Sawyer
I can't stop looking at her. She's always just walking past, or standing further down the beach talking to someone, or carrying food or firewood. She's always just within reach, and yet she seems so far away from me sometimes. I want to be with her, I need to be with her, but I can't. I don't deserve her. She deserves someone good, someone good and kind, someone like Jack. She doesn't deserve me. The criminal. The conman. The liar. The cheat. The killer. She doesn't need to be stuck with me. She deserves a normal life – husband, nice house, three kids, even a goddamn dog and school plays and bakesales and dinner parties and kids' birthdays and anniversaries and Sunday morning lie-ins with the papers.
I can't give her that. I want her, I need her, sometimes it hurts so bad I think I'll die without her, but I have to be strong and stay away from her. I can't have her. I don't deserve to be that happy.
But in my dreams, she will always be mine.
Kate
Part of me keeps saying I have to choose. I like Jack – the sensible one, the doctor – but I like Sawyer - the reckless one, the dangerous one - at the same time. Jack can be wonderful, but he always needs to be saving someone. Sawyer can be a jerk, but when you get to know him there's a really nice guy in there.
I wish I didn't have to do this.
I wish I could hate one of them, and have this choice taken away from me.
But that won't happen.
I choose…
…Jack? He's great, he's kind and caring and wonderful and all things normal and wholesome. If I pick him, it's marriage and kids and suburbia. I… don't know if I want that. I don't think I would fit it there.
…Sawyer? We fit together. We're the same, Sawyer and I. Same kind of background – except I killed my daddy and he didn't, same lives always on the move. But he's dangerous. He could hurt me – not physically, but in my heart. But then, I could do the same to him. I don't want to hurt anyone.
I choose…
You.
You know who.