A/N: This short story is based on a nightmare I had I can't tell you what happened in the nightmare (it would give away the story), so just read on. Only thing you gotta know; Syaoran hasn't confessed his love for Sakura yet, but Sakura is in love with him. By the by, if you're interested in CCS Roleplaying, head on over to http://groups.msn.com/CardcaptorSakuraRoleplaying for some good clean fun! ^.^ Enjoy. -- miha
Disclaimer: CCS belongs to CLAMP; song lyrics from "Sonny" by New Found Glory
I heard about the bad news today
A crowd of people around you
Telling you it's okay
And everything happens for a reason.
Sakura sat at the table.
Staring ahead.
Her sleeves were stained with her tears. Was this the way it was supposed to be?
She couldn't possibly fathom what had happened. She stared at the cassette tape in front of her, almost afraid to touch it. Worse, afraid to listen to it. The cassette lay on top of the letter. The letter that brought her here. It was folded neatly into quarters, creased with painful precision. If only the situation was like how that letter was folded. Neat and precise. Feasible.
How could this be?
To somebody you know
It takes a lot to let go
Every breath that you remember
Pictures fade away, but memories last forever.
Another silent tear slid down her cheek and curled under her chin before it left her skin and dripped onto her lap.
She had received the letter during school, fourth period. She could remember seeing the guidance counselor standing at her classroom door; her guidance counselor's arm around her shoulders; the short speech before she handed Sakura the actual letter, the reason that she came for Sakura in the middle of class. After reading that lettershe barely remembered the rest. It was all just a blur of strangers guiding her way, wiping away her tears, trying to comfort her. But Sakura didn't know what to say. It was simplynot possible. She didn't even know how or where she was right nowbut that didn't matter. She never gave it a thought. She could only mentally read and re-read the letter in her mindit simply could not be possible.
She glanced from the tape and the letter and up to the cassette player, placed at the corner of the table. Fear gripped her heart. She knew that if she put that tape into that playershe might not be able to handle what came out of the metal mesh speakers.
She had to assure herself again and againjust to pick up the tape. She looked at it, at the slim blackish-brown tape inside. What did it containshe stared at it, as if it would give her an answer.
She gripped the tape in her left hand and slid the cassette player towards her with her right hand. She pressed the 'Eject' button and watched the cover swing open, inviting her. She looked intently at it, waiting as if it would tell her what to do. She couldn't think straight. Tears blurred her vision once again, as she took the tape in both hands and gently placed it in the player.
She pushed the cover back down, the light click of it latching close confirming her decision.
Her finger hovered over the 'Play' button as she ignored the salty tears that leaked out of her emerald eyes.
She pressed it.
The player began a low whir, slowly spinning the spokes inside. She listened to the empty seconds and kept staring at the player. It was almost as if she expected the sounds to come out and hang in the air, allowing her to digest it all, to absorb it all.
And she choked when she heard his voice begin.
"Sakura. If you're listening to this, then I guess the inevitable has happened. Please do not be saddened too much; it's bound to happen to everyone. I guess my time was just sooner than most."
Sakura's shoulders shook and her hand quickly shot out to the player and pressed 'Pause.'
She just couldn't bear listening to him; it was not as eerie as most might think, but it clenched at her heart and her lungs wouldn't heed her commands to breathe. But she remembered what he had just said: "Please do not be saddened too much." She wiped her eyes on her sleeve and pressed 'Play' once again.
"You have been there for me. I thank you for that.
Your presence in my lifeit has made me happy. I'm glad that
you are who you are. So please continue to be you and never change
yourself.
Please, do not depress yourself with me; it's not important. I
knew that my time was limited. I'm sorry to have kept it from
you and the rest. I just didn't want to make you sad or worry
you. I wanted to remember you as the way you always are: sweet,
cheerful. You are special.
I made thisso that you wouldn't have to worry yourself.
Seeing you see meseeing you saddened pains me. I'm sorry
that you have to be exposed to all this. But don't worry
I'll be fine. So please do not be troubled. I wish you a happy
and fulfilling life.
And one more thing. The only thing I regret not sharing with you.
I love you. Nowand forever. I will always love you."
Sakura's breathing stopped and she heard a soft click and the silent air that followed. Her eyes glistened as her brain processed all that she had just heard.
Then she crumpled over and held her head in her hands as she wept.
And I'll be seeing you
When all my days boil down
For now we'll say goodbye
We know it's not the last time
I've lost the best part of my day
But it's better where you're going anyway.
Dearest Sakura,
I know that you are a dear friend of my son, Syaoran. I regret to inform you of his passing away. He was involved in a car accident this past week, the reason for his absence from school. A drunk driver slammed into the car while he was being driven home. The doctors did all that they could, but they knew he wouldn't last. He didn't want me to tell you, but he did want to record this message for you. He did it in his last day alive.
Thank you for being a precious friend to my son.
Sincerely,
Li Yelan
A/N: There you go. I hope you enjoyed it. The whole cassette part was based on a nightmare I had last night - I dreamt that my crush (I hate using that wordI don't consider myself "in love" with him, I just have feelings for him.) had died and that he left a cassette that he told me that he loved me. That nightmare made me cry when I woke up in the morning. I thought that it might make a nice story for CCS. Anyways, hope you liked it. Reviews are warmly welcome. And if you were confused, sorry, sometimes when I just start writing off of an idea I had in my head, my writing can get jumbled. If you need clarification, feel free to ask me.--miha