-1This is after the sneak peek. Hello! This is my first fanfic so I thought I'd ease my way into it be doing a one-shot. The funny thing is I usually hate one-shots cuz I want them to continue. Haha. What can I do!? The song is "Say Goodbye" by Brook Allison. Thank you.
Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star or Jude and Tommy(sadly)
Focus Jude. I need to focus. I've been trying to write a new song but nothing came to mind. Well, no lyrics anyway. All I could do was think of the change of events over the past couple weeks. My hand moved absent-mindedly across the page while I was daydreaming. I looked down at the notebook Tommy gave me and couldn't help the growing smile on my face. Little hearts with TOMMY+JUDE decorated the page. It has only been three weeks, but these have been the most amazing few weeks of my life. Me and Tommy were just like we always were, yet it was so different. The hand holding, the sweet kisses, the cuddling. Everything I ever dreamed and so much more. We always shared looks before, but now he stares were filled with such adoration I feel like my heart will burst with happiness. I pulled a picture out of my pocket and smiled remembering the night I took it.
We were lying on the couch in Studio A listening to my latest take. It was well past midnight and we were the only ones left. My eyes were closed with my head on his chest and his hands running through my hair. "You did good, girl." "Thanks to you." I replied snuggling closer wrapping my arm around him. "No, you can do anything, Jude." I moved my head up and opened my eyes only to have them lock directly on his. "Only if you're with me." His hand moved to my face slowly caressing my cheek as he leaned in and kissed me so softly. I placed my hand over his locking it against my skin. I wish I could bottle this moment up and save it forever. An idea came to mind as I sat up, pulled out my phone and opened it. "what are you doing?" He said while peering over my shoulder. "You'll see in a second, Mr. Impatient!" "Oh really!" He gabbed me and started tickling me. "ahh S-S-STOP!!" "You gonna tell me what your doing now?" "No, but I can show you." I sat on his lap and pressed my cheek against his. "SMILE!" I took a picture with my phone. Once I was satisfied I sent it to my email. I printed it out that night and carried it around everywhere I went.
I got it! After four hours of nothing all I did was envision Tommy's smile. The one he saves just for me; and the words came pouring out if me. For that reason alone I think it's one of the best songs I've ever written. I felt such a strong need at that moment. Whether it was to show Tommy my song or to just see him and that smile, I don't think I'll ever know.
I sprung from my seat and ran into Studio A where I knew he would be. As I ripped open the door and witnessed the scene in front of me, all the air in my lungs rushed out and my heart ceased to beat. I think I even heard it crack as my eyes landed on Tommy. But he wasn't alone. Karma was hanging on to him for dear life as their lips continued to ravage one another. I opened my mouth to say something but as always in those imperative moments in your life, nothing came out. My vision blurred; it wasn't till I tasted salt that I realized I was crying. I must have subconsciously made a noise because all of a sudden all eyes were on me.
Tommy's face paled as the reality of the situation dawned on him. Karma at first appeared stoic , but upon a second glance I notice a trace of amusement in her face. I did what any other heartbroken girl in that situation would do. I bolted. Dimly Tommy's voice calling my name was heard behind me but I kept going. Every touch, every kiss sped through my mind as I ran away from the only man I've ever loved.
I ran with no destination in my mind.
You are asking the wrong guy!
The more tired I became, the faster I ran.
We did it! Come here!
My lungs craved oxygen as my step wavered but my heart refused to let my body surrender.
There's my look
The door stood in front of me as the fixed handle mocked me. If only everything in life could be fixed so easily. I took slow tentative steps into the room crossing the threshold warping me back to a time when things were innocent, simple, blooming. Everything was exactly the same as it was that fateful night. sitting on the red couch I bust into tears remembering my 17th Birthday when I rested against Tommy. I could still feel his hands running through my hair. I grabbed a pen and paper left from writing Liar, Liar. My hand couldn't move fast enough as my emotions were splayed across the page. A tune entered my head as I walked to the piano. So many memories bombarded me I had to shake my head to clear my thoughts. I began playing realizing the truth behind the lyrics.
Once in every life
Someone steals your heart
And you are forever changed
Even when you must part
You find it hard to leave
The feelings aren't gone
But a voice inside is telling you
You can't hold on
So say Goodbye
Oh I can't say that I won't cry
Cause I'm so glad
For everything we had
The good and bad
Say Goodbye
Just look at me
You'll know that I… still love you so
Even though we have to say goodbye
No matter where you are
Wherever that may be
I will always have you here
Deep in the heart of me
And if I never see that warm and tender smile again
We will always have the memories….remember when
So say Goodbye
Oh I can't say that I won't cry
Cause I'm so glad
For everything we had
The good and bad
Say Goodbye
Just look at me
You'll know that I… still love you so
Even though we have to say goodbye
You've got your life and you know I've got mine
But we will always be
Forever intertwined
Our hearts know that
It would be wrong to stay
So before
You turn and walk away
So say Goodbye
Oh I can't say that I won't cry
Cause I'm so glad
For everything we had
The good and bad
Say Goodbye
Just look at me
You'll know that I… still love you so
Even though we have to say goodbye
You'll know that I have one last wish
One last kiss
Before we say goodbye
The sad thing that I realized while, writing the song is that I still love him. I will always love him no matter what he does. That's why I need to walk away. Leave before I give him so much of me, I'll have nothing left.
Believe me, in me, again. "I did believe in you again Tommy. And you broke my heart again." My whispers echoed through the Chrome Cat. I buried my head in my arms as I laid on my stomach and cried. I cried so much I thought there was no more liquid in my body. I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I felt was a familiar hand running through my hair. I relished in the moment not realizing it could be the last one we ever have. Suddenly the nights events rushed into my head as I fled the couch trying to create as much distance between me and him as the emotional tie between us would allow.
"Jude I-"
"No. You don't get to talk your way out of this. You don't get to play the charmer card and erase what you did. Because you can't Tommy. There is nothing you can say that can make that image disappear. My God Tommy, you couldn't even last a MONTH!"
"I love you" He declared almost desperately as a glimmer of hope was written on his face. His eyes became glassy as his face fell when my body became impassive.
"If I believed you I would be an even bigger fool than…well…you." A smirk played across my face as the hurt set in his eyes. Is it sick that I'm getting pleasure from his pain? Nah!
"Jude look I know I have no right to ask you, but I'm going to anyway. Please, please forgive me. I honestly and truly do love you." Tommy then did something I never thought I'd see him do. He dropped to his knees and wrapped his arms around my waist. I heard a sob escape his throat as I ran my hands through his hair.
I bent down till my lips were next to his ear. Speaking only loud enough for him to hear me. "I wished that where enough." I kissed his cheek and took his arms from my waist and started walking towards the door.
He leapt from the ground and grabbed me from behind hindering me from walking out the door.
"It is enough Jude. It's enough if you let it be. I need you, Jude. And I know you need me too. You're my other half. Without you I don't make sense. You inspire me to be the kind of man I've always wanted to be. I've changed for the better, because of you."
I turned and placed a hand on his cheek. "But you're wrong Tommy. Because people don't change. No matter how much they want to. I honestly don't think people can change. Thank you for showing me that."
As I opened the door, I turned to see a tear fall down his face. Walking back till I stood right in front of him I wrapped my arms around him and gave him a kiss. Our last kiss. I managed to pry myself away from him. I stopped in the doorway and looked back, memorizing his face.
One last kiss
Before we say goodbye
"Goodbye Tommy."