AN: Got this idea from a bunny over at the TF Bunny Farm on LJ. It's short, but I felt the need to drabble tonight. I'm working on an update for The More Things Change, I promise.

Disclaimer: I don't own, much to my dismay.

~-~-

They were perfect.

Five differently colored Seeker chassis stood in a row against the wall. One was a little slighter and shorter than the others, but with the All Spark shard in it, it wouldn't make any difference in the long run. Starscream smirked as he pulled bits of the shard out of his forehead and placed them in his clones. They powered up slowly, but their optics soon flickered on.

They were perfect.

Until they started speaking.

~-~-

"What the slag is going on here?!" Starscream yelled.

"Blue is not picking on Purple," the white one answered. Purple was cowering in the corner with Blue standing over him, singing his own praises.

"And the little one and I are watching the feeds from Earth just like you asked, oh wise leader," the yellow one said.

It had been an Earth week since Starscream had created his clones. In that week, he'd had the worst processor ache in history.

"I wouldn't pick on him if he wasn't such a coward," Blue sneered. "Honestly, it's hard to believe a little grease spot like him came from the same maker as me."

"Hey! I am not the one that does all the lying around here!" White said.

"Please don't fight," Purple whined. "Or at least leave me out of it. I don't want to be involved."

"I'm sure you'd be a fine fighter," Yellow said. His optics shifted to Starscream and he smiled ingratiatingly. "Though not nearly as great as our creator."

"It's true!" White piped up.

"I don't believe you," Purple said. "You lie about everything."

"I do not!" White loomed over Purple, making him cringe back into a corner.

Blue scoffed and started walking out of the room. Starscream grabbed him roughly by the shoulder. "Where do you think you're going?" he asked.

"I'm going to find some polish." Blue answered. "One of us should look good. Not that I don't already."

"You aren't going anywhere! We have work to do!" Starscream shoved him back into the room. "First, I'm tired of calling you by colors. You…" He pointed to Blue. "are Thundercracker. Skywarp, Jetfire, Sunstorm, and…Dirge."

"Dirge?" the little one asked. This one had a decidedly feminine look to it. Confusing, considering she was cloned from a mech, but the All Spark was a strange power source.

"Something about you should at least be threatening," Starscream explained.

"I think it's great," Jetfire said. He frowned and crossed his arms. "I love my designation. I'll keep it forever."

"I can't complain about mine," Sunstorm said. "It must have taken true genius to give us such fitting and perfect designations."

"Do you think people will laugh at mine?" Skywarp asked.

"At least mine isn't as bad as Jetfire's," Thundercracker said. "I at least sound like a proper Decepticon."

Starscream put a hand to his forehead as four of the five descended into an argument about their designations. This was going to be a long cycle.

Dirge smirked and sauntered over to him. "Now you know what Megatron goes through whenever you open your mouth."

"I hate you."

"Self-loathing is a bad thing last time I checked, boss."