Love Confusion Chapter 1: I'm Confused, a big time rush fanfic

Love Confusion

Summary: Logan finds himself falling for Carlos, but he is terrified of his feelings for his best friend. What happens when Carlos finds out that Logan may like him? Twoshot, songfic based on Kat DeLuna's "Love Confusion" with a special surprise song at the end of the story. (If I tell you what it is, it would probably give away the whole story, so sorry, but I cannot tell you.) Cargan. :D

Author's Note: I'm still sick, but I'm getting better. I've had this in mind for a while now, and I finally decided it was time to get it done, especially with the lull in the homework that I've been getting, the fact that it's the weekend, and that I need to re-inspire myself for In This Dream We Call Reality. :) Enjoy!

Logan's POV

Don't know how we got this far
So attached now and it scares me

I wasn't exactly sure what I was feeling, but I was sure that I've felt this way for a while now. Every time I looked at him, I felt myself blush out of nervousness. I didn't know why I was feeling this way, but I'm pretty sure I was in love with my best friend – Carlos Garcia. And I was terrified.

This wasn't logical. How could I be feeling this way toward my best friend of all people?

We usually hung out together whenever James and Kendall went off somewhere. I know it's weird – I'm logical, sensible, composed, whereas Carlos was silly, carefree, and wild; yet, we never felt like we were being forced to hang out when James and Kendall ditched us – we just kinda did. And we got along pretty well if I do say so myself. Sure, we had our fights now and then, but somehow, we'd just start talking again as if nothing happened, and we never held our arguments against each other. It was a pretty good friendship, in my opinion.

So why I started falling for him, made no sense to me. A relationship with my best friend? A whole different connection based on a different sense of the word "love"? I was content with friendship, and so was he. These feelings for him would completely screw things up. I couldn't let these feelings take over. I couldn't risk something happening between us that would ruin everything…

But what if I do love him? What should I do? I tried to shake all this off. I couldn't deal with it. Nevertheless, I knew deep down that I felt some sort of connection to Carlos, a connection that went much deeper than friendship. I wasn't sure whether or not I wanted him to feel the same way.

Like a thief you stole my heart
And I'm falling in love so unfairly

He'd done it now. He'd made me fall head-over-heels in love with him. Carlos had just finished his audition for Gustavo Rocque. He fucking farted into the microphone. Of all the silly things that I've seen him do, I think that may have been the funniest. I know, most people would find it gross. But knowing Carlos and his inclination to do foolish things… I don't know! I was so confused why my feelings just kept getting stronger. I fell for my best friend… and it just wasn't rational.

Boy I hate that my
World revolves around you
And I hate my heart
Cause it hurts without you

We had moved to the Palmwoods to help James achieve his dream of becoming famous. However, the change in location didn't have any effect on my feelings for Carlos. Actually, I stand corrected. It did. I fell even more, especially after having heard him sing for the first time. I didn't know he sounded so good. In a way, I looked forward to rehearsals, just to hear him sing.

I knew that my feelings were growing dangerously strong. I wanted my best friend, but at the same time I didn't. I wished that these sentiments would just disappear. I tried everything to make them go away. But nothing worked. I even tried to not hang out with Carlos anymore, going off into the park alone or locking myself in my room so I could just read or think in complete silence. But whenever I did that, I felt lonely. I felt like I was hurting him, and that just hurt me back. I felt… I felt my whole being yearn to be by his side, my heart tugging me to go back to him. I couldn't feel this way… I COULDN'T! Why did this have to happen to me?

Why, why am I so lost in you?
And I don't even know me anymore
Why, I don't know why I'm so confused
Cause I'm hating that I love you this much boy
Confused
I'm Confused
I'm Confused

For the first time in my life, I couldn't make sense of anything. I felt lost, and that really upset me. Everyone around me noticed. Kendall, James, Katie, Mrs. Knight, Gustavo, Kelly, even Bitters… but worst of all, Carlos noticed too. And he wouldn't leave me alone about it.

You gave me goosebumps, every time
My heart skips a beat when you touch me
I'm so mesmerized

"Logan?" I heard that familiar voice say… the voice of the person with whom I was definitely in love. I was snapped out of my thoughts as I looked up from my bed to the doorway. There he stood. The one person who made me feel so confused, so lost, so stupid – and that's a long drop for me.

He was standing in the doorway looking at me sitting down. I looked at the clock. 3:17 PM. I've been sitting in my room for four hours, completely silent. Apparently, Carlos noticed. "You OK? You skipped lunch, and we're all worried that you're depressed or something," he asked as he sat down next to me on my bed.

He looked me straight in the eyes. I couldn't help but stare back at his beautiful, dark brown ones. They suddenly filled with anxiety. "Logan?" he said as he touched me. I could've sworn my heart stopped as I felt a shiver make its way up my spine.

"Sorry," I said. "I guess I'm just lost in my thoughts."

"Whatcha thinking 'bout?" Carlos replied. "I'm here to listen." He smiled. I had to get away. I really couldn't stay knowing how he made me feel.

"Umm… nothing. I gotta go." I ran out of my room, out of the apartment, out of the hotel. I couldn't be anywhere near Carlos. I just couldn't. Who knows what I'd do?

When I finally stopped running, I found myself at Palmwoods Park. It was completely empty, except for one blond boy, waiting for his girlfriend to return from shooting a new episode of New Town High. "Kendall!" I called out. He turned around and waved. I sat next to him, debating whether or not I should tell him how I felt about Carlos.

"Hey, look who finally came out of his room. You missed lunch, you know," he said.

"Yeah, I know. Carlos told me. Anyways, I need to talk to you about something… or rather, someone." I paused and tried to gather the courage to confess to him.

"It's about Camille, isn't it?" he said. Ugh not even. The only reason I went out with her was to try to forget about Carlos. Epic fail on my part. I shook my head vigorously, signifying a bit fat NO. "Well?" he asked, after a good few minutes of silence. "Are you gonna tell me?"

I sighed. I knew I'd eventually have to come out. "I think I'm in love with Carlos," I said, under my breath, hoping he wouldn't hear.

"WHAT?" I guess I didn't say it as quietly as I thought I had. "You're gay, and you didn't tell me earlier?"

"SHHHH! I'm sorry, OK? But I've been trying to sort out everything myself."

"So that's why you've been locking yourself in your room and staying silent for hours on end. Good to know you aren't depressed," Kendall replied.

"I think I'm getting there. I'm so confused, and I don't like it."

"Have you told Carlos? I think you should. Maybe he could help you sort out all your feelings."

Who told you, you could be mine?
I'm mad at you for this nice surprise

Suddenly, I heard leaves crinkling behind us. "He doesn't have to now." Shit. Please don't let that be who I think it is. I closed my eyes, terrified, as the crinkling got louder. I first sensed someone sit next to me and then an arm wrap around my shoulders. "So, Logie, you like me?"

I opened my eyes and looked to my left. There he was, smirking. He finally knew my deepest, darkest secret.

"You followed me? How much of that did you hear?" I blurted out, feeling my face grow hot with embarrassment.

"Everything after Kendall asked if your problem was about Camille, and you shook your head," he replied. "So, you like me?" he repeated. He leaned in, and our faces must have been no farther than three inches apart. He was still smirking, mockingly, if I must say so myself, and I was still embarrassed, and now angry. I couldn't believe he followed me, not to mention find out everything.

"Fuck you," I said, as tears welled up in my eyes. I pushed him away, and started running again. This couldn't be happening to me. I ran back to the Palmwoods, into apartment 2J and locked myself in my room as soon as I had gone in. I swore I'd never come back out. I couldn't face him, or anyone else, any longer.

Boy I hate that my
World revolves around you
And I hate my heart
Cause it hurts without you

I laid my weary body face down on my bed, hoping that sleep would erase everything that just happened. But sleep just wouldn't come. I couldn't stop thinking about Carlos, and how sexy he looked just then when he was smirking at me. Fuck. my. life.

I heard someone knock at my door, as the knob rattled. "Logan! Come on, don't do this again!" I heard Kendall say. But the heartache was too bad for me to move. I couldn't get up. I couldn't believe the embarrassment. I needed Carlos so badly, but I knew that he didn't like me like that. I knew that the smirking was just to mock me, just to play with my feelings, just to play a game with my heart. He never really liked me, nor would he.

Why, why am I so lost in you?
And I don't even know me anymore
Why, I don't know why I'm so confused
Cause I'm hating that I love you this much boy

You see I love you,
Then I hate you,
And I hate to, cause I love you
And I need you, then I don't need you
I don't know just what to do

I remained on my bed, face down and crying, for the rest of the day, thinking about Carlos. I hated how I couldn't get him out of my head. I hated him for that… and yet I loved him. No, I couldn't! Especially not after how he stalked me and found out my secret. NO! I definitely hated him. I never loved him. Not the way he was totally comfortable around all of us… not the way he took care of us… not his… beautiful, dark brown eyes… his tan skin… the way he bounced around when he was waiting… his sensitivity toward all our feelings… the way that there was a seemingly endless amount of energy concentrated in his short stature… maybe I did love him… Yeah, I did love him. WAIT, NO! Ugh. I hated him for making me love him, for making me so confused.

I think I hate you, yes I hate you
Wait, I love you, I love you
I'm really so confused,
I love you, yes I do

I thought about it over and over again. Switching back and forth between love and hate. He embarrassed me. I hate him. He didn't mean to. I love him. He's playing with my feelings. I hate him. He probably doesn't know what he did. I love him. He's adorable. I love him. He's making me confused… I still love him. He's knocking at my door, and calling out my name… I love him. He cares. I love him… I love him… I love him… that was something that seemed to be set in stone now.

But I was still too mortified to face anyone right now. So I lie there silently, waiting until he left. I knew my feelings for him wouldn't change. Now I had to think of what I could do about my situation: I loved him, but he probably didn't love me back. I sighed, thinking that I'd be alone forever, as I would never get the one person I really wanted.

Why, why am I so lost in you?
And I don't even know me anymore
Why, I don't know why I'm so confused
Cause I'm hating that I love you this much boy

Confused
I'm confused
I'm confused

But I was utterly and helplessly in love with my best friend, Carlos Garcia.

Author's Note: Hopefully you liked it, and hopefully I can get the next chapter up soon. I'd rather not work on two stories at once, although this one is only going to have a second chapter… still. I don't want to pile up a bunch of stories for me to work on, cuz I don't work that way. :P

Did you see last night's episode? Hahaha. They wrote a song 8D

Logan: The O-song is stupid.

Carlos: *goes after Logan to kiss him passionately*

… Hey, it's possible. You don't know what he was really thinking. *laughs maniacally* :P

Is it just me, or does Logan like to cross-dress? :D I mean, first to get into the all-girls school, then as a grandma, and now for Carlos… DON'T ARGUE WITH ME, IT WAS FOR CARLOS, NOT JAMES!

Ahem… Well, just stay tuned :D Oh, one more thing: REVIEW!