A Razorblade Romance
Chapter One: One Wrong Thought Can Result In Many Tears
A young, fourteen year old girl walked through the Cross Academy Moon Dorm grounds. She had long, almost black hair that often fell in front of her dark, angry eyes, making her seem foreboding. Her skin was nearly the shade of a deceased person's skin, white and blemish free. She was a few inches taller than the average fourteen year old and slender. In fact, to put it simply, to anyone not attending Cross Academy she would be perfection. But she wasn't. Not at all.
Her name was Cena Kuran. She was the mongrel half-sister of Kaname Kuran, being half-vampire and half human. She and Kaname shared the same mother. So her father was where she had gotten the human blood from. He had left upon finding out her mom was pregnant because she shouldn't have been born. Her mom was married to Kaname's father. She had cheated on him with her father. But Kaname's dad had decided to stay with her when she told her and accepted Cena as his own. Headmaster Cross hadn't known which class—the Day class or Night class—to put her in, so Kaname had told him to put her in the Night Class for fourth years. She hated it there and everyone there hated her. Well, almost. She had a few friends. Everyone tried staying away from her because she was a hybrid.
The skirt of her knee high black long-sleeved dress rippled in the breeze as she walked around. She felt like crying but she didn't even know why. She squeezed her eyes shut for a brief moment and when she opened them, Zero, a member of the Disciplinary Committee, was standing in front of her with his Crossing Danger gun pointing at her head. "What are you doing out here, vampire?" He said, venom dripping from his words. She didn't bother correcting him on the whole 'vampire' thing. 'I wish I could be full human…not half vampire…not half human…FULL human.' She thought silently and sadly.
He couldn't see her face so he didn't know who she was, leading in him not knowing she wasn't full vampire. The hair blew from her eyes. "Sorry," He said, lowering his gun and tucking it away. She knew he understood the thing about not being full vampire or born vampire, understood how hurtful it was.
She shrugged. "That's okay," She said in her gentle voice. She averted her eyes. She never looked anyone in the eye. If she did they might see her pain. Her urge to cry came back and she was even more confused. She glanced at Zero, who was silent now. He was her 'crush.' She always felt butterflies in her stomach at the thought of him, felt lightheaded at his voice and the sight of him. But he didn't feel anything for her. And if he did he never let on at all. She sighed as quietly as she could. "Bye, I guess." She said and turned to walk away. But Zero reached out as she turned away and grabbed her wrist. She turned around again, a feeling of panic rippling throughout her. She had been hurt bad by men before. 'But Zero isn't like that,' She assured herself. 'What would he want from me anyway?' Nothing, the little voice that didn't sound like hers in the back of her mind said. 'Exactly.' She agreed silently.
Zero looked fidgety for a moment with his head lowered, his silver-blond hair falling in front of his eyes and his free hand's fingers twitching with what seemed liked nervousness. "Cena…" He said. Her heart fluttered weirdly. He had never called her by her first name before. She raised her eyes, meeting his as he raised his head. He let go of her wrist.
"Yeah…?" Cena said.
"Um…" He started. "You need to…um, go back to your dorm, please…" He said and turned around quick, walking away. She stared after him a moment and turned, lowering her head. When she turned he was out of sight completely, out of smell, out of earshot. She walked away and into the shadows and sat against the brick wall of a building, bringing her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. She put her head on her knees and her tears streamed from her eyes. She had thought he was going to ask her out from his fidgety-ness, his look of embarrassment, the way he had called her by her first name. But no. Who would ask you out? You're a mongrel. Your blood is filthy. That little voice in her head said. She silently agreed with it, sniffling. She sighed and stood, not feeling like getting yelled at or something by Yuki, the only other member of the disciplinary committee, now. She really didn't want to go back to the Moon Dorm either, though. It was a night off for the Night Class and that meant everyone would probably be down in the 'living room' partying. Girls would be making out with their boyfriends; people would probably be getting drunk. So you'll just lock yourself in your room and blast your music and be lonely instead of miserable seeing everyone having fun. Once again she agreed with the voice and started walking. She tried to make her face seem as expressionless as she could when she saw her older brother walking with Yuki no more than ten feet away. 'Great,' she thought.
Kaname and Yuki reached her. They were holding hands and Yuki was smiling and so was Cena's sibling, but softly. His smile faded as he saw her face. He detached his hand from Yuki's. Her smile had left as well. "Yuki, I need to talk to Cena for a moment." He said. She nodded and walked away while Cena stood there, suddenly interested in a pebble on the ground. He rested a hand on her shoulder. "Cena? Are you alright?" He asked.
"Yeah," She replied in the blankest voice she could muster and glanced briefly into his eyes.
"I'll go with your answer for now," He said softly to her. He doesn't belieeevee youuu, Cena. The voice in her mind said mockingly. She ignored it and shrugged, and as soon as he took his hand from her shoulder she walked towards the Moon Dorm. When she got in she heard the music playing. Before she could get to the stairs her friend Cara grabbed her arm and pulled her towards the living room.
"Come on, Cena, it'll be fun! You never do anything but sit and your room! Come on!" Cara yelled over the music at her friend.
"I don't. Want. To!" She said, trying to pull back from Cara's grip. Cara was somewhat stronger than her though and kept pulling her. Her sharp vampire nails dug into Cena's arm and she felt little drops of blood on her arm. Cara didn't notice and Cena didn't tell her because it felt good. She dragged her into the room and Akon's 'Smack That' pulsed throughout the room. She saw girls dancing against guys and guys grinning and couples making out. She looked around as Cara let go and stood there for a minute. Maybe you should get wasted. She wondered about that. She went over to the bar that someone had set up and ordered a large glass of something strong. She looked around and saw Zero sitting over somewhere alone, making sure none of the Day Class students got into the party as one of his Disciplinary Committee duties. Their eyes met until she turned away and walked outside again. She sat on a rail, chugging the drink. She hated the taste but maybe, just maybe, if she got wasted she would forget everything.
She finished if off quick and heard the front door open. She had been outside alone but now she wasn't. She looked behind her. It was Zero. She could tell he was worried about something but trying to hide it. He had a can of soda in one hand and he sat next to her. "You finished that already?" He said, astonished, looking at the glass in her hand. She nodded. The alcohol wasn't kicking in at all; it wasn't even starting to. "You shouldn't drink that shit." He said in a gentle voice. She shrugged. "It could kill you." She shrugged again. "You don't care if you die?" She didn't answer, or make any movement. She felt his eyes upon her and she raised her head to look at him.
"No. I guess not." She said in a sad voice. Neither does he, the voice said. She believed it once again. She stood up and her glass slipped from her hand. She kneeled on her ground to pick it up but Zero stopped her, but not before she had slipped a piece into a pocket.
"I'll get it…" He said.
"Thanks." She said and walked inside and up to her room. She locked her door and sat on her bed in complete darkness. Now he thinks you're a freak cause you said that. But he doesn't care if you die. I don't either but Kaname does. So give yourself something close to dying. How about it, huh? Or are you a stupid coward? Her mind taunted.
"Shut up!" She yelled at herself. "Just shut the hell up already!" She squeezed her eyes shut and pulled the glass from her pocket, pulled her sleeve up and dragged the shard of clear glass into her arm. Tinted red with blood, she pulled the glass across her skin again. It felt so good. But she stopped because the voice was right. Kaname would care. She shoved the glass into her desk drawer and wiped the blood from her arm, shoving her sleeve back down her arm. "No one would care about this either." She said and fell onto her bed, unconscious.