It was said; the words that I knew were coming, but feared nonetheless. In front of me stood the man I admired, the man that I loved for my entire life because he was the one that kept me ticking. The man that showed me his ninja way, a ninja way that soon became my own and pushed me to stand up for what I believed.

Those horrible words hung in the air, stinging my ears with the cold truth that I have been tossed aside, nothing but second in his eyes.

The small group of people cheered and clapped with mirth, they yelled out 'way to go' and 'what a beautiful thing'. I myself wanted to yell, I wanted to release all of my pent up anger and sadness and scream at everyone to shut up, that those words weren't happy at all. They were nothing but the lid on my coffin, the undeniable truth that my chance was gone.

I looked up at them; my love was standing on a table, his handsome smile shining brightly. One arm was in the air, waving to everyone . . . the other was wrapped around her, my sworn enemy, the one that took him away.

I felt like jumping up onto the table myself so I could strike her with all my strength, screaming at her to never get near him again. That was impossible however; my response was what I did when my father told me I was worthless or when my friends told me that I was just too shy to accomplish anything. I pushed it all down to the back of my mind and smiled.

So that's what I did, I smiled. From the outside I looked happy, but on the inside I was crying, crying because of those words.

Those horrible words.

"Everyone, I have an announcement to make! I, Uzamaki Naruto have asked Haruno Sakura to be my wife. And she has accepted!"

Horrible . . . horrible words . . .

Walking through Konoha was much more fun now. The villagers finally grew to respect me . . . well for the most part anyway. The occasional one who still held a grudge against the evil Nine-tails would still mutter the words that still burned my heart with its acid.

"Can't believe they are electing you as Hokage! Damn demon should die!"

Well speak of the devil, one of my citizens have decided to give me a piece of their mind. Of course at one time, depending on my current mood I would either yell at them to fuck off, or just drop my head and walk home. Now however, I didn't have to do anything.

The villager standing next to the one that so wonderfully displayed his very low IQ let out a snarl and hissed a sentence I so love.

"How dare you speak to the future Hokage like that, I should kill you!"

I could have let the scene play out, and watch the two go at it. I doubt it would be a waste of time, probably quit fun in fact. But, in three months, when my initiation into the role of 6th Hokage comes around, I don't want the probing of village fights on the list of negative deeds. So instead, I'm going to have to prolong my return home to put out this feud, even though the one who disrespected me deserved it.

"I'm sure he didn't mean it, please stand back my friend." The man who defended me made an apology and then took his leave.

"As for you." Turning around to look at the man who told me I should die. Where I saw anger before, now I saw nothing but fear and regret . . . but not much. "As you know I will be Hokage soon. As Hokage I have the power to do anything. And I mean anything. So I'm sure that this will be the last time you disrespect me." The man made a nod of understanding and left.

I went on, enjoying the sound and smell of the village I so loved. The smell however was what really caught my attention. In the midst of the many bakeries, meat shops and people, lingered a fragrance of a divine level; Raman. It was tempting to attack the Ichiraku Stand that stood just ahead of me with all my savagery. Unfortunately for me however, I didn't have the time or apatite. The food from the party was still inside my stomach, taking up the room that the Raman's fragrance begged for.

Passing by I took sight of a woman eating on the stool I usually sat on. At once I recognized who she was, her dark hair seemed to glow purple in the light as it flowed gently down her back and past the stool she sat on. She was bent over, and I could easily tell that she was most likely deeply depressed for some reason. Probably something about her family, considering that even after she worked her ass off to get their approval, they still regarded her as a sort of odd man out . . . well woman out. Her name was Hinata, Hyuuga Hinata, the heir to the Hyuuga family, the most powerful clan in all of Konoha.

I always regarded her as dark and weird. But nevertheless she was a great person; caring, compassionate and not to mention a skilled shinobi. For many years I was oblivious to the crush that she had on me. During a mission several years ago, we had a little together time, just me and her. At first it was awkward, her being very shy and quit, while I didn't know what the words shy and quite meant. While on the mission she informed me of her lasting crush. She told me I was here inspiration to strive to greatness. It must have really taken some guts for her to say that. Considering that at time I and Sakura-chan were already dating. When she told me, I didn't know what to say, didn't know how to let her down easy. I should have tried to comfort her like a real man would and try to explain how honored and proud I was to have someone of such prestige look up to me, to have those types of feelings, but instead I became nervous and afraid. Instead of saying anything . . . I got up quickly and ran off. How immature.

However, that's all in the past, we have made amends and are pretty good friends now. And as any good friend would do when they see someone they care about depressed, I went over to the bar and started up with the questions.

"Hey Hinata-chan, what's with the long face?"

At first she didn't respond, even though I was right next to her, I supposed that she didn't hear me. So after clearing my throat, I spoke up.

"Hey Hinata-chan, what's up."

The girl almost jumped through the roof, she was clearly in deep thought and I had abruptly torn her from the depths of her mind.

"Oh, hello Naruto-kun. How are you?" She responded. She turned to look at me eye to eye briefly, and then turned her head back to the empty space in front of her. If I didn't know better, it was if she was embarrassed, or even ashamed to look at me.

"I'm fine, but what about you. You look pretty depressed. Anything I can do to help?" After I completed the question, I could have sworn she smirked a little . . .

I couldn't eat at all. The smell of the ramen I recently bought lingered in my nose, yet didn't entice me enough to eat it. I thought eating a warm bowl would calm my nerves and allow me to stop dwelling on the past, at least just for a little bit. I was wrong. My mind wouldn't escape the many moments in my life that I've now grown to regret with all of my heart. Moments that involved Naruto, a Naruto that is now out of my reach forever.

"Hey Hinata-chan, what's with the long face?"

Even his voice comes to me in my mind. His lovely, lovely voice. In fact, I love everything about him. Maybe if I loved myself as much as I did him, I wouldn't have been so afraid of telling him how I felt much sooner. It's my fault. I deserve this.

"Hey Hinata-chan, what's up."

It wasn't in my mind; he was standing next to me. His voice invaded my thoughts, and I jumped out of my seat due to his quick intrusion.

Turning my head and putting on a fake smile, I responded, "Oh, hello Naruto-kun. How are you?" Looking up at him, I couldn't help but take in his beauty. He grew up so much over the past few years, becoming one of the most handsome men in all Konoha. I turned my head back to the empty space in front of me. If I looked at him any longer I wouldn't be able to contain myself.

"I'm fine, but what about you. You look pretty depressed. Anything I can do to help?"

I couldn't help but to smirk. Yeah I have a couple things you could do. You could tell me that you actually hate Sakura and love me instead. Then you could pick me up in your arms and carry me to your apartment for a night of passion. That's exactly what you could do. Of course I don't have the guts to actually say that. It's going to have to stay a fantasy.

"No thank you, I'm okay, really." That's a lie. But, he was the worst person I could tell about my problems. Considering he was the main cause of them. He continued to stand next to me; his blue eyes were focused intently on the back of my head. His lasting stare made my back burn with embarrassment. He knew I was lying, and was awaiting a real answer.

I couldn't give him one. So, in an odd sense of irony, I did what he did to me so long ago. I got up and ran. I never looked back, but I knew he wasn't chasing me. I knew he was only watching me run with shock and confusion etched on his face. I continued to run until my legs burned and my breath became ragged.

I found myself at the main gates to the village. For a split second I teased my mind with the possibility of leaving and never coming back. That was stupid however, where would I go? What would I do? Instead I just sat on a nearby bench and watched the many people casually going throughout their day. Not a care in the world.

My mind assaulted me with how pathetic and lonesome my life has been. Naruto pushed me away after I revealed my feelings for him; I was crushed beyond anything I had ever felt. Well until today that is. Still, I tried ways to get over him. I dated other boys, who all paled in comparison to my Naruto, yet still had their own unique charms. The longest relationship I had lasted for only several weeks. It was with Shikamaru, who I knew in the back of my mind was only going out with me as a favor to Ino. She in her infinite wisdom decided to pair me up with the most boring guy in the world. Not only that, but even on our dates he couldn't stop talking about that stupid Sand Shinobi. It was Temari this and Temari that. Temari is strong, Tamari is funny. It was either, "Let's look at clouds." Or talk about Temari. How boring. Of course there were a couple occasions where I wouldn't shut up about Naruto. They were more of a response to his constant Temari worshiping then anything else.

I let out a long sigh of defeat. If only I had one chance to hold Naruto into my arms, to let him say I love you to me, just once, that's all I ask. I just wanted to kiss him before he's gone forever, a married man. If only I wasn't so dark and weird.

One second she was there, the next she was gone, running away at full speed. She didn't look back even once. I'm not as dimwitted as I used to be. I knew exactly why she was depressed, and exactly why she ran away in a flurry. I was marrying Sakura, and Hinata still loved me. I wasn't blind to that. Still, if there was only something I could do. I hated her being in so much pain.

Better not follow her right now I thought. Give her some space, let her deal with it. Then confront her and try to help her along the path of getting over me. Yeah, that's sounds like a good plan.

I sighed and left the Ichiraku stand and continued home. I didn't have long left, as Sakura was already home, getting ready to leave on her last mission before she officially became a married woman. Picking up the pace I half ran, half walked to our apartment. It wasn't like anything I've ever lived in before. I rented it out shortly after becoming a Chunin. The increased wages allowed me to dramatically increase my living style. Compared to the run-down crap hole I used to live in, this place was a palace made of gold, even if it was technically an apartment meant for the 'lower/middle class.' In a couple of months however it wouldn't matter, I would officially be Hokage and live in the largest house the village had to offer.

I opened the front door with the key I kept in my pocket. Inside was Sakura, lacing up her boots in preparation for the mission. I hoped it was something short and easy. She just moved in a couple days ago, and with all the pre-wedding madness we haven't had much time to sit down and enjoy each other's company.

"Hello my Flower." I said. She looked up at me immediately and gave me one of her beautiful smiles.

"Hi Naruto-kun."

"You about to leave?" I asked the obvious question. She bent down and finished the second boot and replied with a "Yep."

As she stood up, her black pants fell over her ankle high boots. She wore a fishnet undergarment that was covered by a pink shirt and a green Chunin-vest. Even in her combat fatigues, she looked amazing.

"So how long will the mission take?" I hoped for a comforting response.

"Only a couple days, it's only a B rank mission. A Jounin team lost their medic in battle, I have to meet up with them and act as back up. It shouldn't be too much. They were dealing with some bandits that turned out to have more abilities then they thought."

I nodded in understanding. Even though it was a B mission, in which we have done hundreds in the past several years together. She was going alone and I couldn't help but worry. It was obvious she saw it on my face. She grabbed me by the waist and pulled me close. "Its going to be okay." She said, "I'll be fine, and we will have the most magnificent wedding in the history of this village."

We both leaned in and fell into a deep kiss. I didn't want it to end; I wanted her to stay in my arms forever. However, I never got what I wanted lately, especially when it came to her. She pulled herself away, and before I could say another word, she was past me and out the door.

With nothing else to do, I slumped down on the nearby couch and flicked on the T.V.

I let out a long sigh of defeat. If only I had one chance to hold Naruto into my arms, to let him say I love you to me, just once, that's all I ask. I just wanted to kiss him once before he's gone forever, a married man. If only I wasn't so dark and weird.

If only there were some way I could get that. It wasn't much to ask. I just wanted something to remember him by. I wanted to feel him, not just to see him. Unfortunately for me, Naruto was an honorable man and wouldn't dare think about even kissing me when he was in love with someone else.

Ha, listen to me. I'm so ashamed of myself. Like its Naruto's fault he would do the right thing. It's my fault. He's just a guy, a stupid guy. Yeah, he's just a guy. There are plenty of fish in the sea, plenty of other people that could be just as good, no better then Naruto.

Lies.

There's only Naruto. I can't get over him. I won't get over him until I at least have a taste of him. Wouldn't that make me want him more though?

No, it wouldn't, it would satisfy me, and I would be able to move along.

What am I talking about, as if there were actually a way? I'm such a weirdo. It's my entire fault.

I flash of pink hair caught the corner of my eyes. I looked up and saw her walking out of the village. I remembered that she had a mission today. It was to be her last for at least a year. If she was out of the picture, then Naruto would be mine. Oh god, what am I thinking. Whether or not she took him away from me, she was, NO, is a friend. She deserves him. Yeah, she deserves him.

Well I could do that.

NO! How dare that thought even pop into my mind. I'm such a sick weirdo. I couldn't dare go along with something so evil. I won't. I can't.

Maybe I will.

"Bayakugen." My vision faded to white, and I focused on her. She had already past the gates and was a good 300 feet outside the village. It was no turning back for her. She was on her mission, which meant if I was going to do it, this would be the perfect time.

I reluctantly got up and went behind the closest tree. I drew in a breath of fresh air. I can't believe I'm going to do this.

"Henge."

There was nothing on the T.V. Just boring talk shows and some sport from some country I've never even heard of. Still it was something to do. I was completely free until tonight. The guys had something planned for me, most likely a bachelor party. I hope they don't hire a stripper . . . what am I saying! Of course I want them to hire a stripper. Maybe a blond with nice long legs, yeah that would be great.

If Sakura knew what I was thinking, she would burst through that door and hit me so hard the Kyubi would cry.

I heard the door shut and be locked.

I turned my head and saw Sakura standing there. At first I thought she had some sort of telepathy and rushed back to beat the crap out of me. Then I noticed that she was just standing there, looking at me. She was trying to decide on something, and whatever it was, it looked like a tough decision.

She stood up straight and walked to me with a look of complete determination.

"Sakura? You forget something?" Instead of a response, she straddled my lap and plunged her tongue into my mouth.

TBC . . . maybe.

BTW, I used to go by the penname; Zedblade. I only published two stories; A flower in the Wind and A New Avenger. A flower in the Wind was finished, but A New A Avenger is in infinite limbo and will never come out. I had to make a new account because I went through this whole "I hate Naruto and fan fiction" thing and deleted my Zedblade account.

The next chapter will be in 3rd person. I like the possibilities that writing in 1st person give me, but I'm just not good at it and rather write in the more comfortable 3rd person perspective. If that's okay with you guys.