I don't own Naruto, or Ranma ½, and so I don't think I should be penalized for what I think is hilarious. But in all seriousness I wish I owned the franchise.
Naruto was not looking forward to today. He had just gotten back from the best mission of his life, and now he had another one, one he could not hope in a million years to ever complete. He made sure to stay in his male form, avoiding his other half for now. As much as he had grown comfortable with it in the last month, right now he had no interest in seeing his other half. His current mission reminded him too much of some of the reasons he hated being stuck that way. "Stupid bloodline." He muttered.
His father had never had a bloodline, but his mother did. Her own grandfather had been given a curse, from something called Jusenkyo. The library had nothing on the place, if it even existed or anything else related to it. All he had was a short bit from an old bingo book about his great grandfather, who had apparently not realized that his curse would be passed down into his children. Unfortunately, the curse changed once it left his great grandfather. Now it would change based upon the chakra present in one's body, rather than requiring water. Even though that method still worked, you had to infuse chakra into water to complete the transformation, so it didn't offer anything really helpful to him.
Jusenkyo gave you a second body to work with, one that could be accessed at any time. Or at least any time you had enough of a buildup of chakra and were ready to change. Naruto just happened to change into a female when his bloodline activated. Apparently there was a point where you could gain enough control to not switch over to the other body, but that required very exact chakra control. For Naruto, he still had not really gotten very far in controlling his bloodline curse, namely because he had terrible control over his very large chakra. No thanks to being a jinchuuriki of course.
Sighing, he started walking back to the hokage tower. He really did not like the mission he was supposed to embark on. Jiriaya had written out a will, in the case of his death. Unfortunately Naruto could not rebuff it, or say anything against it. He had been there when the old pervert made the darn thing. In it, and Jiraiya shouldn't have written the thing drunk, the will specified that upon his death his hefty fortune would go to a number of economic ventures.
The first being the preservation of his precious icha icha, and the eventual completion of the movie. The movie was supposed to be based upon the most famous issue, the first, and would be actually tasteful. It was strange hearing the old man talk about a movie that was supposed to depict a porn series, yet the movie was not to show any such thing. Or at least that was what he claimed. Naruto doubted that very much. The old pervert sannin had gotten the script done and sent it off to his publisher before Naruto could read it, while they had been on their three-year journey. He really doubted that it was clean, since he had giggled the whole time he had been working on the script.
Yeah, the movie would hardly be clean, and every pervert in the five elemental nations would drink to the success of this venture. Jiraiya had been too well known in what he did, and Naruto did not have the stomach for it, especially since he had been recently spending quite a bit of time as someone that the old man would peep on every day of the week. Sighing, he did not want to think of his other half right now.
Jiraiya's will stated that his wealth, which had to be heavily taxed at his death, since he worked through the yakuza, would be divided a number a ways. Ten percent went to the contractors, the yakuza. Another twenty went to existing debts, and surprisingly the standing debt that Tsunade had. Another twenty went to Naruto himself, which would be given to him when he turned twenty. At the time he had written it he had joked about how it was supposed to be for any children he might have had in his travels, yet he was surprisingly infertile. His child support money (which he was surprisingly looking forward to spending on future children, though that might have only been for the effort to make said children) was never spent, so it went to his nearest kin, therefore Naruto. That was by no means a small sum. Apparently Jiraiya had been planning on a few dozen children scattered throughout the elemental countries, judging by the amount contained in the account.
Now that amount was his, though if he wanted to accept it, he would have to accept the other pieces of the will. The remaining fifty percent of the wealth of Jiraiya went to his already existing work, icha icha and its related corporations. It was enough to fund the movie that all perverts were so avid to see. The movie was provided for by paying already existing movie studios, and then some standing contracts to make sure that the movie's cast would be consisting of ninjas. Konoha was given the lead male and female roles, which was the main reason why Naruto was unhappy. He was originally only playing the male lead. Now he was supposed to play both of them. Both of them!
He groaned. Of course Jiraiya would haunt him from beyond the grave. He didn't even know about the stupid bloodline and the perverted sage was still giving him headaches, even though he was dead. Of course, if he had known about the bloodline he probably would have staved off his own death just to see his other half. Perverted old man.
Groaning again, he finally arrived at the Hokage tower, the location where he was to be tortured with this mission from his dead sensei. Climbing the steps, he tried to take as long as possible. Sure enough, he arrived at Shizune's office. It seemed to take less time then he wanted it to.
"Naruto!" She said excitedly. "Your early!"
Looking at the clock, he groaned. He was supposed to be late, not early. He had walked so slowly just to make sure he was late. How the heck had he been early? Groaning, he looked back at Shizune. "I suppose I can come to my own death early rather than later."
She laughed. "I think you deserve it after what Sai came in saying a couple weeks ago. Something about his undying love being declared upon the girl in his arms, and then he was trying to get Tsunade to marry the two of them." Shizune was laughing about this. "You realize that Tsunade uses Sai to do most of her paperwork here in the office, right?" Naruto paled. Tsunade had no one to do her paperwork. That meant that a busy, angry, and likely sober Tsunade was inside the office in front of him.
His fear rose, a full realization of the wrath to come arriving in his mind. With trembling fingers he opened the office door. He, the arguably strongest ninja in the village, was deathly afraid of this. Well, he certainly had a right to be in his own mind. There at the desk was Tsunade, barely seen over the normally small amount of paperwork. Unfortunately, a few weeks without Sai to do it for her had lead to large piles of work that would have even a few kage bunshin kept busy. He supposed that was why she used Sai, who had great skill with his ink jutsus, to do the paperwork for her. Now, without him, he could tell that the great trail of paperwork was already wearing on her patience. Glancing at the clock, he almost whimpered as he saw that it was only nine in the morning. His mission briefing was supposed to last until twelve.
"Gaki." Tsunade said in an emotionless voice, noticing him inside her office. "Glad to see that you are early. We have a lot to talk about." She motioned him to a side desk, which wasn't full of paperwork. It instead had three scrolls on it. The first she took up and handed to him, labeled mission pay. "Here is the pay for recovering Sasuke Uchiha, though it will be going to your alter ego, and not your actual identity. We don't know if there are any Sound ninja who saw your fight with him, and so we have to create your other identity." She motioned to the second scroll, which seemed to be mostly filled out but lacking in some details.
"So I cant tell Sakura that he is back? How is that fair!" He demanded.
"It's fair because we don't plan on changing him back, Naruto. He can't use chakra and as long as he doesn't know how to change back, we have complete control of him. In fact, I want to take you to a council meeting today where we will be discussing what is to become of Sasuke. He has spent the last two weeks in Anko Mitirashi's hands, and has been given seals to silence him should he ever feel the need to speak out. Other than that, he has been nearly impossible to extract information from, as he is immune to our mental jutsus. Morino Ibiki has been pulling his hair out trying to find a way past the mental defenses that Orochimaru layed down inside of his mind. From what we were able to find out there, we hope to fix Sai's mind." She rubbed the bridge of her nose.
"All of this is your fault, so we will be sharing your other half with the council. It is time they finally found out anyways. Later we will cover getting you the seat that your real family left you. Your father had a seat on the council, and your mother should have considering this bloodline you have, and so these shall pass to you." She grinned at him. She held up the last scroll. "Finally, here is the scroll detailing the mission you will be taking. You will report for this mission with a few other ninja that will be hired out." She glared at him. "Be nice. Not all of them are from Konoha."
"What? Why is that?" Naruto honestly thought that this movie would be done fully by ninja from here.
"Apparently he really likes blondes, and Ino Yamanaka refused to play any part that wasn't a lead actress. I of course refused on principle, and being Hokage means that I cant leave Konoha for the movie. So, he went to a number of different villages and hired them for different parts. I know that he hired from both Suna and Kiri, possibly even Kumo. Jiraiya was always talking about some girl from Kiri that he thought was near to perfection."
Naruto had heard plenty about the same girl. "Her name is Yuna Kushitara. Black haired, really dangerous, likes to seduce people." Jiraiya had preached about her a few times, though Naruto never really paid attention. "I wish she was the one in this stupid movie."
"Naruto, you realize that the only thing holding this movie back was a redheaded lead actress. Jiraiya would not tolerate anyone dying his or her hair for this, he apparently insisted on it. Now, I would have had to wait for this shy little genin we have to grow up and play this part, or I could have taken the shorter route and placed you in the role." Tsunade's no-nonsense look told him that it was an easy decision for her.
"Alright, tell me about the stupid movie." Naruto grumbled, trying to settle down in his chair. As soon as he did, he felt the energy inside of him take a curve. He knew that feeling. He knew it well. "Dang it, I don't want to be a girl right now!" Unstoppably, though, he started shifting.
He could feel it move through his body, his bone structure shrinking as his muscle relocated itself. His feet left the ground, his body losing height and weight as the change ran through him. His shoes fell, no longer holding his feet. His pants hung, his feet barely poking out the bottom. He could feel his hands become more petite, more dexterous, and annoyingly not so callused. His torso shifted, changing and becoming rounded. Then his stomach did a twist and he had to close his eyes as his organs switched their orientation on him. His least favorite part was when his face changed. He never felt any pain; his chakra shielded him from that. It just felt wrong when he could see and feel everything about his five senses change all at once. His cheeks pulled and his nose shrunk, and the top of his head itched as all the extra mass in his body rushed upwards. This extra mass exploded into red hair, flinging itself outward until it reached his waist. This whole process took just under a minute, and was difficult to predict when it would happen. His efforts in this matter lead to nowhere.
"Why don't you want to be a girl right now, Naruto?" Tsunade asked, a slight smile on her face. As the only med-nin to ever see the transformation, she must enjoy seeing him defy every law of physical existence on a regular basis. The notepad was a pretty good indication of this.
"Because," He said, using his girlish whining voice, "It makes all of this more logical and easier to deal with. I want to be angry, and I can't be as angry as a girl."
"What makes this situation something for you to be angry about, I thought you were supportive of all this." She was just grilling him now, Naruto realized.
"I don't like the fact that when I am a girl certain things make more sense. It's harder to live by my emotions." Naruto said with a sigh. "At least I can get this whole name thing over with. I chose a name for this body."
Tsunade pulled out the scroll that covered his identity. "Alright, let's hear it!"
"I want to be called Nasuri."(Nasu-ri, meaning fast tomato. After manga episode 500-502 this made a lot of sense to call his alter ego.) Naruto said calmly. "I don't know a last name I could go by. I didn't think that far ahead."
Tsunade snorted as she heard the name. "You are going to lead me to an early death, Naru…Nasuri." She snorted again. "You could have chosen a less literal name, you know. Lucky for you I already have a clan name all lined up for you. You will go by the name Senju, as an adopted daughter of mine. Shizune won't be aware of you, but the council will be. In fact you and I are going to the council meeting together today. I'm introducing you and then having you sit in my family seat on the council for important matters. Do you understand what I am saying, Nasuri?"
Naruto, or rather Nasuri, was trying to reboot his brain after that comment. Him? On the council? What kind of move is Tsunade trying to pull? Was this all a joke meant to catch him or get him back for the Sai thing, or was this as she said it was? Naruto decided to test this with a question. "Baa-chan, you can't honestly expect me to be on the council, this must be a joke! Plus, I don't even look like I'm old enough to be on the same table as those old geezers!"
Tsunade shrugged, finding his complaints not much of a defense. "You are old enough, plus I really only need you to help me get something through today at the council chambers. There is a vote today and I know that ill need some sort of miracle to get it through. That is where you come in. Plus, as my ANBU and ninja, you are well prepared to go undercover as whatever I want you to be."
Naruto groaned. "I suppose you have some plan to introduce me? I mean, come on, baa-chan, I don't even look like I could be a member of your family. I don't have what it takes to do this!" Naruto glared past his red hair at Tsunade. He didn't want to stand up and shout his complaints, since these pants had a bad habit of falling down on his much smaller body. Speaking of which, he just found another thing to complain about. "Ba-chan, I am never going to go on the council. I don't own anything that I could even wear to a council meeting with my girl side." Inside he could see victory. He could see the logical retreat Tsunade would pull, seeing that Naruto had no chance to follow through on her plan.
With one shadow clone technique, another Tsunade stood next to the original. "Gaki, I already planned for this. Go into the next room and change into that kimono on the chair. Get rid of everything else you have on, I already asked Hinata for what size you are." She grinned. "Then we can work on the rest of your look, and we will be right ontime for the council meeting in an hour. Now go!" Naruto grumbled and headed into the other room.
Sure enough, there was a green floral print kimono on the table inside her study room. Naruto groaned and tossed off his clothes, knowing that he couldn't fight Tsunade on something this well planned out. "This better be another A-rank, Baa-chan!" he yelled back through the door. Next came the troublesome part. Kimonos were complicated things, and Naruto noticed that Tsunade had included some bindings for his chest wrappings, or at least what seemed like enough. As he tried to wrap them around his girlish form, he noticed that they weren't long enough.
"I am not paying you for this, Naruto. You owe me for the things you have put me through in the last month." Tsunade replied to his comment.
"Ba-chan, these wrappings aren't enough for me! I need longer ones!"
"Gaki!" That is supposed to tie around your waist on top of the kimono, now hurry up before I get in there and do it for you!" Tsunade's warning gave good cause for him to hurry. The kimono was on, hopefully well enough, by the time that Tsunade came in with her shadow clone. Both were carrying bags of something feminine.
"Um, is this thing supposed to show this much of my chest and stuff?" Naruto didn't like how this kimono didn't cover everything. In fact, it left a lot of skin showing and Naruto hoped it was just tied wrong. "I keep on pulling it up but it just slides back down. And it always stays open even though I keep trying to pull it closed. Is it supposed to do that?"
Tsunade laughed as she started working on his face, her shadow clone grabbing his hair roughly and forcing it into place as well. "Yes, that is the style. Plus, I am also announcing the S-rank mission you will be on for the next six months, so it suits you. My plan was for you to get used to it, since you are going to be doing icha icha, but starting now seemed like a fine idea."
"Baa-chan," He whined, dragging out the last syllable as far as it would go. "You are making this a lot harder for me to accept the mission!"
"Stop complaining! You accepted it weeks ago!"
"What, when did I ever say that I would subject myself to this?"
Tsunade took a moment to glare darkly. "When you destroyed my favorite paperwork junkie, dropped a female Sasuke in my office, and had Hiashi Hyuuga bothering my every waking hour! You cant escape this one, Naruto, or should I say Nasuri." Tsunade finished her touching up and dispelled her clone. "Now put on your fox mask and come with me. We have a meeting to go to."
Sighing, Naruto stood up and followed, feeling like a puppet on Tsunade's strings. "Alright, fine." He put on the fox ANBU mask. "What exactly did you want to council to pass?"
Tsunade told him, grinning.
"Baa-chan, I would do that just because, you didn't have to put me through all that. I will make sure I can get that through." Naruto smiled behind the ANBU mask. "in fact, that is just brilliant. Both of those idiots wont know what hit them until it's too late!"
Side by side, they both travelled to the council meeting. Both had a smile on their faces, though by the end of the day more than a few people would be frowning.
Coming into the council chambers, Nasuri, he had to remind himself to call this form by that name, kept right behind Tsunade. Everyone in the council room seemed to notice the kimono, which Nasuri had fully realized was indecent. It kept on sliding on his shoulders as he walked, his female form not used to such things. At least he had the ANBU mask over his face to keep his identity concealed.
Tsunade walked confidently into the large circular room, all of the council heads sitting with an impatient look on their faces. She sat down in her chair, Nasuri slipping behind her and sitting near the back wall. Of course Hiashi noticed him. His look of confusion and then disgust did not make Nasuri/Naruto feel any better. It seemed that in both forms he shared an intense fear of that man. Not to mention he was sort of dating his daughter and that made things all kinds of awkward. Nasuri tried to reign in a groan when she noticed that the Senju seat was right next to the Hyuuga one. Nasuri would be right next to Hiashi if everything went according to plan. That in itself brought discomfort.
"Hokage-sama, we have been waiting for you to decide this very important matter!" One of the advisors said, blatantly stating what must have the rest of the council so impatient. "You have been avoiding this decision for the past week!"
Tsunade just shrugged it off. "I have been finding my adopted niece's birth certificate, which will give her the empty Senju seat at this council."
"What?" The same advisor said, very surprised. "This is absurd, the Senju clan is already known, you could not have found another member out of no where!"
"So I am not allowed to adopt someone? I certainly am past childbearing age, unless some of you are only concerned about my superficial appearance." Tsunade waited for anyone to challenge her age, which in this rare situation was a benefit. Of course no one dared to. "My niece, Nasuri, you all might know as my latest ANBU, fox, right here behind me. She has been trained in the ninja arts since a young age, and I just now have brought her back to Konoha." Tsunade and the whole council faced Nasuri, now. Tsunade made a invitational motion, and Nasuri stood up.
The annoying kimono was inviting a lot of attention away from Nasuri's face. Of course, Hiashi had a scowl on his face. He had realized where Nasuri would be sitting as well. "Remove your mask, Nasuri, so that this council can start it's deliberation." As ordered, Nasuri took of 'her' mask. Inside, he was freaking out. There was no way these people wouldn't see through this disguise. I mean, Hiashi had seen right through it, so these people shold have no trouble.
With an embarrassed smile on his face, he greeted the council. "Hi there." With a small wave(He couldn't trust this cursed kimono Tsunade made him wear) he looked over everyone. "I'm Nasuri Senju!" His whiny high pitched feminine voice echoed across the walls, only silence greeting him. The council were all stone cold glares, a universal wall of impatient displeasure.
The Hokage's advisors grumbled some form of communication between their frail faces, finally settling on their choice a couple minutes later. "Nasuri Senju will be seated in her family's seat. She is a recognized member of this council until her records will be scrutinized and studied. We will hold her under probation until such time as we choose to grant her full rights as a council member."
Nasuri simpered to 'her' seat. Stupid shoes. Stupid kimono. He could only simper like this. It was as if Tsunade was forcing him to get ready for this whole movie extravaganza. As soon as she was seated, the advisors got ready to speak up to Tsunade again, but she overruled them with a glare. "Nasuri, here, has quite the interesting story. She finally proved herself as a Senju earlier this month, when she and a combined team from Konoha captured Sasuke Uchiha and took him into custody. She herself was responsible for the takedown."
Nasuri grinned with a look of arrogance. The other members of the council were outraged. There were cries for blood from the Uchiha, as many people had lost family members to the new Sound village. Hiashi had his head buried in his hands, muttering something about his daughter sending him even earlier into his mid-life crisis. The man next to him seemed to be muttering about the possibility that Nasuri was Hiashi's daughter as well, just to round out the discussion. The council now started changing the subject of their glares to Tsunade.
"Hokage-hime, now that you are here, we need you to decide what we will do with the Uchiha, you have waited long enough!" Someone said, impatience boiling over.
"Rather than cave in to your stupidity, I have my own solution." Tsunade said bluntly, many of the council glaring as she openly spoke of their intentions. "My niece has a motion for the council, and as a new member she is allowed one free motion as a junior member. I do believe that she will be allowed this motion, which I hope will allay your fears."
The council definitely recognized the fact that Nasuri was a puppet. Still, the attention went to the Hokage's advisors, who were to decide if this would go through. Nasuki had gone over everything Tsunade had told him, ready to enact their plan.
"This is true, this is true," The Advisors muttered. After this, some more groaning and grunting occurred between the two old retired ninja, which of course was undecipherable. This continued for another few minutes, presumably the old geezers trying to find a way around the issue. Thankfully, it seemed as if they were not able to find one. Trying to see what kind of emotion they were displaying was rather difficult, as the many ancient folds of skin disguised it. Nasuri just thought that they were ugly, old paperweights. He hadn't seen either of them use a jutsu in his lifetime, even during the Sound invasion. "We allow this motion. Senju-san," The honorific was stressed, probably to remind him about the probationary state he was in, "You may propose your motion, if only to get past this stalemate."
Nasuri, or rather Naruto, was smiling now. He knew from experience that the council was shifting their glares to him. Without any waiting, as the impatience was palpable now, he stood and straightened to address the council.
"I hereby make a motion to have Sasuke Uchiha placed under the watch of a ninja, one that will be able to keep a constant watch over him for the rest of his life, or rather hers." The council were all paying attention, now, and the heads of families were all focused upon him. Stupid kimono, some of their eyes never rose above his collarbone. "I used a kinjutsu that leaves its target permanently in the state I choose to leave them in, as I was left with no other choice. Knowing he was an Uchiha and knowing the fact that Konoha seeks to have the return of his bloodline, I transformed his gender. As far as I know of, there is no way for him to escape from this jutsu. After his treatment from the Hyuuga, his ability to use chakra has been returned to the state that it was when he was a child. It will return, eventually. From what I have learned from Lord Hiashi, it is different for each person. The motion I am making is to have a ninja permanently assigned to Sasuke Uchiha, to watch him and make sure he is never able to become a ninja who can threaten Konoha again."
Many hands were raised by the council members. Shikaku Nara, usually asleep in these meetings, was awake and paying attention. "What was this kinjutsu, and why have we not been notified of it being placed I the sealed scroll of the hokage?" Aburame Shibi asked, his logical thinking coming forward.
"You won't find it." Naruto/Nasuri said. "I created it myself, and I don't plan on using it again if I can help it." He lied, hoping against hope that Tsunade would help him here. By the look on her face, it may have been that she might be believing him and wanting to know as well. Crap. That meant that she wouldn't support him on this either. On the other hand, he had never truly debriefed her on what he did. So, he had just dug himself into a hole. "My motion, though, is to have Sasuke Uchiha placed under an assumed name and placed into an arranged marriage. Under such a cover, as a civilian wife, 'she' will be protected and kept secret. This also means that we must place 'her' with a ninja that could outwit her and keep track of her." Nasuri finished.
The council were torn. Each had their own ambitions to play out. They all could, it was only a matter of who would be able to benefit the most from this motion. Shikaku Nara was the first to stand up. "I assume you are leaving the choice of shinobi up to the council?"
Nasuri nodded as she had been told to: like a giddy little girl with a crush. "Yup!" She chirped. "I assume also that you all will let this pass?" She asked, grinning. For most of the council this was a great chance to fulfill their goals, but the difficulty in reaching them also existed.
"I second this motion." Hiashi said, focusing on the debate more than the fact that the thing that was supposed to be with his daughter and making a more wholesome relationship(which he wholeheartedly disapproved of on the outside!) and improving his chances of avoiding a mid life crisis. His victory fan awaited, a weapon that few, even the council, had the right to question. "I see a great opportunity to keep the Sharingan inside of Konoha. If we can force Sasuke to have children, of course."
Inoichi Yamanaka also spoke up. "We would have to wed this Uchiha to one of the clans, then. Someone who will be able to bring up the bloodline in secret."
Aburame Shibi continued. "Which of course only leaves clans with male heirs that are genius level ninja, and familiar with the Uchiha. The clan would also have to be secretive or have some kind of cover, not to mention have physical traits that could disguise the sharingan, hopefully long enough for another generation to reach adulthood."
"That only leaves four ninja in Konoha." Shikaku Nara said, his fingers entwined in thought. Instead of his usual laziness, he was bright eyed and alert, finding this something worthy of his attention. "Only four are capable enough to stop the Uchiha at full power. Aburame Shino, Shikamaru, my son, Hyuuga Neji, and finally Uzumaki Naruto." He finished, looking around the table.
Hiashi and Nasuri both groaned. Those were not safe choices for them. No, not one bit. Both gave a glance at the other and nodded. Hiashi stood up, straightening his clothing as he did so. For some reason one of his hands rested on the victory fan at his belt. Added comfort, the old man kept telling himself. "I must object. Previous attempts to create a cross breed between the Hyuuga and the Uchiha have always ended badly. I also object to Naruto, as such an action would only lead to unrest among the Hyuuga. Perhaps someone else, then."
"Unrest among the Hyuuga?" Inoichi said carefully. "Whatever is this unrest you mention among the calmest clan in Konoha?"
Hiashi grumbled. They were forcing his hand. "My daughter and heir is currently in a relationship with the young man, as much as I oppose it." (openly, of course) He cleared his throat. "She would react unfavorably to such an action, and the consequences of such an act will not be small. Feuds may occur." There was no way that Hiashi would openly acknowledge Naruto as someone he preferred for his daughter. Inoichi wouldn't get him there.
Nasuri stood up. He hated to do this to himself, of all people, but he had to for Hinata's sake. "I second that. When I fought with Naruto to help bring Sasuke down, I saw the way he fought and I wasn't impressed. He may have more chakra than the ocean has water, but I found nothing there that would support a genius mind necessary to counter the Uchiha. I recommend one of the other choices." Inside, Nasuri was pissed. 'She' just had to completely make a fool of her male half. At least it would be a good cover to keep this form separated from her male form.
The grumbling among the other council members moved to the remaining two choices. As this happened, Hiashi fanned himself with a suspiciously colored small fan, and Nasuri just tried to calm down. As well as curse at Tsunade for giving him a kimono that made it hard to move around in without bringing attention on himself. Tsunade herself spoke up. "As much as I would love to see Shino bring his analytical mind into this, he has the highest paying mission of the year to perform. He was handpicked for this mission years ago, and will be fully invested for the next year or so."
"What kind of mission is this? We are not aware of it!" Her advisors spoke out angrily. They were being ignored worse than usual today, and their tone echoed this.
"That will be discussed after this motion finishes," Tsunade said coolly. "I have over thirty S-ranked missions that Konoha will be taking in the coming months. These will be the next topic of discussion."
The council salivated at the thought. Thirty S rank missions were enough pay to cover the village finances for five years. They all began to consider what that kind of payment would bring to the village, and the smiles around the table were definitely predatory. To finish the motion, everyone glared at Shikaku. He of course seemed to be going through his mind, looking for any way to save his son from this fate. It appeared that he either found none, or had no hope for his son to actually get married himself, and found this solution to be adequate. "Then we will have the Uchiha marry into the Nara. What name will she go by, so we can begin forging the paperwork?"
"Suki Yukihara will be her name, as it is very popular at the capital with the illegitimate children born from our countries nobility. That will leave a large enough paper trail, and no noble born will want to publicly acknowledge that he has had such a child. I am sure that all of you would act the same way, eh?" One of the more relaxed clan leaders said. "Unless some of you want to bring up any of those children right now that you are responsible for and prove me wrong, I think it is an effective strategy." There was some laughter, and the man next to Hiashi appeared to be comparing Nasuri and Hiashi to see if such a connection existed.
"So, Suki Nara will be the cover name. She can yell and fight with Shikamaru and he can just use the same cover as any other Nara man does inside his household." Shikaku said. Everyone seemed to be interested in this tactic. "We wear body armor as we know that our wives will attempt us bodily harm. Any fighting that occurs is considered normal." He cleared his throat and sat down, ignoring the fact that a family secret was now out and in the open. However, it was a brilliant cover. Suki Nara would find no hope of escape there. Not only that, but she could act as difficult as Sasuke usually was, and no one would know any better.
Tsunade grinned. "Begin the preparations for the wedding. Send Shikamaru to my office after this meeting. Do we consider this motion finished?" The united wall of nodding heads of council members and aging flesh somewhat moving seemed to be an answer enough. Nasuri settled into her seat, drained and wanting little more to do with this meeting. "Alright, now we discuss all thirty of these S ranked missions. Firstly, know that every single one of them is for a part in the movie that Jiraiya planned before his death. The movie remained in planning stages until the main character's chosen actors became old enough to play their parts. Senju Nasuri here is the female lead, and Uzumaki Naruto is the male lead." Tsunade grinned as some of the council scrunched up their faces in disgust. Jiraiya was not exactly discrete about the subject of his work.
"What if this council wishes to not have our ninja's name be defiled by this?" One of the older clans asked. "I for one do not believe that our top ninja and a probationary council member should be attached to such a work."
Tsunade shrugged. "We have no choice. Jiraiya made you promise to fulfill any mission he specifically payed for as repayment for him supplying you with information over the years. In effect, he is calling in his favor from the grave. You might be more interested in some of the other people involved in this movie. He payed for quite a list. From Konoha, all female ANBU with blond hair and brunette hair, but no one with black hair, in between the ages of eighteen and twenty five, and they must fall into certain categories as described by Jiraiya." She sighed. "ANBU squad ten will be sent, all four of them to be placed on this effort as extras and security forces. Kakashi and Gai will be sent, along with their summons, as camera crew."
"How many of our ninja are to be involved in all of this?" Aburame Shibi asked.
"Strange that you should ask." Tsunade replied, which confused some of the council. "Your son was handpicked to be the director of this movie, as Jiraiya described him as a genius of innuendo."
The Aburame clan head sank into his seat, eyebrows showing puzzlement, and Nasuri could almost hear his bug colonies buzzing in discontent, or rather confusion. Hiashi stood up. "Am I to assume that all of this has a time limit attached to it?"
Tsunade answered him by grinning. "You are the one Jiraiya asked to be given the job of producer, which leaves all time limits up to you." Hiashi was shut down as soon as she said that. Pale faced, he slipped back into his seat. "Since you were in his genin team, Jiraiya chose you because he knew he could count on you to 'carry on his work'." Tsunade smiled at the broken state of the Hyuuga clan head. Hiashi was muttering something about him leaving the genin team because of the dubious nature of his 'research'. Tsunade continued. "Hinata Hyuuga, Sakura Haruno, and Tenten are also actresses in this film, functioning as well as a mobile surgery unit. For some reason Jiraiya insisted on having a full medic unit attached to the movie crew. There are no civilians in this movie, and for whatever reason not all of the crew will be from our village."
Some of the council seemed angry at this announcement. "Yuna Kushitara of the Mist village will be hired, as well as the Goroki brothers from Kumo." Tsunade sighed as the other members of the council were outraged. "Subaku no Temari is also being sent, as is her brother Kankuro. He will be on the filming crew, as his puppets are perfect for mounting cameras into. It will be an equal amount of rivals and allies." She sighed as she had to wait for the council to quiet down again. "More coming from our village, we will have Anko Mitirashi and her kunoichi team of genin as the costuming crew. Kiba Inuzuka and Neji Hyuuga will be hired on as actors as well, and the remaining S rank missions are to the ninja who are to take the footage and turn it into film." Naruto shuddered. The crazy snake lady was in charge of costuming? From what Jiraiya had mentioned, this was going to be a flashy movie. If the crazy snake lady was in charge of costuming, he was doomed.
Hiashi rubbed the bridge of his nose. "We need to see the script of this movie, Tsunade, before we can accept any of this. For my sake alone I need to see it, as my daughter and nephew are most certainly involved."
Tsunade held up her hands. "Jiraiya only left his notebook on the subject, which is in the hands of Shino. He is writing the script as we speak. I gave him his mission this morning, which was kept in a sealed scroll that Jiraiya wrote specifically to him. I have no idea what kind of evils are contained in that scroll, only that Shino was the man destined to open it." The council grumbled, but the promised favor to Jiraiya was not far from their thoughts. Neither was the thirty S rank mission payments. The village received a large chunk of that money, as did the ninja.
"What of Umino Iruka?" Another council member brought up when he saw that there was no way of stopping these missions from occurring. "He has begun a problematic tradition of desecrating the hokage monument!" Indeed, Iruka had begun the practice of writing messages the whole village could see. Fortunately the girl said yes to his gigantic paint plastered proposal, and Iruka was still on his blissful honeymoon, and safe from consequences. Hopefully that tactic would last long enough for him to escape from any punishment, but in the meantime people were abusing the same tactic, writing messages and making trouble.
"Iruka should be spared. These other vandals are to be caught and apprehended, as per the usual course of action. This is just a fad, and will go away in time." Shikaku Nara said, most likely just trying to get out of some effort.
"Perhaps we should look to another source." Inoichi Yamanaka said. "Iruka only learned this from a student of his, who is more likely the source of this fad. The genin team under Ebisu has also been carrying on the tradition, which has forced me to look more deeply into the matter. I am sure that this council remembers the morning nearly six years ago when the genin graduated, correct?" Nasuri wanted to bury herself into the seat. 'She' knew exactly who they were referencing. Having insulted her own male half earlier, it would be very bad if she tried to save this conversation from taking any further dangerous turns. She looked at Tsunade, giving the highly perfected girlish facial expression that she had learned from Hinata. It was one where the eyes were pleading, the lips slightly upturned, and absolutely dangerous for any male shop vendor. Tsunade didn't even bat an eyelash at the display. However she did stop the conversation. "Naruto Uzumaki, the source of this problem, should be the one assigned to deal with it!" Inoichi finished, who had continued speaking as Nasuri was thinking.
"I think I know the perfect punishment for him." Tsunade said. "While he can speak to those involved so far, it wont truly stop all of the offenders. No, for this offence I will place Naruto directly in charge of keeping Yuna Kushitara out of trouble and under close watch during the filming of the movie. Tenten and the rest of the medical team will watch the Goroki brothers. From what I have heard of the girl, she is troublesome enough that it will keep Naruto very busy." Tsunade gave a look at Nasuri that made her, or rather him in this situation, very uncomfortable. Naruto had no idea what the girl was like outside of Jiraiya's stories. But if they were at all true, he was going to be dealing with more trouble than he was worth.
"This might be the vehicle I need to free my daughter from her current relationship." Hiashi said coolly. Inside, the man was extremely worried. The best he had heard of the A-level kunoichi from Kiri was enough to make him desperately worry about his daughter's chances of holding Naruto's attention. The blatant lie he had just stated would be hard to recover from, but Hiashi had his own cover to keep. "Though perhaps certain precautions can be made to guarantee the safety of our jinchuuriki. As much as it pains me to admit, perhaps a kunoichi should be assigned to Naruto's tent to protect him." Hiashi said, hopefully now the council would be bullheaded enough to suggest his daughter, leading to an argument that he planned to fail spectacularly.
Nasuri wasn't doing much better than Hiashi. If she, or rather he, was going to save his relationship he had to move now. "It sounds like your daughter might disapprove of someone other than herself fulfilling this assignment, if what you said earlier about unrest among your clan would be true." Nasuri made a movement of wiping her hands on the annoying kimono. "I certainly have no intention of sharing his tent. Getting in between Hinata and Naruto is certainly more dangerous than dealing with the Uchiha." Nasuri was smiling within herself. Not only had she, or rather he, protected his relationship, but he had also somewhat proven that his identity crisis wasn't challenged. It would be seriously awkward to be assigned on a mission to have his female side protect his male side from some crazy kunoichi.
"Tenten and Sakura will be keeping track of the brothers from Kumo, and I do not think anyone would prefer to have Anko Mitirashi watch him." Inoichi mentioned, letting his last statement hang in the air.
"If that women is assigned to that mission who knows what might happen!" One of the lesser clan leaders said. "Even I do not wish that upon Naruto!"
"You would need to assign Hinata just to protect him from Anko, much less from Yuna." Shikaku said. "Hiashi, as much as you dissaprove of this, it might just be the safest way to protect our ninja."
"Is this not a disgrace to the Hyuuga clan?" Hiashi said, knowing already that this would be a loss.
Most of the council agreed with Shikaku, as Hiashi predicted. With a steady grip on his victory fan, he let himself sputter hardly effective comments until Tsunade stepped in. "We will just assign it as an additional B rank mission. That should satisfy all parties." She said, giving no room for Hiashi to sputter any further defense. He could have waved his fan around like a maniac just then. Perhaps a little later, he would, but right now he had just secured yet another opportunity for his daughter to finally get somewhere with Naruto. Naruto himself, or rather Nasuri, thought this was starting to be less of a boring meeting and a lot more interesting and profitable. Politics were rather fun, he decided. If it helped protect his relationship with Hinata it was all worth it.
"Can we move onto the next motion?" One of the lesser clan leaders said. "We still need to discuss the issue of grain imports that came in last week." Naruto decided that politics once again sucked. How much longer was this going to be?
Four hours. Naruto had barely made it out before he had to change back. The kimono still fit him Hinin his male form, which only served to aggravate him more. Rushing up to Tsunade's office, he slipped inside the side room as she tried to finish the new paperwork that the meeting had just produced. He was just putting on his things when he heard the door of Tsunade's office open.
"Eh?" Tsunade said, peeking around her paperwork. "Oh, Shikamaru, glad to see you are here. I have a very important mission for you."
"Crap. No cloud watching for a while, then. Who is my team and where are we going?" Shikamaru said, and Naruto could hear the disappointment in his voice. The sound of the young man dropping into his seat was rather loud, and Naruto hoped he wouldn't fall asleep there. Naruto was looking forward to seeing how the Nara would react to this.
"This is a solo mission. You will be working on this mission in addition to all other mission for a while. It will last until either you are dead or the target is dead." Tsunade said, disguising the mission for now.
You could feel Shikamaru rise up to pay more attention now. "So I have a solo assassination then, correct?"
"No." She responded. "You are going to hopefully last longer, and I think that you are more of a bodyguard to this person than an assassin. By death I meant by old age."
"If you don't mind me asking, Hokage-sama, what kind of mission is this?" Shikamaru said. "I have never heard of mission parameters that last a lifetime, with what seems to be no perceptible goal in mind."
Tsunade avoided the question again. This time Naruto could hear her almost giggle as she spoke. "Congratulations, Nara-san. You are getting married to the love of your life in three days! Come in tomorrow and you can meet her."
Naruto had his ear up against the door. He could hear nothing from the Nara. Listening, he finally heard Shikamaru say something almost a minute later. "Nani? What the he-"
"You will be married in three days to a lovely girl from the capitol, who happens to have a very special bloodline. More importantly she is an illegitimate child and we have to keep tabs on her. Now," Naruto heard the telltale rustle of cloth that he knew so well as Tsunade picked up Shikamaru and threw him out the window. "Come back tomorrow!"
Tsunade just laughed, something that most ninja in the village felt a great fear in hearing. It meant that something had happened and someone just got hurt. Fortunately Shikamaru used an ANBU as a target for his Kagemane no jutsu, and stopped himself from a painful fall onto the pavement. The ANBU was not so amused, having taken all of the momentum from Shikamaru's fall. Naruto came out of the side room and smiled at Tsunade.
"Baa-chan you certainly know how to mess with someone. Do you think he will even come back tomorrow?" Naruto said.
Tsunade grinned back. "Curiosity will be enough. By the way, great job in the council room. I didn't even ask you how you got Sasuke but now I am very interested in the kinjutsu you refused to talk about. Ill have you know that Sasuke doesn't even know what you did, as he had passed out and woke up assuming you had done something to him while he was unconcious." Tsunade looked at him with a great desire to know, and so Naruto decided it was in his best interest to tell her.
"Well, my bloodline can be copied, Baa-chan." She whipped out her notebook on his bloodline immediately. "Ranma's scroll said that it can be copied through my blood if someone knows what they are doing, and I assumed that Sasuke's Sharingan would be able to do the same thing. I was right. Fortunately, for people who have the bloodline, when you transform you have to build up some chakra as a shield so you don't feel what your body goes through. When I showed Sasuke I didn't put up my shield, and he copied me. That meant that he could feel everything. Even I pass out when that happens, Baa-chan. He probably has no idea how that happened. But I cant tell anybody about it without telling them about my secret, so I just said it was a kinjutsu."
Tsunade was writing, catching up on all he just said. After he was done she nodded, smiled, and laughed again. "Well we finally found a use for the Sharingan then, eh?" She leaned back in her chair. "I don't have any need for you right now, Naruto, as you are. If you transform, though, I have some dignitaries that I need you to-" Naruto was out the window and gone before she could say anything else. He knew better than to stay.
He did not look when he jumpd, however. Coming down, he noticed that the earlier throwing of Shikamaru had removed his usual catch point. Now he had no choice but to just drop onto the street. As he came down, he noticed a couple of people in formal robes walking along underneath him. Unfortunately he was going to come down right on top of them. He hit hard, causing both of the robed figures to try to dodge. He rolled, taking care of his momentum, and he came to a stop on top of someone he knew very well. Hinata looked surprised but very embarrassed to have him arrive like this. She smiled, making him feel weird and stirring up his insides, and then turned a darker shade of red.
"Naruto-kun, you should probably run for it." She whispered in his ear. Behind him, he could hear someone clear their throat. Naruto shuddered, hoping it was just Neji. To his dismay he say a Byukagan-activated Hiashi Hyuuga.
"Uzumaki! I do not approve!" The angry clan patriarch roared. With that Naruto had plenty of incentive to run as fast and as far as he could. Hiashi only had to touch him once though. He avoided the gentle fist strikes easily enough, having sparred with Neji and Hinata, but the finishing blow that got him was from the overly large victory fan. Hiashi somehow channeled Doton into the fan, and rocked him hard enough to send him into the woman's bathhouses. That did not go well. Ino and Anko MItirashi were there, and by the look on their faces Naruto had just gone to a very dark dark place.
Outside the bathhouse, Hiashi stopped. Now, it was not so well known, but Hiashi had been a genius himself as a genin. That didn't just go away. Having Jiraiya as your sensei made his perversion senses rather well developed. So as he chased Naruto he saw the perfect opportunity. The boy dodged just like his father. His favorite move to pull on Minato had been to kick him over the fence and into the bathhouse. This seemed to work wonders with Naruto. Then he took stock of who was in the bathhouse. He saw the entire kunoichi team under Anko Mitirashi, which meant that their sensei was also present. With a groan he also saw most of the kunoichi from the interrogation department. That was a little much for poor Naruto, but hopefully it would teach him the lesson Hiashi was striving for him to learn.
Now, as Hiashi had his dignity to uphold, it would not be proper for him to have his Byukagan activated within a quarter mile of the bathhouse. Not that he was a pervert, but he had to maintain some standards. Unfortunately what was supposed to be a small lesson in treating your girlfriend better had turned into something worse. He heard someone, probably Ino Yamanaka, summon a torture chamber inside the bathhouse. Groaning, he realized that he might have just killed his chances at retirement. That simply would not do. Turning, he saw Hinata had arrived, after using a simple Doton jutsu to clean her robes of most of the dirt resulting in Naruto landing on her. "Daughter, you may want to save him from his fate. I appear to have struck a little too well. Though let this be a warning that he should never treat you as a doormat ever again." With this he made a smooth motion of exiting the scene, leaving his daughter with the task of saving her boyfriend.
With a small amount of glee he stepped into an alleyway and gave his victory fan a wave. Retirement was even closer if Naruto had the indecency to pounce on Hinata like that. It was hardly respectable, but the fact that his daughter had neither fainted nor complained was a sign of hope. In fact, she had not even worried about it, save for the fact that her father had been angry. Byukagan still active, he watched as Hinata arrived inside the bathhouse.
Naruto on the other hand, was already bleeding from a couple places, and had a blindfold on over his eyes. Anko had stabbed him with a kunai, already knowing about his healing factor from the Kyuubi. Ino had threatened to pull out some of his teeth, at which he just whimpered. He didn't fight back at all. IF there was one thing he learned from Ero-Sennin, it was that if you fought it only convinced the women who caught you that you are in fact the pervert she says you are. So he didn't fight, waiting and hoping for the chance to simply runaway. That wouldn't be easy, as Anko had a giant snake holding him down. It was told to eat him if he moved. Anko didn't really seem all that joking when she said it. So, he waited. He could hear the debate regarding his punishment nearby. Then, the debate took a sudden turn.
"Oh, are you here to pick up your pervert?" Anko asked someone playfully. Naruto almost broke and ran right then, hoping that it was not Tsunade who had arrived. If so, he was doomed. Whoever the new arrival was, they simply nodded. "Alright then, here he is. Just don't let him look at us anymore." Naruto could feel himself being released, and he prepared to make a blind run for it. Then he heard the voice of the new arrival.
"My father launched him in here. It was not his fault." Naruto breathed a great sigh of relief. It was his girlfriend, possibly the best thing he could ask for at this moment.
"He still acted like a typical male caught in the bathhouse, Hinata. Face it, your boytoy is a pervert." Naruto heard Ino say. Hinata replied easily.
"He was trained by someone known to be a pervert," Hinata said, getting a little shaky. Now she stuttered. "I W-would be d-disappointed if he wasn't at least a little p-p-perv-" The rest descended into muttering that Naruto could hardly identify. Naruto truly did not know if she was lying or not there. If that was true, would she be happy or unhappy to know about his collection of Icha Icha books?
Anko interrupted his thoughts with a hearty laugh. "Oh! The rumors are true! The Hyuuga really are echi! Take him and go, just make sure he only peeks at you." Naruto could feel the snake withdraw, and he was free except for the blindfold. He knew better than to remove it. He heard Hinata come up to him. "N-n-naruto, can you please henge into something I can carry?" She must have been very embarrassed by Anko, judging by how much she was shaking. Naruto of course nodded and used a nice henge no jutsu to allow them to escape undetected. He only hoped that things would improve later.