Love hina: dead pool chronicles revamp

Ah yes, this is going to be a trial run. I'm revamping the whole first chapter of this thing and I'm going to see if you people like it or not. If you don't I don't give two craps and ill forget this and love hina even existed. Ill go back to doing my other fics and ill let this one disappear from the face of the earth. Why am I doing this? Because someone reviewed my message I left in the previous post i made told me not to give up. So I'm going to make a new chapter and I'm going to laugh if someone tells me its shit. Of course none of this crap is owned by me at all, if it were I would be suing all of you people for what you are worth and then I would laugh! Oh I would laugh…..here it goes. This time I'm going to put forth effort that you people probably haven't seen me put forth before.

"IM LATE!".

Urashima Keitaro burst out of bed as he realized that he was indeed late for the prep test to get into Tokyo U. He had failed this one test more than he could count, but this time he felt different about it. Grabbing the any clothing that laid near him, he threw those on and without thinking popped his head up through the hole that lead to his promise girl's room. Only then, after seeing her topless and braless was when he realized his mistake. Her eyes went down slowly towards the hole, her petite hand now curled up into a fist.

"NNNARU!! WAIT!!".

"PERVERT!".

Sending a kick at his head, her foot connected underneath his chin and lifted him high. Through the sealing he went, up towards the heavens and down towards a little park outside of town. At that moment, another unfortunate turn of events sent the manager of the Hinata into another human being. Skidding across the grass and coming to a stop just inches away from a tree, Keitaro recoverd quickly and got up, running to make sure the other person was alright. He stopped a few feet away from the dazed man, looking at what the man had strapped to him he stared in shock. Removing his glasses, Keitaro rubbed them clean with his shirt and put them back on before realizing that his eyes were not playing tricks at all. Guns, automatic sub-machine guns and handguns were strapped to him. Two swords, most likely katana's were strapped this man's back. Grenades, both explosive and flash bangs dangled loosely on him also. His suit reminded Keitaro of a ninja movie he once saw. Black and read, two holes in the mask so the man could see. After staring for what seemed hours, keitaro heard a voice speak to him.

"….what the hell was that?…..feels like a train ran over my spine".

Stepping back in shock, keitaro watched as the man got up. He was tall, taller than Motoko, even taller than seta. A questionable gaze appeared on the mans face as he glanced around, trying to get his sense of direction back.

"gotta be kidding me….last time I believe that asshole….telling me to do a sweep on foot……what a bag of sh-".

He stopped when his eyes fell on keitaro, his frown turned slowly upside-down . He then pointed a finger at the third year ronin and asked him some questions.

"sooooo…..where am I".

"Japan".

"great! That is fricken fantastic…….glad I picked up that Japanese language course at the YMCA when i was a cub scout in the marine core…..how the hell did you knock me down anyways".

Keitaro looked at him, his eyes got serious as he stepped forward and pointed where he flew from.

"a girl kicked me here…I live three miles that way".

"DAMN!!! Is she taking steroids or something!? She got the roid rage and kicked ya in the teeth right? I had a girlfriend like that…name was betty…….I called her butch".

A snicker came out of keitaro's mouth as he thought about calling naru butch, but that would get him kicked back to this remote park again. The man looked at him as Keitaro asked him a simple question, to which he responded quickly.

"so whats your name by the way?".

"I usually go by three names, bucky the backstabbing bastard, Kenny McCracken…but my friends call me deadpool. What do they call you around these parts?".

"I'm Keitaro Urashima".

"well kei-man, I'm getting the munchies for some cheezy's and beef jerky…..".

Keitaro motioned for him to follow, he finally had a friend that was like shirai or haitani. Bringing him out through the entrance of the park and onto the street, where they were both met with shock from pedestrians as the two walked down to a local corner store. The door ringed as the two stepped in, Keitaro walked over to a soda dispenser as deadpool walked over to another aisle. Grabbing beef jerky, cheese puffs, duct tape, canned squirt cheese, a package of stickers, a quart of motor oil and a package containing one light bulb, deadpool's shopping was done. But something stopped him…and that something was a tee-shirt. But this was no ordinary tee-shirt, oh no, this was a chuck Norris tee-shirt that had a picture of the man and letters that stated "chuck Norris owns your soul until you die and burn in the seventh layer of hell…even then he still owns it". Almost dropping all his supplies, Deadpool snagged that tee-shirt and threw it on the counter. The clerk went over his stuff as keitaro stood next to the merc, drinking a slurpie.

"that will be….fifteen ninety two".

Deadpool patted himself down in search of money, before grabbing one of his many flash bang grenades. He calmly set down the grenade and put his hands over his eyes, keitaro caught the hand signal and did the same. Deadpool pulled the pin and rolled the device off onto the floor where the clerk was standing. Deadpool then Squeezed his eyes tight, a loud bang that was immediately followed by a bright light erupted inside the store.

"what happened!!!".

"NO TIME TO EXSPLAIN KEI-MAN!! WE GOTTA ROLL!!!".

Grabbing his stuff and keitaro, Deadpool hawled ass out of the store, leaving a blind and hearing impaired clerk screaming in pain on the floor. Ducking into a alleyway nearby, Deadpool took off his weapons, put the chuck Norris shirt on, then finally put his weapons back into place. Taking the duct tape, the merc began to make duct tape gloves with both hands.

"I don't believe you did that!!!".

"did what?".

"use one of those exsplosive things! You could of hurt someone!".

"I only hurt the guy for a few seconds, its not like I broke every finger…..wait…man that was a good one. anyways i didnt hurt him physically...probably emotionally".

He sighed, why couldn't he get these awesome idea's like breaking someones fingers when he had the chance to do them. Opening the squirt cheese, Deadpool squirted it into his mouth while watching Keitaro pace like a cornered lion.

"calm down!!!….if you stay calm ill make you a duct tape wallet".

"I don't need one! You could of really hurt that guy!".

"whatever, your not cool enough for a duct tape wallet anyways….its only for the popular kids….like on Dawson's creek".

The merc stopped and sighed again while thinking about Dawson's creek, he missed that show so much. Finally finishing his tape gloves, which looked more like boxing gloves, Deadpool smiled at his accomplishment. Eating the beef jerky and cheese puffs in a few bites, Deadpool opened the light bulb package and threw it against the wall across from him, shattering it.

"why did you take that".

"do what?".

"break that lightbulb".

"kei-man, why is the world flat? why is the sun so god damn bright that it burns when you look at it for too long, why did Jesus have such kickass hair?….we may never know".

Looking down into the alleyway, keitaro knew that they were almost at the Hinata apartments.

"well its getting late, you wanna crash at my place?".

"sure! Do you have bumper cars?".

"no…".

"…..play doh?".

"….yeah I think we have that".

"sweet, I'm in…quick question though, does everyone in japan sing karaoke?".

"not really, It depends on the person".

"oh, yeah cause I've been hearing this damn van halen song play in my head for like ten years…..".

Keitaro stared at him, van halen was a band that keitaro loved to listen to for some reason.

"……maybe we can both do a van halen song".

"……….my god….that is the single most best idea ive ever heard….way better than going to the mall and head butting small children……….actually it almost beats head butting children, cause I loath children….I hate them so!!".

The two began walking up the steps of the Hinata apartments, this was the start to a good friendship.

So what do you freaks think? I think I did a alright job on it. Of course since im still pissed about a certain review I got on my last Deadpool fic don't expect me to update anytime soon. Have fun with this you crazy eyed bastards…….