Ryou's gone (part 1)
It was a bright shiny morning
"6:00 A.M right on schedule." Ryou said. "Bakura's sound asleep and he won't even know I'm gone. I bet he can manage the Dramatic music plays WHOLE DAY WITHOUT ME. "
"I'll just…leave him a little note." Ryou said writing a note.
Dear Bakura,
I left.
Love…I mean sincerely,
Ryou.
"There. He'll totally understand that." Ryou said walking out and locking everything.
Bakura finally awoke at 12:00 in the afternoon. He yawned and stretched.
"What's this fucking itch that I have and where is it coming from?" He asked himself scratching himself all over. "There I hit it!" He screamed laughing manically and scratching his left ass cheek.
"Hmm. A letter. Who cares? Ryo-o-o-o-o-o where the hell are you-u-u-u-u?" Bakura sang. He searched around the house several times each time his panicking meter rising.
"Ryou? Ryou! Where are you Ryou! Ryou!" He panicked. "The letter yes!" He picked up the letter.
Dear Bakura,
I left.
Love…I mean sincerely,
Ryou.
"Well what the hell does "I left mean!" He asked himself. He gasped. "He's been abducted by aliums!" "Or Marik…but he's already an alium. Or Yugi." Growls. "Yugi." He went to his room and picked up a few knives and threw them at his wall where he had a picture of Yugi with holes in it.
"Ryou. Where could he have gone? Maybe…
"Dream Skit"
Man: "You're coming with me little boy.
Ryou: I'm not little! Bakura help me Bakura!
Men: Laugh evilly.
Man: Our leader shall take care of you.
Marik pops out sitting on a throne drinking diet coke.
"End Dream Skit"
"No." Bakura said shocked. He ran to the door and tried opening it. "These thieves are cleverer than I thought. Who knew Marik had a brain! Or maybe it wasn't Marik maybe it was…Yugi. Growls "Yugi." Or it could be the aliums…or Yami Marik."
"So…many…options…begin…to…fetal…positioning." Bakura laid on the ground sucking his thumb and rocking. "Where is Ryou? Where is Ryou? Where is Ryou? Where is Ryou?"
Light bulb flashes on Bakura's head. "Wait a minute! I…no…slipped my mind back to fetal position." "Where is Ryou? Where is Ryou? Where is Ryou?" Where is…" There was a knock at the door.
"Ryou? Are you home? It is I…Marik! Keeper of the tombs. Lover of tube socks. Ruler of the world! Open up." Marik knocked.
Don't panic Bakura. It's just a stranger Ryou will just pop out of nowhere and save me by opening the door and revealing who it is. Bakura waited for 5 minutes for that to happen.
"Bakura! I see you laying on your ass! Open the damn door!" Marik yelled knocking loudly.
Bakura got up slowly and opened it then screamed to his room.
"Ryou's not home?" Marik asked staring at Bakura pathetically.
"Yep." Bakura said.
Marik sighed. "I brought my Yami." He said.
"Oh what joy." Bakura said dully.
"Hi." Yami Marik said.
"Wait! The door! Is it open!" Bakura asked.
"No…I locked it again." Yami Marik said.
"Damn." Bakura cursed. "Marik…I want you to put your brain to good use. Decipher the meaning of this letter." He ordered.
Marik looked blankly at Bakura.
"Go ahead…decipher it." Bakura said handing it to him.
Marik looked at it and stared at Bakura confused.
"Read it Ra dammit!" Bakura yelled.
"OoOoOoOo!" Marik said.
Dear Bakura.
I left.
Love…I mean sincerely.
Ryou
"Well?" Bakura asked.
"Hmm? This is ones a toughy. I can't quite make it out." Marik said rubbing his head.
"He left." Yami Marik said.
"No shit Sherlock! He was abducted! By thieves!" Bakura said raising his arms.
"Yea…and my man…is YaHabibi." Yami Marik said.
"Why else would the door be locked? Hmmm! Ever thought of that!" Bakura asked angrily.
"Hmm…I don't suppose he…got his key and put the lock on it do you?" Yami Marik asked.
"Could be a possibility but…maybe it was Yugi." Marik said.
Bakura and Marik both growl "Yugi."
"Wait I saw you in my day dream! You kidnapped Ryou!" Bakura yelled pointing at Marik.
"No I didn't! My Yami did!" Marik yelled.
"No I did not Marik." Yami Marik said.
"Did too!"
"Did not!"
"Did so!"
"Uh-huh!"
"Nah-huh!" Marik said. "Aw dammit caught by my own Yami. Curse you Yami."
"We have to get out of here! My life is depending on it!" Bakura said.
"Why?" Yami Marik asked.
Bakura coughed. "Personal reasons."
"You dog Bakura." Marik said.
"I didn't bark." Bakura said.
Yami Marik and Marik sighed.
A light bulb flashed on Marik's head. (Hallelujah! Thank the lord! Thank Ra. Marik's got his first idea since 16 years! Yeehaw!)
"I'm gonna go get a locksmith! You guys say here!" He said opening the door and running out.
Yami Marik's jaw dropped.
"I just noticed Marik's pretty sharp. Getting a locksmith and all. I woulda never thought of that." Bakura said.
"He…opened…the…fucking…door…you…fucking…retard." Yami Marik said.
The door opened and Marik rushed in. "Oops. Forgot one thing." He said locking the door again. "There now we're stuck again."
Yami Marik slapped his head. "I'm killing myself. Marik I hate you Bakura…good luck too ya." He said jumping out the balcony.
"Yami…NO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O!" Marik screamed running to the balcony.
"It's ok Marik. He's in a better place now." Bakura said patting Marik's back.
"Heaven?" Marik asked biting his bottom lip and making his eyes twice their original size.
"Hell fuck no he's going to hell." Bakura said pushing Marik away.
"Hey it's Ryou! Hey Ryou! Hey!" Marik screamed waving at Ryou. "See you Baku. I'm gonna talk to Ryou." He said running out the door and locking it for Bakura again.
"You do that." Bakura said playing with blocks. He heard a thump in the chimney area and walked towards it.
"Yugi!" He shouted. Growls. "Yugi."
"Hey Bakura. Your front door was locked so I came through the chimney. What's up?" He asked.
Bakura narrowed his eyes at Yugi. He's planning on kidnapping me too. This is exactly how he got Ryou…through the chimney. Clever boy. What does he want with me? I'll just play it cool and when he makes his move. I'll be ready too. Hahahahahahahahahaha! "I'm good. Just watching TV. Heard about latest "kidnappings." Bakura said.
"Sad isn't it how sick people kidnap others?" Yugi asked shedding a tear,
Oh please. He kidnapped Ryou being all dramatic I should kill him now and get his puzzle. Fuck I'm getting off topic. I'm doing this for Ryou. Focus…Ryou. Ryou…focus. Mmmm cheese burger. Mmmm. "Huh? Yea. Yea." Bakura said cleaning his drool.
"What'cha up too?" Yugi asked.
"You asked me that question already. In a different way of talking though. Dummy…makes Marik seem like a pigeon. I mean…pro-di-gy. There we go.
"Oh. I brought my Yami." Yugi said.
"I don't care." Bakura said.
"Hello Bakura." Yami Yugi said in a breathless voice.
Damn…that voice…it frightens me. I hate being frightened if it weren't for Yugi…Growls. Yugi… Yami Yugi wouldn't frighten me with his rapist voice.
"You're alone? Oh yes you are that's correct." Yami Yugi said.
"I'll leave you too alone. TeA said she made a friendship collage for me!" Yugi squealed running up the chimney.
"Tea's your lesbian friend too go with him. Scram." Bakura said.
"No. I wanna…I wanna be with you." Yami Yugi said walking up to Bakura.
Yami Yugi wanting to be with me? Asking if I was alone? Grabbing my shirt. "You kidnapped Ryou!" Bakura yelled.
"What the hell?" Yami Yugi asked.
Bakura laughed maniacally. "You stole him. You set the traps right there in front of me so I can see. The frightening quite seductive voice, asking if I was alone, grabbing my shirt…it all adds up! You stole the cookie from the cookie jar!" Bakura screamed.
"I thought I stole Ryou." Yami Yugi said.
"Yea, yea him too. It was you framing Yugi…" Growls. "Yugi" "Like that! Shame on you." Bakura said.
"Ok. I did it I stole Ryou. This is that part where you wrestle me." Yami Yugi said.
"Really? No. It says coffee break." Bakura said reading his script. "Alright. Coffee break I'm taking 5."
Bakura drank his coffee.
"Now is the part where I—hiccups—wrestle you!" Bakura said rapidly and twitching. He threw himself on Yami Yugi and started punching him.
The door opened…
"Bakura?" Ryou said.
Bakura stopped chewing Yami Yugi's face and looked at Ryou. "Oh Ryou! You're back. The aliums let you free! Yugi…" Growls. "Yugi." "Set you free!" Bakura said hugging Ryou's legs.
"Bakura…I left you a note." Ryou said.
"Oh yea! Oh yea! You think it's funny huh! Leaving me here by myself for a week stranded with a seducer! With no food!" Bakura yelled angrily.
"First of all I'm not laughing. Second of all it was a few hours and lastly…there's food in the fridge." Ryou said.
"Now you're calling me stupid! Oh…where's my mommy. Mommy. Someone read me a bedtime story. I'm so depressed." Bakura cried.
"I didn't mean to make you cry Bakura. It's just the truth." Ryou said hugging him.
"Oh Ryou. You're so…cute in this light. Where have you been all my life!" Bakura asked kissing Ryou.
"Who the hell gave him coffee! Huh! What bitch gave my Yami coffee!" Ryou asked angrily.
Bakura laughed, then cried, then growled and twitched. Kissed Ryou again.
"It was you! You gave him the coffee didn't you!" Ryou asked angrily pointing to Yami Yugi.
"No…I no I didn't!" Yami Yugi said nervously.
"Liar! Get back here!" Ryou yelled running after Yami Yugi.
"Ryou? Ryou! Where's Ryou!" Bakura asked panicking.
"I'll lock the doors!" Marik said locking the door.
"I'll die…again." Yami Marik said.
"Resume…fetal…position." Bakura said slowly rocking. "Where Is Ryou? Where is Ryou? Where is Ryou?"
"Bakura…I think you need therapy. I'll be glad to give you therapy as your bestest best friend." Marik said happily.
"No-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!" Bakura said putting his nails into the rug,
"Let's go Baku." Marik said dragging him.
"Someone! Please! Anyone! Save me!" Bakura begged getting dragged away.
(To be continued)
Ahh, another story completed. Feels very good. Looks at bakura
Bakura: still in fetal position
Don't worry Baku. you'll see Ryou soon...inthe next bazillion chapters grabs a flashlight and laughs evilly
Bakura: What about...the therapy?
Marik: You're going to have a great time...I promise. head spins in a complete cirlce
Bakura: screams
Losers...I still love them! RR pwease! .>