Alright, another story that I am for some reason starting while I have another story running, but I can't help myself.
To explain my reasoning behind this, let me tell you a story. I was reading through the BleachxNaruto fanfictions, looking for a really good story where Ichigo goes to Konoha and kicks ass. I couldn't find that story, so I decided to write one myself. Story over.
I'll warn you before we even get into this, I am writing this chapter on a whim, I have absolutely zero percent of the plot thought of, and this story will in absolutely no ways be serious, I just really want to write a story where Ichigo goes to Konoha and kicks ass, and for now that is all I have planned for this story, so it will be probably be shit, and I will probably delete it after having posted the first chapter. Reason for that being that as much as I think about it, I really don't see much good plot I could make with this story, so if I do make something out of it, it'll probably be very short, 10 chapters-ish, maybe less. You have been warned, don't roast me.
Also, for all the people that read my other story, *cough cough* Hybrid *cough cough* really good story you should read it *cough cough*, the update schedule will not change for it, so worry not.
I think that is all for the introduc... I mean warnings, so sit tight, buckle up and get ready to read the worst story you will ever read! Smiley face.
Oh, and by the way, Kaguya is not a character, not in this story at least. I won't have a conversation about this.
'Life's boring as fuck.' Ichigo thought, his head leaned into his hand as he sat sloppily on his throne, the Soul King's throne.
A back story might be needed for such a thing, you see, about a hundred years ago, Ichigo Kurosaki was just a normal 15 year old kid, albeit that he could see ghosts, but still, normal, he lived with his father and two sisters, his mother having passed away when he was 9. He was normal.
Then he met Rukia Kuchiki, and it all went south, and that's a light way of saying it.
Shortened version of the story is; he got shinigami powers from Rukia, after which he became a substitute Soul Reaper. Then Rukia got taken back to Soul Society and was sentenced to execution for having given her powers to a 'regular' human, so, being the oh so great person he is, Ichigo decided to go and save her.
'Ahh, too long, 20 words or less. And why the fuck are you narrating?' Ichigo grumbled to the spirit representing his quincy powers, Ossan. (A/N Yes, 4th wall break in the first 100 words, I told you this story would be shit, although they won't happen often.)
The spirit ignored him, although he did shorten his summary, "Long story short, he killed two megalomaniacs and saved Soul Society's ass twice, while during the process becoming the strongest... thing?" Ossan seemed to reflect on his choice of words, "Whatever, the strongest thing to ever exist, making him a perfect replacement for the Soul King, who had died because of one of the two megalomaniacs. So now Ichigo's the Soul King. Taa Daa." Ossan said, not even trying to sound dramatic at his last words.
'Good, although that was longer than 20 words, I think.' Ichigo said, 'Uggh, I guess I'll go check on the captains, see how they're doing.' he decided, getting up from his throne, 'You know, I still don't like the whole, 'I am the strongest being in existence, I am the Soul King, respect me, bow down to me, I have a giant ass mansion that I have no need for' thing, it's annoying as shit, especially since no matter how much I ask them not to, they still bow down to me.' Ichigo complained to his spirits, although it did truly disturb him, he hadn't done anything to warrant that, and even if he did, he still wouldn't want to be treated that way.
"Oh look at me, I'm Ichigo and I'm sad because I'm a super-powerful monster that is loved and adored by everybody in Soul Society because I saved their ass not once, but twice. Oh, and I could probably have sex with any women I wanted to. Poor me." he heard his other spirit, who was the manifestation of his shinigami and hollow powers, say, mockingly for that matter. Although Ichigo could tell he was joking around, as he had avoided using the term 'Strongest being in existence', he wasn't the only one who didn't like being treated that way, even though Shiro was in part a hollow.
'Jealous, much?' Ichigo teased, smirking as he walked out of the room, making his way to the edge of the Soul Palace, and jumping off it. The drop not disturbing him at all.
"Pfft, please, I get to experience anything you do, after all." Shiro replied, to which Ichigo smirked even more.
'Ahh, but we both know it's different experiencing things the way you do, versus the way I do. Take that one time with Yoruichi for example...' Ichigo laughed as his spirit made a pained noise.
"No! Don't remind me of that! You know it's basically like watching porn, I didn't feel anything, I never feel anything!" Shiro whined, being reminded of all the times he was left to be a spectator while Ichigo... did his thing.
'A sad life you lead, Shiro.' Ichigo said with fake sympathy as he landed softly on a building of the Seireitei.
"Yeah, fuck you too."
He made his way towards the captain's meeting room, where he could feel there was something going on.
He didn't even bother knocking as he walked in, surprising the captains only in the sudden appearance, they were used to their Soul King coming down to visit them, they were also used to the fact he didn't have many manners, or couldn't be asked to put them in practice.
The new presence didn't even disrupt the meeting for a second as Ichigo walked to the side, listening to what the captains were talking about for anything interesting. Sadly, there was nothing.
"Alright," Shunsui, the captain-commander, since Yama-jii had died during the war against the second megalomaniac, said, stifling a yawn, "I think that's all for to-" he cut himself off abruptly as a massive surge in reiatsu seemingly appeared out of nowhere in the middle of the Seireitei.
Ichigo looked up, and was gone in the half-second, excited at the prospect of something finally happening.
He arrived at the scene faster than any soul could ever hope to, looking at the portal in the sky in interest.
'It's not a garganta or a senkaimon. But it's a portal alright.' Ichigo thought, analysing the portal further he was surprised to find that it was manifested through the use of seals, not any kido, foreign seals for that matter.
He looked deeper, trying the find the source of the portal, and was shocked when he realised it led neither to the living world, Hueco Mundo, Hell, the valley of screams, it led nowhere he knew. Which was shocking because, as Soul King, he knew just about everything there was to know about stuff like this.
He felt if there was anybody coming through the portal, and was shocked to find that he could indeed feel a presence, a very strong presence. It was obviously not trained in the use of reiryoku, but it was at least at the level of Kenpachi, before he released his sword.
'Oooh this is gonna be exciting!' Ichigo yelled in his mind like a schoolgirl.
By the time the person had made it through the portal, a time that was pretty fast for how long Ichigo had felt the portal was, all the other captains were already gathered around and, having felt how strong the presence was, each had a hand on their sword.
Ichigo held his hand up, signalling there was no use in putting up their guards, something most of the captains would have usually resented, but they had learned through fighting with him as an ally that he never took things like these lightly, and always had a reason for doing things in situations where rational thinking was needed.
It turned out Ichigo was right, as was the norm, as the person who made it through the portal looked nowhere near anything dangerous, simply because of how tired he looked.
Although that wasn't the only thing. All the captains present could see it, Ichigo as well.
The man had no intention to fight, his eyes told the entire story. He was looking for help.
He fell to the ground unceremoniously, his limbs clearly fighting simply to stand up, and promptly fell unconscious, his body falling to the ground. Although the portal didn't close.
Ichigo walked up to the man, the captains following a couple steps behind him.
He flipped him over, allowing Ichigo to see the intruder.
The man couldn't be any older than 17, technically making him a boy, but Ichigo was able to tell by the look in his eyes when he had arrived that he had gone through things most people never would in an entire life time.
If he hadn't been tattered in dirt, bruised and cut up, he would definitely fall under the category of handsome. His spiky blond hair, bright blue eyes that Ichigo had barely had the time to see, and somewhat chiseled face definitely let him fall under that category.
The rest of his person was no better, he wore black combat pants and a black shirt, along with some weird pouches on his sides, that were empty, but they weren't much better for wear, as they were caked in dirt and blood, small cuts adorning them, so many that Ichigo wondered how the clothes were still staying on him.
Although he didn't dwell on those thoughts too much as his hand started glowing green, and he passed his hand over the teen's body, "His internal organs aren't damaged, at all, as a matter of fact, aside from the cuts, he's absolutely fine, just dead tired." Ichigo told the curious captains, ignoring the fact that he had felt another weird energy in the boy.
"What do we do with him?" Soi-Fon, captain of the second division, asked.
"I'll take him to the fourth." Ichigo said, "Let him sleep for a while, if he takes too long to wake up I'll do it."
A hundred years ago, that would have never slid with the captains, but then again, a hundred years ago the Soul King didn't visit Soul Society on leisurely trips, and the Soul Society had learned their lesson when it came to identifying anything and everything they didn't know as a threat.
Ichigo picked up the blonde, hanging him of his shoulder, and disappeared in a burst of speed towards the forth division, Unohana Retsu, the forth division captain, following quickly.
"Huh, well that's that I guess." Shunsui said, approaching his long time friend and captain of the thirteenth division, Jushiro Ukitake.
"Yes." Ukitake agreed, a short smile forming on his lips, "Can you believe how different Soul Society has become in the past 100 years? Before we would be running like chickens with our heads cut off if an incident like this happened. Now we simply shrug it off like it's nothing." Ukitake said wistfully, reminiscing on the days he was talking about.
Shunsui had a small nostalgic smile on his face as well as his mind drifted back to the days before Ichigo had showed up, "We did run around like chickens with our heads cut off when Ichigo and his friends showed up." Shunsui reminded.
Ukitake nodded, "Indeed we did. Now Ichigo's our Soul King, how times change."
Ichigo made it to the forth quickly, walking into the division and making his way to the nearest free room, avoiding the awe, and confusion filled looks of the people who he crossed on purpose.
He found a bed that wasn't being used, and lied the man on it, not caring to lay the covers on top of him, he wasn't planning on letting him sleep that long anyways.
The forth division captain walked in, "What are you going to do once he wakes up?" she asked, smiling softly.
Ichigo shrugged, sitting down in a nearby chair, "I'll ask him what he's doing here, where he's from, how he got here, what he wants. Normal questions for somebody who entered Soul Society like this." Ichigo replied, it was standard procedure in Soul Society to ask questions before acting nowadays, even though there were barely ever any Ryoka, "I'll wait here for a couple hours, if he doesn't wake up I'll use some of my special magic. You don't have to stay."
Unohana nodded, bowing slightly and walking out of the room, leaving Ichigo alone to analyse the teen.
He felt powerful, not only because of his Reiryoku levels, but also because of another energy, one Ichigo didn't recognize, much to his confusion.
He looked more into the energy, trying to break it apart, although it proved fruitless, it was almost as if the energy was rejecting him, for what reason, he didn't know.
Deciding to go for a more radical approach, he walked up to the unconscious man and laid a hand on his stomach, trying to forcibly take a bit of the energy, although he was caught by surprise as he felt a small shock.
He retracted his hand calmly, the shock was barely a tickle to him, but he had felt it, it was obviously some type of defense mechanism. He put his hand back, this time expecting the shock.
Ichigo focused on the energy, quickly realizing why the natural reaction the body of the man had given was a small shock at the invasion of the reserves of energy.
Ichigo couldn't know for sure, as the reserves he was looking into weren't his own, but from what he could tell, the man's reserves were low, dangerously low. If the energy he used was anything like reiryoku, then he would die if he couldn't replenish it.
There was something else to it though. Sure, there wasn't a lot of energy, but that wasn't all to it, it felt weak, the cells of energy almost felt like they were lacking something, almost as if they were trying to function with a vital part missing. Something that shouldn't be possible, and if it was, was probably extremely unfavorable.
Ichigo sat back down, still observing the teen. He didn't want him to die, not because he particularly cared about him, but because Ichigo had been bored out of his mind for the past several dozen years, and he would give close to anything to be entertained again, and it seemed like the kid could give him some entertainment.
But he couldn't do anything about something he didn't understand, and he couldn't hope to learn anything from the unconscious man in front of him.
'I know I said I would leave him a bit of time to sleep, but I'm impatient.' Ichigo thought, standing back up and putting his hand back on the teen's stomach.
He used a technique he had learned could wake up almost anything that had reiryoku, meaning every single living creature, from anything as far as a semi-comatose state, and the kid was up instantly.
He sat up fast, breathing heavily from his sudden wake up, "Where am I?!" the man exclaimed, he could remember why he wasn't anywhere near a battlefield, or Konoha, but he didn't know why he was in a hospital bed. He looked around, quickly spotting the other presence in the room before he even laid eyes on him.
He wasn't that hard to sense if he wasn't hiding himself, the pure aura of dominance he had was easy to feel. The teen turned his head towards Ichigo instantly, staring at him with wide eyes.
Ichigo met his stare back with a bored expression, "Where you are? You're in the Soul Society, although I don't think that's gonna help you much." Ichigo told him, and was proven right when no amount of recognition flashed across the man's eyes, "What's your name?"
"Uzumaki Naruto." the now named Naruto said, trying to calm himself down.
"Would you mind telling me what you're doing here? You kind of just came out of nowhere from a portal in the middle of the Seireitei." Ichigo inquired.
Naruto's eyes widened, remembering why he had been sent across the portal in the first place, "I was sent here because we were losing a war. We decided this would be a last resort, when all was lost." Naruto jumped out of the bed, "But it's not all lost." Naruto said, his voice full of determination, "We decided I would be sent here after Kurama was taken out of me, since I was basically useless." Naruto explained bitterly, obviously not liking the idea of being useless.
"Okay, you know what, I don't need to know what's going on, this story is obviously too complicated to explain in a couple words." Ichigo said, "Basically, you're losing this war, and you were sent here as a last resort to find a saving grace or something?" the Soul King quickly resumed.
"Yeah, I guess that would be the the really shortened version. So? Can you help?" Naruto asked pleadingly.
Ichigo grinned, "Sure. I literally have nothing else to do these days. Besides, all you gotta do is ask with me." he said, making to leave the room, although he stopped when he realized Naruto wasn't following, "What are you doing, kid? You seemed to be in a pretty big rush." Ichigo questioned.
"Uuhh, yeah, I guess I just wasn't expecting anybody to say yes to something like that." Naruto said sheepishly.
"Yeah, you were right to think that, although you got lucky, because my life has been about as boring as can get for the past 100 years. So I'm looking for entertainment. Can you keep up?" Ichigo asked, he had no doubt Naruto could keep up with him if he wasn't so tired, but in the situation he was in Ichigo doubted he could do much.
Naruto was suddenly reminded of how tired he was because of the question, stumbling slightly, almost falling if Ichigo hadn't taken his arm, "Thanks." Naruto said.
"Just get on my back, it'll go faster that way." Ichigo said nonchalantly.
Naruto stared at the man's back with a confused expression. He really had no clue what was going on, first he woke up in a room with somebody who was so naturally intimidating the blonde felt like he was an ant under his shoe. Then said person had actually bought his horrible sale's pitch to help him, and now the person was telling him to hitch a ride on their back. What the fuck was going on?
Naruto mentally shrugged, deciding not to look a gift horse in the mouth, as he mounted Ichigo's back, and they took off.
To say Ichigo was going fast was an understatement. Naruto literally felt like he was trying to have a race with light at the moment, "SLOW DOWN!" Naruto yelled.
"Too fast? Sorry." Ichigo said apologetically, slowing down to acceptable speeds for Naruto, although they were still going extremely fast.
Any doubt Naruto had had in the man at first, that he was crazy for doing something like this, were instantly thrown out of the window right then and there, if this guy could go at those kind of speeds without seeming even slightly perturbed...
They might stand a chance after all.
Ichigo stopped in front of the portal, where the captains were waiting, "I'll be back in a bit!" Ichigo said, giving them a peace sign as he jumped into the portal, that proceeded to close behind him.
The captains simply stared at where their King had disappeared in shock, "What?" they all said simultaneously.
"Only Ichigo..." Ukitake said somewhat fondly, "The boy probably woke up and asked for help. Ichigo isn't one refuse something like that."
"Still," Byakuya said, a soft smile on his lips, "his rashness is gonna get us killed some day." he criticised, although his tone was somewhat fond as well.
"It's also saved us a lot." Shunsui argued, smiling as well.
"Indeed." Byakuya agreed.
Ichigo made it across the portal in record speeds, only stopping right at the end of it, "Anything you might want to warn me about?" Ichigo asked.
Naruto would have fallen down dramatically, had Ichigo not been holding him up. His face still did take on a comical expression, "Seriously!? You ask that now!?" he said incredulously.
"Yeah." Ichigo replied casually.
Naruto couldn't find it in himself to protest, and simply answered the question, "Well, the guys who you're fighting are OP as shit, that's about all I can say."
Ichigo smirked, getting ready to walk through the portal, "Not any different from all the others then."
'All the others?' Naruto thought, wanting to ask, however he was interrupted as Ichigo chose that moment to walk through the portal.
Ichigo looked on at the battlefield in front of him, floating in the air where the entry to the dimension was, "That's what you're fighting?" he asked incredulously, pointing at the giant monster that was ravaging everything in sight.
"Uuhh, not only that..." Naruto replied, showing Ichigo the two people on top of the monster, "We're also fighting those two, in total, there's about 3 ridiculously powerful enemies we're facing." he explained.
Ichigo squinted, finally seeing who Naruto was talking about, 'What the fuck?' he thought, the two dudes on top of the monster were... particular, to say the least. To start off, their eyes weren't the same, for the both of them, in one socket, they had a weird red eye, and in the other, they had an even weirder purple ringed eye, 'I'll admit that looks cool as shit but like, what the fuck?'. That wasn't all to them however, one of the two guys, the one who was wearing some weird old styled armour, looked like his skin was cracked, almost like a pottery that was broken, though he was still in one piece, the sclera in his eyes were also black, slightly panicking Ichigo in what that could mean.
But once again, that wasn't all there was to them, the final, and definitely weirdest, part of the scene, was the fact that the monster and the two men on top of it were connected, the two had an odd limb sticking out of the nape of their necks that connected them to the thing.
"What... the... fuck?" Ichigo asked, never in his entire career as a shinigami had he seen something like this, "That's what you're fighting?" Ichigo asked again.
Naruto looked down, "Yeah..." he said, his tone resigned this time.
Suddenly, Ichigo burst out laughing, gaining the attention of everybody that was fighting, and almost falling to the ground in the process. Naruto looked at him, his expression one of utter confusion, as he finally regained control of himself, "Y'all really did some shit..." he muttered, still chuckling,"This is gonna be fun alright!"
Taa daa...
Once again, don't think this story is gonna be serious, this is basically just gonna be fan service.
I'll update some time soon, probably within the week.
Thanks for reading.