Paper hearts
To all those who's been waiting a bit for my other fic, forbidden love, I'm sorry but, I'm still racking my brain for ideas. I just posted this 'cuz I found it written in a an old filler of mine and my friends encouraged me to post it. So, here I am. I hope you aren't mad at me :/
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Ever since I was little, my relatives hated me. Everyone of them, except for mother. I was always obedient and thoughtful to them, no matter how cruel they were to me. They would beat me, shout, starve me, and give me dirty looks at the time my mother leaves the house. Even my brothers would hurt me just for fun, but I still cared for them. I never told my her about them and I would just tell her they treated me well when in reality, they would lock me up in the basement and tell my mother I ran away.
Even after all that, I never harbored such a feeling of 'hatred' to them. I just bore with all the torturing without knowing why they do it to me, no matter how much it hurt, how blood stained my clothes were, how much they starved me, no matter how much they hated me. I didn't hate them.
That was, until I was nine that I found out why they all hated me, why my mother was the only one who would care and why I never saw my father.
I was an illegitimate child.
After I found out about this,
I hated myself too.
So much, that I would hurt myself.
And if that wasn't enough, I found out that I was the reason that mother's husband died.
Apparently, mother's husband accepted me and took care of me too. But His and mother's family kept coming back to my father and would tell him to take me back. My father got sick of this and went to our house one midnight with plans to kill me. But mother's husband caught him and protected me. It cost him his life though.
I had enough. I was on the verge of committing suicide.
Then, it hit me.
If I killed myself now, his death or sacrifice would be meaningless.
I decided to live on but i was different now.
They were all wrong.
They shouldn't hate me.
It wasn't my fault I was a bastard child.
I shouldn't hate myself.
I should hate them.
I was patient and forgiving, but they still treated me as if it was my fault I was born a bastard child.
They were staining my innocence.
I had all the reasons to love and care for no one.
I knew I should just look after myself now.
It did me good.
I hated them.
Despised them.
My mind lost its purity.
My eyes were dark and filled with strong emotions.
Every time my family would beat me, I would look at them straight in the eye and give them an evil, confident smile.
They would still beat me, but it would intimidate them more that I'd have a sly smile while I was getting beat up.
My tutors and the other servants were the one who would take care of me in my mother's absence. My grandparents insisted on my mother that I'd rather be home schooled so that fellow students wouldn't see my wounds, know how much I would bleed, and so that my family could torture me more. But of course, mother didn't know that and went along with the idea. They would pay the tutors and black mail them into not telling my mother or anyone else about my real condition.
"Kaoru, were you able to finish the assignment?"
My face was hidden in my hair, but he could see my eyes.
My dark, twisted eyes met with his cheerful, lit up ones.
I envied his eyes. They were so beautiful, violet and amber ones.
He smiled at me gently. I guess he already knew the answer to his question.
"alright, I'll let you off the hook this time."
He went closer and sat beside me. He lifted my face up and brushed my hair aside. It was full of wounds, and my eyes were misty.
"Happy birthday, Kaoru."
"Huh? what?..."
"It's your 12 birthday, isn't it?"
That's right. No one remembered except for him. Even my mom forgot. So did I.
It was amazing to think that the only person who remembered my birthday was my tutor. Someone not related to me.
He proceeded to take out a small box form his bag. It was wrapped with blue paper with roses embedded on it. In the middle was a pink frilly ribbon.
"Take it."
My hands were trembling as i took it from him.
"Go on. Open it."
I opened it slowly since my hands were still painful and wounded. I took a glance back at my teacher and he was still smiling at me.
after I opened it, a beautiful pendant sat on my hands. It was blue, and it shimmered like the ocean at dawn.
"It matches your eyes. Do you like it.?"
Tears fell from my eyes. This was the first time someone gave me a gift. My mom gives me too, but I never received any because of my sister. I was speechless.
I looked at him and saw that he looked a bit dismayed and remembered he was asking me.
I nodded and smiled at him to show my answer. More tears started to fall down from my eyes and he started to worry and asked me what's wrong.
"No... one.. ever done something... l-like this befo..re."
I kept on sniffling. It was true. Even I don't do anything special for myself.
He went closer to me and rubbed the tears off my face, being as gentle as he can since my face was wounded and painful.
"I can tell you're very masochistic."
His words shot me like an arrow. Bulls eye.
He held my face and stared at eyes were full of pity for me. My eyes were full of guilt.
Suddenly, he kisses me on the forehead and pulls me toward himself to hug me. My face was pressed to his chest and his chin was on the crown of my head. I could hear his heart beating.
I was holding the tears until now. I hugged him back and let it all out.
After such a long time, I remembered what a hug feels like.
It felt so good. So warm. I felt my innocence returning in me. My sanity. I felt loved and cared for again after the six years that mother left for abroad.
Finally, he let go and straightened up.
"Kaoru, let's take a break today."
"but... I don't.. want to be alone today."
He laughed at me and told me he wasn't leaving me, he as taking me out on my birthday.
I couldn't believe my ears. I haven't stepped outside of the gates of our house for the past few years, mainly because my family wouldn't let me.
"but.. teacher.."
He cut my sentence and told me he already took care of it.
"and by the way, since I'm not really your 'teacher' today, call me by name, ok?"
At that instant, I felt something warm in my chest. I know that love comes in many or various ways. Sometimes, you don't even realize it but it already has come and go, or it is already there, as I read from various books, sites, thoughts and poems. But it as at this time that I truly found out that love comes unexpectedly.
Just like at this moment it hit me. And I only realized it now.
This wasn't the kind of love that you feel for family and friends, considering that I haven't really loved any 'family' other than mother and that I don't have friends.
It was more than that. something far more superior than those kinds of love.
Even though we have a ten year difference, I knew that my love for him was the superior kind.
That man. He changed me, my beliefs, my stained innocence.
He was the first person that made me feel loved and alive.
That man. Kenshin Himura.
Lol, This is the edited one. I noticed that it had a lot of typos so I went to work right away XD
Finally! I finiished iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit! ahahahaha. thanks for reading :D please R and R :))
