Camping with… Her!
By: Hailey Petsinger
Erin. A lot to say about Erin. Oh wow. Don't know where to start. How bout the most memorable trip I have ever took, and guess whom it was with. Yes you guessed it, Erin,
"Erin! LETS GO!" I hollered as my dad honked the horn, in her driveway. We were running extremely late. She finally came out of her house with literallyeverything imaginable. She had two sleeping bags covering her face, with a huge suitcase dragging behind her and a pillow strapped to the back of it. The suitcase had clothes sticking out of it and the zipper wouldn't budge for her to close it. She had high heels on, and was wearing a miniskirt. Oh joy, this was goanna be awesome! Guess we were going… camping. Yes, full out, wilderness camping. She was so prepared. We were sleeping in a two-person tent. This was going to be a comfortable fit.
"Oh…my...gosh." my dad whispered.
"I know." I agreed. "Can we leave? NOW?" I asked regretting my decision to chose her out of my friends to go on a camping trip. Not a good idea.
"Yea! Gun it dad!" my brother, Austin, excitedly jumped in the passenger seat.
Suddenly she tripped down her stairs. Guess she couldn't see the step. No wonder, with all her crap covering her face. She rolled down the stair and her clothes sadly saved her landing.
"IM OKAY!" she announced even though we never asked.
"Better go help her." My dad stated. Great, I thought sarcastically. I got out of the car in absolutely no rush, just thrilled to go on this trip. I offered her my hand and she grabbed it pulling herself up and wiping off her skirt.
"Humph," she grunted. She got her rolling suitcase and I grabbed her 10-foot long pillow and two sleeping bags. When she finally got in the car after filling the whole backseat and trunk, everyone went silent.
"So like how big is the house?" she asked dumbly. Austin started laughing and I swear he peed himself. My dad stayed silent trying (unsuccessfully) to keep back his smile.
"Uhh, Erin. I told you," I announced dryly.
"Told me what?" she asked suspiciously.
"That we were, ahhh, sleeping in a tent," I stuttered.
"What?" she squeaked. Her mouth dropped and she dramatically acted like she was dying. "It's okay, it's okay." She reassured herself taking deep breaths. Oh gosh.
"What's so bad about a tent?" I asked.
"I didn't bring enough!" she whined.
"Erin, seriously how much do you need?" I questioned.
"I packed soooo light!" she announced dramatically, extending the 'o'. I went silent after that remark.
* * * * * * *
"COME ON ERIN!" I yelled from the top of the hill. She was trudging up the hill tiredly. I had already dropped my stuff off at our tent and she still hadn't gotten up the small hill.
"ITS NOT AS EASY AS IT LOOKS!" she announced out of breath.
"Then WHY am I up here already?" I asked, annoyed. She didn't respond.
After 10 minutes of climbing the little knoll she finally got to the peak were she met my gaze. She dropped her stuff on the grass next to me.
"Oh-my-gosh!" she wheezed. "I can't… breathe!" she dramatically announced. Just then her suede boots slipped on a little patch of mud. Erin fell on her stomach and slid down the hill; right back to where she had been 10 minutes ago. "CALL AN ANBULANCE I'M DEAD!" She lifted up her head and her face was coated with mud. I laughed silently.
"It's not FUNNY!" she yelled, still flat on the ground. Guess she heard my chuckle. I ran down the hill gracefully and hovered over her impatiently. Once again I offered her my hand. She maneuvered herself around so she was on her back.
"Thanks," She muffled silently. I grabbed her hand and dragged her up the hill as she stomped like a child behind me. We got up in 2 seconds. Whoa she was just…speedy.
We met up with my dad and brother at the campsite and my dad had a worried look on his face.
"What happened? I was just about to send Austin out looking for you," he said protectively.
"Nothing… We" I looked over at Erin, technically speaking her not me "had some trouble getting up the hill."
"Oh." My dad fell silent noticing the brown mud smudges all over her body. Austin fell into a deep laughter. She rolled her eyes annoyed.
* * * * * * *
After Erin and I had set up the tent-well actually I had set up the tent while Erin watched-we headed down to the lake. It was a local camping site and you could set up your tent anywhere and swim in the lake that had mountains bordering it. It was absolutely beautiful.
Erin and I head down by the lake in our bikinis anxiously waiting to plummet into the sparkling water. As soon as I could see the glimmer of the lake I sprinted full speed towards it excitedly.
"WAIT UP!" Erin hollered from behind me. I swiftly flicked off my shoes and ran full speed into the water -noticing some cute guys along the way-and diving down into when it got deep enough. I popped up my head and saw Erin running in. She attempted to do the same thing as me but failed unexpectedly. Erin ran, but instead of successfully making it to the water her foot got snagged in a small sand ditch and she belly flopped in to two inches of water. She then leaped up in a milasecond noticing the laughing people. Erin tried yet another time. She backed up a couple feet warily and ran into the lake, this time spraying everyone watching in the face with water. Even the attractive guys! I ducked my head embarrassed to act as if I didn't know her and right then I was wishing I hadn't.
"Hailey!" I heard Erin holler worriedly above the water, looking for me. I saw her feet under the water and swam towards them like a shark. I grabbed one of her legs and pulled her under. She screeched loud, and it was though everything went silent. It echoed through the mountains. I popped my head up. Erin looked at me, out of breath.
"I THOUGHT YOU WERE JAWS!" She shrieked at me making her look all the more stupid. It was a lake for goodness sake. The five hot guys swimming around us turned their heads so Erin wouldn't see them and laughed. I laughed with them.
"Hey, boys," Erin said to them flirtatiously unaware they were laughing at her. Just then, at the most perfect timing, a seagull flew above our heads and shot a load of poop right on Erin. White crap splattered on her hair and face, totally missing me-how I don't know- and misting on the boys. She touched the top of her head warily unknown of what the white stuff was, she brought her hand to her nose, sniffed it, and stupidly enough licked it.
"ERIN NO!" I yelled, but like always, it was to late. Her tongue touched the white poop and her face crinkled up in disgust.
"Hailey. What is this?" she asked, unsure.
"Well, it's not marshmallows, that's for sure." I said chuckling.
"Its not?" she asked dumbly. I didn't say anything. Neither did the laughing guys. "Then what the HECK is it?" she demanded. I pointed up to the sky were another seagull flew by.
"Poop." I spoke softly.
"POOP? GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF!" She ear-piercingly screamed once again echoing through the mountains. Erin spit out the sample she had tasted, grossed out. I knew for sure I would never forget this trip. Erin ducked her head under the water and scrubbed her hair really hard trying to get the substance out. She came back up coughing and out of breath. At this point all the guys and I were laughing hysterically.
"ITS NOT FUNNY!" she whined.
"Yeah, kind of is," one of the guys said.
"No." she shot back.
"Yes." He threatened.
"NO." she insisted. This went on for a while and the other four guys and I started having our own conversation.
When we got into our tent later that night, it had already been to long. I am surprised now looking back that I even made it. For the rest of the week things were constantly happening to Erin and I will never forget even one of them. Later on that week she also swallowed a bug, got chased by a squirrel and, fell more then five times. Got all of her clothes muddy. Got a sprained ankle. Went to the bathroom in public view (without knowing it.) Fell down another hill. She had a tick, and out of all of this, she got one good thing. A boyfriend. The one who had been arguing with her. His name turned out to be Eugene, and he was very… different, but enough about him. After that week she learned how to camp… the hard way. And I think we both learned from our mistakes that week. She learned –surprisingly- she actually liked camping (probably because of the guys), and I learned if I ever want to invite a friend to camp I should bring Erin (if I want another laugh that it.)
Understatement
Exaggeration
1 irony