long do you want to torture me for?" I asked impatiently.
"Finn is still in his coffin, so is Kol and since recently even Rebekah." That weren't exactly news to me. I expected as much.
"Recently? Did you free Rebekah? Was she angry?"
"She was, but I could calm her down. She was angrier at Elijah than you."
"I didn't even do anything to her!" I had been more than nice to Rebekah. She didn't like me though. Probably because her brothers liked me more than her.
"Well, Elijah daggered her for you!" He stated.
"I left because of that. So how is Elijah?" I asked as casually as I could. It was weird to say his name again.
"You ask about Elijah?" He pretended to be shocked. Jerk! "Didn't he call you?"
"Oh, shut up! You know exactly that we broke up!"
"I know that you broke up… again!" He added. "I am just not aware when you saw him for the last time?"
"1987. So?" I pushed further.
"He is here."
"Really?" I thought I would have seen him by now if he was here as well. Normally, Elijah didn't need long to find me. That's why I was constantly on the run. He knew me too well, I could never stay long in one place, in fear he would find me. But he obviously lost me this time. That meant I had still time to disappear. I looked around, half expecting Elijah to sit at one of those tables and watching me, but I couldn't see him anywhere. Nik watched me amused.
"Yes, but you won't meet him. He is in a coffin, too." I exhaled relieved. I wouldn't have to deal with him. I could stay in Mystic Falls.
"Why?" I knew Elijah was Nik's favorite brother. He spent the least of his time in a coffin.
"He tried to kill me."
"He is not that stupid, he loves you, he wouldn't do that." I knew Elijah pretty well and he appreciated his family too much to do a thing that dumb. Besides, he knew there wasn't a way to kill Nik.
"He did and he almost succeeded." Nik told me, taking a sip from my bottle. I couldn't believe it. Could Elijah really change that much?
"Why would he want to kill you? What did you do?"
"I refused to tell him where you are." I felt guilty. I made Nik promise to keep my whereabouts a secret.
"That may have annoyed him but that's no reason for trying to kill you."
"We fought. He was angry at me for being on your side. So I told him I had daggered all our siblings and had thrown them into the ocean." Now I understood why Elijah wanted to kill him.
"You didn't have to do that, but thank you." I said honestly. Nik could be a really good friend if he wanted to. "So Elijah is in a coffin." I repeated. In the past, I would have been extremely upset with Nik for taking Elijah's life, but now I almost felt grateful. It was still wrong, I knew that, but it made my life easier.
"You look relieved."
"Honestly, I am. It's just better if we don't cross paths, it never ends well."
"Because you can't keep your hands to yourself. It's always the same. You break up, you fall in love again, break up again and fall in love again."
"I get it!" I interrupted him.
"Pretty annoying!"
"Nik! I get it!"
"You're touchy today." He complained.
"Well, that happens when I have to learn that Stefan's drinks human blood again and switched his humanity switch! Why did you do that?" I changed the subject. Everything was better than talking about Elijah and me. Nik just shrugged.
"He wasn't loyal and opposed me. And I gave him back his free will, maybe Damon left out this part of the story." He did, but Nik was never as innocent as he made himself look like. Everyone he met opposed him, he could be a dick, and he shouldn't be surprised. I didn't say that though, he would just get mad at me. I didn't want to deal with his fool mood.
"That's why you will never find loyal friends." I pointed out.
"I don't need friends and I don't want them. I need people who do as I say."
"You're uncorrectable. If I am not your friend, what am I to you?"
"You're the woman who breaks my brother's heart over and over again."
"That's debatable." While I knew I wasn't completely innocent, I did my fair share of mistakes, Elijah broke my heart just as often. "You changed the topic again!" I grumbled. Nik was too good in manipulating people, even without using compulsion.
"Why did Stefan oppose you in the first place?"
"I broke the curse, I made the sacrifice. Your brothers fell in love with the Doppelgänger, wanted to protect her." He rolled his eyes.
"Wait, Doppelgänger? Like there is someone out there who looks exactly like Katherine?" Nik nodded. "That means Katherine had a child before she died? Someone impregnated that bitch?" I scoffed. "Once a slut, always a slut."
"Yeah, but it came in handy for me." I rolled my eyes, of course he would see it that way.
"So my brothers fell for the slut who looks like Katherine and you killed her to break the curse and now my brothers are mad at you?" I tried to figure this all out. I never thought there was an actual way for him to break the curse.
"Something like that, she died but your brothers found a way of bringing her back a human, what was very convenient for me, because I need her blood to make more hybrids."
"I don't get it, how did they save her? Did they you this elixir Elijah planned on using on Katherine?"
"Not exactly, you should really ask your brothers, all you need to know is that they want to kill me to stop me from using Elena's blood."
"Elena, that's her name?" I already hated her, what a stupid name. "So my brothers try to kill you? Are they insane?" Nik laughed. He knew as well as I did that he was truly immortal and my brothers couldn't do anything against him. It was really nice for him to let my brothers live despite their effort to kill him.
"Well, Love really is a vampire's greatest weakness. It lets people do weird things. But who am I telling this? You know better than anyone what I'm talking about." He grinned smugly. I snorted and got up. I really didn't need to listen to that. I wanted more answers, but I wouldn't stay here and listen to Nik crack jokes about my past relationship. I heard enough.
"I don't need to take this." I turned around to go.
"No problem, we probably will meet later today. Your brothers planned a dinner at my place. I am guessing you will come?" That was the first time I heard of this. My brothers and Nik in the same room that sounded dangerous. I turned around.
"I don't think so. Leave me out of this mess." I debated if I should say more or not. "And just for your Information, It's over for real this time. We didn't see each other in over 20years. I am over it. I moved on." He looked at me doubtfully. He couldn't know that for the first time in my life I really believed in what I said.
A/N So what did you think? How did you like the flashback? I plan on having a flashback every chapter. Reviews please?