I looked down at the sleeping, gray she-cat. Crouching, I licked her on the forehead. She responded with a weak flick of her ear. Tigerclaw's words were stuck in my mind. It's your fault that she's hurt. You let her go to the Thunderpath!
Yellowfang, as if reading my thoughts, stopped mixing herbs crept over and sat beside me. I looked at her sadly.
"Cinderpaw will be okay..." the medicine cat gulped before she spoke the last few words, "but she will never be a Warrior." I gaped. Turning back to my unfortunate apprentice, I tried to say something comforting to her, but all I could say was: "I'm sorry."
"Lionheart," I meowed weakly, "I knew you would be the one to bring me home."
The large, golden tom turned and looked at her. "So did I."
"But," I shuffled my paws nervously, "I forgot to tell Fireheart something. May I go to him?"
"He might not hear you, but you can try."
I turned and looked behind me. I could see the ginger shape of Fireheart, mourning over my body. I bounded down to him and touched his flank. He did not turn to me, but he did flick his ears, as if he sensed
something beside him. I purred and whispered into his ears gently. "I did not treat you like the honorable warrior you truly are." He looked around him.
"I just wanted to say..." I gulped, "I'm sorry."
They were gone. It was too late. I turned and flicked my tail with frustration at myself. Why did I do that to them? Turning, I gazed back into the territory boundary once more as if they would come back. But they didn't. I had treated Squirrelpaw and Brambleclaw like they had broken the Warrior code. Even though I had not understood the meaning of the fire and tiger prophesy at the time, I knew it was still wrong of me to punish them before any deed was done. What a fool of a leader I was! My thoughts were interrupted as I heard a crackling in the bushes beside me. The sleek, pale ginger form of Sandstorm appeared. She obviously knew what I was thinking.
"All leaders make mistakes," she mewed, pausing to give me a quick lick on the forehead. "Even Bluestar did. But everything is going to whatever StarClan planned. Don't feel afraid. Brambleclaw will take good care of Squirrelpaw."
I tried with all my heart to believe those words. But I couldn't. I was a very inexperienced leader. Brambleclaw was constantly bickering with Squirrelpaw and vice versa. How could any of this be StarClan's plan?! But something in her voice made me know deep down that she was right. Sandstorm turned and leapt back into the bushes, brushing her tail against my cheek as she did. I purred and was about to follow her. But I turned and looked back over the Thunderpath. I quietly tried to push out the words that I felt unworthy even to say "I'm sorry."
Don't let go! the look in Smokepaw's eyes pleaded. Please don't. I wanted more than anything to obey those unspoken words, but the stones beneath my paws began to crumble forward. I tried to keep my grip on the gray tom's scruff, but instinct got the better of me. I immediately released the weight that was slowly pulling me down and jumped to safer grounds. Smokepaw went whistling downward with a horrifying screech. I felt a sweep of hot guilt and sorrow flood over me. Trembling, I looked over to Blackstar and waited for reprimands and accusations of murder. But his eyes were like flecks of stone, cold and uncaring for the lost apprentice. The other Clans stared at me with mixed feelings. I turned away. I had the chance to prove myself a loyal deputy, protective of her Clan. But worse than that, a ShadowClan life had just been lost… needlessly.
One by one, the cats began to move on again, taking turns jumping over the crevice. I stayed behind and stared into the deep pit, wondering if Smokepaw would forgive me even in StarClan. I mourned for nearly the whole night. My whisper echoed endlessly into the depths, bouncing off the walls and traveling downward until it disappeared into the unknown. "I'm sorry.... I'm so sorry."
A/N Please tell me if I should take out the Rowanclaw/Smokepaw bit. I don't know if it really expresses ShadowClan's attitude correctly. But tell me what you think.