Hello. This is the second creation of PrussiaxPrussia (ie, Pineapplecat and Kenny's SpaceCadet.) Hope you all enjoy!
Canada is Sexy Even when Coughing up Copious Amounts of Phlegm
The light! It burns! These were Matthew's first thoughts upon waking up in the morning. His head was fuzzy, his nose was stuffy, and the migraine-inducing light was not doing anything for his pounding skull. "Ugh!" he moaned tiredly.
After getting out of bed and relieving himself, Matthew downed a couple Advil and crawled back under his nice, warm covers. He'd been planning on staying in bed all day; but, around 10 AM, his peace was broken by an unfortunate phone call. "Fkdaljflkdj!" he grumbled incoherently as he was startled awake by the loud ringing. He got up and made his way to the phone just in time to answer it. "This is Matthew," he said sleepily.
"It's Harper!" said the voice on the other end. "We have a problem in New Prussia!"
As soon as Matthew heard the word 'Prussia,' he groaned. Matthew sighed as he listened to his boss explain the situation. "Yeah, that's the one and only Prussia," Matthew said. "You won't be able to detain him easily. Have someone *cough* say I'm on my way..."
Gilbert was in Prussia. New Prussia, Canada that is. "This place is so awesome!" he exclaimed, looking around at all of the buildings. "An awesome homage to the Awesome Me! I'm more awesome, of course but..." He continued to talk to himself loudly, ignoring the multitude of humans who thought he was bat-shit insane as he walked down the street.
"Kesesesesesese!" Gilbert guffawed loudly as he spied a diner that might be able to live up to the awesomeness of the name Prussia. He hurried inside and ordered a wurst breakfast sandwich with a beer, ignoring the strange looks he received at ordering alcohol so early in the morning. When his order was served to his table, however, Gilbert spit out the drink upon the first sip. "This is not real beer!" Prussia yelled at the hapless waiter. "And this wurst is the epitome of suck!" Prussia yelled, taking a bite out of his sandwich. "This undermines the name of Prussia! It doesn't deserve to have the title of the Awesome Me!"
Due to his furious ranting, however, he failed to notice the manager whispering to the waiter that "someone has been called" and that "authorities were on the way…"
"Sir, I think you'll get the help you need soon..." the waiter said softly.
"What the fuck! I better be getting new wurst! Canada will hear about your incompetence!" Gilbert yelled in response.
Ten minutes later, some police officers had arrived at the eating establishment and proceeded to charge him with disturbing the peace. "Yeah, this guy definitely has some mental health issues," said one of the officers to his partner while attempting to handcuff Gilbert's hands behind his back.
"No no no no! The Awesome Me is not crazy!" Gilbert growled to the policeman as he dragged him out of the restaurant.
"Sure buddy..." the policeman grunted in response.
"You can't detain me! I own this place! It's named after me and my awesomeness!"
"..."
"Hey! What are you-" slam! Gilbert was pushed against the police car. "Ouch! Let me go! You can't search me!" One of the police officers was rifling under his shirt, and suddenly, Prussia felt one of his precious items being taken from him. "Give me that back!" Prussia yelled angrily as the officer shoved him into the car.
Prussia's request was not granted. At the police station, he yelled at everyone in sight, causing the police officers to have to move him to a separate interrogation room in order to keep him from causing such a ruckus.
"Sir, why do you have—count 'em—three World War II era pistols on your person?" The policeman asked Gilbert once he was restrained in a chair in the room, staring at the one way mirror.
"Because they're mine! You see…there was this big, giant war and they called it World War II, you know 'cuz THE WHOLE WORLD was involved! And West's boss was all like 'blah blah blah let's take over the world' and Arthur was like 'You can have the Czech Republic, just get out France's vital regions.' And we were like 'Fuck you eyebrows!' but then Kiku had to bother Alfred and Feliciano was a useless idiot and then everything went to hell… which is why I needed those guns! Duh!"
"We're going to bring someone in to give you a psych evaluation..."
"What? I'm not crazy! You know what? You're crazy! GIVE ME BACK MY GUNS!"
"I don't think that's going to happen very soon…" The police officer held up one of the guns. "Is this the Nazi insignia?" he inquired accusingly, pointing to the design on the handle.
Gilbert pulled frantically at his restraints. "CANADA – ER, MATTHEW – WILL HEAR ABOUT THIS AND YOU WILL BE SORRY YOU STUPID BAS-"
"Sir, I really must ask you to calm dow-"
"Detective!" one of the receptionists said, popping into the interrogation room. "There's a phone call for er, him..."
Matthew wished the plane would go faster. He had hopped immediately on his private plane, knowing he needed to get to Gilbert as quickly as possible before major problems occurred. However, knowing Gilbert, the problems were already occurring, so he decided to call the New Prussia police station to check in on what was happening. "Excuse me? Yes, I need to talk to a Gilbert Beilschmidt whom you are trying to detain right now but who *coughcough* is being too obnoxious for it to work." Yes, Matthew did know Gilbert this well. The person on the other end of the line didn't even have to ask whether Matthew was legitimate before putting Matthew through to Gilbert.
"Gilbert Beilschidmt!" Matthew growled as soon as he heard Prussia answer the phone. "What the hell are you doing?" Matthew forced himself not to cough - there was no reason for Gilbert to worry about him right now since there were more important things going on.
"Mattie! I did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING and these ASSHOLES just arrested me for no reason! The AWESOME ME! In my own town too!" Prussia whined. Matthew could only imagine the expression on the police officers' faces.
"Shh!" Matthew said angrily. "You're not supposed to say things like that in front of humans, idiot! And obviously you did something. Why else would they have detained you?" Matthew sighed. "I am on my way, so just let them keep asking you questions, alright? I will bail you out."
"Nooo! Mattie! They're bringing in a shrink... I don't like those..."
Matthew growled. How dare those stupid police officers bring in a shrink! Gilbert didn't need therapy! "Gilbert, you're just going to have to deal with it!" Matthew struggled to hold in another cough. "Just make up shit and stall until I get there!" Meanwhile, in his head, Matthew was envisioning himself decapitating the police officers who dared to bring a psychologist in to fix Gilbert, who was perfectly rational and wonderful and beautiful and sexy and awesome just the way he was!
"Fine! I'll just tell them why the AWESOME me shouldn't be detained. I'm sure they'll let me go afterwards..." Gilbert sighed. "Just get here soon okay?"
"I'm only a half an hour away," Matthew said gently. "I promise I'll be there soon."
"Mattie!" Gilbert cried the instant he saw Matthew's face. "FINALLY you're here! Let's get my guns and go!"
"Mr...uh...Williams is it?" a strange man said behind them. "Your, uh… friend here seems quite delusional. I would suggest…"
"Shut up Nurse Ratchet!" Gilbert snapped. "Let's go Canada! We can talk about the improvements this town needs later!"
Matthew apologized profusely for his lover's behavior, flashed a government clearance card which gave him the rights to take Gilbert off their hands, and respectfully requested for the guns to be returned. The staff was quick to oblige, obviously happy to be rid of the feisty albino. "Okay, Gilbert, let's get out of here," Matthew said softly as he led Gilbert away from the scene.
"That's right fuckers!" Gilbert laughed, flipping the police station the bird as his boyfriend dragged him off.
Matthew tried to restrain Prussia, chiding him. "What the fuck Gilbert!" he whispered. "I just saved you and you're making it even more difficult! Maybe I should just have left you there! What do you think of that?"
"No! Mattie! Don't leave me!" Gilbert wailed."I'll be good! Promise!" He continued to chant in this fashion as they entered the plane, whining about Matthew leaving and about how the town of New Prussia needed to be wiped off the map and replaced with Awesome Prussia.
Matthew said nothing as the two entered the plane, clutching his forehead as he tried to restrain his lover as well as his migraine. I hate everything.
Gilbert stopped whining to stare at his a lover for a few moments as they settled into their seats. His red eyes narrowed as he noticed Matthew's pinched eyebrows. "Hey, Birdie... you okay?" he asked suspiciously.
Mattie sighed, feeling his migraine attacking him from the inside of his skull. "I'm fine Gil," Matthew said with a fake smile on his face. "I am just worried about YOU is all! But I am happy we got on the plane so safely." Got on the plane safely? What the hell am I talking about? Matthew thought.
"...don't mistake me for your stupid older brother..." Gilbert growled.
Matthew wasn't sure what Gilbert was trying to get at. "I'm nbot America, Gil!" He sighed, realizing that his nose was starting to become too stuffy to talk normally. "I just want to go home ib peace, alright?"
After a half an hour of the plane ride, Matthew made his way to the bathroom where he could expel a couple coughs which he had been keeping inside of him the entire time he'd been with Prussia. I can't let him worry about me! He has so much to deal with already…
He's totally lying to me about being sick, Gilbert thought with a scowl. How can he lie to the Awesome Me? Whatever. I'll just have to get him to tell me the truth!
When they got home, Matthew told Gilbert he was going to go take a bath. "I just want to relax for a bit," he explained at Gilbert's cocked eyebrow. Matthew never took baths, so it was a strange thing for him to do.
"Ooh~ A bath! I want in!" Gilbert purred, turning on all of his 'Prussian Charm.' He crept closer to Matthew, making sure their lips were within kissing distance. "Doesn't that sound like a good idea?" he said, smirking as he leaned in closer... Either he admits that he's sick or we fuck… this is a win win situation! Gilbert thought triumphantly.
Matthew turned his head away, unsure if his disease was contagious or not but unwilling to let his Prussian lover get sick. Not to mention, he was way too tired to do have sex right now. "Er, Gilbert, nbot that I dob't like spending time with you, but, uh, I just kinthda feel like beibg alone right nbow?"
"What's the matter baby?" Gilbert cooed. "You don't like kissing?" And then Gilbert pulled away, suddenly angry. "Or maybe it's just that it would be too hard for you to breath during our hot steamy make out session!" he said forcefully. "You know, due to that STUFFED UP NOSE OF YOURS!"
Matthew stepped back, suddenly worried. HOW DOES HE KNOW? "W-what are you talkibg about? Stuffy nbose? I dob't have one of those!" Matthew winced as his stuffy nose prevented his 'n's' from coming out satisfactorily.
Gilbert just pressed on closer, "Ich glaube dir nicht..." he whispered in his lover's ear, before repeating, "I don't believe you..."
"I dob't have a stuffy nose! I'm nbot sick! I just don't wabt to be with you right now, is that so hard to wrap your tiny head aroubd?" Matthew stepped back again, closed his eyes, and shook his head as he was saying these things. This was uncharacteristically mean of him, but Matthew couldn't afford to have this happen! Prussia would be so mad that he was sick, and then Gilbert would complain that Matthew wanted someone to take care of him even though Matthew was fully capable of taking care of himself. This fucking sucks!
Gilbert responded by wrapping his arms around his cute little Matthew, disregarding his lover's rude comments. The Awesome Gilbert was never shaken! "Remember the talk we had after I lied to you about getting drunk in pub somewhere in London instead of coming to your family dinner with bushy brows, hero boy and Francis?"
Matthew looked at the ground shamefully. He'd been very angry with Gilbert and they'd ended up making a commitment to always tell each other the truth, no matter how bad it was. "Uh..." Matthew knew he was lying about his illness but his welfare didn't feel important enough to merit the truth - it would make more sense to avoid inconveniencing Gilbert than for Matthew to tell the truth and force Prussia to care for him and generally have to go out of his way to make Matthew feel better. "I rebember it," Matthew finally said.
"Yeah, you yelled at me..." Gilbert said. "But not because I missed that dumb family thing... you were mad because I didn't call you to pick me up. You were worried about my safety." He made an effort to put an emphasis on the word "worried."
"B-but that was you!" Matthew finally burst out. He coughed a bit. "That was whenb your safety was ib jeopardy! Not mibe! I can take care of myself!"
"Are you saying that I can't take care of myself?" Gilbert teased. Damn, was England that bad of an older sibling that Matthew thought sickness should be dealt with alone? "Come on; let me take care of you... please?" Yeah, he was worried for his sweet Birdie but... this made him think. When was the last time he had done something for another nation? Something that mattered? Now that he wasn't technically a country no one needed him. Everyone was always taking care of Gilbert; it was never the other way around anymore. Even today, his sick boyfriend had to come bail him out of jail!
Matthew looked down at the ground. "I just dob't see myself that way," he whispered, feeling his headache become worse. "I am supposed to put byself second; it's just how it is!" Matthew explained.
"Please please please please Mattie!" Gilbert whined. "I'll do an awesome job! I promise! Please! You don't have to worry about being a burden to me! It's not like I have tons of stuff to do or anything! I mean, I'll probably get into trouble if I try to get beer in New Prussia again so..."
Matthew giggled. "Prussia, really, I'm ndot worried about you doibg a good job, I know you would, it's just... do you really wabt to?" Matthew looked up at his boyfriend uncertainly. "Or are you just sayibg it because you feel like you have to?"
"I want to totally!" Prussia said excitedly. "I tried to take care of West a couple of weeks ago but he just got pissed at me and was all like 'Bruder leave me alone' and 'Bruder you're annoying' and 'Bruder stop trying to feed me with that stupid yellow spoon!'" Gilbert slicked his hair off his forehead and gave an impression of Ludwig's 'serious face' as he talked.
Matthew wasn't sure whether to be touched or worried. "Er..." He coughed again.
"Please? I'm super awesome at taking care of people! Promise!" he begged, squeezing his boyfriend a little harder.
Matthew gave in, hoping that Prussia didn't change his mind. "Okay, you cab do it," Matthew said quietly. "I'll just, er, go help you make me somb soup?"
"NO!" Prussia yelled. "Unacceptable!" With that he scooped Matthew up – awesome bridal style – and proceeded to sprint up the stairs.
Matthew held on to Prussia's arm for dear life. "What are you doibg? I cab walk up *coughcough* stairs all by mbyself!"
"Nein!" Gilbert said excitedly, starting to sound a little crazed. "I'm in charge now! No more strenuous activity!"
Matthew decided to let Gilbert do his thing. There's no way to stop him now! He lightly stroked Gilbert's arm, trying to let his boyfriend know without words that he was thankful that Gilbert was being so nice.
Slamming the bedroom door open, Gilbert practically ran over to the bed before setting Matthew gently on the mattress. He then rushed to the dresser to pull out some of Matthew's pajamas (of course he knows where those are since the lingerie was at the bottom of the drawer...and also the lube). Finding a suitable pair, he yanked the nightclothes out of the drawer and flung them towards his sick boyfriend, inadvertently hitting Matthew in the face. "Sorry babe!" he yelled, running out of the room.
"Where are the extra blankets?" he called over his shoulder.
"The side closet…"
"Cool thanks!" Gilbert yelled, flinging open the closest door in the hallway. He grabbed every single blanket-like object he could lay hands on and gathered them up in a large pile. He loaded up his arms with the bedding and ran back to Matthew's room.
Matthew looked upon the impending blanket attack with something akin to horror on his face. "Er, Gilbert, I hab enougbh blanke-"
"Nein!" Gilbert said, dumping the blankets on the bed. "Are you in your pajamas yet?" he asked impatiently.
Matthew had been looking at the pajamas that Gilbert had thrust into his hands, but he hadn't bothered to put them on. "Er, yes?" he tried.
"It doesn't look like it..." Gilbert chastised, peering at his patient with a suspicious half-glare.
Matthew didn't make a motion to put them on, feeling suddenly feisty. "What if I dob't want to wear pajamas to bed?"
"Then I will be forced to undress you down to your boxers..." Gilbert concluded logically without any sexual innuendo. Who ever thought that was possible?
Matthew blanched. "Er, *cough* Gilbert I dob't think that bill be necessary." Matthew really didn't feel up to having sex tonight, and no matter how innocent Gilbert sounded, Matthew knew he was always up to something. "I'm goibg to change!"
"Good!" Gilbert chirped, running into the bathroom. "You better be done by the time I get back!" he yelled through the door.
Matthew changed pretty quickly, but then took the time to take a few of the blanket-like objects which Gilbert had procured and hide them. He would be too hot otherwise. This guy is insane. I understand why Ludwig didn't want to be taken care of by him…
"I'm baaack!" Gilbert said in a sing-song voice. He was determined to do a good job with this. He would not fail his only important job! He would be the most awesome nurse ever! "Are you finished, love?" he asked cheerfully.
"I amb!" Matthew said hurriedly, backing up until the back of his knees hit the edge of the bed. "Er, what's that you're holthing?" Matthew asked, pointing to Gilbert's hand.
"Actually... I'm not sure cause the whole label is written in French but I think it's cough medicine or whatever..." Gilbert didn't realize that there were English instructions on the reverse side.
Matthew blanched as he took it from him. "Laxatives? Really? There ib Ebglish on the other side, Gilbert! You should hab read dat!"
"What?" Gilbert gasped, taking the bottle back. "Ooops! It's okay, I'll find the right one in a bit! Let me tuck you in first~ lay down!"
Matthew let Gilbert do his work, but the blanket situation was a bit tight and uncomfortable. "Er, Gilbert, I usually likbe to be loosely ubnder the blankets," Matt muttered softly.
Gilbert simply gave him a no-nonsense glare. "I'm going to go get the right medicine," he said, stalking off to the bathroom.
As soon as Gilbert had left the room, Matthew untucked himself and sighed softly. "Buch better!" He laid back and closed his eyes, hoping to be asleep by the time Gilbert returned. He drifted off almost instantly, gratefully to finally be back in his bed.
"Okay! Now I'm PRETTY sure this is the right one!" Gilbert screeched loudly upon entering the room.
Matthew was jolted awake and looked around groggily, coughing a few times. "Er, oh. Okay." He took the bottle from Prussia and gasped when he read the French. He sat up in bed quickly. "GILBERT! Bhat the fuck? Are you tryibg to kill me? THIS IS MOUTHWASH!"
"Come on Mattiiiie! Don't be mad!" Gilbert whined, taking back the bottle again. "Just because I hang out with Francis doesn't mean I understand his stupid language!"
"Well baybe you could hab asked me what cold medicine is in French and I could hab just told you! Or I could hab just gotteb it myself!"
"Well, what is it in French then?" Gilbert snapped.
"Médicaments contre le rhume!" Canada said tersely, sounding distinctly Quebecois.
"Was hast du gesagt?" Gilbert asked, unsure what Matthew was saying.
"MEDICAMENTS CONTRE LE RHUME! AND STOP SPEAKIBG TO ME IN YOUR STUPID LABGUAGE!"
"Fine! I will go get your erkältungsmittel..." Gilbert said, stomping into the bathroom. "Then I will make you some suppe..."
Matthew instantly felt icy guilt creeping through his veins as Gilbert stomped away. "Why was I so mbean to him?" Matthew wondered, feeling a headache pounding in his skull. He was in so much pain that he was saying things he really didn't mean...
Finally! Gilbert thought as he grabbed the medicine bottle. Gott damn it, it's only been five minutes and I'm already fucking this up! "I can't fail!" he told himself as he headed towards the bedroom. Upon entering he put on his best 'I'm going to take care of you whether you like it or not' smile and began to pour the medicine into the provided plastic cup. "Here you go, Birdie..." he said cheerily.
Matthew stared down at the bedcovers in shame. He's pretending to be happy when he's really pissed off on the inside! He is being passive aggressive and he's so mad and he hates me and why do I have to be so sick and my head hurts oh my fucking god I hate everything.
"Come on... please don't refuse to take it..." Gilbert mumbled, noticing Matthew's refusal to look into his eyes. "I'm sorry for getting the wrong ones last time. This one is right!" He nudged the cup against Matthew's lips for emphasis.
Matthew looked up hesitantly and took it, knowing Gilbert would just get angrier otherwise. Except, when he drank it, it tasted a little odd... he spit it out. "This is cherry soda Gilbert!"
"WIE? It was the right bottle this time, Mattie! I swear!" Gilbert yelped. "Look! Why would cherry soda have a child proof cap anyway?"
"DAMMIT GILBERT, FOR ALL I KNOW YOU OPENED THE MEDICINE, DUMPED IT OUT, AND PUT THIS CRAP IN IT!" Matthew yelled. He clutched his temples, the incessant headache not leaving him. "God dammit!" he whispered, feeling his eyes tear up. "Gilbert, I'm so sorry!"
Gilbert didn't know what to do now... How was he supposed to care for his beloved Mattie without any medicine? "I, uh..." he mumbled. No! He couldn't fail! No way! "I'm going to uh... make you some soup! Bye!" With that he ran out of the room and down the stairs.
Matthew gasped. Although he'd felt bad about being so snappy, he had for some reason expected Gilbert to say it was okay, that Gilbert forgave him. Oh no... Matthew started to feel panicky. How was he going to make Gilbert not angry with him anymore? Why do I have to be sick? If I hadn't gotten sick none of this shit would be happening and it could go back to what it's supposed to be - me keeping him out of trouble! Matthew, sitting up against the headboard, let his head fall into his hands. Mon dieu...
"Okay, so I just turn on the stove..." Gilbert mumbled while twisting the knob as far as it would go. "And uh... pour the soup into the pan thing?" He dumped the contents of the can of soup into the frying pan he had found in one of the cupboards. "There we go! Now all I have to do is wait a couple minutes." Truthfully, Gilbert hadn't cooked anything besides Hot Pockets in several years. That was West's job. "Hope it turns out alright..." he mumbled to himself before walking to the downstairs bathroom, hoping to find some extra cold medicine there.
"Wo st es...?" Gilbert muttered to himself, searching the bottom cupboard thoroughly, making sure to fling all objects that weren't cough syrup onto the floor (some even rolled out the door). "Where is it?" he reiterated.
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP! A loud noise echoed through the house...
Matthew heard the fire alarm and screamed. He got out of bed (ignoring the blaring migraine) and rushed downstairs. "Gilbert! Where are you!" he yelled, incredibly worried that his lover was in trouble.
"It's nothing! Nothing!" Gilbert yelled, rushing to the kitchen and turning off the oven, noticing that the soup was ON FIRE. "Go back to bed, Mattie! Now! Nothing's the matter! Everything's fine!" Meanwhile he was transferring the smoldering pan into the sink to douse it with water.
Matthew was gaping at the smoking mess of the kitchen. "D-did you set something on fire?"
"Nein! Nein! Go back to bed!" Gilbert said, trying not to appear upset. "Please! Just go!" He looked in horror as the cold water deformed the pan, and he distinctly remembered West once telling him never to put a hot pan into the sink. I guess that's why… FUCK.
"Why did you set it on fire, Gil?" Matthew asked. Please don't say to get back at me for being such a dumbass... oh god...
"What do you mean why? I don't know! I must have cooked it wrong! Just go back to bed!" Gilbert yelled before adding in a quiet, "…Please?"
Matthew nodded quietly, stepping backwards slowly. "Sorry," he whispered.
"Arhgh! No, don't be sorry! Just relax, I'll fix everything! Promise..." How am I going to fix this mess?
Matthew nodded, though he wasn't sure what Gilbert was talking about, really. Matthew rushed upstairs quickly, leaving Gilbert to himself.
Gilbert sighed in relief when Matthew finally left. Now he could scrape the burnt Cream of Chicken Soup off the bottom of the pan. Gilbert sat down on a nearby barstool, sighing in defeat. It wasn't fair! He just wanted to do one thing for someone else. Just this one time, he wanted to feel needed again, to do something right. Everyone thought of him as a burden: Ludwig, Roderich, Elizaveta... Matthew. Hell, Feli probably found Gilbert burdensome, and Feli was already a ridiculous burden to everyone around him. It was always 'Poor Gilbert isn't a real country anymore' and 'Better make sure he's not drinking too much because...' and 'Don't tell him there's a meeting today, that will make him feel bad...' Maybe they were right to think that. Hell, he couldn't even complete the simple task of taking care of his sick boyfriend. All he had done today was cause Matthew more trouble...
Sighing, he grabbed his cell out of his pocket and pressed speed dial number 2.
"What's wrong bruder? Are you okay!" Ludwig's voice screamed from the other end.
"Kinda... well, not really, actually…" Gilbert mumbled.
"What's the matter?" Ludwig asked gruffly. "Russia? Raiders? Mounties?"
"Nein… Luddie, remember when I tried to take care of you when you were sick a couple weeks ago?" Gilbert asked quietly.
"Oh, when you burned my throat with soup and accidentally choked me while taking my temperature?"
"Yeah...that time..." Gilbert whispered. "Why am I so useless?"
"Bruder, you're not useless," Ludwig said uncomfortably. "You've helped me a lot throughout my life. I think you just have trouble taking care of sick people." Ludwig always was blunt.
"B-but I don't help you now... and now Mattie's sick and I almost burnt down his kitchen and I can't find any cough syrup and-"
"Bruder! Calm yourself!" It was much more comfortable for Ludwig when he was ordering people around. "You are not useless! You took care of me so much when I was little. I would have disappeared without you. And you do take care of him, do you not? What would he be doing without you? Sitting home by himself with that stupid panda, ja! You make him happy, you idiot. Without you he'd be miserable."
"I'm pretty sure Kumajirou is a polar bear, bruder..." Gilbert said. "But thanks, I guess. What should I do then? How do you take care of Feli when he is not feeling well?"
"I-I-I-I don't t-think this is something we should discuss, Bruder!" Ludwig stuttered.
"Please Bruderlein! I need help!" Gilbert whined. "You can't leave me hanging like this! Come on! It's not like I can't hear you and Feli when you have sex on the kitchen count-"
"BRUDER!" Ludwig sighed, putting his forehead in his free hand on the desk. "Sheesh, if you really have to know... Feliciano is obsessed with, uh, s-scented oil, and, whenever he is in a b-bad mood, I, er, well, I give him, a massage... he likes the c-cinnamon scent," Ludwig couldn't resist adding, a goofy grin popping up on his face as he thought about Feliciano.
"Yes! That is an Awesome idea! I can do that, no problem! Roderich taught me how to give great massages yeeeeears ago..." Gilbert responded, grinning happily. "Thanks Ludwig!" After hanging up the phone, he pulled on a jacket and yelled up the stairs to Matthew, "Hey Babe! I'm going to go to the store and get some cough syrup! Let's hope the clerks speak English!"
Matthew's heart sunk. He's leaving! Matthew would have gotten out of bed to stop him if he'd had the energy. No! Come back! I need you!
And then, it hit Matthew. As much as he wanted to be there for Gilbert when Gilbert needed him, Matthew needed Gilbert too. He needed Gilbert to take care of him, to care about him, to love him. Without it, Matthew would go insane. Even if Gilbert preferred to spend time away from Matthew, Matthew still selfishly wanted him to return, because Matthew wanted him, needed him, craved him.
But of course, fifteen minutes later Gilbert returned. "I'm back sweetie dumpling!" Gilbert yelled as he burst into the bedroom using the sappiest nickname he could come up with. "Guess what! I bought cough syrup and a surprise! You'll love it!"
Matthew gasped, trying to wipe his face but knowing his eyes were puffy from crying. When Gilbert pushed open the door, Matthew turned onto his stomach, burying his face into his pillow to pretend to be asleep.
"You awake, Mattie?" Gilbert purred, crawling onto the bed. "I have a super awesome surprise for you! Don't you want it?"
Matthew kept his head down, hearing the sexual undertones in Prussia's voice. "I-I really don't think I'm up to that right now, Gil," he said softly. "I'm sorry, I really am!"
"What? I didn't even say what the surprise was yet! All you have to do is lay there!"
Matthew moaned, but not in the good way. He finally turned over, sitting up against the headboard. "Gilbert, I can't have sex right now, I'll pass out, my head hurts, my stomach is nauseous, and I know you're mad at me because I've been so rude and I want to make it up to you but I'll die if we have sex, please can we just wait until later, I'll make it up to you! I'll make this whole day up to you when I'm not sick and you don't have to deal with me!"
"Huh?" Gilbert gasped. "Uh...Matthew...I wasn't alluding to sex..." he said, before saying with a smirk, "Surprising huh?"
Matthew cocked his head in confusion. "Er, well, then what were you going to do?"
Gilbert reached into his bag, finding the small bottle he had bought. "See? Doesn't that sound great?" He asked, showing his lover the liquid.
Matthew looked at the bottle dubiously. "Gilbert, didn't you just say you weren't alluding to sex? I can't fuck you either, you know. I'll still die."
"Huh?" Gilbert asked before looking at the bottle. "I could have sworn this was..." He reread the bottle. "Yeah, the English side says this is massage oil... is it different in French?"
"M-massage oil?" Suddenly Matthew understood. "Oh, okay. I see. Well, I probably am not too tired to give you a massage, although I am not really very good, so you probably won't like it very much..."
"No! Bad Mattie!" Gilbert chided. "Who is the sick one between us, silly?"
Matthew looked at him curiously. "Er, well, I'm sick, but, I thought you were still mad-"
"B-but I was never mad at you, Mattie..." Prussia was really confused.
Matthew was also confused. "I could've sworn… I snapped at you so many times! And then you left!"
"I told you, I was getting cough syrup..." Gilbert said, before adding, "Duh."
"But before that! When I told you to stop speaking in your language! Which really isn't stupid, I just said that!"
"It's okay, really, babe!" Gilbert said, smiling. "I know your migraine-filled mind is making you say totally un-awesome things that you wouldn't normally say. All that matters is you getting better. I want to do a good job taking care of you!"
Matthew was surprised now. "No one has ever said that to me before..."
"What?" Gilbert gasped. "B-but... when West was little, he always needed to be taken care of because he was so small and... Didn't anyone look out for you?" Depending on his lover's answer, Francis and/or England could expect a punch to the face soon...
Matthew shrugged. "Er, I've always been so far North that it's hard to g-get to me when I'm sick," he said, shrugging again.
Well, that decided it – both France and England were getting bitch-slapped. "Don't worry then! I'm here now... Sure, I suck balls at being a nurse, but I'm trying okay?"
Matthew shrugged again, staring down at his hands. "I-I guess," he murmured. "You're not a terrible nurse. You just, uh, sometimes you are a little, er, loud, but really, you're a good nurse. I mean, you're taking care of me, right?" Matthew said, smiling gently. "No one has ever done that so you're the best nurse I've ever had!"
Best. Nurse. Mattie. Has ever. Had. Who cares if he was the only nurse Matthew had ever had! He was a super awesome nurse who was doing an awesome job! "Awesome!" he yelled loudly.
Matthew was taken aback by Prussia's happiness, but it made him grin. "Awesome," he said softly.
"Okay, here we go! I know I'm good at massages, Roderich has confirmed!" Gilbert laughed, gesturing for Matthew to turn over.
Matthew complied, feeling Prussia taking off his pajama shirt. "It's cold in here *cough*" said Matthew.
"I'll get you warm soon, babe!" Gilbert chirped, rubbing a good amount of oil on his hands.
Matthew shivered at the feel of Gilbert's hands. "Man, this feels good…"
"Does it, sexy?" Gilbert mumbled, slouching forward to whisper in his "patient's" ear.
Matthew coughed again, feeling himself starting to hack up some phlegm. "G-Gilbert..." I am so not sexy right now.
"What?" Gilbert said innocently. "Did I do something wrong?" Suddenly, Gilbert was nervous again...
"I just *coughcoughcough* don't really feel sexy right now..."
"You'll always be sexy to me, Mattie..."
Mattie couldn't resist turning his head to look up at his lover. "Even when I'm sick, pale, and coughing up phlegm? You can honestly say you still want to fuck me?"
"Come on babe! There's no way you can be not sexy!" Gilbert answered, laughing. "But... I know you're sick right now...silly goose!"
Matthew shifted. "But I mean... say if I were to get energy all of a sudden..."
Gilbert just gave him a shit-eating grin. "You know it, babe!" he said. "Does that mean you want to…? Right now?" Gilbert couldn't help but be the slightest bit excited.
Matthew laughed. "Well, I really don't have any energy right now, but maybe, you know, tomorrow... For now, I am *yawn* happy with this..."
"Sleepy?" Gilbert asked, still talking right into Matthew's ear.
Matthew barely managed to say yes.
Gilbert said nothing, but gathered the covers up over Matthew's still form. Once he deemed Matthew properly tucked in, Gilbert curled up next to his lover, stroking his cheek.
Suddenly, a memory popped unbidden into his mind.
"B-b-bruder..." a soft voice murmured.
"It's late, Ludwig, you should be in bed," Gilbert responded, not looking up from the battle plans splayed across his desk.
"B-but Bruder, my head hurts... and my nose..." Tears started to fall, much to the little nation's chagrin. "Please, I can't sleep..."
Gilbert quickly abandoned his work, reaching down and picking up his sick little brother. "There, there bruder, weine nicht...don't cry..."
Gilbert slowly carried the poor boy to his own bedroom, laying Ludwig on the large bed. He tucked Ludwig in before lying next to him. "Let me sing to you..." he said.
"Häschen in der Grube saß und schlief,saß und schlief. Armes Häschen, bist du krank, daß du nicht mehr hüpfen kannst?" Gilbert sang softly, hoping his voice wouldn't irritate Matthew too much as he softly petted his hair. This lullaby always worked on Ludwig.
Matthew wanted to tell Gilbert his voice sounded pretty, but it made more sense to just drift into sleep instead.
Gilbert smiled as he watched his boyfriend's eyes drift closed.
"Häschen hüpf! Häschen hüpf! Häschen hüpf!"
Gilbert woke slowly the next morning, suddenly intensely aware of a searing pain in his head. "Ah fuuuuuck!"
Matthew woke up to the sound of his boyfriend cussing. "G-Gilbert?" he said groggily. "Wassit?"
"Mattie..." he whined. "I feel like craaaaaap..."
Matthew was slightly horrified. "It looks like I got you sick..."
"Tha means we canb kiss right?" Gilbert said, trying to be sexy but was slightly deterred by his stuffy nose.
Matthew grinned. "Well, I'm actually feeling slightly more energetic this morning, so maybe we can do something else…"
"Mmmmmhmmm..." Gilbert mumbled, trying to stay awake long enough to carry out that Positively Awesome Idea, but failing as his eyes drooped shut again.
Matthew grinned. "But, it looks like you aren't... why don't you go back to sleep silly? I'll go make you some soup."
The End.
And... there you have it!