-1Our World is Full of Despair and Loneliness

Prologue

Disclaimer: I do not own Kenshin, Kaoru or any of the Rurouni Kenshin/Samurai X characters. Wish I did, but don't. I will also try to keep the characters as close to their original personalities as I possibly can.

Bold Anger, Outrage, You get the idea.

Italics Thoughts, and monologues if you will.

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The rain pounded upon the roof of the undersized dojo for what had seemed like hours, the wind was shaking and rattling the doors. Night had fallen and the tiny lamp outside the front entrance gave no help to any people passing by. A small tattered sign outside of the front door was whipping around from the wind, and as usual, no one seemed to care. Passer-bys never noticed the building, nor even bothered to glance inside of the doors when they were opened on hot days. To them, it was a normal run down dojo with probably a few students and a small family. Needless to say, those people, had no idea what really happened at this small dojo, or who lived there. They had no idea of the hardships these residents had to go through, the places they went or the enemies they overcame. But for the residents of this dojo, it was probably better that few people knew of what really happened here for the past year.

As the rain continued to pour off of the roof and onto the ground, just one person was visible, kneeling on the foyer before her bedroom, watching the clouds roll past with the small light coming from her bedroom and letting the paining wet wind rip at her young face. She bore no smile, no sign of happiness at this bitter moment. She was alone, and even though her friends were sleeping not fifty feet from her, in her heart, she was alone. Before everyone, Kaoru had been the only one here in this dojo, she lived alone, and had only a few students to give her company. She had been a pretty normal girl, except for the swordsmanship and temper she bore. In fact, even after all that had happened, she still was the same girl, the same old Kaoru. A plain girl, that's what Megumi-san used to say, and it was true, to an extent. Kaoru had plain hair, long and black, frightful blue eyes and wore normal bright kimonos. She held no special quality, not even her swordsmanship was that great, sure she was strong, but it wasn't enough.

Not enough to make him stay. But she wanted him to stay, she wanted him to be there with her, be with normal plain Kaoru, for the rest of her and his life. She would do anything, anything to keep him from going, but in the end, she never thought it to be enough. At this point, the pain of the icy wind gripping her face was nothing to the hurt she felt on the inside at this moment. She hated herself, her mind hated her body and her body hated her mind. She could hardly think of anything but him at this moment, she wanted him to stay. But Kaoru, just Kaoru was not enough to make him be with her. She closed her eyes and gave a little sigh followed by a large shiver. She was completely soaked from the rain, the fabric of her thin kimono did nothing to shield her from the rain. But she didn't care, for the past few days, she had stopped caring, and her body started to go numb.

Kenshin didn't care for her in the same way she did for him. She had given obviously hints of her affection and where it rested, but he gave no signs back. Not for the year they had been together. Sure, a touch of the hand or possibly when she was lucky he would put his hand on her shoulder, as if protecting her. Protecting her as if she was a child who couldn't take care of herself, that is what she saw when he did those things. It hurt her more than ever, now seeing him everyday was like torture. He was dangling right in front of her, just out of her reach, and she just couldn't make him come closer. She put her pale hands on her face.

That was why she was avoiding him lately, trying her best to be in the dojo at all times, eating her dinner right after cooking it, then letting Kenshin, Sanosuke and Yahiko all eat without her. She didn't speak much anymore and now asked Yahiko to tend to the firewood in her bath which, for a long time, she had only trusted Kenshin with. It hurt her to do this to him, but having him so close was taking its toll on her, and she would not be able to stand it much longer. Sooner or later she knew she was going to just burst open on him and eventually get her heart broken. He would leave again and she would be alone, in this dojo, with nothing but her heart in pieces. She sniffed slightly and wiped the rain off her face. She looked into the blackness before her and smiled slightly, it was probably already into the morning hours and she hadn't gotten one bit of rest. She could feel her body fatigued and pained, but she showed no worry. And instead of going back into her room, she decided to stay, sleep out here in the rain, maybe then she would catch a cold and die in a week from a fever. She rested the side of her head against the pillar of her home and closed her eyes. To Kaoru now, everything was zoned out, the rain was gone, as well as the wind, all that was around, was darkness.

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Meh. I don't like it really… I will probably edit it slightly, I am a perfectionist that way. I have not decided the entire plot of the story, obviously it will be KenshinxKaoru (maybe), but other relationships I have not decided. R&R please. No flaming.

I will try to make the deadline of April 8th before midnight. Again, try.