Clarke jolts, sitting up and gasping for air, awoken from a nightmare yet again.
"Hey, it's okay," Lexa mumbles, her hand lazily finding Clarke's thigh in her sleepy state, instantly calming the blonde, "it's okay Clarke," she mumbles, pulling the blonde down to snuggle away her fears.
Clarke exhales as she sinks into Lexa's hold, her eyes closing, allowing herself to relax.
"There we go," Lexa whispers, her face finding its way into Clarke's neck.
Clarke hums, letting her hand tangle into dark locks as she ignores the world. Taking a breath to collect her thoughts and enjoy the smell of Lexa's shampoo.
After a few moment before Lexa can feel Clarke's heart beat faster.
"Clarke?" Lexa questions, still halfway asleep and content to stay there.
"Um, Lex?" Clarke questions, pulling her hand away from dark locks.
"Whatcha want Clarke?" she questions, her face still pressed into Clarke's neck.
"Lexa. We're in bed together," Clarke states.
"We went out drinking Clarke, we always end up in bed," Lexa chuckles, pulling away from her, she freezes when she notes no cloth between her hand and Clarke's stomach.
She swallows, forcing herself not to look down to Clarke's body, to keep looking into blue eyes as she questions "Clarke, you have clothes on, right?"
Clarke shakes her head no, her eyes leaving Lexa's on their own. Lexa's body is pressed up against hers, and Clarke can feel something she isn't used to.
"Lex?" Clarke questions, looking at the brunette, shifting her leg where extra weight is.
Lexa closes her eyes, swallowing her fear, "I am sorry Clarke. I'm going to get dressed and leave at once," she says, rolling away, blue eyes finding Lexa's secret.
"Wait," Clarke whispers, grabbing Lexa's forearm. Lexa flinches, causing Clarke to flinch herself, letting go of her arm, her hands going up.
"Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to grab you. Can we," she sighs, "can we just talk about this?"
Lexa scoffs, finding her panties and putting them on, "I don't want to talk about how you can't deal with the fact I have, well you saw it."
"That you have a dick?" Clarke questions, not noticing Lexa's flinch at the word, "I don't give a fuck that you have a dick-"
"Don't call it that," Lexa whispers, sitting on the edge of the bed and looking at her feet.
"Okay. Okay Lexa. I want to learn, okay? Teach me, tell me what you need. I-I…" she sighs, "Can I touch you?"
Lexa side eyes her, not moving her head, for a moment before giving the tiniest nod of her head. Clarke moves so she it sitting next to the woman, enjoying how Lexa's eyes take in her own body. Clarke takes Lexa's hand in hers, tangling their fingers together.
"I love you Lexa. I know we say it as friends a lot, but after last night," Clarke groans, flashes of last night running through her head, being finger fucked against their front door, eaten out on the kitchen counters, hearing Lexa moan in her ear as she came in her pants from rubbing against her leg, getting to the bedroom and having drunk, sloppy sex, "After last night I don't want to go back to being friends."
Lexa sighs, turning to face her best friend, doing her best to keep her eyes from wandering, her mind from wandering back to the sounds Clarke makes when she's about to cum, the feeling of her thighs around her head, the arch of her back when she is almost there.
"I love you, Clarke. I just… You don't really want me. Not really."
"Hey, who are you to tell me what I want? Lexa, I'm telling you, I want you."
"You don't know what I am, you didn't know until last night."
"And I recall loving it last night Lex. I know you enjoyed it too," Clarke mumbles, running her thumb over the back of Lexa's hand.
"I don't… I don't like doing some of what we did last night," Lexa admits, looking away from Clarke, attempting to hide the tears in her eyes.
"Lexa," Clarke mumbles, gently guiding Lexa to look at her, cupping her face, "I don't care if we never do any of it ever again, okay?"
"But you just said-"
"If you don't enjoy it, I don't like it. I want to do things you like, okay? I want to make you feel safe, okay? You're safe with me. You never have to do anything you don't want to ever again, okay?"
Lexa nods, a tear slipping out.
"So what do you want to do baby?" Clarke questions, wiping away the tear.
"Hold me?" Lexa questions.
"Of course," Clarke mumbles, pulling Lexa back into the position they were in earlier. Lexa snuggled in Clarke's neck, this time Clarke rubbing her back and pressing kisses to her forehead.
"Whatever you need baby, I'll get it for you," Clarke mumbles as Lexa starts to sob.
"I love you," Clarke whispers twenty minutes later when Lexa's sobs have stopped and her breathing has evened.
"I love you," Lexa answers, voice deepened from crying, surprising Clarke.
"Let's go back to sleep?" Clarke questions.
"Of course," Lexa wraps an arm around Clarke's waist, loving the skin-to-skin contact.