Prologue
So, I have this theory. It's not one of those theories that need to be proven right because it'll change the world or anything like that. In fact, I'm not exactly positive it's a theory I want to share. It certainly wasn't one when it first occurred to me. It was entirely for me and was just my own way of dealing with everything that had happened. It was a construct that I figured I had created as my own coping mechanism. It was the result of a series of events I had full intentions of keeping to myself. I figured it was another one of those things that I'd hold on to, never letting anyone see the scars it left on me. But every time I drive down an empty dirt road just a little too fast, or pass by a classic car that's been given just a little too much love, I remember it all over again. My heart skips a beat. That familiar feeling of emptiness washes over me. That all-too-familiar loneliness. And it's then that I remember that it isn't my series of events at all. It's ours. And he deserves to have it shared.
My theory is that everyone's lives are a series of stories just waiting to be told. Whether it be a story of that one time you embarrassed yourself at the bank, or the story of the day your first little girl was born, every story marks a point of change. It divides our lives into a before and after. But every one of us has one story that stands out above all the others. It's a story which changes us so thoroughly that the before and after seem like two entirely different worlds. This is my story. But my story doesn't belong to just me. It also belongs to him, and everything he did for me. And, for the first time in my life, my story doesn't leave me the victim. He is.
In my story, I'm the villain.
It's my own little version of forever that was built and lost in my small amount of time with him. It seems so long ago now, like the vast expanse between me and that part of my past leaves it unreachable. Unreachable and dreamlike, as if it never really happened, but if there is one thing I am certain of it's that I'll never forget it.
This is the story of my time with Dean Winchester, how he fixed me… and how I broke him.