Title: Nothing to Fear, but fear himself
Summary: John Smith fears the life of the Doctor more than any Family of Blood.
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Don't own Doctor Who, the characters or anything related to the show.
A/N: A little late I've only just watched the end of the Family of Blood. I hate working Saturdays.
'I'm not…I'm John Smith! That's all I want to be, John Smith. With his life! And his job…and his love. Why can't I be John Smith?'
The Doctor stared at the blue box sitting over the way and came to a heart-sickening realisation. He was not John Smith. He was not a teacher and he was not human. He was the Doctor. The last of the Time Lords…and he was so very alone.
Everything he had written about in his journals was true. The Adventures and the monsters. The pain and the death.
Everything. Including her. The blonde time traveller, Rose Tyler. The girl he'd lost. He remembered feeling like he was dying from the pain of losing her. Becoming so lonely again was out of the question. He wouldn't do it.
'Falling in love that didn't even occur to him?'
Even as John Smith he understood why. The Doctor wasn't capable of love, not anymore. He could love humanity, he could bananas, he could even love Martha as a companion…but he could not fall in love. Not again. He couldn't take the heartache.
The cruel, merciless watch showed him everything he could never have if he was to return to being the Doctor. 'The Time Lord has such adventures, but he could never have a life like that.'
'But I could.'
He had to choose. Finally. The lonely life of a Time Lord, with all it's pain and loss or the chance to start fresh with a woman he could love.
In the end he chose duty. He was a Time Lord. The last of the Time Lords. Both John Smith and Rose Tyler were gone. Trapped beyond the Doctor's reach. Forever.