I am a sick person. Truly sick.

Title is first thing that popped into my head.

Warnings: Randomness, OOCness, Akatsuki, dead bodies, cannibalism...so on...

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto! I do not own Llamas with Hats, either...hehe

"ITACHI! There's a random dead person in the base!" Kisame exclaimed.

"Oh, hey!" Itachi said, looking down at the man. "How did he get here?"

"Ittaaccchhii, what did you doo?" Kisame whined.

"Me? Well, I didn't do this." Itachi said, looking up at Kisame, who frowned.

"Explain what happened, Itachi!" Kisame said.

"I've never seen him before in my life." Itachi said, looking at some spot behind Kisame dreamily.

"Why did you kill this innocent person, Itachi?"

"I do not kill innocent people. That is – that is my least favourite thing to do." Itachi said. Kisame's eye twitched.

"Tell me, Itachi, exactly what you were doing before I got back." Kisame ordered.

"Alright, well, well I was upstairs." Itachi began.

"Okay..."

"I was – uh – I was sitting in my room."

"Yes?"

"Reading a book."

"Go on."

"And – uh – well this guy walked in."

"Okay."

"So I went up to him."

"Yes?"

"And I – uh – well I stabbed him thirty-seven times in the chest."

There was silence for a moment. "IIITTTAAACCCHHHIII! That kills people!"

"Oh! Oh, wow. I totally did not know that."

"How could you not know that? You're a ninja, for crying out loud!" Kisame slapped a palm to his forehead and sighed.

"Yeah, I might be in the wrong here...This sucks."

Kisame then noticed something. "What happened to his hands?"

"What's that?"

"His hands. Wh-why are they missing?"

"Well, I – uh – kind of – uh – cooked them up. And ate them." Itachi said, not looking disturbed.

"ITACHI!"

"We-well I was hungry and well, you know, when-when you crave hands that's..."

"Why on earth would you do that?" Kisame asked, kind of sickened.

"I was hungry for hands, gimme a break!"

"ITACHI!"

"My stomach was making the rumblies."

"Itachi!"

"That only hands would satisfy."

"What is wrong with you, Itachi!"

"Well, I kill innocent people who I have no reason to and I eat hands. That's-that's two things."

I am a sick, sick person! DON'T LOOK AT ME!

I will add extra chapters, all Naruto versions of Llamas with Hats...

REVIEW OR I WILL EAT YOUR HANDS!